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    Category: Money

    Lying Is All Relative(s)

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

    (I am working in my father’s cafe. A customer orders a substantial amount of food.)

    Me: “Okay. That will be $36.19 please.”

    Customer: “Oh, no. I’m the owner’s brother, so I get all of my food half price.”

    Me: “Um, okay. That will still be $36.19, sir.”

    Customer: “Excuse me! Do you know who I am!? Now ring my order up right, or I’ll get your purple-haired a** fired!”

    Me: “Okay, give me moment.”

    (I turn around to the grill line, where my father is cooking.)

    Me: “Hey, daddy! This guy says he’s my uncle, and if I don’t give him a discount you’ll fire my purple-haired a**. What should I do?”

    (I have never seen someone run out of a restaurant so fast in my life!)

    The Scam Doesn’t Fit The Bill

    | Waterville, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I’m working the counter during the breakfast shift. The customer pays with a $10 bill. I hand back the change.)

    Customer #1: “You shorted me $10; I gave you a $20!”

    Customer #2: “You did. I saw him; he paid with a $20.”

    Me: “Okay, let me check; just one moment.”

    (I go and grab the manager’s keys to open the drawer. I’m already suspicious, since Customer #2 was so quick to speak up. I pull out the entire cash drawer and shelf.)

    Me: “There aren’t any $20s in here.”

    (I hold up the shelf were we usually put the $20 bills, to show them it’s empty.)

    Customer #1: “Um, never mind…”

    (After they leave, it dawns on me that the manager had just moments before emptied my drawer of $20s. Thank goodness for that!)

    Pregnant With Potential

    | Sarasota, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Money, Top

    (I’m stocking shelves. A customer has been browsing the same aisle for quite some time. She is visibly pregnant, and looks as though she has been crying. She’s flipping through an envelope full of coupons and scrutinizing items before putting them back on the shelf. Another customer comes down the aisle and seems to pay her close attention for a moment. The second customer leaves the aisle but then comes back a few minutes later and hesitantly walks up to the pregnant customer.)

    Nice Customer: “Excuse me. I may be way out of line, and please feel free to tell me to mind my own business if I am, but… are you afraid you’re going to have trouble paying for your groceries?”

    Pregnant Customer: “Actually, yes I am. How did you know?”

    Nice Customer: “A few years ago, I had a really difficult pregnancy. I was too sick to work and lost my job. It was a real struggle to make ends meet. I used to spend hours at the grocery store with every coupon I could find trying to save every penny I could. Looking at you was like looking in the mirror. Listen, I just went and checked out, and I came in a little under my weekly grocery budget. I know it’s not much, but I’d really like to give this to you.”

    (She hands the pregnant woman a $20 bill. The woman promptly bursts into tears.)

    Pregnant Customer: “You have no idea how much this means to me. My husband just left me for another woman. I have no idea how I’m going to support myself and my kid. My mother and brother died this year, and I have no one to lean on.”

    Nice Customer: “After the hard times I went through, things got a lot better for me. It may sound like a cliché, but I believe you’ll get through this and be stronger than ever. Just hang in there, okay?”

    Pregnant Customer: “Do you think maybe I could give you a hug?”

    Nice Customer: “Of course.”

    (The two women embrace for a long time. When they pull apart, they both wipe away tears. They don’t see, but so do I.)

    Discounted Hell To Pay

    | SLC, Utah, USA | Money, Musical Mayhem, Religion, Top

    (I work for a company that sells musical equipment. I am taking a call from an older gentleman who tells me that he is a priest. He has been very nice for the duration of the call, and we are almost finished placing his order.)

    Priest: “Now, could you give me 15% off on this? You would be doing the Lord’s work if you could get me 15% off my order!”

    Me: “Well, I don’t think I have a 15% off coupon, right now. I’ll check and see.”

    (I put him on hold, and check my available coupons. There is only a 10% coupon. I return to the customer with this.)

    Me: “So, I couldn’t get you 15% off. I do have a 10% coupon, though!”

    Priest: “Child, do you what to go to Hell?!”

    (I am taken aback.)

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Priest: “Hell, Child. If you don’t give me 15% off my order, your soul will rot in Hell for all eternity!”

    Me: “I’m a red-head, sir; I don’t have to worry about that. Now, is there anything else I can add to your order today?”

    Prices Are Frozen

    | OH, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work at an ice-cream stand. A herd of small children come up to the counter. None are older than eight years old.)

    Child: “Umm, miss, how much is that?”

    Me: “How much is the cone? Or how much is one scoop on the cone?”

    Child: “How much is the cone?”

    Me: “Well, this cone is technically free. If you get one scoop on the sugar cone, then you only pay for the scoop of ice-cream.”

    Child: “Okay, one sec.”

    (All the children giggle, then run to a woman nearby. They chat for a bit, and then they run back.)

    Child: “How much for the sugar cone?”

    (I tell them, and they again run back to the woman standing nearby. They repeat this charade a few more times by asking the exact same questions, until they all finally order. Each one of them orders one scoop of ice-cream on the sugar cone. Their total comes out to about $30.The woman nearby later comes up and cuts in front of six customers.)

    Woman: “Can I see a receipt for my order?”

    Me: “Sorry, your kids paid in cash, and didn’t want the receipt; I threw it away.”

    Woman: “Okay, well my kids told me that you told them that one scoop on a sugar cone was free. They all got one scoop on a sugar cone. WHY DID THAT COST $30?!”

    Me: “I told them that the cone was free, but the scoop itself was [price].”

    Woman: “That’s not what they told me.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I did tell them that.”

    Woman: “Wow. You must be the biggest idiot if you cannot convey the price of ice-cream to children!”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am.”

    (She stands there glaring at me. The next two customers are a couple of guys, who then come up to the register to pay for their order.)

    Guy #1: “Who the h*** hands their kid a 50, and sends them up to an ice-cream stand?”

    (The woman hears him, and stares at him with her jaw dropped.)

    Guy #2: *mocking the woman* “Where is my receipt?! Why are you so dumb?! Why did I have children?!”

    (The woman scoffs loudly, and storms off.)

    Me: “That was awkward.”

    Guy #2: “That was hilarious! She was such a b**** to you!”

    Guy #1: “I don’t think you did anything wrong!”

    (He tips me $20, smiles, then walks away with his friend.)

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