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    Category: Money

    Her Number Has Been (Tali)Banned

    , | USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money, Politics

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; my name is [Name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I’d like to go over my bill; it’s higher than normal! Why are you double charging me!?”

    Me: “Alright, let me pull up the bill and I’ll help you with that. I see here that we have voice overage of 347 minutes totaling $138.80. Add that to your regular bill and the taxes involved and that’s why it’s so high. Would you like me to increase your plan allowance to prevent this in the future? I see based on an analysis of your account that this seems to be happening every mo—”

    Caller: “No, I want you to credit that back to me! I’ve been with [Company] for 30 years! You owe me at least that for all the money I’ve spent for your services.”

    (I note that she’s been with us for nine months, the last six of which she has gone over her allowance, and the last five of which she has received a credit for. Based on notes, it was because she was persistent and demanding and it was done to get her off the phone.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I understand how frustrating this can be; however in the last five months you have received credits for your overages. You’ve been advised of how to know when you’re going over, and based on that, it’s only $20 more for the next tier of minutes. Considering your overages, I’d be willing to rerate you as if you had been on that plan and issue a credit back, except for the increased minutes, but this will be the last credit issued on the account for overages.”

    Caller: “No, I don’t want to pay for that other plan! I’m not increasing it! Oh for crying out loud, hold on!”

    (In the background I can hear her clearly working at a clothing store.)

    Caller: *to someone else* “Oh these shirts are buy two get one free, so if you grab another, one of these will be free. Mm-hmm! Okay, bye-bye!”

    (The customer then returns to our call.)

    Caller: “Okay, so I want you to credit the overages back for me, but I’m not going to increase my plan.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I couldn’t help overhearing, but you have a deal going on at your store?”

    Caller: “Oh, yes! You can buy two shirts and get a third free! It’s really a great deal!”

    Me: “So if I came up to the counter and put four shirts on the counter, how many would you charge me for?”

    Caller: “Well, three of them of course.”

    Me: “But I only want to pay for the two.”

    Caller: “You’d have to get another shirt and then you can get a second free, but the deal only comes with one free shirt for every two you buy.”

    Me: “Just like your plan; it comes with 450 minutes. You want the other 347 for free, but that’s not included in the deal. So if you want those minutes, you have to pay for them.”

    Caller: “You’re just trying to trick me!”

    Me: “Not at all, ma’am; I’m just explaining it another way. Your deal is that two shirts get you one free. Your cell phone plan is 450 minutes included, but anything else is overage… but if you go to the 900 minute plan, it’d be $20 more, and save you money because you would get those extra minutes you’ve been charged in overage included. So your option is this: increase the plan, or no credit. At all. You’ve been credited five months straight, but I am not going to issue a penny unless you take action to prevent further overages.”

    Caller: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER! YOUR CUSTOMER SERVICE IS TERRIBLE! I HOPE THE TALIBAN KILLS YOUR FAMILY!”

    Me: “Really? You’re going to threaten my family because you refuse to take responsibility for your own overages? Sure, here’s my manager.”

    (My manager has been listening because as soon as the caller started screaming I had flagged him over. He takes over.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, I am from Iran. I watched the Taliban kill my two sons because they wouldn’t join. You want me to issue a credit after making that kind of a threat? No. I’ve flagged your account. You will receive no further credits. Pay your bill through the automated system before the fifteenth to avoid a late fee, which also will not be credited. Goodbye.”

    (The manager hangs up on the customer without another word, and turns to me.)

    Manager: “Go on break.”

    (The customer called in twenty more times before she finally cancelled her services due to discrimination claims, stating that my manager and I threatened to come to her store and beat her up if she didn’t pay. The charges were overturned after the call was reviewed.)

    Giving The Homeless A Fair Deal

    | BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a popular sandwich shop on the main strip of our town. Every once in a while, we run certain deals.)

    Me: “Hey there! What can I make for you this evening?”

    Customer: “I want a foot-long ham. That’s part of the deal, right?”

    Me: “No, just [sub #1], [sub #2], and [sub #3].”

    Customer: “Okay. I’ll get a meatball.”

    Me: “That’s not one of the deals.”

    Customer: “It’s fine, whatever.”

    (I should note that our town has quite a few homeless people. Most of them are quite friendly and always come in and buy things. One of the nicer ones is drinking a coffee at the front of the store. I finish making the sandwich and ring the guy in.)

    Me: “So that’ll be [price].”

    Customer: “WHAT!? I don’t want it if it’s not part of the deal! You told me it was part of the deal!”

    Me: “I told you explicitly that it was not part of the deal.”

    Customer: “Well I don’t even want it!”

    (The customer drops the sandwich on the counter, and I turn to the regular homeless man.)

    Me: “Hey [Name], you want a free meatball sub?”

    Homeless Regular: “Heck yeah!”

    (The customer grumbles about wanting free food, and scurries off.)

    Check Out With A Check

    | Fort Lauderdale, FL, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a small, boutique hotel. At about 6:15 am, a guest comes up to the desk to check out.)

    Me: “How was your stay, ma’am?”

    Guest: “Great!”

    Me: “I see that there was a cash deposit on the room. Unfortunately, as you were told at check-in, we are not able to process the deposit at this time, as it is locked in the safe, and the person who can open it will not be here until 9 am. I apologize for the inconvenience.”

