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    Category: Money

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19

    | ME, USA | Money

    (I am helping a customer set up service at a new address for a friend of hers. I have to collect her installation charge, first month, and a deposit upfront.)

    Me: “All right, I just need the total of $123.”

    (The customer hands me a $20 bill and two $10 bills.)

    Customer: “There, that should cover it.”

    Me: “Oh, I only have $40 here, ma’am. I need $123.”

    Customer: “Yep, it should all be there!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; there’s not enough here yet.”

    (The customer digs into her pocket, and hands me some more cash.)

    Me: “Thank you. That’s only $3 more though. I still need $80.”

    Customer: *grunts* “All right, fine, but now I’m giving you my money!

    Me: “Thank you, but now I still only have $46. I still need $77 more.”

    Customer: “Okay, give me all the money back.”

    (I hand the customer the money back, and she takes out a wad of cash. She pulls out three $20 bills, and hands them to me.)

    Customer: “There! Should have it all now!”

    (The customer is beaming with pride at finding what she thinks is the right amount.)

    Me: “You know, I think we can just bill you for the rest of it.”

    Customer: “Gah! Give the money back again!”

    (I hand the money back, and the customer searches around for a moment, and hands me a $100 bill.)

    Me: “Great! I just need $23 more.”

    (The customer hands me a $20 bill, and then stares at me.)

    Me: “Good, just another $3.”

    (The customer hands me three $1 bills again.)

    Me: “Perfect! Here’s your receipt; we’ll see you on Friday!”

    (The customer left, and I searched the office for hidden cameras.)

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

    Unsure How To Insure

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. My name is [name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Ummm, yeah. I rented a trailer from you guys, and got the optional insurance. I didn’t have a wreck or anything. Can I get that money back”?

    Me: “No, ma’am. It is insurance, not a deposit.”

    Customer: “But I didn’t use it.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, you have car insurance, right?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Does your car insurance company refund your premiums if you don’t have a wreck?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “So, you see, it’s insurance in case there is any damage, but it is not refundable.”

    Customer: “Oh, I see. So I can get a refund, right?”

    Suite Deal Turns Sour

    | Tasmania, Australia | Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging, Money, Top

    (Our CEO has just upgraded a guest and her husband from our basic room to our penthouse suites after having lunch with a mutual friend. Our basic rooms go for $150 a night, and the penthouses are $1000 a night. We require the guests to pay for two nights ($300) on check-in. I have just gone through the payment process, and have given the guest information about the hotel and our facilities. The guest’s husband has walked away to collect their bags.)

    Guest: “So is breakfast included in my room cost?”

    Me: “No, it’s not. However the penthouse has full kitchen facilities, so I can direct you to a store down the road if you would prefer to make your own.”

    Guest: “You expect me to pay extra for breakfast?!”

    Me: “Well ma’am, as I said, you do have other options. There are also quite a lot of nice places for breakfast within a five minute walk if you would prefer that.”

    Guest: “You little b****! I’ve already paid a ridiculous amount for this penthouse! You will give me free breakfast, or I’ll get your stupid a** fired.”

    Me: “Ma’am, a two night stay in our penthouses usually costs $2000; you have paid $300. If you would prefer to pay the additional $1700, I will gladly include breakfast in this cost.”

    (The guest starts to yell, calling me nasty names, and threatening to get me fired. When I still don’t give her what she wants, she grabs the room key and storms off. Her husband walks back into reception to see her storming away. The husband looks back to me.)

    Guest’s Husband: *sighs* “She’s done it again, huh?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; what do you mean?”

    Guest’s Husband: “We were upgraded at our last hotel, too. The receptionist there had that exact same look on her face. What did she say to you?”

    Me: “She was unhappy that we charge extra for breakfast.”

    Guest’s Husband: “Don’t worry; we’ll be paying for breakfast. I’m sorry if she was rude.”

    Me: “It’s not a problem at all, sir. I hope you enjoy your stay.”

