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    Category: Money

    Doesn’t Have The Math Jeans

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (A customer is trying to exchange a pair of jeans. My coworker notices he will be getting some money back.)

    Coworker: “Sir, this pair of jeans is less than the pair you bought earlier, so I will give you the cash back.”

    Customer: “That’s it! Give me my d*** pants back! I don’t want to deal with this s*** anymore!”

    (My coworker looks stunned at the guy’s outburst.)

    Coworker: “But sir, you’ll be getting money back!”

    Customer: “I don’t care! Just give me my d*** pants back! Or explain it to me; I don’t understand this!”

    Coworker: “Well sir, this pair—”

    Customer: “Just give me the d*** pants! You guys always do s*** like this; you just lost a good customer!”

    (The customer grabs the pants and storms towards the doors. As he leaves, a second customer stars applauding, and yells after him.)

    Customer #2: “Sure doesn’t sound like it!”

    The Cake Buyer Is A Lie

    | MI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I work in the deli right beside the bakery. I witness an exchange between a customer and the bakery supervisor.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I need to pick up a cake order. It should be under [name].”

    Supervisor: “Sure, let me go get it.”

    (She goes into the cooler to retrieve the cake, and brings it out to the customer.)

    Supervisor: “Okay, ma’am. Here it is.”

    Customer: “Oh, by the way, I already paid for the cake when I ordered it. So I can just walk out with it, right?”

    Supervisor: “Well, I don’t see a receipt with your order slip ma’am. Do you happen to have one with you? We usually ask for the receipt to be returned to us so that we know you paid for it.”

    Customer: “No! No one told me that I had to do that! But I already paid for it!”

    Supervisor: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but everyone who works here knows that we always ask for a receipt to be returned to us. If you don’t have a receipt, I’m afraid you’re going to have to pay for this now.”

    Customer: “I told you that I already paid for this cake!”

    (The customer waves a slip of paper in the air.)

    Customer: “I HAVE THIS! I HAVE THIS!”

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, that paper you’re waving around just means we took your order. It does not mean that you paid for it.”

    Customer: “I HAVE THIS! I HAVE THIS! IT SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH!”

    Supervisor: “That slip of paper just means you placed an order with us. It doesn’t prove that you already paid for your cake. Anyone who places an order with us could bring that slip of paper back, lie and say they already paid for their order. I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing, but I can’t just let you leave with this cake without proof of purchasing it.”

    Customer: *leaves in a huff without the cake*

    Related:
    The Cake Is A Lie, Part 4
    The Cake Is A Lie, Part 3
    The Cake Is A Lie, Part 2

    Poor Memory

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Books & Reading, Money, Top

    (We are having a book drive for a local school that has had a terrible fire, causing it to lose its entire library. When customers come up, we are allowed to tell them about the drive and ask if they would like to donate. If not, it is okay, but we ask just the same.)

    Me: “Would you like to donate a book to the St. [Name] book drive?” *I clearly explain their situation*

    Customer: “No, I don’t give money to poor people. If they want money, they have to work for it like the rest of us. I don’t like lazy layabouts.”

    (I am about to remind the customer that it was a fire, when the customer’s husband interjects.)

    Customer’s Husband: “Do you really feel that way, dear? I wonder if you felt this way 27 years ago when we had an infant, no jobs, no money, and had to ask my parents for an allowance so we could live. Now that we have money in the bank, a Volvo in the driveway, and a designer handbag on your arm, suddenly we are too good to help others?”

    (The husband then turns to me.)

    Customer’s Husband: “Are these the books you are selling?”

    (The husband indicates a pile we have beside the register. I nod, dumbfounded.)

    Customer’s Husband: “We will take them all.”

    His Psychotic Two Cents

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    (Two customers—who seems to be friends—are checking out a few small items. Customer #1 has already paid and is waiting while Customer #2 pays.)

    Cashier: “That’ll be $11.97.”

    Customer #1: “Ooh, you get pennies!”

    Customer #2: “Oh, I love pennies!” *suddenly very serious and angry* “Unless they’re Canadian! God help him if he gives me Canadian!”

    (Customer #2 is cheerful again, smiles at cashier as he gives her the three pennies.)

    Cashier: *nervously* “Have a nice day…?”

    Customer #2: *cheerful* “You too!”

    Got To Give That Customer Credit

    | Peoria, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Money, Top

    (I am a first-time customer at this salon. According to my stylist, they’ve recently installed a new computer system, which is giving them fits. It will not process credit card payments. The stylist has to call the card in, a process that takes about five minutes. An older woman walks in, looking to buy some hair products. My chair is fairly close to the register.)

    Stylist: *to the other customer* “Okay, so our register isn’t taking credit cards right now. I’ll have to call your card in. It’ll just be a minute.”

    Customer: “Oh, this is ridiculous!”

    (The customer stands there, rolling her eyes and sighing loudly while the stylist attempts to run her card via the phone.)

    Stylist: “Ah, this isn’t working again!”

    (My stylist walks over and attempts to run the card with no luck. Meanwhile, the customer is rolling her eyes, sighing, tapping her toes, and making comments under her breath. My stylist comes back to me and resumes work on my hair.)

    My Stylist: “I’m sorry about this!”

    Me: “Hey, no worries. Y’all can’t control the computer, right?”

    My Stylist: “It’s been doing this all day! It’s so ridiculous.”

    (I speak loud enough for the customer to hear.)

    Me: “It is what it is. If the computer decides to act up, it’s not the employee’s fault. Rolling your eyes and being impatient won’t fix anything! I work at [bank], and I have customers who act like that when my computer is slow. Acting like a spoiled child won’t make the computer go any faster!”

    (The customer scowls at me, and I smile back at her.)

    Me: “I’ve worked a lot of retail jobs. It’s not the employee’s fault!”

    (The customer quickly pulls $20 out of her wallet, hands it to the stylist, and slinks out of the salon.)

    My Stylist: *laughing* “I think she heard you.”

    Me: “That was the idea! I have a credit card too, so I’d like to apologize in advance…”

    (The stylist encounters the same problem with my card. After fighting with the system for 15 minutes, she declares that my haircut is ‘free today’. And my hair looked fabulous. I’ll definitely be back!)


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