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    Category: Money

    Giving The Homeless A Fair Deal

    | BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a popular sandwich shop on the main strip of our town. Every once in a while, we run certain deals.)

    Me: “Hey there! What can I make for you this evening?”

    Customer: “I want a foot-long ham. That’s part of the deal, right?”

    Me: “No, just [sub #1], [sub #2], and [sub #3].”

    Customer: “Okay. I’ll get a meatball.”

    Me: “That’s not one of the deals.”

    Customer: “It’s fine, whatever.”

    (I should note that our town has quite a few homeless people. Most of them are quite friendly and always come in and buy things. One of the nicer ones is drinking a coffee at the front of the store. I finish making the sandwich and ring the guy in.)

    Me: “So that’ll be [price].”

    Customer: “WHAT!? I don’t want it if it’s not part of the deal! You told me it was part of the deal!”

    Me: “I told you explicitly that it was not part of the deal.”

    Customer: “Well I don’t even want it!”

    (The customer drops the sandwich on the counter, and I turn to the regular homeless man.)

    Me: “Hey [Name], you want a free meatball sub?”

    Homeless Regular: “Heck yeah!”

    (The customer grumbles about wanting free food, and scurries off.)

    Check Out With A Check

    | Fort Lauderdale, FL, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a small, boutique hotel. At about 6:15 am, a guest comes up to the desk to check out.)

    Me: “How was your stay, ma’am?”

    Guest: “Great!”

    Me: “I see that there was a cash deposit on the room. Unfortunately, as you were told at check-in, we are not able to process the deposit at this time, as it is locked in the safe, and the person who can open it will not be here until 9 am. I apologize for the inconvenience.”

    Guest: “That’s unacceptable! I can’t believe you are refusing to give me my money! I am going to complain to Corporate. Now give me my money!”

    Me: “I am sorry, but I as I just explained to you, I am unable to do that at this time.”

    Guest: “I don’t care! What a rip-off! You will give me my money now! I am not coming back to this h***-hole!”

    Me: “No problem; we will send a check to the address we have on file.”

    Me: “That’s not acceptable! I demand you f****** crooks give me my money!”

    (This goes on for another 10 minutes; every time I try to explain the issues, she cuts me off. Finally, I have had enough.)

    Me: *firmly* “Madam! If you would allow me to finish, the only guest we have on record for that room is a 32-year-old man. Is Mr. [Name] with you?”

    Guest: “No! He said I could get it for him. Now give me my money!”

    Me: “In that case, ma’am, I’m afraid you just don’t get it.”

    Guest: ” Listen, fat-a**. Give me my money, or I’ll break your face!”

    Me: “We have no authority to let anyone besides the registered guest receive those funds, after the room has been inspected, and the safe has been opened. Now, this conversation is over! Please leave the property before I call the police to have you removed.”

    (My boss has just come in, and he also orders her off the property. When she tries to go after him, he instructs me to call 911. We finally get her to leave before the police arrive. My boss turns to me.)

    Boss: “You’re too patient! She’s probably a hooker trying to score herself a tip! Call 911 first next time!”

    This Scam Gets Top Billing

    | Buckinghamshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer walks up to my till with his items and hands me a £50 note. I immediately become suspicious as the transaction total is only £7.50.)

    Me: “Okay, that’s £7.50, and here’s your change.”

    (I always count up the change I take out of the till.)

    Me: “So that’s £20, £20, £1, £1, 50p, totaling £42.50, right?”

    (The customer takes the money and starts to walk out. My manager, who is nearby, sees the customer pocket something. While looking towards me, my manager points to his office before he disappears. I am about to serve the next customer when my original customer comes back up to me.)

    Customer: “Sorry, you seem to have only given me £22.50.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. But I know I counted out £42.50 exactly.”

    (The customer then places the £22.50 back on the counter and empties his front pockets.)

    Customer: “See, only £22.50. Can I have my other £20 back please?”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t open the till for that without a manager’s authorization. It’s against company—”

    Customer: “But this next customer is paying by cash, so you can just take it out then, can’t you?”

