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    Category: Money

    Acting An Oaf About The Loaf, Part 2

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a fast food sandwich chain. Our location is in a gas station, so we don’t prepare as much bread or produce as other large restaurants. Because of this, on busy days we tend to run out of certain kinds of bread.)

    Customer: “Hi, can I get a [sandwich type] on cheese bread?”

    Me: “Sure thing. Unfortunately, I’m all out of cheese bread at the moment. We’ve been pretty busy. Can I offer you something else?”

    Customer: “So I guess that means the sandwich is free then, eh?”

    Me: “Why would it be free?”

    Customer: “Because you don’t have my favorite bread. That’s my favorite bread, and you haven’t got it. That’s a big problem. I’m a regular here; I own the pizza place down the road and I’m always here.”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, but we haven’t got any cheese bread at the moment. We’re in the process of baking more bread. If you want to wait a while, I can make you your sandwich with the bread you want.”

    Customer: “NO! That’s unacceptable! I’m the customer and you’re supposed to serve me what I WANT! Where is your f****** manager?”

    Me: “He isn’t in at the moment, sir. He’s here in the mornings.”

    Customer: “Get him on the phone, NOW! I want to speak to him so I can tell him how to run a f****** business!”

    Me: “You own the pizza place down the road, right?”

    Customer: “That’s right! And we always have everything a customer wants!”

    Me: “Let me ask you something: if a customer came in and asked for a slice of pepperoni pizza, and you were so busy that you didn’t have any, and he acted the way that you’re acting right now, would you serve him or would you kick him out?”

    (He shut up after that and left. I came in the next morning to find a formal complaint from the head office, because of him. My boss ripped it up and gave me a pat on the back. I never saw that customer again.)

    Related:
    Acting An Oaf About The Loaf

    Profit And Hair Loss

    | MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Money

    (We’ve had trouble keeping business up, as our location is right next to a larger chain. On a particularly slow day, I’m confused when I see a young man come in with his entire head shaved nearly flat.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; you may not still have me on file. I was here about 14 months ago.”

    (I look him up.)

    Me: “Yeah, you’re still on file; how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t know what to do with my dad’s hairline. It was starting to look like a bad comb over, and you guys convinced me to shave everything.”

    Me: “Yeah.”

    Customer: “Well, now that I have a razor and can do it myself, I realized that’s $14 a month you could be making. Can I just pay for a haircut, you don’t do anything, and you can just take the money?”

    (After blinking for a moment, I consult my manager, who clears the sale. The customer insists on full price.)

    Me: “Thanks, glad it worked out for you.”

    Customer: “Thanks a million. [Competitor] made it look like crap. I just felt bad, you know? You lose the rest of my sales because you actually know what the heck you’re doing.”

    (The customer even tipped well, which made our day. The other stylists and I were sharing the story all week.)

    An Unlikely Story

    | WA, Australia | Books & Reading, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I have been checking books back in that have been left on our returns desk and come across a new book that has been badly damaged by what looks to be coffee. When the patron comes back to the circulation desk, I show her the book.)

    Me: “Good morning! I’ll check those out for you in just a moment. Unfortunately because this book has been damaged quite badly, we won’t be able to have it in our collection any more. The replacement cost will be [dollar amount]; are you able to pay now or should I send an invoice out?”

    Patron: “Oh, it was like that when I took it out!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we’d never loan something in that condition, and as it was on your membership, you are liable for the damage done to it while on loan.”

    Patron: “I didn’t do it! You can’t prove I did it! It must have been the person before me! I won’t pay! It’s been like that for ages.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a new book. We only got it last month and the only person to have it before you was I. And I can assure you, I didn’t spill coffee on this book.”

    (There is a long pause.)

    Patron: “Um, how much was it?”

    Getting All Hancocked Over A Benjamin

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I am ringing up a customer. After I tell him his total, he decides to continue shopping. He tries to hand me a $100 bill, but I tell him to hold on to it until he’s done shopping. I watch him shove it in his pocket. A few minutes later, he comes back with a second item.)

    Me: “Your total today is $32.44.”

    (The customer grabs the bag and begins to walk away.)

    Me: “Sir, you still need to pay for your purchase. It’s $32.44.”

    Customer: “I already gave you $100!”

    Me: “No, I asked you to hold on to your money until you finished shopping.”

    Customer: “Nu-uh, you put it in the register.”

    Me: “Sir, it’s in your right pants pocket.”

    (He reaches in, pulls out the bill, and hastily shoves it back in his pocket.)

    Customer: “I saw you take it! Hey everyone! This b**** stole my money!”

    Me: “Sir, I assure you that your money is in your pocket.”

    Customer: “Nah, f*** you, b****! Give me back my money!”

    (He then comes over the counter at me as I’m dialing security. I give him my ‘don’t mess with me’ glare and he backs off, but moves on to threatening the other customers, saying they were all on it and that one of them has his money. Security finally arrives and escorts him out, banning him from the premises.)

    Related:
    Getting All Hancocked Over A Lincoln

    Less Scam Artists, More Scam Finger-Painters

    | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a small specialty retail shop. It is the beginning of the day, so we only have $70 in each of the two cash registers, mostly change with a handful of $5 and $1 bills. Two customers come in and browse around, getting only a few small items each. They are the first customers of the day on my register. The first one gives me a $20 bill for a $4.79 purchase. I put the bill on top of the drawer, and count the change back to her.)

    Customer: “You’re giving me the wrong change. I gave you a $50 bill.”

    (I haven’t closed the register, and am just putting the $20 in its slot, so I show the customer the bill.)

    Me: “No, you gave me a $20 bill, right here.”

    Customer: “No, I know I gave you a $50 bill.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it was a $20 bill. You’re my first customer, and this is the only $20 bill, and there are no $50 bills at all.”

    Customer: “You must have put it into the safe slot.”

    Me: “We don’t have one of those. Here, have a look.”

    (I pull the drawer out, and show the customer the contents and the space underneath it.)

    Me: “There’s no $50 bill anywhere. And no other bills over $5.”

    (The customer’s friend decides to intervene.)

    Customer’s Friend: “Don’t worry; it’s okay.”

    (They exchange looks, and the first customer rolls her eyes.)

    Customer: “Okay then, well, no point in making a scene about it.”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    (I check out the friend’s small purchase, who gives me a $50 bill. I give her the change and they both turn to leave. On the way out, the friend whispers to the first customer…)

    Customer’s Friend: “You were supposed to let me check out first!”

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