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    Category: Money

    A Softened Approach To Mathematics

    | Columbia, SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (I have just finished setting up a display of fabric softener liquid and sheets. A customer approaches me and gestures to the price sign.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but is everything on this display two for $5?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. That sign is for the liquid. The fabric softener sheets are only $1.99.”

    Customer: “But the sign says they are two for $5!”

    Me: “That’s for these items. But the sheets are only—”

    Customer: “That’s what the sign says, and that is the price I want them for.”

    Me: “Let me get this straight. You want me to charge you more for these items?”

    Customer: “No, I want you to give them to me for the price you have advertised them for.”

    (She pauses abruptly, looking down at the phone where she had been fiddling with her calculator app. She realizes her error.)

    Customer: “Oh, I am so embarrassed!”

    Me: “It’s okay! Enjoy your two for $3.98 fabric softener sheets!”

    The Long Line Of The Law

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Money, Top

    (I’m a police officer in full uniform. I stop in a local store and notice a loud customer ahead of me in the line.)

    Cashier: “Sir, you haven’t paid for that. If you leave the store, it’s stealing.”

    Customer: “Bull-s***! You did something with my card; you took my money! I’m leaving with this stuff.”

    Cashier: “No, the order was cancelled for insufficient funds. You left to get another card; the whole order needs to be rescanned.”

    (I realize that the loud customer hasn’t seen me yet. I excuse myself from the line, and move behind the irate customer as he starts mouthing off to the cashier.)

    Me: “Sir, you need to calm down and let the lady do her job. She’s trying to help you as fast as she can.”

    Customer: “Man, f*** you. Who the f*** do you think you—”

    (He turns around to look at me, and immediately goes all sheepish.)

    Customer: “Sorry, officer.”

    Me: “Yeah, I thought so.”

    (The customer calms down, and is out of the store in five minutes. It’s a shame that some people will not act civilly unless they’re given a friendly reminder that there are consequences for acting like a turd.)

    Talking Non-Cents In The Dollar Store

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (It’s a busy Saturday, and both our cash registers are lined up with customers. A woman is stood next to the line-up, clearing her throat and trying to get my attention. She finally shoves her way to the cash, ahead of the line-up.)

    Customer: “I need to return all these stickers. I was charged $7, when they’re only supposed to be $2!”

    (I’d normally send her to the back of the line, but at this point it will be faster just to serve her and get her out of the way.)

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, sometimes when we’re busy a cashier can miss a mistake like that. I just need your receipt.”

    Customer: “I don’t have my receipt! I shouldn’t have to keep my receipt; you made the mistake!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; but I cannot do a return or exchange without a receipt. There has been an issue lately of people trying to return items they didn’t pay for.”

    Customer: “Are you calling me a thief? You charged me $5 extra per sticker, and I bought ten stickers! Give me my money!”

    Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m sorry. I cannot do a return or exchange without a receipt. If you’d like to wait a few minutes, my manager will be back from her break. Honestly, she’s only going to tell you the same thing, however.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous, I’m not waiting around for anyone! You’re wasting my time; now give me my money back! This happens all the time here! You guys didn’t ask for a receipt the last time! I’m a paying customer! I bought a bunch of these stickers before, and the same thing happened!”

    Me: “If this has happened to you with this item before, why didn’t you confirm they were ringing in at the correct price the second time?”

    (The woman turns beet red. Without saying anything, she throws the stack of stickers at me and storms out the door, shoving past people as she goes.)

    Next Customer: “They really need to give you kids hazard pay for this s***.”

    A Good Attitude About A Bad Attitude

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (Our refund policy has a shorter timeframe than most people assume, and they usually don’t read their receipts. A customer walks in carrying a bag with one of our games; she’s on her cell phone.)

    Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I just want to return this. I do not need to be spending $30 on a game right now.”

    (She continues her phone conversation.)

    Me: “Do you have your receipt with you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, it’s in the bag, honey.”

    Me: “Okay, let me just check it.”

    (I see that she’s a couple of days past the refund window.)

    Me: “All right, I can get you a store credit for this.”

    Customer: “What? You mean I can’t get my money back?”

    Me: “It says right here, ‘Last day for refund is [date]’.”

    (She is a little bit shocked, and continues talking on her cell phone.)

    Customer: “They say I can’t return it… I can only get a store credit! I just drove all this way for nothing!”

    (I prepare for her to start yelling at me.)

    Customer: “Oh, I can’t believe this. I need to go. Just put it back in the bag. I need to take my bad attitude out of here!”

    Me: “Um, sorry about that.”

    Customer: “Oh, it’s okay; it’s not you, honey!”

    (She grabs the bag and leaves quickly, still on her cell phone. I turn to my coworker.)

    Me: “I can’t believe she didn’t yell at me! She just recognized that she was upset and left. This has never happened before!”

    Putting The Cuss Into Repercussions

    | Birmingham, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money

    (I overhear an employee and an older customer, who is accompanied by her grandson. She is trying to return an expensive toy.)

    Employee: “I can offer you a replacement or gift voucher, but without the receipt I can’t give you a cash refund.”

    Customer: “No, you’ll give me a refund in cash.”

    Employee: “I can’t do that without the receipt. If the toy is faulty I can replace it for you, or you can choose something else.”

    Customer: “No, you’ll give me £120 in cash, out of the till. End of.”

    Grandson: “Nana, you’re not allowed to say ‘end of’ to people.”

    Customer: “Shush, I’ll say what I like. I’m allowed to say what I like. They just don’t want to give me £120 out of the f****** till.”

    Grandson: “You’re not allowed to say the f-word, Nana!”

    Customer: “Shut up.”

    Employee: “I’m really sorry, but without your receipt I can’t do a cash refund. If you come back with your receipt we’ll be able to give you a refund.”

    Customer: “F*** off!”

    Grandson: *to employee* “I’m sorry my nana said that. She doesn’t know you’re not allowed to say the f-word.”

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