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    Category: Money

    Returns From The Dead

    , | Pasadena, MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology, Transportation

    (At the auto parts store I work for we offer free battery charging for any car/truck/boat batteries as long as they do not test bad.)

    Customer: “I’d like to get this battery charged please.”

    Me: “Okay, let me just test it real quick.”

    (This battery looks like crap, but it’s not leaking so I go ahead and test it.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this battery is not good. It has a bad cell in it. I can’t charge it.”

    Customer: “What do you mean it’s bad?! This battery is pretty much new. You need to charge anyway.”

    Me: “Not gonna happen. It is actually dangerous if I try to charge this.”

    Customer: “I demand you charge this right NOW!”

    Me: “No. Your battery is dead; no amount of charging is going to bring it back. You will need to get a replacme—”

    Customer: “I SAID, CHARGE IT!”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Well, I demand to—”

    Me: “I am the manager. I will NOT charge this battery. It has a bad cell, and there is no way this battery is anywhere near new. Judging by the inch worth of grease around the case and the ungodly level of corrosion on the terminals, I would say this battery is at least 7-8 years old. And If I were to attempt to charge this over sized paperweight, there is a chance it could explode and cause serious damage to the people around it.”

    Customer: “But—”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “But—”

    Me: “Not happening.”

    Customer: “Crap… but I can’t afford a new battery.”

    Me: “Look, give me a chance to check the back. We do have a used battery program, and I may have one in stock.”

    (I walk in the back and find a used battery that fits the customer’s car.)

    Me: “I found this one in the back. Now it is classified as used, but that just means that someone returned a battery with no problems to it, but we can no longer sell it new.”

    Customer: *brightens* “Really? How much?”

    Me: “$43.”

    Customer: “Really? That’s great! I was worried that I was going to have to spend hundreds on a new battery. Thank you so much!” *buys battery and leaves*

    Me: *to coworker* “Why do people always demand we bring dead things back to life?”

    Coworker: “I don’t know, but let me know when you figure out how to do that.”

    A Chequered Credit History

    | GA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (We had just stopped taking checks the day before. A customer walks in, and starts writing a check.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t accept checks. You can pay with cash, or a debit or credit card.”

    Customer: “Do you know who I am? My family has owned ALL of the pharmacies here in town for the last hundred years!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Our system won’t allow checks. You’ll have to pay with another option.”

    Customer: “My family has more money than this whole mall!”

    (The customer then pulls out a credit card to pay.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Your card was declined.”

    (The customer walked out of the store without saying another word.)

    Listening Is The Ticket

    | NH, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a family amusement park in New Hampshire, where gambling is illegal. We have a fake casino amongst our arcades, but it gives out tickets, not money.)

    Guest: “How do I buy these prizes?”

    Me: “You have to win tickets from the machine and use them to purchase the prizes.”

    Guest: “I can’t just buy them?”

    Me: “No, sorry. Game prizes are not for sale.”

    (A little later…)

    Guest: “I played all these games and I got tickets instead of money! You said I’d get money! Where is my money, you b****?”

    Me: “I’m sorry if there was a miscommunication, sir. I said you’d get tickets and that you could use them to get prizes.”

    Guest: “Is this a f****** joke?!”

    (He threw the tickets in my face, spit on the floor, and stormed out, dragging his very young son after him, who had seen and experienced this whole tantrum.)

    Girl Scout Tout

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

    (As a Girl Scout, we have no control over the price of Girl Scout cookies. They have gone up to $4 for around two years now.)

    Me: “Would you like to buy any Girl Scout cookies?”

    Lady: “Yes, I love Girl Scout cookies! How much are they?”

    Me: “They are $4 a box, ma’am.”

    Lady: “YOU’RE LYING TO ME! MY DAUGHTER USED TO SELL THEM FOR $3.50!”

    Me: “Ma’am, they have been $4 now for around two years. That is the price and we have no control over it.”

    Lady: “You are just trying to make some extra cash! My daughter used to charge 50 cents extra all the time! Now give me the real price!”

    Me: “That was against the rules, and we have never done that! If you refuse to pay the full price, we cannot sell cookies to you!”

    Lady: “FINE! Do you take checks?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, we do! What would you like?”

    Lady: “I want two boxes of cookies! NOW!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. That will be $8.”

    (She gives us a check, takes the cookies, and walks away. As I look at the check I notice it is only for $7! I run after the lady.)

    Me: “Excuse me! We need another dollar!”

    Lady: “F*** you! You are just cheating me!”

    (She backs up in her car, almost hits me, and throws a dollar out the window! Then she races out of the parking lot!)

    Telltale Sign of A Good Teller

    | OH, USA | Bigotry, Money

    (I am only 19 when I start working for a large financial institution. After almost two years experience with the bank, at 21, I am still the youngest employee in the branch. I am working in the lobby with another teller who has just transferred into a branch after her position was eliminated in the back office, since she was within a year of retirement age.)

    Me: *to customer waiting in line* “Hi. How are you doing today? What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “I have a question about this transaction. I think I should probably wait for the other teller.”

    Me: “Are you sure? I would be more than happy to help you with your transaction.”

    Customer: “I think the other teller would be able to help with this. I don’t think you would know the answer. She’s been here longer so knows more than you do.”

    Me: “If you would prefer to wait for [coworker], you are more than welcome to.”

    (My coworker is still trying to get used to our DOS based system. I proceed to help the next four customers waiting in line. By the time the customer goes to my coworker’s window, I am just finishing up with the fifth and last customer in the line.)

    Customer: “I have a question about a transaction that was on my overdraft protection account. Can you look into what happened?”

    Coworker: “[My Name], how do I look that up?”

    Me: “Go into [system acronym] and type in the command [more acronyms]. The account summary will be the first screen and the history is on the next.”

    (The customer stares silently.)

    Me: “I guess I would have been able to help you after all, sir.”

    (At least he had the good sense to look a bit sheepish after that.)

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