    (The guest’s husband leaves. About 20 minutes later, both guests come through reception on their way to our restaurant. The husband smiles and waves to me, and, with a pointed look at his wife, continues on his way. The guest stops at the desk, and I prepare myself for another dose of name calling.)

    Guest: “I’m sorry about earlier. My husband says you were very polite to him, even after I was so rude to you.”

    Me: “Not a problem at all, ma’am. I hope you enjoy your stay with us. If you need anything, please just let us know.”

    (The guest nods, and walks away. I don’t see either guest again for the remainder of their stay. On the day they leave, I get a call from my CEO for an urgent meeting. Apparently, the guest felt so bad that she told my boss about what happened. I’ve now been given a raise, and a complimentary stay in the penthouses!)

    Pulling Hair As Well As A Fast One

    , | Raunds, England, UK | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m 10 years old. I am helping my father out at his takeaway, being the ‘cashier’. We are Asian. A white customer in her thirties walks in, and orders some food. I call my dad’s friend to make it, and he does. He brings it out and leaves.)

    Me: “Okay, miss, that will be £30.00.”

    Customer: “What? Oh no, darling; I’m the old owner’s daughter! I get my food for free!”

    Me: “£30.00.”

    Customer: “FREE. Give me my food for free, sweetheart.”

    Me: “Please pay £30.00.”

    Customer: “Dearie, I get it for free. My father—bless him, he’s 60 now—is the owner, and lets me have it for free! Give it to me!”

    Me: “I don’t believe my father is 60; he is only 40. And we are Asian; you are a White person. Now, please pay for your food, or I will be forced to call the police.”

    Customer: “You cheeky lying little brat!”

    (She grabs my hair, and pulls hard.)

    Customer: “Give me my free food now! Or I’ll spank your bum so hard you will die! You’re just a worthless teenager trying to earn money you don’t deserve!”

    Me: “Daddy! Daddy! A lady’s got my hair, and she says you’re her daddy, and, and, gets f-food for free!”

    (My dad runs in.)

    Dad: “Stop! She’s only 10! You’re hurting her! I will call the police!”

    (The customer goes pale, and runs out the door. I’ve not been back there in two years.)

    Good People Are Not Dime A Dozen

    | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Movies & TV, Top

    (I work in my university’s campus shop. I arrive for my shift to find the site in lockdown. There are security guys and people in ‘hi-vis’ jackets everywhere. They check my ID, and let me through, so I think nothing of it. Later that afternoon, one of the ‘hi-vis’ jacketed guys comes to my till with a drink and bar of chocolate. He looks stressed.)

    Customer: “Hey, how much for this?”

    Me: “£1.10″

    (The customer starts rummaging in his pocket.)

    Customer: “Oh for f***’s sake; I’ve gone and left my f****** wallet in the truck. I’ve been here since 4am, and this is the only break I’ll get! I’ve only got a £1 coin. Leave the chocolate; I’ll just have the drink.”

    Me: “Nah, no worries; I’ll spot you the 10p. People leave their change behind all the time.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yeah, positive. You look like you could use it. I hope your day gets a bit better!”

    Customer: “Thanks, love! You put a smile back on my face. Bless you!”

    (A couple of hours later, the same guy comes back in just as I’m closing up.)

    Customer: “Are you closing?”

    Me: “Yes, sorry, the till’s already been shut down.”

    Customer: “Excellent! If you’ve got 10 minutes, go sit on the wall outside there, and keep quiet, okay?”

    (Intrigued, I go sit where he asks, which is just outside the doors of the building. A dark SUV pulls up, and security guards materialise from nowhere and start moving people away. They try to move me on, but the customer tells them that I’m with him, and they leave us be. The next person to come out of the doors is Leonardo di Caprio, who then gets into the SUV. My mouth drops in shock.)

    Customer: “10p for the front-row seat. Can’t say fairer than that, can you?”

    (Some months later, I recognise one of my university’s lecture halls in the movie ‘Inception’!)

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