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    Driving Her Own Price Up

    , | CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Transportation

    (A policy holder calls to complain about the very high premium she is paying for her auto insurance. I review the policy with her and determine that she’s had many accidents and violations. Easily the worst driving record I’ve seen, and I’ve been doing this job for years.)

    Customer: “So, what can be done so that I don’t pay so much?”

    Me: “As your driving history is the reason for the high premium, there are no opportunities to reduce the cost until your record improves.”

    Customer: “There has to be something you can do?”

    Me: “I’ve verified that the price is accurate. There is nothing more I can do.”

    Customer: “Is there something I can do?”

    Me: “Have you had a recent check up with a doctor to see if there is a physical reason you are having difficulty while driving? You may want to consider using public transportation, at least until you’ve been medically cleared.”

    Customer: “There’s nothing wrong with my health, and I’m not going to stop driving!”

    Me: “If you must continue to drive, I’d suggest taking a driver education or improvement course.”

    Customer: “You’re joking, right? I’m a good driver! Everyone gets into a bit of trouble now and again!”

    (This call was chosen by my supervisor for monthly call review and coaching, which was less than a week later. There were already two more accident claims filed!)

    Give Her Family Credit

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Money

    (Our system uses a PLU (Product Listed Under) list, which consists of numbers from 1-200, which are used for produce, milk, flowers, and meat coming through the registers. It has been a long busy day and I was getting a bit bored with repeating the same spiel over and over, so I decided to mix it up a little bit.)

    Me: “Your total comes to $94.55. Would you like to pay by cash, card, or firstborn child today?”

    Customer: “Firstborn child? How much is she worth?”

    Me: *turns to customer’s daughter* “How old are you this year?”

    Customer’s Daughter: “I’m five and two thirds!”

    (I put the number five into the system, which corresponds with a 750 gram bag of tomatoes, worth $3.50.)

    Me: *to the customer* “She’s worth $3.50.”

    Customer: “D***, not enough. It’ll have to be card.”

    (The transaction finishes and she starts to head off.)

    Customer: “Can I pay with my husband next time?”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34

    | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I’m next in line at a chain arts and crafts store. Everyone who shops here complains about how long the lines always are, and how there are never any employees around, but I think it’s more because there is ALWAYS a difficult customer at the front of the line.)

    Customer: “I’d like to do an even exchange, this ribbon for this yarn. I don’t have a receipt for the ribbon.”

    Cashier: “Well, we don’t do exchanges without a receipt, but I can do a return on the ribbon and then we can use the money you’ll get back toward the yarn.”

    Customer: *death glare at the cashier* “Fine.”

    Cashier: “It looks like you’ll get $2.61 back for the ribbon. I’ll just put that toward the yarn if that’s okay?

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Cashier: “Okay, and the yarn comes out to $2.51. So you’ll actually get a dime back!”

    Customer: “WHAT?! I TOLD YOU I WANTED AN EVEN EXCHANGE! WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?!”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, this is just the price of the yarn. I have nothing to do with it. It’s in your favor. You’re getting money back.”

    Customer: “WHY WOULD I WANT MONEY BACK?! I HATE THIS STORE! EVERYONE HERE IS SO INCOMPETENT!”

    (Everyone in line stares in confusion as she storms out of the store with the yarn and not the dime. As I’m next in line, the cashier looks at me.)

    Cashier: “Well, then. Looks like you get a 10-cent discount on your purchase, miss! I hope that’s okay; I know money’s so darn inconvenient these days!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 33
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 32
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31

    It’s An Acquired Taste

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in acquisitions for a major credit card company. We’re the people you call when you want to sign up for a new credit card, or to be taken off the mailing list for pre-approved credit card offers. This day, I am listening in to help train a new employee. I’ve been explaining to her some of the things about this department before she takes any calls.)

    Me: “So, a lot of calls you get will be people wanting to be removed from the mailing list for pre-approved offers. It’s usually not a big deal, but some people make it way bigger of a deal than they need to. So, get used to a lot of yelling and verbal abuse.”

    New Employee: “Oh, well, I worked in Retention before transferring here. I had to deal with all SORTS of angry customers trying to cancel their credit cards, so I know how to diffuse angry customers.”

    (The phone rings.)

    New Employee: “Thank you for calling [Credit Card]. My name is [New Employee]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, you can take me off your d*** mailing list!”

    New Employee: “Okay, I’d be happy to help you with that. First I just need—”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you people keep sending me this crap! As if I don’t have enough junk mail to deal with already!”

    New Employee: “I’m terribly sorry to hear that, but—”

    Customer: “And you f****** scam artists, always trying to swindle people with your credit scams! Probably selling my social security number to everyone you know! What if someone else had stolen my mail and filled out this offer in my name?!”

    New Employee: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but to—”

    Customer: “Do you know how much of a headache you cause me with your d*** f****** junk mail?! I oughtta sue all your a**** for everything you’re worth!”

    New Employee: “Ma’am—”

    Customer: “You haven’t heard the last of me! I’ll tell everyone I f****** know to stay away from you! All you’ve done is harass me!”

    New Employee: “Ma’am, can I—”

    Customer: “Well, F*CK YOU!” *slams down the phone, ending the call*

    Me: “Welcome to Acquisitions.”

    This ID Is Sub-par

    | Westchester, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am the customer in this story. I am checking out with a few items of food and some beer. I keep my ID and subway card in the same pocket of my wallet.)

    Cashier: “Could I see some ID?”

    Me: “Sure!”

    (Not paying any attention, I hand her my subway card.)

    Cashier: *holds card while staring at me, waiting for me to notice it’s not a driver’s license* “Um…”

    Me: “Oh, oops! Sorry!” *hands her my ID*

    Her Coworker: *while bagging my groceries* “Now, if it was a twenty, that might have worked!”

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