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    Category: Money

    Pray For Her Math Students

    | Asheville, NC, USA | Books & Reading, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (As the manager of a large bookstore, part of my job is to call customers who have written bad checks to arrange payment. I call one such customer. I identify myself and verify that I am speaking to the check-writer.)

    Me: “I’m calling in regard to a check you wrote for $534 on [date]. It has been returned for insufficient funds, so we’ll need you to come by—”

    Customer: “Oh my God! I can’t believe you’re calling me about this! I gave you the books back!”

    Me: “I’m sorry? You gave them back? Did you speak to anyone?”

    Customer: “Of course! I gave them to the cashier and filled out paperwork!”

    (On a hunch, I search the returns for her name. She did return the books, and got a cash refund.)

    Me: “Okay, I see you brought them back on [date] and got a cash refund. Is that right?”

    Customer: “Yes! And you should be fired for calling me at home for no reason!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you still have to pay for the bounced check.”

    Customer: “What? I don’t have the books! I am not paying for books I don’t have!”

    Me: “You wrote a bad check for merchandise, then returned the merchandise for cash. But the check is still worthless and has to be paid.”

    Customer: “What kind of idiot are you? Listen carefully: I. Do. Not. Have. Your. Books. I gave them back and that’s the end of it.”

    Me: “I’m afraid it doesn’t matter whether you have the books or not. Now, instead of books, you have our money and we still have a worthless check. You really need to take care of this, or it will be a police matter. I’m sure you don’t want me to go to the magistrate.”

    Customer: “Are you calling me a thief?! If you turn me into the police, I’ll have YOU arrested for false reports! I’ll have your job for this! I am a school teacher! I teach math!”

    Me: “Ma’am. I need you to follow along here. You wrote a bad check for merchandise, and then returned that merchandise for cash. That is fraud, and it is in an amount that can get you in serious trouble.”

    (The customer screams about how I am trying to rob her of money, then hangs up. I phone back a few days later to give her another chance. Still furious, she sticks to her guns. I try my best but she just won’t listen or try to understand. After sending her several certified demand letters, I have no choice but to file a criminal complaint. Being over $400 it is a felony fraud charge. Not long afterward I get a final phone call from her.)

    Customer: “ARE YOU THE B**** WHO SENT THE POLICE TO MY SCHOOL?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I had to turn your NSF check over for prosecution because you refused to pay. I gave you many chances to avoid that.”

    Customer: “I MIGHT LOSE MY JOB! I have never been so humiliated! I’m going to sue you and your company for this! You are going to jail for what you’re doing to me!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I’ve tried everything to make you understand, so do what you think you need to do.”

    (Ultimately, she was found guilty and told to pay the check and fee, plus court costs. Even when the magistrate explained it to her, she refused to believe that she owed the money.)

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 23

    | The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Money

    Customer: “I have a direct debit, but now you’re charging me extra costs. Why? You can just take the money from my account!”

    Me: “Well we tried twice, but the bank refused the payment. That’s why we sent you two reminders before adding the costs. Did you receive the letters?”

    Customer: “Probably, but I never read your mail because I have a direct debit.”

    Me: “But how are we supposed to let you know something is wrong if you don’t open the mail? We’re not sending you spam; we’re sending you a legitimate message.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but as I said I don’t read them. So, now I feel I don’t have to pay the costs, because I didn’t know the payment failed.”

    Me: “But we told you in the letters that the payment failed. Twice.”

    Customer: “I DON’T READ THEM. You should have let me know!”

    Me: “We did! How else were you expecting to receive our notices?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! I just think the costs shouldn’t be charged.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the costs are correct. You just told me that you received our letters, but you don’t read them. We let you know that the bill wasn’t paid and stated in our letters when the payment was due to prevent the costs. I am fully willing to discuss payment, but you will have to pay the costs.”

    Customer: “I am not happy about this. I was expecting more from you.”

    Me: “More? What were you expecting besides two letters?”

