Category: Money

Unlimited Capacity To Be Annoying

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I am working at a high end outlet store, welcoming customers, when the power unexpectedly cuts out. Most of the customers are understanding of this when we ask everyone to please leave the store and offer to hold items behind the register until the power comes back and we can ring people out.)

Customer: “These are MY items; you can’t steal them from me. I am going to BUY them.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but we cannot check you out without power.”

Customer: “Why not? You can’t add prices without the cash register?”

Me: “Ma’am, you have over $4000 dollars worth of merchandise here. Do you have that much cash?”

Customer: “Ugh, no one carries that much cash. I have a credit card. Unlike SOME people I have an UNLIMITED card.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but I cannot run your card with no power. If you will please give me your items, I will hold them here. We need to vacate the store now, please.”

Customer: “It’s an UNLIMITED CARD. Do you understand what that means? It means I CAN’T be denied! UNLIMITED!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but I still have to run the card. Please give me your items.”

Customer: “NO! You’re going to steal my things. I have an UNLIMITED CARD!”

(Finally my manager and a security guard were able to get her out of the store until power was restored. The best part? When she came back to buy her items, her card was declined.)

Abroadly Lying

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Liars & Scammers, Money

(I work in a cancellations department for a high end TV provider. On a day where I’ve had decent customers, I get one who has a discounted service and the following happens:)

Me: “You’re through to [cancellations]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Hi, there. I need to cancel my account. I’m moving abroad.”

Me: “No worries. Your account will cancel in 31 days and you will pay one last bill.”

Customer: “Wait, why didn’t you offer me a discount to stay?”

Me: “Because you can’t take your service abroad with you.”

Customer: “My friend said if I try to cancel you’ll give me a discount.”

Me: “Well, your friend was wrong. We can’t transmit the service outside the UK.”

Customer: “But I want one!”

Me: “Are you moving out of the UK?”

Customer: “No. I lied. Can I have my discount, please?”

Me: “We are a business, not a charity. We provide a service that you pay for. That doesn’t make you entitled to a discount. Plus you’re getting 75% off your package so you’re not getting another discount.”

Customer: “I will go to [Competitor] if you don’t make it cheaper than what I’m paying for the same service.”

Me: “They aren’t available in your area and you’re currently tied to a contract.”

Customer: *screams and hangs up*

(Cheeky cancellation save!)

Ensuring A Lack Of Insuring

| WI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Money

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I would like to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “Okay, what is your last name?”

Customer: “[Name].”

Me: “I notice that we have not run insurance on this. Let me look into that.”

(I pull her up on the computer and notice we do not have any insurance information on file.)

Me: “We do not have insurance on file for you. Do you have insurance you would like us to bill?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(Usually the customer gets a card out so I give her some time, but she just stares at me waiting, so I ask:)

Me: “Do you have the card with you?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Right now this costs $89.75, but your insurance should bring that down. We will need the insurance information located on your card to bill them. Would you like some time to go get it?”

Customer: “It has never cost more than $5 before.”

Me: “Okay, hold on.”

(I look to see if we have another file for her that may have her insurance listed but none come up.)

Me: “I’m sorry we don’t have your insurance information. Have you filled with us or at another location? Or could it be under a different last name?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: *frustrated at this point* “Okay, then, there are a few options. You can find your insurance card and we can run it through, or you can pay the $89.75 and come back later with the insurance card for a refund. We have seven days to do a refund in store. After that we would have to send it to corporate and it could take several weeks.”

Customer: “”But it has never cost more than $5.”

Me: “I understand. I am sure the price will go down as soon as we get your insurance information. Would you like to go get your card?”

Customer: “I don’t have a card. I’ve never had a problem before.”

Me: “Where did you get your prescription last?”

Customer: “[Different pharmacy].”

Me: “We are not connected with them and cannot access their files.” *I give her the two options again*

Customer: “This is ridiculous; it should only be $5! You should have my insurance!”

Me: “Actually it is your responsibility to carry your insurance card. Most people carry them in their wallet.”

Customer: *walks away*

Coworker: “She must think your name tag says magician not technician.”

Popped Her Ballooning Fantasy

, | NY, USA | Family & Kids, Money

(My sister and I are doing balloons at a local festival. We are selling the balloons for one to two  dollars – pretty cheap compared to most other balloon artists when charging per balloon. Because it’s rainy, we haven’t had many customers. A woman and her daughter walk up to my sister when we have no line.)

My Sister: “Hi! Would you like a balloon?”

Woman: “Yes, she’d like— Oh! It costs money?”

My Sister: “Yes, it does.”

Woman: “Oh… sorry, sweetie, we can’t have any.”

(At hearing this, the daughter bursts out crying. The woman tries to console her.)

Woman: “It’s okay; we’ll go do something else.”

(Instead of going to do something else, the woman hangs around my sister, glancing at her hopefully now and then, obviously hoping she will get a free one. My lovely sister, who’s very stubborn, is not budging. Eventually, the woman’s hopeful glances turn into full out glares, as the child continues to cry and make a scene. Finally, as another man walks up:)

Woman: “All right, well, let’s leave- Oh! Sir, is there any possible way you could give me a dollar?”

Caller: “Oh… uh, yeah, I guess.”

(He handed her the dollar, and so the woman got her suddenly all-smiles daughter a balloon. After my sister handed it to her, she, of course, didn’t even say thank you.)

Wasn’t Banking On Banking

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Money

(Our credit service involves payment through a bank rather than to ourselves. Being a business, we put this on our website and on the front and back of customer’s monthly statements.)

Customer: “I need to make a payment.”

Me: “Okay, well, we can’t take it over the phone; it has to done through a bank.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “That’s what it says on the statement you have there.”

Customer: “I can’t believe it in this day and age!”

Me: “It’s because our accounts are based overseas, so the banks handle the currency difference.”

Customer: “How do I do that then? I don’t understand!”

Me: “The full instructions are on your statement. It’s just like paying us but paying your bank instead.”

Customer: “So what do I do?”

Me: “Just phone your bank.”

Customer: “It’s so inconvenient!”

Me: “I assure you it’s not. It’s the same as what you were about to try with me, but with your bank instead.”

Customer: “Well, they don’t operate 24 hours a day.”

Me: “And neither do we.”

Customer: *click*

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