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    Category: Money

    Annoyingly Consistent

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am sitting on the registers as the main cashier for the day when an older woman marches up to my counter.)

    Me: “Good morning. How are you today?”

    Customer #1: “I don’t have time for this chit chat. I just want to pay for this jar of coffee and go as I am in a hurry.”

    (I scan the item and tell the customer the price of the item.)

    Me: “That’ll be [total price].”

    Customer #1: “Excuse me? How much?”

    Me: “Um, the total for the jar of coffee is [total price].”

    Customer #1: “That is far too much money; I’ll go choose another one.”

    (The customer storms off leaving the original jar of coffee with me. I put it to the side of my register and serve several other customers during the customer’s absence. Another customer unpacks her groceries onto my till and I greet her.)

    Me: “Hello. How are you?”

    Customer #2: “I am good, thank you. How are you?”

    Me: “I am very good, thanks.”

    (Before I could start to scan Customer #2’s items, Customer #1 returns and slams a jar of coffee onto my register completely cutting in front of Customer #2. I notice the jar of coffee she has now selected is identical to her previous one.)

    Customer #1: “I am next! Not this lady! Now, I want this coffee.”

    Customer #2: “I don’t mind. Let her go first.”

    (Customer #1 looks at Customer #2. Her eyes go wide for a moment. I interject.)

    Me: “This is the same brand and size as the coffee you wanted before.”

    Customer #1: “No, it is not. This one is cheaper than the previous one.”

    (I scan the coffee and sure enough it is the same price as the one earlier.)

    Me: “That’ll be [total price].”

    Customer #1: “See? Much better.”

    (After Customer #1 walks out of the shop Customer #2 begins laughing hysterically.)

    Customer #2: “Sorry. I shouldn’t laugh, but she used to be my mother-in-law before my divorce and I am so glad she is annoying to everyone!”

    Can’t Be Free From Customers Like This

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money

    (I worked at a steakhouse that had a limited time special, clearly marked on banners outside; “Kids eat free on Tuesdays, with the purchase of an adult entree!” Sometimes, it could bring out the worst in people.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. Can I get you started with an appetizer or beer?”

    Customer: *one adult with two kids* “Uh, yes, we would like your ‘kids eat free’ special, please! Both of the kids will have the child’s steak dinner, medium rare, with baked potato, and does it come with soup or salad?”

    Me: “The adult entrees come with soup or salad, so you can share yours with them if you like, or would you like to order an extra for them?”

    Customer: “Oh, I wasn’t going to order anything; I’m not very hungry.”

    Me: “I apologize for the confusion. The ‘kids eat free’ deal is with the purchase of an adult entrée.” *I point to the advert on the table, where it repeats the banner*

    Customer: “This is how you get the customers? You trick us into coming in saying that kids eat free?!”

    Me: “The kids DO get to eat for free. Restaurants would go out of business if they only offered free meals with no purchase required. But with this deal, you save quite a bit! It comes to the equivalent of ‘buy one and get two free.'”

    Customer: “Fine! What is the cheapest adult entree you have? And sodas come with their meals, right?”

    Me: “Yes, they get a child’s souvenir cup with their choice of drink. And the BBQ chicken is our current special for $9.95. It does come with soup, too.”

    Customer: “Child’s cup size? Can we just get it in a larger size so you don’t have to make as many trips?”

    Me: *looking at the three- and four-year-olds* “The adult glasses are fairly large and heavy. For young children we have plastic, non-spill cups.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll have that, and more of your free bread, like, two more loaves for now. And I’ll have a water to drink.”

    (When I bring her the sixth refill on both kid’s drinks and her soup, there are crackers on the dish.)

    Customer: “I didn’t order crackers! Take those off my bill!”

    Me: “Ma’am, like the bread, we don’t charge for crackers.”

    Customer: “Really? They are free? In that case, I’d like more, like, a lot more!”

    (The customer continued that way the entire evening. In the end, after running me ragged with countless refills of the “kids” sodas and anything free, she then emptied out the sugar caddy, stole the condiments from the table, and left EXACT change for the bill. When the manager and I watched her pack the kids in her Porsche Cayenne, we noticed her take out of her HUGE purse a ton of water bottles filled with soda and resealable bags full of loaves and crackers. She later called to complain, saying that the meal was unsatisfactory and she would like an additional dinner for three on us.)

    Wise To The Pennywise

    | Dallas, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money, Top

    (I am a customer waiting in line. There is only one register open, and the woman before me with her five grown children only has five items. The cashier gives the woman her total.)

