Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,236 thumbs up)
  • Category: Money

    The Road To Hell Is Paved With Detoured Intentions

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Top, Transportation

    (On break, I read on my phone that there has been a horrible truck accident. News reports say traffic will be shut down along that highway for several hours. After break, I am ringing up a customer and notice where she is from.)

    Me: “Just curious, but were you planning on taking the turnpike home?”

    Customer: “Yes, why?”

    Me: “There’s an accident, and it will be shut down for a few hours. You might want to try taking another route.”

    Customer: “What? This is ridiculous. What will you do for me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I’ll have to go out of my way; this will cost gas, and I might be late. You need to compensate me for that! Where’s your manager?”

    Me: “I am the department manager and… no. We won’t compensate you because the turnpike is closed.”

    Customer: “I’ll contact your headquarters! Forget this stuff; I’m not shopping here again!”

    (She storms off before finishing paying. Apparently she did contact our corporate, who were quite confused and wouldn’t give her compensation either.)

    Thinkless And Thankless

    | MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

    (To make it easier to keep track of how long things have been in our store, the date is printed on their tags along with a corresponding color. Right now we’re running a 50% off sale for almost every tag color except two, and there are multiple signs on our walls telling our customers this. A customer walks in briskly and approaches my counter without even looking at me.)

    Customer: “I don’t want to think today. You’re going to tell me the price of things.”

    Me: “Uh… okay?”

    (The customer shoves a coat in my face.)

    Customer: “How much is this?”

    Me: “Well, what does the tag say?”

    Customer: “I don’t want to think!”

    Me: *looks at tag* “Well, it says that it’s $69. It’s also printed on a mint green tag. That means it’s 50% off right now.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to think about it! How much is that?”

    Me: “Well, half of 70 is 35, so it will be about $35.”

    (The customer leaves the coat on my counter, and walks away in a huff. She then brings up another coat.)

    Customer: “How much is this one?”

    Me: “Well, what does that tag say?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! I don’t want to think about it!”

    Me: “The tag says it’s $99, and since it’s an orange tag, there’s no discount on it today.”

    (The customer throws this coat down on top of the other, then proceeds to bring me a third.)

    Customer: “How much is this one?”

    Me: “Well, what does the tag say?”

    Customer: “I already told you that I don’t want to think about it!”

    (She walks out of my store angrily. Meanwhile, one of the regulars who was in the store and witnessed the entire exchange comes up to me.)

    Regular: “Wow. She didn’t even say thank you.”

    A Thick Slice Of Humble Pie, Part 2

    | MO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money

    (I’m working at the cash register of a pizza place. A customer storms in and demands his pizza.)

    Me: “Sorry, sir, it seems I don’t have anything in here by that name or phone number. Are you sure you called the right store?”

    Customer: “YES! The person who took my order refused to honor this coupon, and so I hung up on them!”

    Me: “Well, sir, that’s probably why it isn’t in here. Should I place a new order?”

    Customer: “Fine! But I want it delivered to my house!”

    (The customer proceeds to place the order, as more customers are lining up and watching the spectacle. I read him the final total.)

    Customer: “That’s not the total! What is wrong with you people?! Can’t anyone do math? It says here I get two pizzas for $11.95.”

    Me: “Actually sir, it’s two pizzas for $11.95 each. Do you still want to place the order?”

    (Everyone is watching at this point. The customer throws the coupon at me.)

    Customer: “WHAT DOES THIS SAY?”

    Me: “Two pizzas for $11.95 each, no limit, expires [date].”

    (The customer’s tail is between his legs, and he’s red with embarrassment. With an entire crowd watching, he reluctantly mumbles and pays the bill.)

    Related:
    A Thick Slice Of Humble Pie

    Paying A Hire Price

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Top

    (I’m purchasing something from my workplace, and they happen to give very generous discounts to employees.)

    Manager: “Alright kiddo, that’ll be $5.59.”

    (I pay for my item. The next customer in line happens to be purchasing the same item.)

    Manager: “That’ll be $22.39, please.”

    Customer: “What!? That guy only paid five bucks for his! Why do I have to pay over $20?”

    Manager: “Sir, he works here. He gets an employee discount.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not paying this price! I want to pay what he paid! This is a complete rip-off!”

    Manager: “Alright, when can you start?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Manager: “The discount is for employees only. When can you start? I think I can arrange an interview for you next week.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** would I want to work here? I already have a well-paying job! I don’t want to deal with any stupid customers!”

    Manager: “And that’s why he gets a discount, and you don’t!”

    Being Franc About The Dollar

    | France | Geography, Money, Tourists/Travel

    (It is when the French Franc is still in use. I get called by a cashier who has a problem with American tourists.)

    Tourist: “This woman won’t accept our money!”

    (The tourist is waving about a wad of US dollars.)

    Me: “Well, she can’t, sir, since you’re trying to pay in US dollars.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “Well, you’re in France. We only accept French Francs.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand! All the other third world countries we’ve been to accept dollars.”

    Me: “France isn’t a third world country.”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “There’s a bank right down the street. We’ll hold on to your items until you come back with Francs. Or you can pay with a visa card.”

    Customer: “No, we’re not coming back; you’re not getting our dollars!”

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