Featured:
  • A Very Purr-sonable Cat
    (1,828 thumbs up)
  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Category: Money

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 30

    | CT, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work for a cable services call center where sometimes customers call in thinking they’re talking to their local cable store.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I want my credit card back right now!”

    Me: *confused* “I… I’m sorry ma’am. What do you mean?”

    Customer: “You heard me! I gave you guys my credit card a week ago. I want it back right now or else I’m going to call the police!”

    Me: *still confused* “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am. I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. Could you please explain your situation to me so that I can better assist you?”

    (The customer goes on to explain this really bizarre story where she was walking to her local cable store to make a payment, but they were closed by the time she got there. She tore off the bottom portion of her billing statement, the part that you detach and mail along with a check payment, and put that in an envelope along with her credit card and a note that read, “please process payment and mail to forwarding address.” She then dropped that envelope into the drop box near the cable store entrance. This woman actually assumed someone at the store would process her payment and mail her credit card back to her, which didn’t happen. I am sitting in my chair silently dumbfounded for at least 10 seconds at the sheer stupidity of this customer.)

    Customer: “Hello? Are you there, sir?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. I apologize for the long pause. I’m sorry but you are actually speaking to the call center and not the store. Have you spoken to your bank yet regarding the issue?”

    Customer: “No! Because you guys have my credit card and I want it back!! Are you going to make me drive all the way to the store just to get my card back?”

    Me: “That’s actually unnecessary as they might not be able to help you anyway. For one thing, there’s a strong possibility your card has been stolen, and—”

    Customer: “What the f***! What am I suppose to do now?”

    Me: “The first thing you want to do is contact your bank to let them know your card has been stolen.”

    Customer: *in a sarcastic tone* “And why should I have to do your dirty work?”

    Me: *in a similar sarcastic tone* “Because we’re not the ones who put a credit card into a drop box intended for check payments only.”

    Customer: “Well, smarta**, how was I suppose to make my payment, then?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you do realize that you could’ve make your payment over the phone, right?”

    Customer: “Pfft, you expect me to trust one of your reps with my credit card information?”

    Me: “Considering you dropped your credit card into a drop box blindly trusting one of the store employees to return it back to you… YES!”

    Customer: “This is f***** ridiculous! Transfer me to the department that will cancel my service. I don’t want to do business with crooks!”

    Me: “Sure. One moment, please.”

    (I transferred the lady to the retention department where I explained to the rep the bizarre story. We had a good laugh at the woman’s expense. I would later receive an e-mail from the same rep stating the notations I left behind were e-mailed to everyone in her department and mine. Everyone was in agreement that I had the craziest customer service story in the entire company.)

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 29
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 28
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 27
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 26
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25

    Tax Mex

    | NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Hotels & Lodging, Money

    (I am driving two guests to a convenience store and they are talking about Mexico and taxes.)

    Guest #1: *to Guest #2* “Do they even have taxes in Mexico? Don’t they just pay cash for everything?”

    Trying To Cash In On Credit

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I’m on the register and call the next customer in line up to my till.)

    Me: “Hello. Did you find everything all right today?”

    Customer: “I just need to return these sweatpants.”

    Me: “Oh, sure. Was there anything wrong with them?”

    Customer: “They’re ugly.”

    Me: *proceeding with the transaction* “I’m sorry you feel that way. May I see your receipt?”

    (The customer tosses the receipt at me, along with her ID. I continue processing the transaction without incident until…)

    Me: “Okay, you’re going to get back $49.97 for these sweatpants. Looking at your receipt, I see you paid with your [store credit card], so I’ll just go ahead and put the balance back on your card.”

    Customer: “No, I paid with cash.”

    Me: *looking at the receipt again* “No, ma’am. It very clearly says here at the bottom that you paid with your [store credit card].” *shows receipt to customer* “See?”

    Customer: “Yes, but then I paid cash.”

    Me: *a light bulb goes off in my head* “Oh! Did you put the purchase on your [store credit card] and then pay off the purchase with cash in the store?”

    Customer: “Yes. I paid cash.”

    Me: “Okay. Well, unfortunately, the original purchase was made on your card, so I can only refund this to you on your card or store credit.”

    Customer: “No. I paid cash, and I want cash back.”

    (The circular argument goes on for several minutes, with the customer becoming more and more irate. Finally, I call a manager over to explain.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, what my associate is telling you is correct. You made this purchase on a credit card, and so we can only refund it to you on that card. Our computers won’t let us do it any other way.”

    Customer: “FINE!” *throws credit card at me* “I hope you’re both happy to have stolen money from me!”

    Her Bargaining Power Has Gone To The Dogs

    | WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a pet store that sells puppies. A very angry customer comes in to buy a Boston terrier.)

    Customer: “This place is filthy! You only have sick dogs!”

    Me: “We are very proud of our sanitation standards as well as the fact that we have not had an outbreak of a major illness in over five years.”

    Customer: “Hmph! Well, then I’m going to have to have some cosmetic surgery done on the dog because I don’t like this feature the dog has.”

    Me: “Uh, well, these are natural features, and pose no health risk.

    Customer: “I still demand the price of the puppy dropped down.

    Me: “Our prices are already very fair. Especially when everything comes with the puppy, even the microchip and the vaccinations.”

    Customer: “I demand to see the manager!”

    (The manager comes over and the situation is explained. Eventually, the customer makes an ultimatum.)

    Customer: “I will be out the door with the puppy for $800 or with nothing!”

    (It is then we all realize that the customer has not actually established what the price of the puppy actually is, which is just $600. For all her yelling and harassment of the staff, she was very nice after the manager changed the price to $800.)

    Fickle Over A Nickel

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

    (The store where I work has a coffee booth near the express lane, where I am working one day. Customer #1, an elderly man, comes to my register with a small coffee. He puts a dollar, two quarters, and four pennies on my counter.)

    Customer #1: “It should be $1.54 for this coffee, right?”

    Me: “I think so. Let me check.”

    (I ring it up and with tax it comes to $1.59.)

    Me: “Oh, sorry. Looks like it’s actually $1.59. You were close though!”

    (The man frowns and pulls out a wad of bills. He has twenties, tens, fives, and several more dollar bills.)

    Customer #1: *muttering* “I might as well give you a twenty to get a nickel!” *stuffs all his money back in his pockets* “You can just keep the d*** coffee!”

    (He storms off, leaving me speechless. The next customer stares after him.)

    Customer #2: “Goodness! What was his problem?”

    Me: “He was a nickel short for his coffee and didn’t want to give me another dollar instead.”

    Customer #2: “Is that what all the fuss was about? Shoot, I could have given him a nickel!”

    Me: “I have some dimes in my pocket, but I don’t think he would have accepted that either.”

    Customer #2: *shaking her head* “Shame. It seems like he really could have used that coffee!”

    Page 40/143First...3839404142...Last