    Customer: “That’s not right. You didn’t add the coupons.”

    Cashier: “I did, ma’am. They were on [item #1] and [item #2]. The coupons do not apply to already discounted items.”

    Customer: “But it should be less. You’re cheating me out of $1.20!”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, your coupons did apply. You had two of them and they went to the two items not on sale. The other three items were on sale.”

    Customer: “This isn’t fair! You see me with these kids?” *she gestures to her five grown children wandering around the aisle* “I have to feed them tonight! I need that money! You are cheating me!”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, I can go over the receipt with you to show you exactly how the register calculated your total. Or I can return the items if you need the money.”

    Customer: “No! I know I am right!”

    (This goes on for 15 minutes, with the line behind me building. A manager is called up to explain that there was no error, but the customer keeps insisting. The manager tries to get the cashier onto another register to help the line, but the customer is refusing to let anyone leave their spot.)

    Customer: “You’re cheating me out of my money! I should call your head office. You are cheating a poor mother so she can’t feed her kids. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

    Me: *fed up* “Ma’am, if it’s that big of a deal, I’ll give you $1.20 to cover your purchase. In fact, we can start up a collection. Everyone! This poor woman is unable to pay for some of her order, and she needs every penny that she can to feed her kids. Let’s ignore the fact that all of them are holding iPhone 5s and the three young ladies have Coach and Gucci bags that are probably worth more than what any of us make in a month. This woman can’t afford to feed them, and is spending her money on general crafting supplies. Who would like to help me pay for the $1.20 that she can’t cover on her purchase?”

    (The customer starts fuming and stomps off without her items; her wide eyed kids walking behind her in shock. I was called up to the register a moment later.)

    Cashier: “Thank you…”

    Me: “No need. I have dealt with b****es like that for years. I’ve always wanted to do that and not worry about getting fired!”

    Not Quite Free For The Taking

    | SD, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (At the store where I work, you almost always have to buy two of an item to get the sale price. Sometimes we can make an exception if we don’t have two of the sale item in the store, but it’s not very common. A customer comes to my register and sets two things on the counter.)

    Customer: “Can I only buy ONE of these to get the sale price? I only need one!”

    Me: “Well, you’ll probably have to buy both… What’s the sale on them?”

    Customer: “Buy one, get one free.”

    Will Pay For That Later

    | ND, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (I’m making a big coupon trip to a big-box retailer, a really big trip I’ve been planning for the better part of a week. I have a couple hundred items in my cart, and just as many coupons that need to be scanned. As the cashier starts scanning, I let anyone who gets in line behind me know that I have a lot of coupons and that my checkout will take a while so they might want to get in another line. They all decide to go to another line, until…)

    Me: “I’ve got a few hundred coupons that are going to need to be scanned after he’s done ringing up my items.” *waves big stack of coupons* “So this will be a while. You might want to get in another line.”

    Customer: “Don’t tell me what to do. This register has the shortest line. I’m checking out here.”

    Me: “All right, just wanted to let you know the coupons were going to take a bit to scan.”

    (In a few minutes, the cashier has finished ringing up all my items.)

    Cashier: “Your total is $1,760.43.”

    Me: “Okay. Here are my coupons.”

    (The customer behind me groans loudly and mutters something about ‘people who can’t afford to just buy things.’ As the cashier continues to scan my coupons, she gets more pissed off and more impatient.)

    Me: “I’m sorry this is taking so long. This is why I suggested you might want to get in another line.”

    Customer: “YOU should have gotten in another line, you dumb b****! I don’t know who the f*** you coupon b****es think you are, making those of us who work for a living wait for you so you can get 50 cents off your stupid crap. You’re just wasting my time, you stupid b****!”

    (The rant continues while the cashier continues to scan my coupons. The cashier and I just roll our eyes at each other about the woman’s behavior and let her rant at us. Finally, after about 15 minutes, the cashier scans the final coupon and announces my savings.)

    Cashier: “All right, so from $1,760, you’re down to $132.73, and you’ve earned $245 in gift cards. Thank you for shopping at [Store]!”

    Me: “Thank you for your patience. Have a great day!”

    (I grab my bags and start to head out when the woman behind me yells for me. I turn.)

    Customer: “So, do you, like, teach people how to do this?”

    Me: “Yes, I absolutely do, but dumb coupon b****es like me shouldn’t take up the time of people who work for a living like you, so I wouldn’t be able to help you. Enjoy paying for your things!”

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