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    Category: Money

    Acts Of God

    | Australia | Money, Religion

    (My job is to process insurance claims made for home and contents damages only. I make an out-bound call.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, this is [me] from [company] calling. Is [customer] available, please?”

    Customer: “Speaking.”

    Me: “Oh, good afternoon. I’m just calling in regards to the recent insurance claim made for your ‘outhouse.’ Do you have a few minutes?”

    Customer: “Certainly.”

    Me: “Okay, fantastic. We have received the report from [builder] regarding the damages to your ‘outhouse.’ In this report they have identified that the ‘outhouse’ in question is in fact a caravan and not an ‘outhouse.’ In light of this I’m calling to advise that it isn’t covered by your home insurance.”

    Customer: *clearly doesn’t understand this* “But I use it as an outhouse, it hasn’t moved in the last 34 years. I use it to help those in need for a shelter for an evening or two. I’m doing God’s work here. It’s an outhouse.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I understand that, and whilst I respect the use that you put it to, it doesn’t change the fact that it is in fact, a caravan. We won’t be able to provide coverage in this instance.”

    Customer: “But I’m doing God’s work! Do you hate God? Are you a heathen?!”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I do not hate God. I am not religious and whilst I respect that you are, religion has nothing to do with insurance. For your caravan to be covered in future by [company] you will need to purchase caravan insurance for it, but I must advise you that if you purchase this now, all pre-existing damage will not be covered.”

    Customer: “HEATHEN!” *click*

    The Price For Room To Improve

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Money

    Me: “Good evening, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “What are your rooms at for Thursday night?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’ve sold out. Would you—”

    Caller: “Okay, but what are the prices?”

    Me: “Well, the prices are based on availability, so I can’t give an exact quote, but I can—”

    Caller: “What do you mean?! Why can’t you just give me the price?!”

    Me: “Well, based on other nights, it would be between $169 and $199, plus the local tax, but we are sold—”

    Caller: “No! You’re not hearing me! What’s the exact amount!?!”

    Me: “That would be $222.88, ma’am.”

    Caller: *in a very condescending tone* “There! That wasn’t so hard, was it!?”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Caller: “So, how many of those do you have left?”

    Paying Fool Price, Part 2

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Money

    (We are in the middle of a massive stock-take sale. The store has two enormous banners at the entrance stating this, along with stands of our sale brochures. Every aisle and wall is hung with SALE posters every 2 metres, and there are red SALE balloons on every fixture. Every shelf or stand has an A3 sign on it stating the percentage of discount on that range, as well as smaller signs showing the price of individual items. Instead of our usual business wear, the staff are all wearing red shirts which have the company logo and SALE written on them, plus name badges. It’s quiet for a moment, so I am filling an empty shelf with stock from a trolley.)

    Customer: “Do you work here?”

    Me: *laughs* “Yeah, I do.”

    (She doesn’t even seem to take in my company shirt and apron, name badge or the fact that I’m doing stock work. She just seems mildly surprised.)

    Customer: “Oh, I wasn’t sure.” *picks up an egg poacher* “Is this on special?”

    Me: “Yes, everything is on special today. We’ve got 40% off cookware at the moment.”

    Customer: “Are you sure it’s on sale?”

    Me: “Yes, I’m quite sure there’s a sale on.”

    (I laugh, but she is just staring at me strangely.)

    Me: “The sign on top of the shelf says 40% off all cookware, and the little sign in front of the poacher says the egg Poacher now [price]. So it’s [price].”

    Customer: “I need to know the exact price. Go and check it for me.”

    Me: “Okay, well, the girls on the register can scan it for you to confirm the price before you purchase.”

    Customer: “No. I want you to check now.”

    (Giving in, I go right down the front, scan it, and not surprisingly, it comes up at the exact same price as I told her.)

    Me: “It came up [price].”

    Customer: “Oh, so it is on sale! I’ll just tell my sister!” *takes out phone* “Cheryl! They have a sale on!”

    (I ran into ‘Cheryl’ later. You’ll never guess what kind of questions she asked me.)

    Related:
    Paying Fool Price

    Cash-Back-And-Forth

    | Lincolnshire, England, UK | Money

    (Whenever a customer asks for cash-back, I always repeat the amount back to them just to make sure I have heard correctly.)

    Customer: “Can I have £30?”

    Me: “That’s £30?”

    Customer: “No, £30.”

    Me: “Yes, £30 cash-back?”

    Customer: “No, I want £30.”

    Me: “Yes, that’s what I said, £30 cash-back.

    Customer: “Look, do you do cash-back?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Well, can I have £30?”

    Faith Renewed In The Drive-Thru

    | Columbia, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (A customer comes in, and once she makes it clear that she doesn’t want to order anything, I’m expecting a complaint.)

    Customer: “I know this is going to sound strange, but just hear me out. I went through the drive-thru this morning and they put a burrito in my bag that I didn’t pay for. I would like to pay for that now.”

    Me: “You… came back here to pay for something that you got, but didn’t order?”

    Customer: “Yes!” *beams*

    Me: *flustered and a little confused, I ring up the burrito* “That will be $1.06.”

    (The customer hands me the money happily and goes on her way. For me, this was an incredible show of honesty. Lady, wherever you are, thank you for restoring my faith in humanity.)


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