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    Category: Money

    Nothing Worth Mentioning

    | Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Money, Transportation

    (A man brings his minivan in to our shop for a suspected power steering leak. He is not sure exactly what’s leaking, but he saw a lot of red fluid underneath his car. After the mechanic finds the leak I call the customer.)

    Me: “We found that one of the hoses was starting to crack at a bend. The dealer is the only one that has this part available in town. The part is $185, the labour for replacing the hose is rated at an hour which is $110, the diagnosis time is $49, taxes etc. will bring the total repair to $368.00.”

    Customer: “I understand the part and the labour costs, but I don’t necessarily see the need for a diagnosis. Couldn’t you have found out what was leaking without diagnosing it? That’s $50 for nothing, really.”

    Me: “Well… we could replace all the power steering parts for about $2500, or we could find out exactly what is leaking and just fix that. What would you prefer?”

    (He opted for the $368.00 repair that included a ‘$50 for nothing, really’ diagnosis.)

    Freedom Isn’t Free

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work at a wholesale club and every few months we give out free 90 day trials in lieu of paying for a membership. I have just finished explaining our offer to a customer.)

    Me: “So, did you want to try our paid membership or just get the 90 day free trial?”

    Customer: “I have a question.”

    Me: “Okay. What’s your question?”

    Customer: “This is completely free?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Customer: “So, you mean to tell me that for 90 days I can come in here, and get anything I want for free?”

    (I pause and look at them for a second, and I ask her to repeat her question, which she does.)

    Me: “Ma’am, only the membership is free. You still have to pay for the items.”

    Customer: “Well, that is just false advertising. You all shouldn’t say something is free if you still have to pay for it.

    (She stormed off and I sat there wondering what just happened.)

    Driving Himself Into A Ditch

    | USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money, Transportation

    (I’m at court filing documents for a client when I overhear a judge’s assistant speaking with a man waiting in the lobby behind me.)

    JA: “I’m sorry, sir, but the judge isn’t willing to do anything about the towing costs.”

    Defendant: “What?”

    JA: “You’re going to have to pay these yourself.”

    Defendant: “But… no! He can’t do that!”

    JA: “Sir, there’s nothing he can do. He’s already waived all your court costs. The tow is your responsibility.”

    Defendant: “But what about me going to jail over not paying these?!”

    JA: “You have four outstanding warrants in three states! You were driving on a suspended license! You should have been arrested on the spot!”

    Defendant: “But he has to make these go away or I’ll go to jail!”

    JA: “Sir, you should BE in jail. We did not make you drive on a suspended license. I called the DMV and you’re even flagged in THEIR system! At some point you have to take responsibility for your actions. I really don’t know how you’re not in jail right now.”

    Defendant: “FINE! But I’m still owed a bond by you people!”

    JA: “Okay. I can get that to you, but that person is out today. Will you be in town tomorrow to pick it up or would you like me to mail it?”

    Defendant: “Nah, I’ll just drive here.”

    JA: “… You’ll… drive here? Yourself?”

    Defendant: “Yeah, that’s what I said.”

    JA: “Sir, could you please take a seat? I’m going to need to grab somebody to come talk to you.”

    Defendant: “Finally!”

    (The clerk and I, who had been listening in disbelief the entire time, watch as the JA walked over to the bailiff and explained the situation. I left when the handcuffs came out.)

    Funny Money

    , | LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am working in the drive thru lane. A car with two women in it pulls up. Both look strung out, like they are on drugs.)

    Me: “That’ll be [total].”

    (The driver doesn’t say anything to me but pulls a bill out of her wallet, smells it carefully, then nods to herself.)

    Customer: “Okay. This one’s good.”

    (She hands me the money and I try not to be too obvious that I’m very gingerly handling it. I washed my hands after they left, just in case!)

    Sound Of The Penny Dropping

    | London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, History, Money

    (We get a lot of people call us up when they find old banknotes and coins. Mostly, they’re worthless.)

    Customer: “I’ve found a really old £1 note, and I want to know if it’s worth anything?”

    Colleague: “Is there a signature on the front?”

    Customer: “It’s ‘DHF Somerset.’”

    Colleague: “Ah, well, that note was produced in the early 1980s. It’s not worth anything.”

    Customer: “No, it’s much earlier than that! It has the dates ’1642 to 1727′ on the back, and a picture of Isaac Newton. That’s very old!”

    Colleague: “Those are the dates he was alive. Besides, if it was produced back then, they couldn’t have put a picture of the current Queen on the front. Could they?”

    Customer: “Oh…”

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