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    Category: Money

    Worshiping A Vengeful God

    | Waco, TX, USA | Money, Movies & TV, Religion

    (At our theater, matinee ends at 6 pm, and 3D movies cost $2.50 more than regular ones. It’s about 5:50 pm and I’m selling tickets for a 6pm showing.)

    Customer: “Well, I’d like two for The Avengers.”

    Me: “Alright, the 6 pm is in 3D; is that okay?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s why we’re watching the 6 pm one!”

    Me: “Fantastic. Any student or military IDs for a discount today?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Well, for two tickets that’s $19.”

    Customer: “FOR TWO TICKETS? That’s ridiculous! I thought this place was supposed to be cheap; what am I even paying for?”

    (I’ve zoned out, and just grab his glasses when his wife cuts in.)

    Customer’s Wife: *over her still-ranting husband* “Ignore him. He’s had a bad day. Here’s a twenty.”

    (I finish their transaction and someone walks up to them and greets the man.)

    Other Customer: “Oh, hey Pastor!”

    Selective Stealing

    | Portugal | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (I’m attending to a client that has her bag and other stuff on the counter, and has to fill out some forms.)

    Me: “Do you mind if I attend to another client while you fill out the forms?”

    Client #1: “Sure!”

    (I call another client, and she has to fill out some forms as well, so I return to Client #1.)

    Me: “All done. That will be €5.50.”

    Client #1: “Where’s my money?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Client #1: “I had my money right here in the counter, and it’s gone!”

    (We both look for the money, trying to figure out if it has fallen to the floor. Suddenly I look at Client #2, and realize what has happened.)

    Me: *to Client #2* “Ma’am, did you take the money that was on the counter?”

    Client #2: *after a long pause* “Yes, I did.”

    Client #1: “Why on earth would you do that?!”

    Client #2: “Well, I didn’t know it was yours; I thought it was hers!” *points to me*

    Me: “So that would make it okay?!”

    Client #2: *happily* “Exactly!”

    A Price Shake-Down

    , | Anchorage, AK, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I’m working the counter, and I see a six-year-old boy walk in with his mother. The mother sits in the back while the boy goes to the counter to make his order.)

    Me: “Hi, sweetie! What can I get you today?”

    Boy: “Can I please have a small orange-creme shake?”

    Me: “Of course. Anything else?”

    Boy: “No.”

    Me: “Alright, that’ll be one-ninety.”

    (The boy’s face crumples, and he backs away from the counter, walks in a circle, then looks back at me.)

    Boy: “What?”

    Me: “One-ninety?”

    (The boy begins crying, and rushes back to his mother.)

    Boy: “Mommy! I need $200 for my shake, and we don’t have that kinda money!”

    Mother: “What?”

    Me: “Wait, wait, no, sweetheart! I mean it’s one dollar and ninety cents!”

    Boy: “Oh, okay.”

    (After that, he pays for his shake and acts like absolutely nothing has happened.)

    Honest About His Scam

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (An eight-year-old boy has been pulling the same scam about three days a week for almost a month. He comes to the checkout with a few items and is always around $2 short. He freezes like a deer in headlights when asked if he would like to put an item back or go get more money. He’s gotten the act down so well, almost every time another customer feels bad for him and offers him the $2.)

    Me: “Okay, the total is $12.12.”

    Child: “I only have a $10.”

    Me: “Do you want to put this back?” *holds up item* “It’s $2.19, so then you’d have enough.”

    Child: “Ummmm. I don’t know. My mom needs it. She said to get these six things.”

    Me: “You can go home and get the $2.12. I’ll hold these things here and you can come back to me and pay.”

    Child: “Ummmm… I don’t…”

    (Just then, a customer behind him speaks up.)

    Customer: “I’ll give it to him.”

    Me: “No. He does this all the time. We aren’t allowing other customers to pay anymore.”

    Customer: “It’s just $2.”

    Me: “Right, but he’s probably made $100 this month doing this same thing. We won’t allow any other customers to cover his groceries.” *turns to child* “You’ll need to go home and ask your mom what she wants you to do.”

    (About 10 minutes later, the boy returns. I figure the boy has been pocketing the money, but it turns out he hasn’t.)

    Child: “My mom said to get the money from another customer. She says they always give it to me, and why can’t I get someone to give it to me this time?”

    A Price Peddler

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Transportation

    (I put a lot of newly built bikes up on the racks. A customer comes in wanting to look at one of the new bikes.)

    Customer: “Can you pull that bike down? My son would like to try it.”

    Me: *pulls bike down* “Here you go.”

    (The customer’s son then rides the bike around the bike section for a minute and is pleased with it.)

    Customer: “How much is this bike?”

    Me: “It’s $79.99 in a box, or $89.99 assembled.”

    Customer: “Why is it more when it’s already together?”

    Me: “Well we have bike builders who put the bikes together. But we do have this bike in a box, so you can buy it in a box and then put it together.”

    Customer: “I think I should get a discount on this bike since it’s all dirty.”

    (The customer is talking about the tires since the bike has been ridden on the store floor, which has some dust on it.)

    Me: “Your child was the first person to ride this bike since it was built; we can wipe off the tires so that the dirt is off.”

    Customer: “No, it’s been used; look at it! I shouldn’t have to pay full price for a used item.”

    Me: “The bike builders just built this exact bike not too long ago, and I know for a fact that your son is the only one to ride this bike.”

    Customer: “So, you admit that it was used!”

    Me: “Only by your child.”

    Customer: “That’s why I should get a discount; it’s used! I want to see your manager!”

    (I call my manager who comes back to listen to the issue. My manager backs me up. The customer does eventually buy the bike, already put together, paying the additional $10.)

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