    Guest: “That’s unacceptable! I can’t believe you are refusing to give me my money! I am going to complain to Corporate. Now give me my money!”

    Me: “I am sorry, but I as I just explained to you, I am unable to do that at this time.”

    Guest: “I don’t care! What a rip-off! You will give me my money now! I am not coming back to this h***-hole!”

    Me: “No problem; we will send a check to the address we have on file.”

    Me: “That’s not acceptable! I demand you f****** crooks give me my money!”

    (This goes on for another 10 minutes; every time I try to explain the issues, she cuts me off. Finally, I have had enough.)

    Me: *firmly* “Madam! If you would allow me to finish, the only guest we have on record for that room is a 32-year-old man. Is Mr. [Name] with you?”

    Guest: “No! He said I could get it for him. Now give me my money!”

    Me: “In that case, ma’am, I’m afraid you just don’t get it.”

    Guest: ” Listen, fat-a**. Give me my money, or I’ll break your face!”

    Me: “We have no authority to let anyone besides the registered guest receive those funds, after the room has been inspected, and the safe has been opened. Now, this conversation is over! Please leave the property before I call the police to have you removed.”

    (My boss has just come in, and he also orders her off the property. When she tries to go after him, he instructs me to call 911. We finally get her to leave before the police arrive. My boss turns to me.)

    Boss: “You’re too patient! She’s probably a hooker trying to score herself a tip! Call 911 first next time!”

    This Scam Gets Top Billing

    | Buckinghamshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer walks up to my till with his items and hands me a £50 note. I immediately become suspicious as the transaction total is only £7.50.)

    Me: “Okay, that’s £7.50, and here’s your change.”

    (I always count up the change I take out of the till.)

    Me: “So that’s £20, £20, £1, £1, 50p, totaling £42.50, right?”

    (The customer takes the money and starts to walk out. My manager, who is nearby, sees the customer pocket something. While looking towards me, my manager points to his office before he disappears. I am about to serve the next customer when my original customer comes back up to me.)

    Customer: “Sorry, you seem to have only given me £22.50.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. But I know I counted out £42.50 exactly.”

    (The customer then places the £22.50 back on the counter and empties his front pockets.)

    Customer: “See, only £22.50. Can I have my other £20 back please?”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t open the till for that without a manager’s authorization. It’s against company—”

    Customer: “But this next customer is paying by cash, so you can just take it out then, can’t you?”

    Me: “No, that would be negligence on my part as I would be removing too much money from the till during that transaction, and it would not show up on our register logs.”

    (The customer then steps aside and lets the next customer come to the till. The first customer then starts insulting me in front of the other customers.)

    Customer: “You thief! You b****!”

    (I process the next customer’s items and then take his cash and open the till drawer.)

    Customer: “See? It’s open now and you won’t give me my £20 that you stole from me!”

    (The customer reaches over towards the till drawer.)

    Me: “Sir, I told you I need a manager before I can process that!”

    (I slam the till drawer closed before the customer can get near it. I then hand the next customer his change, who thanks me and leaves. I turn back to the first customer, whose face seems to be getting redder and redder.)

    Customer: “How long are you going to keep me here?!”

    (Just then, the phone next to my till rings, with the display showing ‘MANAGER.’)

    Me: *to the customer* “Just a second, sir.”

    Manager: *to me over the phone* “The customer has hidden the missing £20 in his back pocket.”

    (I try not to smile as I put the phone back down and my manager appears from the office. I turn to the customer and speak loudly enough that the other customers in line can hear.)

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but my manager has told me I cannot open the till to give you your £20 back, because you have it in your right back pocket.”

    Customer: *flustered* “T-that’s a lie! How d-dare you, you f*****!”

    Me: “Sir, I’ve been told to ask you to leave before we call the police.”

    (At this point I have my finger on the panic button, and he can visibly see that. He quickly gathers up his change from the counter and runs out of the store yelling profanities at my manager and me. The next customer, an elderly lady, walks up.)

    Elderly Lady: *laughing* “Even I counted it out when you did and got the same amount, and I tell you, that’s a feat at my age!”

    Bedraggle Their Haggle

    | Norway | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Money

    (My local grocery store is in a neighborhood with a lot of children, and right next to a primary school, so there’s a lot of kids going there on their own. I end up in line behind two boys, around 10 years old. They are counting their money.)

    Boy #1: “I think we’re short.”

    Boy #2: “It’ll be fine. We can get it for less; I’ve done it before.”

    Cashier: *to the boys* “That’ll be [price].”

    Boy #2: “We have [slightly lower amount]. That’s enough right?”

    Cashier: “Sorry, it’s not.”

    Boy #1: “Oh, please?”

    Boy #2: “Yeah, it’s not that much.”

    (While it’s a very small amount of money, I understand the cashier’s reluctance. The boys continue to haggle. Seeing this will go nowhere, I decide to step in.)

    Me: “Here, I’ll pay the difference.”

    (The boys thank me and leave.)

    Cashier: “Thank you! It’s not a lot of money, but we have so many groups trying to haggle every day. It’s okay once in a while, but if I let all of them get away with it, my till would be short every day, and I can’t do that.”

    Me: “It’s no problem. I’ve been here just after schools out. Sometimes it looks like half the kids there stop by on their way home.”

    Cashier: *chuckles* “Sometimes it feels like that, too!”

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