Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,149 thumbs up)
  • Category: Money

    To Their Credit, Cashiers Are Not Psychic

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (I’m working at one of the express lanes in a big-box retailer. A woman and her husband approach with a full cart but since it is a slow night, I agree to take them. I scan everything they have, and the couple is overly chipper and pleasant until it comes time to pay.)

    Me: “Alright, you’re all set! It’ll be [price].”

    (The customer holds out her card.)

    Me: “Oh! Sorry, go ahead and swipe your card right here.”

    (I tap the credit card machine.)

    Customer: “Sheesh! Sorry! It’s been a long day! It’s going to be credit.”

    (The customer slides the card through.)

    Me: “Alright, then just hit cancel, and select credit.”

    (I hit the credit key on my side when she agrees to the amount and selects credit. She signs and then hits ‘OK.’ The receipt prints and I hand it to her.)

    Me: “Here you go! Have a nice night!”

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Me: “Your receipt?”
    Customer: “Why are you giving me the receipt?! I wanted to pay a different way too!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, if you had informed me prior to sliding your card I could have processed it but—”

    (The customer slams her hands on the counter.)

    Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me that in the first place!? Now I’m overdrawn!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I really am. I understand the problem but there’s nothing I can do. If I had known before hand I would have told you but you didn’t tell me you wanted to pay using more than one method.”

    Customer: “You should have known!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you can take your receipt to customer service and they can reverse the charge. I don’t know if it will help but the money will go back in a few days.”

    Customer: “This is stupid! You people need to anticipate our needs!”

    (The customer grabs the receipt and storms off towards customer services. Her husband just rolls his eyes at her and trails along with the cart. She demands that we pay her overdraft fees, throws a huge fit, and has to be dragged out by her husband!)

    Tip Top Service

    , | Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (Our card readers are set up to offer an option to add a tip to the total. This isn’t typical for card readers in our location, and it gives some customers a lot of problems, especially if they need reading glasses or don’t look at the screen.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, I just need to you to follow the instructions on the card reader now while it asks a few questions. The green button is yes, and the yellow button is no.”

    Customer: “Fine, fine, okay.”

    Me: “So, first it just asks if that’s the correct total, then it’ll give an option to add a tip if you’d like. Just press the yellow button if you’d prefer to skip it.”

    (I don’t usually spell it out quite this much, but I have the feeling that this man isn’t really listening.)

    Customer: “Yeah, fine, fine.”

    (The customer presses the buttons worryingly fast, then swears.)

    Customer: “Hey, why is it asking for my PIN again? I just entered that! Stupid machine.”

    Me: “Oh dear, I’m sorry but I think you may have entered your PIN as a tip. I’d better cancel the transaction to make sure it—”

    Customer: “No, no, it’s fine. I didn’t put in a tip.”

    Me: “Are you sure you definitely pressed ‘no’? The only way it’d ask for your PIN again is if the first time was the tip prompt, not the PIN prompt. It’s easily done. It’s happened before—”

    Customer: “Are you calling me stupid? Are you trying to suggest I can’t follow simple instructions? I’m a high-level manager at [Department Store Chain]. Do you think I can’t work a simple machine?”

    Me: “Really sir, I think it would be safer if I redo the transaction just in case.”

    (The customer sighs theatrically.)

    Customer: “Fine, then, just to prove to you that I’m not a moron.”

    (I cancel the transaction and the receipts print out. I see a tip had been added, and I only have to glance at the first digit to see that it could not have been intentional. I quickly hand the receipt over to protect the customer’s PIN privacy, without looking at the full number.)

    Me: “Here’s the cancellation receipts, sir, and I’m giving you both copies so that you can keep your PIN private.”

    (The customer takes the receipts and his eyes go wide. He seems to swell up, and for a moment I think he’s going to start screaming at me, before he suddenly deflates.)

    Customer: “Oh god, I’m so sorry. Thank you, you just saved me from a serious talking-to by accounts.”

    Me: “I’m sure your credit card company wouldn’t have authorised it anyway, sir, so it would’ve been fine. As I said, don’t worry. It’s happened before.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand. This company card has a £15,000 credit limit.”

    (I’m still not sure if the credit card would have authorised that size of transaction, but we still joke about the ’1000 per cent tip.’ Just for comparison, that first digit was a 6…)

    Giving You Hell(sinki)

    | London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Language & Words, Money

    (I work in retail, but my shift is over and I am sitting at a café near my work place reading a newspaper. A regular customer of my store, who is always rude and demanding, approaches me. It should be very clear to anyone that I’m not working at the moment, but it doesn’t seem to bother her at all.)

    Customer: “I’ve been meaning to ask about your name. Why do you have such an unusual name?”

    Me: “It’s a Finnish name.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “Finland, the country.”

    Customer: “Why would you have a Finnish name? Were your parents hippies or something? No wonder you can’t get ahead in life.”

    (I ignore the insult, since I’ve seen her throw tantrums from the smallest provocation.)

    Me: “My parents are Finns, as am I.”

    Customer: “You are not from Finland! You don’t have an accent and you don’t look foreign!”

    Me: “Well thank you, but I really am from Finland.”

    Customer: “I should have known! You’re here to leech off our welfare!”

    Me: “You’ve seen me working, right?”

    Customer: “So what? Why would you come here if not for the benefits?!”

    Me: “Not that it’s any of your business, but my whole family is living here for a year because of my father’s work. My father wanted that I and my brother come along, even though we haven’t lived with our parents for a few years now. He just wanted us to have the experience and to be near us. He pays for our rent and expenses, but my brother and I decided to get jobs because we know that he is really stretching his funds to make this happen.”

    Customer: “A simple question, how much do you get in government hand outs in a month?”

    Me: “I haven’t asked for or received a single penny from the British government. And furthermore, if I wanted to live on benefits I would have been better off staying in Finland.”

    Customer: “Liar! Finland is a third world communist country and you are all too lazy to do anything about it. You should be trying to better yourself in your homeland, to help it out of the hole it has gotten itself into, not run away to live on OUR money! That’s why you are here, I know it! I am the customer! I’m coming to call your shop tomorrow to make a complaint about you!”

    (I want to avoid her coming to the store to complain, because no one wants to deal with her rage fits.)

    Me: “Okay, you are right. I’m here to take your tax money and jobs as well. I’m sorry about that, but you know how things are in Finland. We would have starved over there, or we might have been put into prison for our anti-communist views.”

    Customer: “Well, I guess it’s understandable in some cases. At least you had the decency to learn our language!”

    (She suddenly cheered up and offered to buy me coffee. I declined because I couldn’t think of a more hellish situation than having coffee with her. After that, she always asked for the foreign boy, meaning me, when she came to the store. She was still the rudest and most demanding customer. Lucky me.)

    Banking Is A Whole Different Animal

    | MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Pets & Animals

    (My coworker takes a phone call.)

    Coworker: “This is [Veterinarian]. Can I help you?”

    Caller: “This is [Name]. My account number is [number]. I got an insufficient funds notice and I know I have enough in that account. You need to fix this!”

    Coworker: “Sir, this is not a bank.”

    Caller: “YES, IT IS! I just gave you my account number!”

    Stripped Of All Pretensions

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

    (My aunt sells antiques, mainly small things like Victorian era toys. She has just sold a stuffed bear for $70. The customer hands her 70 single dollar bills.)

    Aunt: *joking* “Singles? What, are you a stripper?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    (After my aunt’s stunned silence, the girl and she started talking. The customer was really cool about it, and not embarrassed or upset by the comment. Apparently, thanks to her profession, she pretty much pays for everything with $1 bills!)

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