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    Category: Money

    Cashier Doesn’t Register The Cash

    | Glasgow, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

    (I’m showing a new employee the basics of working behind the counter. Everything is going well and it’s a quiet night, so I decide to call my mum and ask if she could lend me some money for the night. As I am on the phone, one of my regular customers comes in. I tell the new employee to have a go of the till on his own. I finish the conversation with my mum.)

    Regular Customer: “Hi, how are you?”

    Me: “I’m alright thanks, yourself?”

    Regular Customer: “Yeah, I’m not too bad. Were you asking your mum to borrow money there?”

    Me: “Yeah, I’m supposed to be going bowling tonight with my friends, but I’m a bit low on cash. She said it would be alright if I paid her back when I get my wages.”

    (We have a chat as we usually do. She tells me she was always borrowing money when she was my age.)

    Regular Customer: “Okay, well I hope you have a nice night!”

    Me: “I will, thanks a lot; see you later.”

    (She leaves, only to come back a minute later, and talks to me incredibly fast.)

    Regular Customer: “You’re always really friendly and have a chat with me. Here, take this; enjoy your night!”

    (She slams a £10 note on the counter, and runs off into the night before I can even say anything.)

    Me: “WHAT? WAIT! THANK YOU?!”

    (I try to catch her to tell her she doesn’t need to do that, but she is away in her car before I can even get out from behind the counter.)

    Me: “I… I don’t even know what just happened. That is the nicest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

    Coworker: “Does this happen a lot?”

    Me: “Never! This never happens. You just witnessed history.”

    Acting Like A Has-Bean

    | Yonkers, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

    Customer: “Excuse me, how much is one coffee bean?”

    Me: “One bean?”

    Customer: “Yes, just one.”

    Me: “Can I ask why you want a single bean?”

    Customer: “Just tell me the price!”

    Me: “Uh… well, they’re [price] per pound, so you could try to weigh one bean and work it out from there.”

    Customer: “Perfect!”

    (She weighs one bean. The scale comes up ‘0lb, 0oz’.)

    Me: “Well, I guess if you just want one bean you can take it, although you won’t get much coffee from it.”

    Customer: “That won’t be a problem.”

    (She grabs the entire stack of bulk bags, and begins placing a single bean in each one, weighing it, and then printing out a price tag.)

    Me: “Wha… hey! You can’t—”

    (My manager suddenly appears.)

    Manager: “Shush, let her finish.”

    (It takes the customer nearly half an hour to load up as much coffee as she wants. She proceeds to an automatic checkout, but after scanning her second free bean, the machine stops.)

    Automatic Checkout: “If you have combined two of the same item, please combine them.”

    Customer: “D*** it!”

    Manager: “Oh, I’m sorry. These machines can be kind of picky. I’ll get that for you.”

    (He stacks the entire mound of bagged coffee beans onto a scale, weighs it, and then presents her with the now massively inflated price.)

    Customer: “I… hey! I’m not paying that much! Put them back.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, I’m not permitted to return food to the shelves once it’s been handled.”

    (They argue, and finally the shopper gives up and pays for the beans—and the bags. After the customer leaves, my manager returns.)

    Me: “She paid!? We were all expecting her to throw them on the ground and run out!”

    (I was actually correct! When I left the store, I noticed dozens of bulk bags strewn around the parking lot!)

    Desperately Needs Change In His Life

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (I work at an amusement park. They are very strict about the money, and I am the head cashier. It’s about 100 degrees out, and there’s a long line of about 100 people waiting to place an order. A customer rudely cuts everyone in line, and starts talking to me.)

    Rude Customer: “Hey bud, can you give me four quarters for a dollar?”

    Customer In Line: “Hey, I was in line!”

    Rude Customer: “Relax, I’ll only be a second.”

    (The customer ignores the rest of the customers complaints.)

    Me: “No, sir. I’m sorry; we’re not allowed to open the register.”

    Rude Customer: “Aw, come on man! I just need four quarters.”

    Me: “Well, if you want change, you can go to the customer service desk at the front of the park.”

    Rude Customer: “Are you f****** serious!? It’s 100 f****** degrees outside; I am not going to the other side of the d*** park, you a**-wipe!”

