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    Category: Money

    Finally Sees Cents

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Math & Science, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (The price of the fuel has gone up, from $0.537 cents per litre, to $0.539 cents per litre. We always change the outside signs BEFORE we change the price on the pump. A customer pulls up just as the price is changing. She fills her car with fuel and pays. She turns to leave, then looks at her receipt. She returns to the counter.)

    Customer: “Um, excuse me, but you have ripped me off. You have charged me the wrong price.”

    Me: I’m sorry? Let me take a look at the receipt.

    (I look at the receipt, and it clearly shows the price as being $0.539 cents per litre. She had purchased 25 litres.)

    Customer: “See, it’s the wrong price. You are rip-off merchants. You have stolen my money!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the price is correct, I’m unsure as to what you are referring.”

    Customer: “When I drove in, the pump said 53.7 and then you charge me 53.9 cents a litre! That’s extortion!”

    Me: “Well, actually the signs outside clearly indicate the price, and the pumps had just changed as you pulled up.”

    Customer: “So you admit it! You have ripped me off! I want to see the manager!”

    Me: “I am the manager, ma’am. For the inconvenience, I shall refund you the difference.”

    (I hand her the five cents.)

    Customer: “Seriously? I’m not stupid you know! It’s a lot more than just five cents!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, you purchased 25 litres yes?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “The price went from 53.7 CENTS a litre to 53.9 CENTS a litre?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “So 25 multiplied by .2 of a cent equates to 5 cents.”

    (Red faced and obviously extremely mortified, the customer raced out of the store without so much as a ‘sorry!’)

    Paying The Price Of Stupidity

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Theme Of The Month, Top

    Customer: “What is the price of this?”

    Me: *looking at price sticker* “It’s $20.”

    Customer: “I thought things here were discounted?”

    Me: “They are.” *I point to the price tag* “The original price was $100.”

    (The customer points to the sticker with item’s model number printed on it.)

    Customer: “That’s the price there.”

    Me: “No. That’s the model number.”

    Customer: “That’s the price, $3.85.”

    Me: “No. There is no dollar sign in front of the number. It’s not the price, it’s the model number.”

    Customer: “It’s clearly printed and it’s the price. You have to give it to me at that price, just as it’s written.”

    Me: “Okay. You’ve got me. That’ll be $385, please.”

    Customer: “What? Why? You can’t charge me that much!”

    Me: “Well, you wanted the price to be just as it’s written, even though there is no dollar sign and it’s not on our normal price sticker. I need to point out that there is also no decimal point between the 3 and the 8.”

    (The customer paid the $20.)

    Didn’t See The Kicker

    | Pensacola, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (My girlfriend is a cashier, and I am a customer in her line. There’s a customer in front of me, giving her a hard time. He writes a check and hands it to her.)

    Girlfriend: “I’m sorry, sir, but our system has declined your check.”

    Customer: “What? I’m a millionaire! That’s not possible!”

    Girlfriend: “Well, actually, I think it’s because the license and check are from different states. It’s to prevent identity theft.”

    Customer: “Well, thank you for nothing, worthless b****! I know you did this on purpose!”

    Girlfriend: “Sir, I can assure you I didn’t. Now. Do you have another form of payment?”

    Customer: “No! You d*** b****! You’re just being totally worthless! Why don’t we take this out to the parking lot?”

    Me: “Oh, can I film that?”

    Girlfriend: *smiling* “Absolutely.”

    Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about?”

    Me: “Oh, didn’t you know? She’s a championship kickboxer. I just want to film her kicking your a**.”

    (The customer huffs and stomps away.)

    Girlfriend: “Aw, why did you scare him off? I was looking forward to that.”

    His Account Just Got Axed

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Money, Technology, Wild & Unruly

    Me: “Welcome to [Bank]. This is [Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “This d*** ATM wont give me my money, and now it’s eaten my card! I want you to get it back! NOW!”

    Me: “Okay, sir. May I have you member number please?”

    (The customer confirms the details.)

    Me: “I can see here, sir, that you have used another bank’s ATM, and that you entered the wrong PIN three times?”

    Customer: “It’s not my d*** fault I got my cards mixed up. Just get my card back!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, sir, we are unable to access that machine for you. It does not belong to our bank, and you have used a machine that is not attached to another bank branch, so the card has been cancelled. I can order a new one straight away, but I need to advise you that there will be a fee.”

    Customer: “No. YOU will get my card back right now, or I will go to my car, get my axe, and chop up this machine!”

    Me: “Okay, sir. Go ahead.”

    Customer: “What, what…? But I said that I’m going to get an axe!”

    Me: “I know you did, on someone else’s ATM, so it doesn’t really affect us does it? I should let you know that I have made notes of the threat you just made, though.”

    Customer: “I’ll close all my accounts! I’ll go to the branch right now.”

    Me: “You WILL close your accounts, sir. And I see from your notes that this was your final warning about threatening behavior. However, I suggest that you don’t approach any branch or staff member again, as you apparently have an axe. The police will be notified the moment you step foot in any of our branches. You will be sent a cheque in the mail. Thank you for calling [Bank].”

    Understanding In All But Name

    | IN, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “Hi! What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I need to cash my check.”

    Me: “Sure! I’ll need to see your ID please.”

    Customer: “Why? It’s MY check!”

    Me: “I understand, but I’ve never waited on you before. I need to verify that it is your check.”

    Customer: “But it’s MY check!”

    Me: “But I don’t know that. I don’t know you.”

    Customer: “It has my NAME on it!”

    Me: “But I don’t know your name. I’ve never waited on you before. I have to make sure that the right person gets their money.”

    Customer: “My name is on the check!”

    Me: “Ma’am, what if you dropped the check outside and someone else brought it in to cash? Would you want me to cash it for them?”

    Customer: “No, because they aren’t me!”

    Me: “How would I know that?”

    Customer: “Because MY name is on the check!”

    Me: *sighs*

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