November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Money

Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 8

| Sharonville, OH, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Money, Transportation

(I work as the manager of a rental car office. It’s a slow day and so when the next customer enters, I take my time describing the extra insurance coverage benefits.)

Customer: “Seriously, do we have to go over all of this?”

Me: “Yes, sir. I want to make sure you are fully informed about what refusing the extra coverage means for you.”

Customer: “Fine, but let’s hurry up. I want to hit the road!”

Me: “No problem, sir. We’ve covered everything and you’ve declined all coverage. Please sign your contract and you are all set!”

(The customer signs and walks out the door. Not two minutes later, he walks back in looking sheepish.)

Me: “Hello, sir, did you forget something?”

Customer: “No, it’s just… Can I go ahead and get the extra insurance?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but why? You were adamant a minute ago that you didn’t want it.”

Customer: “I guess I changed my mind!”

(I walk out of the office and around to the back parking lot. Sitting on top of a decorative rock set to the entrance of the driveway is the car I just rented him – a brand new luxury car, with three of the four wheels hanging in the air.)

Customer: “I think I hit something. So can I get the insurance?”

Me: “Sir, you can’t get insurance AFTER you’ve damaged the car!”

Customer: “Why not?! I didn’t even leave the parking lot!”

(The guy ended up having to pay for the damage to the car, damage to the landscaping, the tow, and the days the car was unavailable for rent.)

Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 7
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 6
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 5

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 45

| Canada | At The Checkout, Money

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to return these pants.”

Me: “No problem. Was there anything wrong with them?”

Customer: “No, they were just the wrong size.”

Me: “Oh, would you like to exchange them for the correct size?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have time today.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I process her return. The lady paid credit, which means that it has to go back on the EXACT same card it was paid with.)

Me: “Okay, so you will get [amount] back onto your credit card. I just need to see it to make sure it matches.”

Customer: “Oh, could you tell me which one it was? I have a few.”

Me: “Sure, it was [last for digits of her credit card number].”

Customer: “Oh.” *pulls out card* “This one is cancelled, I thought I lost it.”

Me: *internal sigh* “Sorry, but I have to put it on the same card or I can give you a store credit.”

Customer: “But the card is DEACTIVATED! You cannot put it back on it! I DEMAND MY MONEY BACK!”

Me: “I know, but I have to give you a store credit…”

(She continues to fuss until my manager comes over and give me clearance to put it on her other card as long as her name matches, which it does.)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

(She then walks over to the table where the pants she just returned style was and proceeds to dig through the stack there. I go over and ask her if she wants a hand as she is destroying our neat pile. I grab her size out and hand it to her to go try on. She asks if she could leave her many bags of popcorn behind the cash desk since she did not want to hold them while she tried them on.)

Me: “Sure, no problem! Just ask for them when you are leaving!”

(At this point her children are running around the store and have dropped their whole bag of popcorn on our floor. My coworker starts to clean it up while I am cleaning up the pants tables. Her child then goes behind our cash desk to grab more popcorn.)

Me: “Hey! You can’t be behind there!”

Customer’s Kid: “This is my popcorn!”

Me: “You cannot be behind there. You need to get out! If you want your popcorn you need to ask your mom if I can get it for you! But you CANNOT be behind there!”

(The kid finally leaves as his mom comes out of the fitting room and goes to the cash desk with her new pair of pants.)

Me: “Oh, do you have the tags?” *note, all tags, price tag, description, size all have been ripped off. NOT how I gave it to her*

Customer: “No…”

Me: *sigh* “Fine, I’ll go grab another pair.” *grabs the top one from the pile*

Customer: “That’s not my size!”

Me: “I know, but I can look up your size in the computer as long as I have the pant style!”

Customer: “OKAY.”

Me: “All right, your total is [Total].” *cheaper then the pair she returned as these went on sale*

Customer: “Oh, could I have another pair?”

Me: *thinking because it’s cheaper she wants two* “Sure!” *gets a new pair* “Okay, so your price is [double].”

Customer: “What? I don’t want both. I just want this one!” *the new one*

Me: “They are the same pair.”

Customer: “Yes, but this one is cleaner!”

Me: “YOU ripped all the tags off in the fitting room!”

Customer: “I want the cleaner pair!”

Me: *just wanting to get rid of her by this point* “Fine! Your total is [total].”

Customer: “On credit.” *holds up same card she got the refund on*

Me: “Okay, insert when ready.” *customer’s card is declined* “Do you have money on the card?

Customer: “Yes, I just did a return.”

Me: “It takes up to three business days for a return on a credit card to process.”

Customer: “Okay, try my other card.”

(I try her other credit card, it declines too. Finally she decides to pay debit, and that declines too!!)

Customer: “Okay, I’ll just come back another day.”

(Needless to say we were all happy when she left.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 43
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 42

Because… Math

| Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

(The prices of the items are posted in huge numbers on the front of the display counter, impossible to miss. Our boneless chicken breasts are usually quite large, a fact which I always point out to people who are not regular customers.)

Customer: “Can I have some boneless breasts?”

Me: “Sure thing! They’re quite large, about a pound each. How many would you like?”

(The breasts are $5.99/lb, I’m trying to prevent sticker shock.)

Customer: “I’ll take six.”

Me: *bags and weighs six chicken breasts* “Okay, it comes to $36.”

Customer: “What?! Why is it so much?”

Me: “Because six times six is thirty-six.”

Exempt From Reality

| CT, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

(I work at a store that has tax-exempt status, and we welcome people to use theirs if their business is as well. We do require an actual copy of the permit as proof, though.)

Me: “All right, the total is $21.27.”

Customer: “$20. I have tax-exempt.”

(Customer hands me a piece of cardboard with the numbers written on it.)

Me: “Sir, I can’t accept this.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Our finance department requires that we submit a copy of the actual permit with the receipt.”

Customer: “Well, it’s at my store!”

Me: “I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do.”

Customer: “You have to keep yours here. How do you people do it?”

Me: “We make a copy of it.”

Customer: “Well… [Similar Store] accepts this!”

Me: “Every store is run differently. We need an actual copy.”

Customer: “Whatever. Just give me my change. I’ll be back tomorrow with a copy and you can give me my $1.27 back.”

Me: “Uh… I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because me just handing you money from the register is illegal.”

Customer: “I’ll be back tomorrow for my money.”

(The manager walks up after he leaves.)

Manager: “You handled that well.”

Me: “What do you want to do if he comes back?”

Manager: “If he actually shows up, I’ll give it to him… all in pennies.”

(The customer never came back.)

E(B)T Phone Home

| USA | At The Checkout, Money

(We have a department that handles people on the Lifeline program, which gives a free phone and minutes to low-income people. Normally I handle the paid customers, but on occasion the free phone people end up in my queue. Shenanigans invariably ensue.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to know if my [Store] Food Card can be used to pay for minutes?”

Me: “Pardon me, your what kind of card?”

Customer: “My [Store] FOOD Card. You know, you get it from the government to pay for food.”

Me: “Oh. Do you mean an EBT card?”

Customer: “Yeah!  My EBT card! I just scan it at [Store] and it pays for my food. Can I get a plan with it?”

Me: “Um, no, sir.”

Customer: “Well, WHY NOT?! It’s a government phone. It’s a government card. Now, you let me pay for my plan!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t. The EBT program is only for food and other edible products, not for telephone plans.”

Customer: “Well, just run it through and see. I bet it takes it.”

Me: “No sir, I can’t do that. Do you have an airtime card, a credit, or debit card? I can use those.”

Customer: “Well, this EBT is a card! Take it!”