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    Category: Money

    Doesn’t Read Sign Language

    | AK, USA | Language & Words, Money

    (It’s my first day in a small drive through coffee shop; another employee is also working. A customer drives up and orders two drinks, which are promptly made. When I give her the total, she tries to hand me a card. We only take cash, and have three signs placed on and around the window saying so.)

    Me: “I’m sorry; we only take cash.”

    Customer: “You didn’t tell me that! I don’t have any cash!”

    (My coworker steps in.)

    Coworker: “There is an ATM located behind you at the liquor store, and one at the gas station two buildings down. We will be happy to keep your drinks warm, until you return.”

    (The customer glares at us and zooms away. I’m pretty sure that she’s not going to be coming back. About 20 minutes later though, she zooms back up at my coworkers window.)

    Customer: “Can I have my drinks now?”

    Coworker: “That will be $8.25.”

    Customer: “You know, you should tell people that you only take cash!”

    Coworker: “Actually, we have three signs around the window, if you’ll notice.”

    Customer: “Well, people won’t notice a sign; you need to tell them!”

    Coworker: “Here is your change; thank you.”

    Customer: “What is your manager’s phone number? I’m going to tell them about this!”

    Coworker: “It’s right here on this sign.”

    (My coworker points a sign next to the big ‘Only Cash’ sign. I’ve been finishing an order right next to my coworker, and the customer turns to me.)

    Customer: “You wipe that smile off your face! You think this is so funny, don’t you!? Well, I’m going to tell your manager!”

    (Later, the owner calls to have us listen to the lady’s voicemail. She basically blows the entire situation up, saying that we had been really rude, and that I had been… laughing manically. Yes, “manically.”)

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 7

    | Québec City, QC, Canada | Canada, Money, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in a café in the old city in Québec, which is a very popular tourist destination. A couple approaches the counter.)

    Me: “Bonjour, hello.”

    Customer: “Hello! You take American money, right?”

    Me: “Ooh, I’m afraid not. Would you like to pay with a card? We take debit and credit.”

    Customer: “Why don’t you take American dollars?”

    Me: “Because this isn’t the United States.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about?!”

    Me: “Canada is a different country. May I ask where you’re visiting from?”

    Customer: “New Zealand.”

    Me: “Right, I thought I recognized the accent. Would you take it kindly if I came to your city and tried to use Australian dollars?”

    Customer: “NO!”

    Me: “Well, it’s the same deal here. Now would you like to pay with a card?”

    Customer: “CANADA IS PART OF THE UNITED STATES; YOU’RE ALL JUST IN DENIAL!”

    Related:
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 6
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 5
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
    Canada: America’s Hat

    What Would Jesus Discount?

    | IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Money, Religion

    (I’m ringing up a customer at a store that specializes in Christian books and church resources. She has two coupons: one for 20% off everything, and one for 40% off a single item.)

    Me: “…and with the coupon, your total comes to $18.95.”

    Customer: “No, no, you didn’t use both my coupons. I have two here, see?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t use both of them on the same transaction. I used the 20% because it would save you more. You can hold on to the 40% to use another time.”

    Customer: “No! You have to use both!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it says that you can only use one coupon per item. The 20% covers everything in your order. It’s a better deal overall.”

    Customer: “Liar! It doesn’t say that anywhere! The manager at your other location lets me do this all the time!”

    Me: “No, he’s pretty strict about company policy. I’m positive he wouldn’t double up on coupons. Look here at the fine print: ‘Only one coupon per item.’”

    Customer: “You are a filthy liar trying to cheat me out of my hard-earned money! What is your name?”

    Me: “…my name, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I’m going to report you to corporate and you’re going to lose your job! What is your name?!”

    Me: “My name is [name], ma’am.”

    Customer: “[Name], got it. You’re going to be sorry!”

    (She snatches both her coupons away, and stomps toward the door. As she storms by the line of customers behind her, another customer pipes up.)

    Other Customer: “What a lovely Christian attitude you had talking to that cashier! That’s DEFINITELY what Jesus would have done!”

    (The angry customer goes beet red and flees. I never see her again, and no, she never called corporate to complain.)

    No ID, No Idea, Part 12

    | Rapid City, SD, USA | Money, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at a water park about 20 minutes from Mt. Rushmore, so we have a lot of tourism. We have a gift shop that also allows you to rent towels and lifejackets. In order to rent, you must keep your ID with us. This is so you can remember to return items rented. A tour bus pulls up with a group from the local reservation, as well as a family from another state.)

    Tour Bus Customer: “Hi, I want to rent four towels and a lifejacket for my daughter please.”

    Me: “Certainly! Let me get your daughter in this jacket, and it will $27 with $11 as the deposit. We also need to hold your ID until we get these back.”

    Tour Bus Customer: “Sure, no problem.”

    (The tour bus customer yells to his wife to give him his wallet and hands me cash and his ID. This goes on for another few groups from the bus, and finally the group from another state is left.)

    Out-of-state Customer: “My family needs three towels.”

    Me: “Sure! It will be $15 with $6 deposit, and your ID, sir.”

    Out-of-state Customer: “What?! I most certainly will not! Your sign says $3 for rentals, and you will not have my ID, because that’s how identity theft happens.”

    Me: “I could understand your concern, but I do not touch the IDs. They stay in this little safe under the counter to prevent that. I only open it to retrieve the IDs. As for the rentals, it does say $3, but there is an additional $2 deposit. I guarantee you your money back; the ID is just something to make you remember to bring our stuff back. If you truly are concerned, I could have my manager hold it, or I’ll make an exception and you could leave $20 and still get $11 back.”

    Out-of-state Customer: “I most certainly will not do either. I expect to pay $9 and no higher. And my ID stays with me.”

    Me: “I understand, really. But your ID is safe, and you have to pay a deposit or I can’t rent to you.”

    Out-of-state Customer: “I will do no such thing!”

    (At this point, the out-of-state customer is starting to get angry, and is sliding things from the counter to the floor.)

    Tour Bus Customer: “Listen, sir, your ID is safe with the lady, and if you continue to disrespect her, you will be forced out off the area and banned from any lands around.”

    (The out-of-state customer turns to face the tour bus customer, who stands at 6’6″, about 275 lbs, and all muscle. Luckily, I know him, as he is my uncle’s best friend.)

    Out-of-state Customer: *stammers* “Uh, fine.”

    (The out-of-state customer throws in the cash and his ID, and takes off into the park.)

    Tour Bus Customer: “Let me know if he gives you any more trouble today.”

    (Thankfully, I think the out-of-state customer was scared straight, as his daughter came back only for the ID, and told me to keep the deposit as a tip!)

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 11
    No ID, No Idea, Part 10
    No ID, No Idea, Part 9

    Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3

    | Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Canada, Geography, Money, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at a gift shop in Canada, just beside the US border, so we usually have a lot of American tourists. Our gift shop is one of the only places in the area that lets a customer perform their transactions in US currency.)

    Customer: “Do you take real money?”

    Me: *confused* “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “Real money!”

    (The customer holds up US currency.)

    Me: “Oh, yes we take Canadian or American, and we’ll give you American change back if we have some in the till.”

    Customer: “Good, you people here are weird about your money.”

    Related:
    Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 2
    Loonie Over A Toonie


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