    Me: “No, that would be negligence on my part as I would be removing too much money from the till during that transaction, and it would not show up on our register logs.”

    (The customer then steps aside and lets the next customer come to the till. The first customer then starts insulting me in front of the other customers.)

    Customer: “You thief! You b****!”

    (I process the next customer’s items and then take his cash and open the till drawer.)

    Customer: “See? It’s open now and you won’t give me my £20 that you stole from me!”

    (The customer reaches over towards the till drawer.)

    Me: “Sir, I told you I need a manager before I can process that!”

    (I slam the till drawer closed before the customer can get near it. I then hand the next customer his change, who thanks me and leaves. I turn back to the first customer, whose face seems to be getting redder and redder.)

    Customer: “How long are you going to keep me here?!”

    (Just then, the phone next to my till rings, with the display showing ‘MANAGER.’)

    Me: *to the customer* “Just a second, sir.”

    Manager: *to me over the phone* “The customer has hidden the missing £20 in his back pocket.”

    (I try not to smile as I put the phone back down and my manager appears from the office. I turn to the customer and speak loudly enough that the other customers in line can hear.)

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but my manager has told me I cannot open the till to give you your £20 back, because you have it in your right back pocket.”

    Customer: *flustered* “T-that’s a lie! How d-dare you, you f*****!”

    Me: “Sir, I’ve been told to ask you to leave before we call the police.”

    (At this point I have my finger on the panic button, and he can visibly see that. He quickly gathers up his change from the counter and runs out of the store yelling profanities at my manager and me. The next customer, an elderly lady, walks up.)

    Elderly Lady: *laughing* “Even I counted it out when you did and got the same amount, and I tell you, that’s a feat at my age!”

    Bedraggle Their Haggle

    | Norway | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Money

    (My local grocery store is in a neighborhood with a lot of children, and right next to a primary school, so there’s a lot of kids going there on their own. I end up in line behind two boys, around 10 years old. They are counting their money.)

    Boy #1: “I think we’re short.”

    Boy #2: “It’ll be fine. We can get it for less; I’ve done it before.”

    Cashier: *to the boys* “That’ll be [price].”

    Boy #2: “We have [slightly lower amount]. That’s enough right?”

    Cashier: “Sorry, it’s not.”

    Boy #1: “Oh, please?”

    Boy #2: “Yeah, it’s not that much.”

    (While it’s a very small amount of money, I understand the cashier’s reluctance. The boys continue to haggle. Seeing this will go nowhere, I decide to step in.)

    Me: “Here, I’ll pay the difference.”

    (The boys thank me and leave.)

    Cashier: “Thank you! It’s not a lot of money, but we have so many groups trying to haggle every day. It’s okay once in a while, but if I let all of them get away with it, my till would be short every day, and I can’t do that.”

    Me: “It’s no problem. I’ve been here just after schools out. Sometimes it looks like half the kids there stop by on their way home.”

    Cashier: *chuckles* “Sometimes it feels like that, too!”

    A Bitter Drink With A Sweet After Taste

    | Belgium | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

    (Outside the coffee shop where I work, there’s a beggar who sits there just about every day. I always bring him a cup of coffee when it’s quiet. As I am not allowed to bring my own wallet behind the counter, I pay for it at the end of the day before I close the till. On this particular day, a customer I have just finished serving and has been watching me intently, follows me outside.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, what the h*** are you doing?”

    Me: “I’m bringing this gentleman coffee.”

    Customer: “What, for free?”

    Me: “Not that it’s any of your business, but no, I will pay for it tonight.”

    Customer: “What, so you’ll pay for my coffee too?”

    Me: “No, sir. Clearly you can afford to buy your own.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! I work hard, I buy the most expensive thing on your menu every day, I pay my taxes, yet I don’t get free coffee! Does your boss know you’re doing this?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. He approves.”

    Customer: “F*** you. No he doesn’t. He doesn’t want bums walking around with [Brand] cups! I’m going to report you. Who’s your boss?”

    (I point to the Catholic church across the street.)

    Me: “That guy. If you want to file a complaint, you’ll have to wait. He’s usually only in on Sundays.”

    (Amazingly, that was the end of that.)


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