    Customer In Line: “Dude, no need to be a jack-a**. Plus, you cut in line anyways.”

    Rude Customer: “Mind your own business you old lady. Dude, seriously, give me my f****** change for a dollar!”

    (My manager overhears.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

    Rude Customer: “I need change for this f****** dollar, and your stupid-a** cashier won’t do it.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re not allowed to make change for a dollar. You need to go to the front of the park and go to customer service. They’ll do i—”

    Rude Customer: “I was already f****** told that! And I already said, I am not walking all the f****** way over there!”

    Customer In Line #2: “Dude, shut the f*** up already! We’re waiting in line for food, and clearly you’re not getting your change!”

    Rude Customer: “Mind your own d*** business! I need it ’cause my girlfriend is on her f****** period!”

    Customer In Line #3: “Here’s a stupid quarter you a**-wipe!”

    (Customer In Line #3 proceeds to throw quarters at the customer who cut in line. The customer then proceeds to pick up the quarters. My manager bends over the counter and looks down at the man.)

    Manager: “You have 10 minutes to get your girlfriend her tampon, and out of my park, before I call security!”

    (The customers in line start clapping as he runs away, with no girlfriend in sight!)

    Freedom Isn’t Free

    | USA | Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (I’m a bank teller at a large national bank. A customer in her mid-twenties comes up to my till.)

    Me: “Welcome to [bank name]! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I find the total amount I owe for my student loans?”

    Me: “Sure, what is your full name?”

    (She gives me her name, and I give her the amount owed. It is a fairly large amount.)

    Customer: “Perfect!”

    (With a large smile, she hands me a cashier check from another bank, for the exact amount, totally paying off all loans she has with this bank. I enter the info, and print her receipt. I quickly run to the back to see my manager.)

    Me: “Can I give this customer a couple of the promotional items that we usually give to people that open checking accounts?”

    (My manager see the amount that she is paying, and that this means the customer has totally paid off the loans.)

    Manager: “You can give her whatever you want!”

    (I grab some items, and bring them back up to the till.)

    Me: “Congratulations on paying off all your loans. Here’s your receipt, and a few gifts for paying off such a large loan amount.”

    Customer: “Thank you very much! What I’m about to say has nothing to do with you; you are a great person, and thank you very much for the free gift. So, just go with everything I’m about to do.”

    Me: “…Okay?”

    (She holds up the receipt above her head, and speaks in a loud voice.)

    Customer: “Ha! Six years ago I sold my soul to this bank! But after going through the nine circles of hell, I have finally gotten free of it! I now owe you nothing, zip, zero, nada! I am free; no more bills, payments, fees, nothing. I’M FREEEEEEE!”

    (Even as she walks out the doors, she’s yelling and dancing. The dozen or so other customers and workers watch her the whole time. Another customer speaks loud enough so just about everyone can hear him.)

    Customer #2: “Raise your hand if you wish you could do that.”

    (Just about everyone else in the bank raises their hand.)

    Cause For Pregnant Pause

    | ON, Canada | Bizarre, Money

    (A customer calls in, noticing that she hasn’t had any money taken from her account for her water heater rental for the last couple months.)

    Me: “Okay, so let me look into your file. Hmm, seems you’ve not been set up on our new billing system. That’s probably the problem. Let me just grab your info from the old system to fix it. Wait, you’re not in there either.”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “I don’t think you’ve been billed for this in a while. Yeah, here’s a note from 2007 saying you hadn’t been billed since September ’06. It seems as though they just closed it without actually fixing it. You haven’t been charged for seven years.”

    Customer: “Wow.”

    Me: “Now, unfortunately, we’re going to have to back-bill you for this—”

    Customer: “Oh, God!”

    Me: “…but luckily for you, we cap back-bills at one year. So, it won’t be a couple grand: it’ll just be about $300.”

    Customer: “Oh, wow, that’s so much better. Thank you!”

    Me: “Wait, did you just thank me for billing you $300?”

    Customer: “Yeah. It’s like one time when I was 14, and I’d just gotten my first piercing. I told my parents that I was pregnant, and by the time they figured out that I wasn’t, they were okay with any other news I could possibly have given them.”

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