October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Money

Needs More Than A Penny For Your Thoughts

| TN, USA | Money, Technology

(Our cell phone provider has a promotion where you can add a smartphone or open a new smartphone account for one cent. We are in the store to upgrade our account. A woman and her husband come in to get an explanation about their bill. They watch us get a new phone and the sales person ask us for one cent.)

Woman: “Can I get one of those one cent phones?”

Salesperson: “Yes, all you need to do is upgrade to our data plan.”

Woman: “I don’t want any upgrades. I want to get a phone for a penny and give it to my daughter.”

Salesperson: “You really need to have a data plan with a two year commitment in order to get a phone for a penny. We can sign up your daughter if you’d like.”

Woman: “I don’t get it. I just want a phone for a penny.”

Woman’s Husband: *leading her out of the door* “I’ll explain it to you.”

Counting Up The Idiots

| USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

(I’m a supervisor at a well-known department store. I am ringing up a customer.)

Me: “Okay, sir, so that’ll be $20.24.”

Customer: “But the sign said it was on sale for $24.99.”

Me: “Okay… but it’s $20.24.”

Customer: “BUT THE SIGN SAID $24.99!”

Me: “Sir, 20 is cheaper than 24.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s cheaper? Okay.”

Me: “…”

Give Me A Low Five

| Canada | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

(A woman and her daughter at my checkout are very pleasant right up until I read her total.)

Me: “All right, your total is $17.93.”

Mother: “Oh, yes, not a problem.”

(She puts a 5$ bill on the counter and we keep chatting. I put the bill under my printer to hold onto it thinking she is getting more. Finally I ask—)

Me: “Ma’am, I still need $12.93.”

Mother: “I gave you a twenty though! You said the bill was 17.93.”

Me: “That is the total, but you only gave me a five—”

Mother: “No, I gave you a f****** twenty. I know I did! Don’t you lie now!”

Me: “Ma’am, all you gave me was a five. I put it right here.”

(I grab the bill and slid it back onto the counter, thinking maybe she just thought she grabbed a twenty. I was shocked considering her daughter looked to be no older than eleven and she is swearing.)

Mother: “Well, look harder. You must have dropped it, you f****** dumb b****!”

(Appalled and getting panicked that I might have made a mistake, I look on the floor around me but I can not find a twenty anywhere.)

Me: “Ma’am, all you gave me was a five. I’m sorry but I don’t see it.”

Mother: “Well, then, you must have pocketed it! Pull out your pockets!”

(I do so and I look more and more worried. This is only my second week and I don’t know what to do.)

Daughter: “Mom, you only put a five.”

Mother: “Shut up, [Daughter]! I know what I did and I know what happened. This b**** distracted us by pretending to be nice!”

(At this point my manager shows up because I was supposed to go on my break and she finds me near tears, being shouted at by this woman.)

Manager: “What is the problem, ma’am?”

Mother: “This f***-tard of woman you hired took my money and then lied! She stole right from me! I demand her fired!”

Daughter: “Mommmmmm! You—”

Mother: “[Daughter], shut it!”

Manager: “[My Name], go on break. I’ve got this.”

(I leave on break pretty much crying now. When I come back my manager is leaning at my cash and decides to share the story:)

Manager: “Apparently this monster of a mother meticulously keeps track of every penny she spends. Has a little book of what she spent and where and had been doing shopping all day. After being given a calculator she realized she spent more than she thought she had and was short twenty dollars because of her own spending. Get this though: even though her daughter kept insisting she was wrong, she wants us to check the security cameras and call her to make sure you didn’t take anything. If she comes in again let me know and I will serve her. She pulls this stunt again and she’s banned.”

(Turned out, a week later she came back and tried it again – this time without her daughter!)

Can Finally Hear What You’re Saying

| UK | At The Checkout, Money

(I am a volunteer working for a charity which provides hearing support for the deaf community. We hold outreach clinics in various health centres, providing hearing aid batteries and general maintenance as well as advice. All our services are completely free of charge, and clinics are on a walk-in basis which means when we are busy patients have to wait for quite a while to be seen. This doesn’t always go down well. My next patient is an elderly lady who scowls at me and huffs angrily as she comes into the room.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Lady: “My hearing aids are all muffled. I’ve been waiting for over an hour!”

Me: “Sorry about that, it’s busy today.”

Lady: “Well, it shouldn’t take an hour to be seen.”

Me: “Okay… Well, sorry, I’m on my own—”

Lady: “You’re always on your own. They never send more than one person.”

Me: “Er, yes, I’m the only one who covers this area—”

Lady: “They need to get more workers, then. This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Well, they only have the people that actually want to do the work—”

Lady: “They need to offer more pay or something. They obviously need more people!”

Me: *laughing* “Um, they don’t offer any pay, actually. We’re all volunteers.”

Lady: “Yes, well, but… you get expenses.”

Me: “I don’t get a penny, not even travel expenses. I walk here.”

Lady: “Well, if they don’t pay you anything why do you do it?”

Me: “I just like to spend my time helping people who need it. I don’t get paid, so the charity can keep doing these clinics for free. Now, did you want me to look at your hearing aids for you?”

Lady: *looking embarrassed* “Yes, please…”

(This happens fairly regularly, unfortunately.)

Trying To Re-Coup The Coupon

| Westland, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(I am working the return desk at a major department store. We offer a dollar-off coupon for every x amount the customer spends, to be used at a later date. If the customer returns products from the original purchase and the return brings the total under x amount, it makes the dollar off coupon void.)

Me: “Okay, you are going to get $35.76 credited back to your Visa, and it will deactivate your [dollar off coupon].”

Customer: “What do you mean, it will deactivate it?!”

Me: “The coupon will no longer be valid. By returning these items, it drops your purchasing total below x amount, which was what you needed to earn the coupon.”

Customer: “But I had PLANS for that [dollar off coupon]! I was going to buy my daughter new shoes!”

Me: “I apologize for that, ma’am, but I cannot override the system. Once you return products and the total drops below x amount, the coupon is no longer valid.”

Customer: “Well, I still have the coupon right here!” *waves the physical [dollar off coupon] in the air* “I’m not gonna give it to you, so I am just going to take it right up to the register and use it! HA!” *she actually laughed right in my face*

Me: “Well, it actually deactivated electronically, not manually, so the cashier would see that it does not have any balance on it. You can—”

Customer: “But, but… THAT’S NOT FAIR!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but if you would like, you can make another purchase, and if that purchase and your old purchase combine to equal more than x amount, I can issue you a new dollar off coupon.”

Customer: “No, no, no! I shouldn’t have to spend more money. I already earned that dollar-off coupon when I made THIS purchase! You are just trying to rip us hard working people off so you can pocket more money! I was going to get my daughter shoes, so I guess you want my daughter to walk around barefoot, looking homeless, and catching some wild disease. You want my daughter to die!”

(She storms off, exiting our store for the rest of the mall, still raving about how I want to kill her child.)

Me: *to my coworker* “Well, if she needed shoes for her daughter that badly, maybe she shouldn’t be purchasing $70 worth of nail polish and fragrance.”

(That customer called to complain to my manager, saying I “threatened the life of her and her child,” and chased her out of the store. Of course, my coworker vouched for me about the threats, but even my manager didn’t believe that I chased her out of the store!)

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