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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Money

    Blind To Change

    | Charleston, SC, USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (Part of my job as a hostess is to stand out front and try to convince tourists to eat at our restaurant. Most nights a server or two will hang out there with me. Across the street we have metered parking, but that’s free after 6pm. A server and I are watching a man put change in the meter at 8pm.)

    Server: “Sir! You don’t need to feed that; it’s free after six.”

    Patron: “You don’t know that.”

    Server: “Well, yes sir, I do. You don’t need to bother with that anymore.”

    Patron: “No! I have to go to dinner, so I’m sure to be gone for the next hour and a half! I don’t want a ticket!”

    (The server gives up.)

    Server: “Understandable. Have a good meal, sir.”

    (About two hours later, rotation has me standing back outside. This time I’m alone. The same man returns to his car.)

    Patron: “I just found out there was no need for me to pay this meter after six. That would have been nice to know two hours ago!”

    Me: “Sir, I was outside when my coworker told you there was no need to feed the meter.”

    Patron: “That’s just not true. I wouldn’t have paid if someone told me not to. You should really inform people of that.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. Have a good night.”

    Patron: “Would’ve been better if I hadn’t stuffed all my change into this stupid meter!”

    Looking For A Stuffed Cash Cow

    | Canada | Liars & Scammers, Money

    (In order to drive business to our photography studio, we leave out stuffed animals for customers to ‘find’ and return in exchange for a free session and picture. The animals come with a silly poem with directions on where to go to collect their prize. A customer comes in, and places one of our toys on the counter.)

    Customer: “I found your toy.”

    Me: “Great! You’ve won a prize! You’ve won a free picture plus sitting!”

    Customer: “What? You mean there’s no cash?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I found your toy. I was under the impression there would be a reward.”

    Me: “Erm… yes. The sitting and picture is the reward.”

    Customer: “Well, I want CASH!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; we’re not allowed to offer cash prizes.”

    Customer: “Well I don’t have to take this! I brought your toy back, and you won’t pay me for it! You do it every other time! I can’t believe you won’t do it now! I’m calling your manager to complain!”

    Me: “Well, I am the manager, ma’am. I’m quite certain I’ve never handed out a cash prize for this game.”

    (The customer is now red faced and even angrier.)

    Customer: “How rude of you! I’m calling your company to complain and get my cash!”

    (The customer then shoves the toy across the counter, pauses to take the number for customer services, and storms out.)

    How To Keep Your Days From Drag(ging)-On

    | FL, USA | Bizarre, Money

    (I’m working at my teller window when a client with a bandaged hand comes up with a deposit.)

    Me: “Hello! Welcome to [bank]. I see that you hurt your hand; were you fighting with a dragon?”

    Client: “Yes, and it won.”

    Me: “Was it a big dragon?”

    Client: “No, it was a little one. But he didn’t play fair. He used fire!”

    Me: “Oh, no! Well, better luck to you next time. Here’s your receipt. Have a wonderful day!”

    Client: “You too! Thanks!” *walks out the door*

    (My boss, who has been standing behind me the whole time, finally speaks up.)

    Boss: “That was not normal…”

    How To Disarm Volatile Customers

    | USA | At The Checkout, Military, Money, Top

    (I work at a clothing department store. We don’t offer a discount to our military, but we do have deals going on all the time. I overhear a customer speaking as if he has a military background. He eventually comes up to the counter.)

    Me: “Hi, I couldn’t help but overhear, but what branch are you?”

    Military Customer: “Oh, I am in [legitimate military branch]. I did a tour of Iraq for a while.”

    Me: “In that case, I can see that you forgot your coupon! That’s not a problem; we’ll take 30% off for you!”

    (The next customer behind him starts yelling.)

    Next Customer: “I don’t have my 50% coupon!”

    (I ignore her, and finished the soldier’s purchases.)

    Next Customer: “I deserve my 50% off!”

    Me: “Ma’am, our store has never had a coupon that goes over 30%.”

    (The next customer begins to yell.)

    Next Customer: “You gave that discount to him! Why can’t I get the discount?”

    (The military customer calmly walks over, and takes off his left arm. The next customer’s eyes get really large.)

    Military Customer: “Don’t worry, the 50% discount only costs an arm and a leg; give or take a bit.”

    (The next customer flees without buying anything. Thank you to all of our military, and especially the ones with great humor!)

    No Insight To Get The Right Site

    | Australia | Extra Stupid, Money

    (The company I work for has a competitor with a similar name.)

    Me: “Welcome to [my company], this is [name].”

    Caller: “Yeah, hi, I need you to cancel my automatic billing.”

    Me: “Well, sir, for security reasons we don’t store your payment information, so we don’t do automatic billing. Are you sure the charge is from us? What does it say on your statement?”

    Caller: “It says [competitor name].”

    Me: “I see. I’m sorry, sir, but that is a different company. You have called [my company]. You will need to call [competitor] if you want to cancel your automatic billing.”

    Caller: “But on the site it says to call this number for assistance!”

    Me: “Yes, on our site, it does. But you are not a customer of our site. You need to go to [competitor]‘s site to contact them, or I can give you their number.”

    Caller: “Look, I just want to cancel my automatic billing!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I understand, but we are a completely separate company. [Competitor] is not associated with us in any way. You will need to call them if you need help.”

    Caller: “Why won’t you help me? Just cancel my automatic billing!”

    Me: “Sir, the only help I can offer you is to give you [competitor]‘s phone number so you can call them. I can’t cancel your account with us, as you are not a customer.”

    Caller: “I got the number off the site! It’s the number I called! Why won’t you help me?”

    Me: “Sir, as I already explained, you are looking at the wrong site. You will need to visit [competitor]‘s site, or I can give you their number. We are not associated with them at all.”

    Caller: “Fine, I’ll just dispute the payment! I’ll get you shut down!”


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