November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Money

Independent From Your Day

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Canada, Holidays, Money

(Vancouver sees a lot of American tourists. Just like American businesses, we are concerned about counterfeit bills, so typically $50 and $100, US or Canadian, are rarely accepted and there are signs to this effect. This story takes place on a July 4. Exchange rates [generally quite unfavorable] are posted in case they use USD.)

Box Office Box Office Attendant: “Your total is $25 for 2 tickets.”

Customer: “Can you break this $100(USD)?”

Box Office Attendant: “I’m sorry; sir, but we cannot accept bills of that denomination. Do you have anything smaller?”

Customer: “No, and no one takes them. What can I do?”

Box Office Attendant: “You could take it to a bank and exchange it for Canadian.”

Customer: “How? Banks are closed today.”

Box Office Attendant: “Why would they be closed?”

Customer: “It’s a holiday!”

Box Office Attendant: “July 4th is not a holiday in Canada, sir. Today is a regular weekday.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you don’t celebrate Independence Day! Why don’t you?”

Box Office Attendant: “That’s your holiday; we have Canada Day on July 1. Banks are closed that day.”

Customer: “It would be lot easier if you followed our holidays.”

Box Office Attendant: “We’ll keep that in mind. Perhaps you have a credit card?”

Totally Checked Out

| GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I am working on the customer service desk; we cash payroll and tax return type checks. The phone rings.)

Me: “Customer service, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I just got my state tax refund check. How much do y’all charge to cash checks?”

Me: “It’s $3 up to $1,000; after that it’s $6.”

Customer: “Oh, well, see, my check is only $4… How much do you charge for that?”

Me: “It’s still a $3 fee. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Can I give you the $3 in cash, so it doesn’t come out of my check?”

Me: “Uh… it’s… gonna automatically take it out. You’re probably going to be better off finding a bank to cash it.”

Customer: *huff* “Fine.”

Not In Good Insurance Company, Part 2

MN, USA | Health & Body, Money

(I work in the business office of a specialized eye care clinic. We often get calls from people who are confused by their statements, since we switched to a new system halfway through the year. )

Me: “[Business], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, I’m calling about the bill I received. I already paid this, and you fools are still charging me!”

Me: “Let me take a look at your account. Can I have your name, please?”

(She gives me the name of the account, and I pull it up in my system.)

Me: “It looks like the bill is due to an office visit that was done in November; the insurance company did not cover the whole cost.”

Woman: “See, that’s the thing, you idiot. I wasn’t supposed to have that visit. I just needed a referral, and the stupid doctor forced me to come in. I don’t think I should have to pay.”

Me: “Well, it does look like a full exam was done, and so you would need to pay for services that you received.”

Woman: “Are you a f****** r****d? I just said that I shouldn’t have to pay for it because I didn’t want to come in! Jesus, I can’t believe how stupid you people are! The damn doctor made me come in to get my damn referral, and I shouldn’t have to pay because he just wants to make more money off him. Reverse the charges right now!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but from what I’m able to see, it does look like services were performed, and not just a referral. I’ll need to check with my supervisor and the doctor to see what we can do.”

(I explain the situation to my supervisor, and we both go talk to the doctor. I tell him what’s going on, and give him the name. He sighs.)

Doctor: “Obviously she thinks I don’t remember the visit, but I do. She skipped four visits in a row, so I didn’t know she needed a referral until she finally came back in and I checked her out. Tell her to send a check in and pay us, for God’s sake.”

Me: *I call the woman back, to tell her the outcome* “So, I did speak to the doctor and my supervisor, and that visit will need to be paid for, as the doctor was not able to refer you until he could examine your eyes.”

Woman: “Well, I suppose I’ll arrange for some money to be sent in. But I’m going to tell my insurance company about you and your ways!”

Not In Good Insurance Company

If I Had A Gold Coin For Every Odd Customer

| Aurora, CO, USA | Bizarre, Money

(I am on the phone…)

Me: “…so I’m sending you an email confirmation of this reservation. Would you like the confirmation number verbally as well?”

Caller: “No, thank you. I do have one question, though…”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Caller: “I have a clay pot sitting in front of me. It’s about eight inches wide and twelve inches deep.”

Me: “…Yes?”

Caller: “Would you be able to fill it with gold coins?”

Me: *thinking he means gold dollars* “Oh, no, sir. Unfortunately gold coins aren’t something we generally keep at the front desk, but there is a bank located within walking distance where you can exchange for gold dollars.”

Caller: “So you’ll give me a voucher when I get there?”

Me: “Uh… no. You have to exchange your own money for the gold dollars.”

Caller: “Okay. Stay out of trouble!” *click*

He Needs To Be Taken Outside And Quartered

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(It’s Black Friday and the line has never shortened or ended since we opened.)

Customer: “Hey, I was wondering if you guys sell World of Warcraft subscriptions?”

Me: “Yes, we do. The cards are over there on that carousel. They only come in a two-month pack, though, so it’ll be $29.99. Is that all right?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, that’s perfect. It means I can get rid of these!”

(At this he takes out a GIGANTIC zip-lock bag of quarters and plops it on the counter in front of me. I stare at it in disbelief for a second and look helplessly at my supervisor… but he’s staring helplessly, too. In fact, the rest of my coworkers and most of the Black Friday line are staring.)

Coworker: “You don’t happen to have an alternate form of payment, do you?”

Customer: *cheerfully and blissfully unaware of the several withering glares being sent his way* “Nope!”

(I had no choice but to count out $30 in quarters in the middle of Black Friday. Ten minutes later, after he gets his subscription, picks up his giant zip-lock bag, and leaves, the next customer comes up with an aghast look on his face.)

Next Customer: “It’s Black Friday, for f***s sake! Who DOES that?!”