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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Money

    Don’t Let Your Hair Down

    | UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a cashier. An older woman and her son come in, and spend about 20 minutes perusing the sweets section, all the while glancing back at me and smiling quite creepily. She finally comes to the counter with two bags of Jelly Babies.)

    Me: “Hi. How are you? Will this be everything?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “That will be £2.10 please.”

    (She gives me a £50 note.)

    Me: *sighing inwardly for having to get such a large amount of change* “Thank you. Here is your change, £47.90.”

    Customer: “No, no, no. I am only paying £1.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but individually they are £1.05. That won’t be enough.”

    Customer: “No, this is not right. I don’t want to pay that.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the price is clearly marked on the shelf, and they have scanned into to till at the correct price.”

    Customer: “Well, fine, but I want smaller notes in my change.”

    (I oblige, and change out the larger notes for smaller ones, noticing there is now a queue of about 5 people behind her, looking impatient.)

    Me: “Thank you very much. Have a nice day.”

    Customer: “You have nice hair. So long, such a nice colour.”

    Me: “Err, thank you. Is there anything else I can get for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes. No. I don’t want these sweets. Refund me, and I want my £50 note back.”

    (By this point I am getting quite impatient, but I still remain polite, and do as she asks, taking her change back off the counter and putting it back in the till drawer.)

    Me: “Okay. Here is your £50 note. Have a nice day!”

    (The customer suddenly lunges over the counter and grabs my hair, pulling me halfway over the counter, which is quite painful!)

    Customer: “Such nice hair! I want it! SO nice!”

    (I manage to get my hair free and jump back, quite startled.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it is not okay for you to invade my personal space and yank my hair. If you do not wish to purchase anything today, then I will have to ask you to leave as you are holding up a line of customers!”

    (The customer gives me a dirty look, practically snarling at me, and flounces out of the shop.)

    Next Customer: “What the h*** was that about?”

    Me: “I… I have no idea.”

    (Apparently the woman came back into the shop later in the week when I am not working, did the same long, drawn out process with the £50, requesting a lower price after the transaction has gone through, and then asking for a refund. She also asked after me, ‘the rude girl with the nice hair.’)

    How To Identify The Idiot

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work at the call centre of a theater.)

    Me: “Good morning. You are calling [Theater Name].”

    Caller: “I got an email telling me that I’ve been charged for tickets that I didn’t buy! I want a refund! This is fraud! Someone did ‘identity theft’ to me!”

    Me: “All right. Let me just see in the account. Can you tell me the email address?”

    Caller: “It’s [email address].”

    Me: “Okay. I do see that a purchase matches this email address. Are you Marc?”

    Caller: “No! I want my money back. This is fraud!”

    Me: “However, this seems to be the email of a garage. Do you own a garage? Maybe one of the employees is named Marc and could have used this email address when he made the purchase?”

    Caller: “No this is fraud! I don’t have employees!”

    Me: “Okay, maybe it’s one of your friends? Do you maybe know a ‘Marc’ living in Laval?”

    Caller: “That’s the guy that stole my identity? Do you have his address? Give me his address! I’m gonna go f*** him up!”

    Me: “I can’t do that sir. Even if you don’t know the person who made the purchase, sometimes people make mistakes while entering their email address when they make a purchase online. It happens all the time. Now I can verify that you have actually been charged—”

    Caller: “This is bulls***! My identity was stolen. This is fraud! FRAUD! I’m calling the cops!”

    (He hangs up. Twenty minutes later we get another call.)

    Police: “Hi. This is [Name] from the police department. I’m here with a man that says he was victim of identity theft and fraud from your company?”

    Me: “Actually, he got an email confirmation of a purchase made under someone else’s name. He hung up before I could verify if his credit card was actually charged.”

    Police: “All right. Could you check this with him right now?”

    Me: “Sure. Can I speak with him?”

    Caller: “Yeah?”

    Me: “Like I tried to tell you before you hung up, sir, I can verify if your credit card was actually charged. Could you give me your card number, please?”

    Caller: “I DON’T HAVE A CREDIT CARD!”

    Me: “…”

    Police: “I’ll take it from here. Thank you.” *click*

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 29

    | Tokyo, Japan | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “That will be ¥1260.”

    Customer: *gives a ¥1000 bill*

    Me: “And ¥260 yen more.”

    Customer: “I have only a ¥1000.”

    Me: “Okay. Since you’re short ¥260, shall we put some items away?”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 28
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 27
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 26
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25

    Listening Is Priceless

    , | Sacramento, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (A customer comes in to ask about a large printing order. I inform her that printing her order will take a few hours, but that we could have everything copied by the end of the day. She agrees to place an order with us, as she is in a rush and no other copy center in town could get the prints done in less than seven days.)

    Me: “Do you know approximately how many pages you have here?”

    Customer: “No… Why?”

    Me: “Well, it’s just that the color copies are far more expensive than black and white, and I wanted to give you a quote before we begin. The color ones add up fast!”

    Customer: “No, no. Just go ahead. My boss told me he’s being reimbursed anyway, so it doesn’t matter what it costs.”

    (I’m skeptical, but she insists. As it turns out, ALL of her documents are in color. As she’s printing training manuals and reference books for a group of 26 employees, she ends up with over 8,000 printed pages of color documents.)

    Customer: “And could you assemble them and put them all into binders for me?”

    Me: “We sure can! If you hold on just a moment, I can give you a quote for the entire order, including assemb—”

    Customer: “No. I don’t want a quote. Just go ahead and do everything.”

    Me: “Are you sure? Because you have quite a lot of copies here, and assembly adds an additional fee.”

    Customer: “No quote! I’ll be in to pick these up on Monday!”

    Me: “But they’re $0.49 per page to start, and you’ve got—”

    Customer: “Oh, well! My boss just wants everything done in color, and by Monday.”

    (I go along with what the customer wants, but I’m still pretty certain she’s going to flip out when she sees the total, despite my attempts. Sure enough, Monday morning rolls around and the customer arrives…)

    Me: “Okay! Your total for copies, tabs, binders, assembly, and all comes to approximately $2400 after tax.”

    Customer: “What!? $2000!?”

    Me: *sighs*

    Prices To Put You In The Black

    | Denver, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am working as a barista in the coffee kiosk in the mall. We periodically get people complaining that our prices are higher than in the regular stores. Also, there is an extremely large sign posted on the register stating that we can’t take any bills larger than $20.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, your total is $3.36.”

    Customer: *grumbles* “Your drinks are so expensive!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We’re a franchise run through another company so our prices do average a few cents higher.”

    Customer: *still grumbling, pulls out an $100 bill and shoves it at me*

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we can’t take any bills larger than $20. Do you have another denomination or a card?”

    Customer: *opens wallet, pulls out a black American Express card, and hands it over grumpily while I try not to stare*

    Customer: “YOUR DRINKS ARE SO EXPENSIVE!”


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