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    Category: Money

    Yesterday, All My Charities Were Far Away

    | Pinellas County, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (The theater company I work for does a charity promotion every summer where we ask customers to donate a dollar or their spare change. Every year, this exact occurrence never fails to happen multiple times on the first day of the promotion:)

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [Theater]!”

    Customer: “Yes, can I get three tickets for [Movie]?”

    Me: “Sure! Would you like to donate $1, or even your spare change, to [Charity]?”

    Customer: “What? No, I did that yesterday!”

    Me: *palmface*

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 36

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (My holiday job is at a small bookshop in my town. We have a gift card system connected to another major retailer of books and DVDs. One day a man attempted to buy $50 worth of books with a $50 gift card that had only $1 left on it.)

    Customer: “I’d like to pay for these using this gift card.”

    Me: “Certainly.”

    (I take the gift card and glance at the back, where it is written underneath the original $50 that he’s spent $49 using the card and has $1 left.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but you only have $1 left on your gift voucher.”

    Customer: “What do you mean? It says it’s worth $50!”

    Me: “Yes, but you’ve already spent $49 in a previous purchase using this card.”

    Customer: “But it says $50!”

    (My boss realises that I have a difficult customer and she comes over to help.)

    Boss: “I’m sorry, sir, but it seems like there is only $1 on your gift card. However, we will contact the [Other Retailer]’s help desk for you and just check that it’s not a mistake.”

    (I call the help desk while my boss attempts to explain the concept of using up money on a gift voucher to the man, who still doesn’t seem to understand and continues to repeat that it says $50 on the back and that someone must be trying to trick him. The help desk tells me that there is, in fact, only $1 left on his gift card.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but there is actually only $1 left on your gift voucher.”

    Boss: “I’m very sorry, but there’s nothing we can do.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Why would they write $50 on the back if it was going to run out?”

    Me: “Because you can only spend up to $50 using this card once, just like using a real $50 note. Once you’ve spent it, it’s been spent and you can’t get it back.”

    (The man paid the remaining $49 but continued to complain about the gift card for the entire purchase. To our relief he soon left, but was obviously still upset at the revelation that money was not, in fact, unlimited.)

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 35
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 33

    Vacationing At The School Of Repetition

    , | UK | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Money

    (The phone rings.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, School of Medicine, how may I help you.”

    Caller: “Yes, my credit card number is 574…”

    Me: “Excuse me, why are you giving me your credit card number?”

    Caller: “I’m paying my room bill.”

    Me: “Your… room bill? We don’t take any outside bookings for our teaching rooms…”

    Caller: “No, no, no, the room I was staying in.”

    Me: *realisation hitting* “Oh. I think you might have the wrong number, sir. This is the School of Medicine, part of [University].”

    Caller: “… you’re not the Hilton Hotel?”

    Me: “No, sir.”

    Caller: “Oh.”

    (He hangs up. I put the receiver down, and I’m just about to turn to my colleagues and comment on the strange call I just received when the phone goes again.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, School of Medicine. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Good afternoon. My credit card number is 574…”

    Me: “Um, sorry, sir, but you’ve dialled the wrong number again; you’re through to the School of Medicine.”

    Caller: “What? Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I’m sure.”

    Caller: “Oh.”

    (He hangs up again. I turn to my colleagues and manage to say ‘that was weird,’ when the phone goes again.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, School of Medicine.”

    Caller: “Oh, you’re joking!”

    Me: “Hello again, sir. No, you’re definitely ringing the wrong number.”

    Caller: “But it can’t be. I put the number in right the first time!”

    Me: “The first time? The first time you got through to me?”

    Caller: “Yes!”

    Me: “And did you try putting the number in again the other times?”

    Caller: “Well, of course not. That’s why I have redial on my phone!”

    (At this point, I have to look up, remove the phone from my ear and breathe deeply through my nose in order not to break into convulsions of laughter.)

    Me: “Sir, do you have something with the Hilton Hotel’s number on it?”

    Caller: “Yes, I have their booking confirmation.”

    Me: “Can you tell me the number?”

    Caller: “Yes, it’s 9079 XXXX.”

    Me: “I see the problem. Our number is 9097 XXXX. You need to hang up again and dial the correct number this time.”

    Caller: “Oh.” *click*

    (It took me nearly a minute after he hung up the final time before I managed to start telling my colleagues what had just happened.)

    Related:

    Laziness Is The Father Of Repetition

    No ID, No Idea, Part 18

    | MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (We ask for ID when the credit or debit card purchase is over 15 dollars. This customer’s total is $97.94.)

    Me: “Perfect, red for credit or type in the pin if it’s a debit card.”

    (The customer selects credit.)

    Me: “All right. Can I see your ID, please?”

    Customer: “Why the h*** do you need to see that?”

    Me: “To verify that the card matches the purchaser, sir.”

    Customer: “That’s why credit cards exist,boy! So that I can purchase whatever I want without ID! That’s how the world works son, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Well, sir, how do I know it’s you and not somebody stealing your card?”

    Customer: “Because it’s me! Nobody stole my card, did they?! I’m the one buying this right now with this card!”

    Me: “I would have no idea of knowing that unless I saw your Identification…”

    (He then gave me his ID and was very pleasant for the rest of the transaction. But I guess I learned how the world worked?)

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 17
    No ID, No Idea, Part 16
    No ID, No Idea, Part 15

    Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 3

    | TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work at a mattress retailer.)

    Customer: “I want to see your [price] queen set.”

    Me: “Okay, right this way.”

    Customer: “Yes, that looks just like the one I bought at [Competitor] for [price $50 higher]. Do you guys have a price match policy?”

    Me: “Yes, if you find the same product cheaper somewhere else we’ll match it.”

    Customer: “Well, then, I want my $50 refund.”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Under your guarantee, you have to refund me my $50!

    Me: “But… didn’t you just say that you got it for $50 higher than our price at [Competitor]?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “So, you want us to refund you the $50 despite the fact that our price is lower, and you have never purchased anything from us.”

    Customer: “Yes! How hard is this to understand? That’s what a price match guarantee is!”

    Me: “Uh… I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t refund you money you never spent, plus the price match only applies if you buy the product from us and then find it cheaper somewhere else.”

    Customer: “Don’t try and confuse me! You have to give me $50. It’s in writing and I’ll sue you for false advertising if you don’t! You’ll be fired!”

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am, but what you need to do is go to [Competitor] and enquire about their price match guarantee. If you want to return your product there, I would be happy to sell you this one for [price].”

    Customer: “I can’t believe your lack of customer service! I’m never shopping here again!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you have yet to purchase anything from us in the first place.”

    Customer: “Well, I never!”

    (She stormed out of the store. I have no idea if she got her $50, but good riddance!)

    Related:
    Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 2
    Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer

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