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    Category: Money

    Hard Cash That Isn’t Cold

    | Namibia | Money

    (I have just finished withdrawing some money at the ATM. A clearly poor man approaches me from behind. Usually, I would expect someone to come up to me to beg for money.)

    Man: “I do not know how to use the machine. Can you help me?”

    Me: “Sure!”

    (The man hands me his card, and I insert it into the machine.)

    Man: “Can you check how much I have on my account?”

    Me: “Okay. It is asking for your pin.”

    Man: *without even thinking about it* “It is 1234.”

    Me: “It says you have 20 Namibian Dollars.”

    (Note: A loaf of bread cost N$ 5.)

    Man: “I’d like all of it.”

    (I withdraw the money, and give him back his card and the money. He immediately hands me back N$ 10.)

    Man: “This is for you, because you helped me.”

    (I hand it back to him.)

    Me: “Please, keep it!”

    (It is one of the most touching things to ever happen to me.)

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18

    | PA, USA | Money

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]! This is [name] speaking; how can I help you?”

    (I hear an elderly customer, sounding very annoyed.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I want to know the balance in my account.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. If I can just get your social—”

    Customer:“I don’t give my social to anyone!”

    Me: “Okay, that’s fine. I’ll need to get your account number, then.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (He states a number that’s far different from the norm.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, I don’t see that account. Could you repeat that?”

    Customer: “I just gave it to you! It’s [number]!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I don’t see anything in our system.”

    Customer: “What? You had better see something in your system!”

    Me: “There’s nothing here. I could try your social, and see if it will come up then.”

    (He gives me his social.)

    Me: “Hmm. I still don’t see anything here.”

    Customer: “What? How does that happen? Do you have any idea how much money I have there?”

    Me: “I have no idea, sir; nothing is coming up that’s connected to your account number or social.”

    Customer: “Is this [competitor's bank]?”

    Me: “No, sir, it’s [company bank].”

    Customer: *click*

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

    Short-Change Con Falls Short Of Change

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

    (I’m working the register. A customer comes to the register with three ice creams.)

    Me: “So, is this it for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, sir.”

    Me: “Alright your total is $12.75.”

    (The customer hands me a $20 bill. I hand him his change.)

    Customer: “Where’s the rest of my change?”

    Me: “I gave you your change already, sir.”

    Customer: “No, you didn’t! I gave you a $100 bill. You’re shorting me $80!”

    Me: “Sir, I can assure you that you paid with a $20 bill.”

    Customer: “No you can’t, because I paid with a $100 bill! How can they let an incompetent dip-s*** like you handle money? This is a disgrace.”

    Me: “Sir, the only disgrace here is you. For starters, company policy states that we can not accept bills larger than $50. If you did give me a $100 bill, I would refuse it and ask for a smaller bill. On top of all that, the $20 you gave me is still on the counter right next to the register.”

    (The customer goes silent, and quietly exits the store. He has not been seen at our store since.)

    Going From Negative To Positive

    | Cambridge, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Money, Technology

    (A few minutes after opening the doors of the store, a well-groomed older customer enters. He is carrying a remote-controlled car.)

    Older Customer: “I want my money back right now! This car doesn’t work; I’ve tried everything. Give me a refund so I can leave this h*** hole.”

    Me: “Not a problem at all, sir. Let me take a quick look at it to determine the problem. Do you have your receipt?”

    Older Customer: “Who keeps receipts anymore these days? Just give me my money so I can get out of here. I already told you, I tried everything to make this d*** car work. I’m an engineer and you’re just a cashier. I would know better than you!”

    Me: “I understand, sir. It’s company policy that all defective items are inspected in front of the customer before a refund or exchange can take place. Furthermore, I can not complete the refund without your receipt.”

    Older Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! I’m an engineer! I told you it doesn’t work, so it doesn’t f****** work!”

    (While he is ranting, I open the back plate and put in some batteries. The car works perfectly.)

    Older Customer: “How the h*** did you do that?!”

    Me: “I put in brand new batteries, sir. I don’t mean to insult you, but you did put batteries in the car itself, right?”

    Older Customer: “Well, that was rude! And yes, I did put batteries in the car.”

    Me: “And… did you put batteries in the remote as well?”

    Older Customer: “I’ve had about enough of you insulting my intelligence! I’ve been on this planet for 78 God-d*** years; I know how batteries work!”

    Me: “Okay, my apologies. Well, it appears that everything here is working as it should, so there is no need to refund or exchange the unit. If you have any further issues, you’re welcome to exchange it within 30 days with the receipt. By the way, you can keep the batteries for your troubles.”

    Older Customer: “Well, I should say so! You’re d*** lucky I’m not one of those rude customers that demands refunds over something ridiculous.”

    Me: “I’m glad I could resolve the issue for you. Have yourself a nice day.”

    (Several hours later, I get a phone call from a sweet-sounding old man.)

    Older Customer: “Good afternoon, are you the young lady that helped me with the remote control car earlier today?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, how can I help you?”

    Older Customer: “Well, I just wanted to apologize for my outburst in your store today. I understand you were just trying to do your job.”

    Me: “Thank you, sir. I accept your apology.”

    (In the background I hear a woman’s voice; she sounds irritated.)

    Woman: “Keep going, Ron.”

    Older Customer: “Again, I’m very sorry.”

    Woman:Say it! You tell her what you did!”

    Older Customer: “I don’t want to, and you can’t make me!”

    (There’s a loud noise, and some inaudible conversation between the two. Then the woman gets on the phone.)

    Woman: “Hi dear. He wants you to know that he’s thankful for the batteries you gave him, and that the car didn’t work the first time because he put the batteries in backwards.”

    Me: “Well, thank you for the kind phone call and the honesty. You two have a lovely day.”

    (She putters with the phone, trying to find the off button. I hear the old man in the background.)

    Older Customer: “At least you didn’t tell her I wasn’t an engineer.”

    Related:
    Going From Positive To Negative

    No One Benefits From The Benefits Card

    | San Diego, California, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (I’m ringing up a customer at the register. The customer hands me a credit card I don’t recognize.)

    Me: “I’m sorry; but I don’t think we accept this kind of card.”

    Customer: “Of course you do; I’ve used it here before!”

    (I try to run it through, and the register won’t accept the card.)

    Me: “Are you sure you’ve used this one here? The register isn’t taking it.”

    Customer: “Get me the manager!”

    (As I’m calling for a manager, something seems to dawn on the customer as she looks at the card.)

    Customer: “Oh, my God! This is my EBT card!”

    (The customer had tried to use her ‘electronic benefit transfer’ card, which is basically the equivalent of food stamps.)

    Customer: “And I can’t believe you actually tried to use it!”

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