November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Money

No Bright Prospects For This Lamp

| WI, USA | Money, Movies & TV

(My husband and I own a thrift shop and consignment store. People bring in items to us either for consignment or to sell us. A lady brings in “an antique lamp.”)

Customer: “I want to sell this lamp, and I expect $300 for it.”

Me: “Hmm, based on our local economy, if genuine, it will only sell for a fraction of that at the most. I can offer $40.”

Customer: *outraged* “It is the same kerosene lamp found in Gone With The Wind and it is worth way more than that!”

Me: “Then it is probably a replica, especially since, despite resembling an antique kerosene lamp, it has an electrical cord coming out of it.”

Customer: “An expert friend of mine appraised it for me and said it is genuine. It is worth a thousand, and I you will be making a huge mistake passing up this deal”

Me: “I am not saying I am an expert, but I doubt I could sell the lamp in my store for much more than I offered, and by all means, I can direct you to other reputable businesses.”

(She left in a huff. A week later, she returned with the lamp, humbly admitting the other businesses only offered her $20.)

Paying It Forwards, Going Backwards

Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

(I’m a customer in a restaurant. A woman has just asked for her bill only to be told it was already paid by someone else.)

Customer: “What do you mean it’s been paid? By who?”

Waiter: “I’m sorry, they asked to be kept anonymous.”

Customer: “WHO PAID MY BILL?”

Waiter: “Someone else paid your bill, ma’am. I don’t know their name.”

Customer: “Get your manager.”

(The owner happens by, showing another couple to their table.)

Owner: “Yes, how can I help you?”

Customer: “This guy won’t give me my bill. He said it’s been paid for already. Someone else paid my bill.”

Owner: “It happens sometimes. I guess they wanted to be nice. Have a nice day!”

Customer: “No. I want to know who paid it!”

(She proceeds to go to every table and ask the customers there if they were the ones who paid her bill. Eventually she was thrown out of the restaurant for causing a scene. I guess some people just can’t be grateful!)

No X-Ray For Ex-Clients

| USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Money

(I volunteer at a free clinic. We get a disturbing number of people who get angry and entitled. The clinic basically will provide whatever medical services that are both needed, and the clinic has the resources to provide. An x-ray machine was donated a few years back, and we used to have an x-ray tech that volunteered to run it. However, recently, our x-ray tech needed to quit volunteering because of her own professional, personal, and family obligations. We have to tell the patients that had x-ray appointments that we cannot do them. However, seeing our plight, a hospital system in the area has agreed to do the x-rays with a voucher from our clinic at an extremely reduced rate.)

Receptionist: “Hi, this is [Receptionist] at [Clinic.] We have you down for x-rays on [date]. Unfortunately our volunteer x-ray tech is no longer able to volunteer with us, and we’re going to need to cancel that appointment. However, [Hospital System] has agreed to do the x-ray for [price].”

Client: “I’d have to pay it?”

Receptionist: “I’m afraid so. But that is a very generous agreement on their part and it would be done at serious cost to them.”

Client: “I shouldn’t have to pay. So, I’ll just reschedule with you guys.”

Receptionist: “I’m sorry?”

Client: “What time can you guys do it instead?”

Receptionist: “I suppose I didn’t make myself clear. We are currently unable to do x-rays at all. We do not know when we will be able to do them again.”

Client: “Well, the doctor says I need this done, so you need to do them.”

Receptionist: “Again, we cannot. We do not currently have an x-ray tech on our volunteer rosters. We cannot operate the machine without an x-ray tech, as that would be a compromise of care that we are not willing to do for the purposes of cheap care.”

Client: “So what am I supposed to do?”

Receptionist: “Again, [hospital system] has agreed to pick up our x-ray imaging with a voucher system. I understand that you have a very limited income, but their offer is more than generous and we do appreciate what they’re doing.”

Client: “Well, I think you should pay.”

Receptionist: “We do not have the funds to pay for every person’s x-rays at cost. It’s not in our budget. However, if you honestly cannot pay, perhaps I can speak with our ‘Patient Access Professionals’ and see if they can work something out. But it really isn’t in our budget.” *the cost of this person’s x-ray is in the realm of $10*

Client: “You said I’d get free care. Give it to me. You owe me this.”

Receptionist: “We are a volunteer organization, and we exist because we believe that it is inhumane for people to not receive medical care. However, I do not owe you anything. I said that I would speak with PAP and see what they can do. However, we cannot afford to pay for the x-rays of each and every patient in this clinic. It is not in our budget, and we don’t have much discretionary spending in the budget. But I have spoken to people today who I am much more likely to go to bat for with getting their x-rays paid for. Heck, there have been people today that I’ve considered opening my own personal wallet for who have had more expensive procedures than you. But I am quickly losing compassion for you.”

Needs To Bathe In Some Realistic Prices

| Dallas, TX, USA | Money, Pets & Animals

(I work at a doggy daycare that also happens to be a bar, so people come there to drink with their dogs whether they are going to daycare or not. A woman who’s never been there before is hosting a meet up.)

Woman: “My dog has been stinky lately… How much for a bath?”

Me: “A bath for a dog of that size would be $24.”

Woman: “Well, I don’t mean a bath bath… Can’t you just put a little soap and rinse him off?”

Me: “That would be a bath. And it’s $24.”

A Noteworthy Customer

| Brighton, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

(An eccentrically dressed man comes up to my till. I go to scan his items…)

Man: “No, wait! I can’t stand the beeping noise. It disturbs me. Hold on.”

(The man puts his fingers in his ears and nods to me. I scan through his items and he removes his fingers.)

Me: “That’ll be £4.49 please.”

(The man hands me a £10 note and I take a £5 note out of the till to give him as change.)

Man: “Could you check that, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry? What would you like me to check?”

Man: “The £5 note. I need to know it’s real.”

Me: “Um, okay.”

(I take out our note-checking pen and show him that the note is genuine.)

Man: “Thank you. You can’t be too careful can you? The banks like to keep some fake ones in circulation so that the public think there are crime rings everywhere. But there aren’t; it’s just the banks.”

Me: “Ah, I see… Well, you have a nice afternoon, sir.”

Man: “Thank you! And may all your wishes come true!”