Category: Money

You Are Not In The House Of Cards

, | Olympia, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Money

(I work in the food court of a warehouse store. We have signs that clearly say ‘cash or check only’ above the registers. Someone comes up and orders their food.)

Me: “All right, let me get that for you!”

Customer: *attempts to hand me a card*

Me: “I’m sorry, but we only take cash or check on these registers.”

Customer: “What? Since when?”

Me: “I don’t think we have ever taken cards because we don’t have a card reader.”

Customer: “Well, why not? It would make life so much easier!”

Me: “They charge us every time the card reader is swiped, and since we make very little profit on our food, we would have to raise the price.”

Customer: “Well then, raise it! I don’t see why people would get so upset!”

Me: *gets food* “All right, that will be $1.63.”

Customer: “WHAT? It’s $1.50 up on the board.”

Me: “There is tax on it.”

Customer: *grumbles about ‘raising prices on food being ridiculous’ as he hands over the money and stomps off*

Refuses To Walk A Mile In Full Price Shoes

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Money, Spouses & Partners

(We are currently having a shoe sale which is ‘buy two and get a third pair half price.’ The sign also states they have to be purchased in the one transaction. A woman comes in; her English is not very good so communication is a little difficult. She has bought two pairs on a previous day and now wants a third pair half price. I try to explain to her about the one transaction rule, but she looks very confused. She is very nice and I feel bad for her. She leaves looking confused and disappointed. Only after do I think of returning the two pairs she previously bought and then selling them back to her together with the discount. A little while later she comes back with her husband, who speaks better English. I’m happy to see her since figuring out a solution, until her husband opens his mouth and is extremely rude.)

Husband: “You need to sell these to my wife at half price like your sign says.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I tried to explain that the deal is—”

Husband: “—I don’t care what the ‘deeeaaalll’  is. My wife bought two shoes so she gets a third pair half price.”

Me: “Okay, I understand. Like I was saying they have to be bought in the same transaction but—”

Husband: “I. DON’T. CARE. You refused to serve my wife. Now you will give them to her half price or I want to see a manager!”

Me: “I’m sorry if I have upset your wife, and I’m happy to help. Just let me just explain first. I can’t override the system but what I can do is—”

Husband: “NO! This is ridiculous.” *he rants for a while longer, then smiles weirdly* “You know what, I just want to return these two shoes for a full refund.” *he then turns and murmurs to his wife* “Then we’ll just buy them back and get the half price.” *sniggers*

Me: *inwardly sighing* “Okay, I can refund them if you like.”

(As I’m doing the refund he is murmuring nasty things under his breath and I’m tempted to refuse service, but I feel bad for his wife so just keep smiling and decide to kill him with kindness. I finish the refund and then straight away put the sale back through with all three items, with the half price included.)

Me: “Sir, the refund is all done.”

Husband: *talking down to me very smugly* “Excellent. Now here is what we’re going to do. I’m going to buy all three of these back, with the half price. What do you think of that?”

Me: “That’s a very good idea, sir. I did try to tell you I could do that for you before. In fact, I’ve already put the sale through for you, I just need you to sign here for your card and I can print the receipt for you.”

(The shock on his face was priceless. I sincerely hope his wife enjoyed those shoes… and found a better husband.)

Their Welfare Status Is Okie Dokie

| New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Money

(I am a dental assistant at a dental surgery and move between answering phones and assisting the dentist. We have irate patients regularly, who get treatment done and then claim they weren’t told how much it was and refuse to pay, or try to get refunds on treatment already received, or try to get money refunded that was paid for by the government. This particular patient was the latter case. I have come up with a useful way to deal with these stressful phone calls.)

Me: “Good morning, [Dental Clinic]!”

Patient: “It’s [Patient]. You guys told me I’d be getting my money refunded for my dental care! I want my money back and you haven’t put it in my f****** account!”

Me: “Just give me a minute sir, while I bring up your file and have a look… Oh, I see. Yes, the money for your dental care was being refunded, but since your care was paid for by [Welfare], the money will be refunded to them.”

Patient: *suddenly polite* “Oh, no, no. [Welfare] told me that you can give it to me and then I’ll give it to them. No problem!”

Me: “I highly doubt [Welfare] would have told you that, sir. We deal with [Welfare] directly, and will refund the money straight back into their account.”

Patient: “THAT’S MY F******* MONEY! You mother-f***** con-artists better give me that money! I DESERVE THAT MONEY!”

Me: “No need to swear, sir. There is really nothing more to discuss.”

Patient: “YOU GIVE ME THAT GOD-D*** MONEY!! IF I DON’T SEE THAT MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT BY TOMORROW, I WILL COME AND SEE YOU!”

Me: “Okie dokie. That won’t be happening, sir.”