    Customer: “I don’t know. Just… more…”

    (The customer did end up paying the costs. I’m still wondering to this day what kind of ‘more’ he expected from us.)

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

    Failed The Balancing Act

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (I am working at a busy café, serving a customer who is busy gossiping with her friend.)

    Me: “So, your total comes to $4.95.”

    (The customer hands me her pre-loaded store card without saying a word. I swipe for payment.)

    Me: “Oh, it looks like your balance is reduced to zero now. You just owe $0.35.”

    Customer: “YOU USED THE CARD?!”

    Me: “Yes, you gave it to me.”

    Customer: “Oh my God! I just wanted the balance!”

    Me: “Okay, well you should say that when you hand me the card after I ask you for payment.”

    Customer: “UGH! Like… I have change!”

    Me: “Okay, I’m sorry that you weren’t aware.”

    Customer: “Just give me the d*** balance!”

    Me: “You have no money on the card. I told you your total. You gave me your card without saying anything. And so I used it. And now there is no money on it. And you still owe me $0.35.”

    (The customer gets red-faced, pays the remainder, and still tries to act cool leaving.)

    Made A Good Call

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Money, Technology, Top

    (I’m a cashier, but we have the phones by us and answer all calls. A woman calls and is frantic; she’s lost her iPhone and explains what it looks like. It’s slow, so I go and hunt for it. I find it and call her back.)

    Me: “Hi, it’s [My Name] from [Store]. I found your phone and have it with me up at the registers. Whenever you’d like to come in and pick it up will be fine.”

    Customer: “Oh, my God! Thank you, thank you! I’ll be in soon to grab it!”

    (About 20 minutes later, a customer comes in and approaches me.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m the lady who lost her phone. Pink case, with white polka dots.”

    Me: “Yep, I’ve got it right here. It wasn’t any trouble really.”

    Customer: “You’re the one who went and found it right? Thank you so much! Here take this!”

    (She proceeds to put some money in my hand. I stammer and shake my head, but she insists.)

    Customer: “I would’ve had to pay a lot more to replace the phone, and you were kind enough to find it and hold it for a klutz like me. I insist you take this and buy yourself something nice!”

    (The customer then left, leaving me with a $40 tip that I used to buy sushi for my boyfriend and me!)

    Doesn’t Read Sign Language

    | AK, USA | Language & Words, Money

    (It’s my first day in a small drive through coffee shop; another employee is also working. A customer drives up and orders two drinks, which are promptly made. When I give her the total, she tries to hand me a card. We only take cash, and have three signs placed on and around the window saying so.)

    Me: “I’m sorry; we only take cash.”

    Customer: “You didn’t tell me that! I don’t have any cash!”

    (My coworker steps in.)

    Coworker: “There is an ATM located behind you at the liquor store, and one at the gas station two buildings down. We will be happy to keep your drinks warm, until you return.”

    (The customer glares at us and zooms away. I’m pretty sure that she’s not going to be coming back. About 20 minutes later though, she zooms back up at my coworkers window.)

    Customer: “Can I have my drinks now?”

    Coworker: “That will be $8.25.”

    Customer: “You know, you should tell people that you only take cash!”

    Coworker: “Actually, we have three signs around the window, if you’ll notice.”

    Customer: “Well, people won’t notice a sign; you need to tell them!”

    Coworker: “Here is your change; thank you.”

    Customer: “What is your manager’s phone number? I’m going to tell them about this!”

    Coworker: “It’s right here on this sign.”

    (My coworker points a sign next to the big ‘Only Cash’ sign. I’ve been finishing an order right next to my coworker, and the customer turns to me.)

    Customer: “You wipe that smile off your face! You think this is so funny, don’t you!? Well, I’m going to tell your manager!”

    (Later, the owner calls to have us listen to the lady’s voicemail. She basically blows the entire situation up, saying that we had been really rude, and that I had been… laughing manically. Yes, “manically.”)

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