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    Category: Money

    No Benefit Can Come From This

    | USA | Money, Musical Mayhem

    (A very common occurrence at music/guitar stores, is people buying guitar strings for prison style tattoo guns. While not illegal, it is stupid, and can be dangerous.

    Customer: “Hey man, I need an F string.”

    Me: “E,A,D,G B,E… there isn’t such a thing as an F string.”

    Customer: “Oh, I need… uhm… the smallest one.”

    Me: “Is it for tattooing?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Man, it’s not illegal, but steel strings can contain residual nickel content from manufacturing. If the person you use it on is allergic to nickel—which is common—they will have a horrible reaction. Go to a smoke shop; they have needles there.”

    (The customer leaves for 20 minutes, and then comes back in.)

    Customer: “I need that string.”

    (I direct him to the counter where strings are sold. My coworker rings him up. He leaves again without the string. I speak to my coworker.)

    Me: “What happened?”

    Coworker: “The card the customer presented for the $0.85 transaction was declined.”

    (A few minutes pass. An angry young woman storms in.)

    Woman: “I demand to see the manager! My boyfriend used my state benefits card to try and buy a guitar string!”

    (I can guess what has happened. The state had to freeze her benefits card, since it was used to try and buy something other than food.)

    Woman: “You froze my card; how the f*** am I supposed to buy milk for my d*** baby?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, we don’t have the authority to freeze your card.”

    Woman: “My boyfriend used it here, and you declined him! Now my f****** card won’t work at all!”

    Manager: “Again, we can’t freeze your card. The state probably flagged it for misuse.”

    Woman: “I can’t even buy f****** gas to get home, because I need f****** milk for my d*** baby! How am I going to f****** get home?”

    Manager: “That’s not our responsibility, and I have to ask you to stop cursing in front of my other customers.”

    (The woman immediately turns demure.)

    Woman: “I’m sorry; I just can’t afford gas and milk.”

    Manager: “But the guitar string was a necessity?”

    Woman: “No, I guess not.”

    (She leaves. I almost wanted to feel sorry for her, but it was impossible, given her terrible attitude and misuse of the system.)

    Pumped Up About Not Pumping Up

    | TN, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (A customer is yelling and swearing at the new cashier, insisting that the amount of gas he put in his car wasn’t the amount he was charged. The cashier is getting a little frazzled.)

    Me: “Hey, what’s wrong?”

    Customer: “This d*** store gave me less gas than I paid for! The pump is wrong!”

    Me: “So, wait. You mean that you bought a pre-set amount of gas, pumped it, and you think the pump gave you the wrong amount?”

    Customer: “Yes! My tank should be full, and it’s not!”

    Me: “Sir, those gas pumps are federally regulated. I happen to know—for a fact—that you actually get slightly more than you pay for, just so this sort of thing doesn’t happen.”

    Customer: “That’s stupid; this is none of your business, b****!”

    (He turns to the cashier.)

    Customer: “I want to speak to your manager!”

    Cashier: “Sir, he’s in Puerto Rico.”

    Customer: “Well, I need to talk to him now!”

    Cashier: “From Puerto Rico?”

    Customer: “Yes, you d*** b****!”

    Me: “[Cashier's name], don’t call him.”

    Customer: “What the h*** do you think you’re doing? I said call him!”

    Me: “Well, sir, She could call him. But I really doubt he’d be willing to help you after you cussed out his employee and his daughter.”

    (The customer storms out and returns a few minutes later. I’m about to threaten to call the police, when he passes the cashier a £20 bill.)

    Customer: “I, uh, forgot to pump it, sorry.”

    Currently, They Cannot See Currency, Part 2

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (One of our self-serve machines is currently unable to accept or dispense any cash. There are four signs on the machine stating this. We have four other machines that are working fine and can accept cash. A customer walks straight up to the machine with signs on it, ignoring the four other vacant machines.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am; I am just letting you know that these machines are EFT only. They can’t accept cash.”

    (The customer brushes me off.)

    Customer: “Yes, yes, whatever.”

    (At the end of her transaction, she yells at me to attend to her.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Where do you put the coins?”

    Me: “This machine is EFT only. It is unable to accept cash.”

    Customer: “Yes, but where do I put the coins?”

    (I talk a little bit slower.)

    Me: “This machine can not accept cash.”

    Customer: “So where do I put the coins?”

    Me: “Would you like me to move you to another machine, as this one will not take any cash?”

    Customer: “No, it’s fine. I’ll pay with my card. You really should put signs up, or tell people they can’t pay with cash though.”

    (I looks at the four signs individually, and then back to the customer.)

    Me: “You’re right. Signs on the machine might help. Or I should start telling customers when they walk up to the machine.”

    Customer: “Yes you should! It would have saved me a lot of time and hassle!”

    Related:
    Currently, They Cannot See Currency

    Not Behaving Like An Adult

    | Pine Grove, PA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money

    (I have just checked a guest in at a discounted rate. After 20 minutes, the guest calls me at the front desk.)

    Guest: “You’ve charged me $199! You said my rate was $109!”

    Me: “Okay, sir, let me bring up your reservation to make sure I didn’t make a mistake.”

    (The guest grunts, but lets me check.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks like I didn’t make a mistake. You will see an authorization for $136.36 until your card is actually charged. We authorize for more just in case you have any incidentals at the end of your stay.”

    Guest: “Listen to what I’m telling you; I’ve been overcharged!”

    Me: “Please come to the front desk so I can see your receipt.”

    (The guest comes down, and slams a receipt on the desk that doesn’t look anything like what we give out.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this receipt is for [Adult Store]. You must have gotten the receipts mixed up. Here is a new one for your stay here; have a great night!”

    Lying Is All Relative(s)

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

    (I am working in my father’s cafe. A customer orders a substantial amount of food.)

    Me: “Okay. That will be $36.19 please.”

    Customer: “Oh, no. I’m the owner’s brother, so I get all of my food half price.”

    Me: “Um, okay. That will still be $36.19, sir.”

    Customer: “Excuse me! Do you know who I am!? Now ring my order up right, or I’ll get your purple-haired a** fired!”

    Me: “Okay, give me moment.”

    (I turn around to the grill line, where my father is cooking.)

    Me: “Hey, daddy! This guy says he’s my uncle, and if I don’t give him a discount you’ll fire my purple-haired a**. What should I do?”

    (I have never seen someone run out of a restaurant so fast in my life!)


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