Patient: “I’M SERIOUS!  I’LL COME DOWN THERE! YOU BETTER TELL YOUR BOSS TO WATCH HIS BACK!”

Me: “Okie dokie, sir.”

Patient: “I KNOW WHERE HE PARKS! I DESERVE THAT MONEY! YOU GUYS ARE RIPOFFS, F****** C****!”

Me: “Okie dokie, sir.”

Patient: “F*** YOUR ‘OKIE DOKIE!’ GO TO H***!”

Me: “Okie dokie, sir. I’m hanging up now. Have a nice day.”

Patient: “F*** YOU. IF YOU HANG UP I’M RINGING BACK UNTIL I SEE THAT MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT!”

Me: “Okie dokie, sir. Goodbye.”

Patient: “I SAID F*** YOUR OKIE DO—” *click*

An Ounce Of Principles

| MA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(I work in a very popular coffee chain. We allow people to bring in company mugs and charge accordingly to how many ounces of liquid the cups hold.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, that’ll be $2.37.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. I pay $1.50 for this.”

Me: “That is a 24 oz cup, correct?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And you can see on the display screen I have hit personal cup 24 oz?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And you can see that it’s ringing in $2.37 after tax?”

Customer: “Listen here, you snide little b*****, I don’t need you standing here calling me stupid. I can read and I see what you did but you’re just trying to rob me! I pay $1.50 every f****** day for this cup and that’s what I’m going to pay.”

Me: “Well, I can’t sell you our product for that price so you have two options: either hand me the amount you’ve been rightfully charged or have a good night.”

Customer: “You are a c*** and I’m going to corporate with this! Get me the number for your corporate office!”

(I get her the number and she leaves screaming.)

Customer: “I’ll have your job and your stupid face won’t ever work anywhere in this town again! I always pay $1.50! It’s the principle not the price! I’m the customer!”

(She did call corporate but they sided with me and the next time I saw her she had no problem paying the proper amount.)

Got To Give Him Credit For Persistence

, | Beltsville, MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

(I work for an online retail store. Our website charges customer’s credit cards automatically when they place their order, and we often have to handle refunds for a variety of reasons. One customer decides we are taking too long to ship his order and demands we refund his card.)

Customer: “I’ve been asking for a refund for weeks and you promised me it was done last Friday!”

Me: “Sir, you cancelled your order last Thursday and the refund was put through on Friday.”

Customer: “I don’t see anything on my credit card yet!”

Me: “Sir, this is Monday. Transactions can take five to seven business days to process by the card issuer. I can provide you with the transaction ID number and you can talk to them, but as far as we’re concerned the refund is complete.”

(Customer is given the information and rudely hangs up. About one hour later, he calls back, even more furious.)

Customer: “I want to talk to your manager! You lied to me!”

Me: “Sir, please calm down. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “You gave me a bogus number! My credit card company says that number is useless and they haven’t seen anything. You’re probably scammers and I’m going to report you to the BBB!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you the transaction was put through. Please just give it five to seven—”

Customer *interrupting* “That’s bull****! I asked them and they assured me that all transactions were immediate! I’m going to file a chargeback against you and report you!”

Me: “I’m not sure who told you that, sir, but that is how long it can take. If you wish to file a chargeback you are free to do so, but understand that this may lock the funds up even longer while they investigate your claim.”

(Customer curses us out and hangs up. About 30 minutes later, he calls back, calmer but with an attitude.)

Customer: “I want you to stay on the line. I’m putting this through on a three-way with my bank.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. I’ll stay on the line with you.”

Bank Teller: “This is [Major Credit Card]. How can I help you?”

(Customer proceeds to go on a rant about how we took his money and how he wants to take legal action to regain the funds.)

Bank Teller: “Okay, so you want to check on a chargeback claim. What is the case number?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have a case number yet. I just want them to refund their money?”

Me: *to Bank Teller* “Ma’am, we have already performed the refund. I see the transaction in our processing statements and have an ID number.”

Bank Teller: “Wait, so this is a credit card refund?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Bank Teller: *to Customer* “Sir, if they’ve already refunded the card, you should see the transaction in five to seven business days.”

Customer: “WHAT?! That’s not what they told me when I last called in! That’s bull-s***!”

Bank Teller: *sternly to Customer* “Sir, please do not use foul language. That is how long it takes to process the refund on our end.”

Customer: *much quieter* *sighs* “I see.”

Bank Teller: *in a serious voice* “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Me: “No, ma’am. Thank you.”

Customer: *quietly* “No.”

(Bank Teller hangs up.)

Me: “Sir, is there anything else I can do for you?”

Customer: *unhappy but quiet* “No. I guess I’ll wait.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. You have a nice day.”

(Customer hung up without a word.)

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