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    Category: Money

    Laptop Flop, Part 3

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology

    Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [store]! How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, my laptop that I bought from you guys a while ago got stolen. I need to get a copy of my receipt for insurance purposes.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem! What I need is the cred—”

    Customer: “What I’m going to give you is my name and phone number, and you see what you can find with that.”

    Me: “Ma’am, when we do receipt lookups, it’s processed at the register. I need you to bring in the card you paid with, and the UPC or item number of the laptop, if you happened to save those off the box.”

    Customer: “I don’t have any of that.”

    Me: “Well, do you have one of our rewards cards?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Err… could you tell me what kind of laptop it was?”

    Customer: “I ALREADY SAID THAT!”

    Me: “If you did, I didn’t hear it ma’am. What was it?”

    Customer: “I already said it. But it was… tah-shibbia? Or… Toshi-bai-bah or something.”

    Me: “Toshiba.”

    (I wait for the customer to supply more information about the laptop, but she’s silent.)

    Me: “…and the model number?”

    Customer: “I DON’T HAVE THAT!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I really need at least that information so I could look up an item number. How about the month you purchased the laptop; do you have that?”

    Customer: “What month is this? Well, it isn’t April yet. So this month must be March. I bought it in November. Maybe it was around my birthday. Like if I bought myself a birthday present! Yeah, that must’ve been it.”

    (I wait for the customer to tell me when her birthday is.)

    Customer: “Anyway, you see what you can find with that, and call me back.”

    Me: “Ma’am, as I said before, I need to know what kind of lapt—”

    Customer: “No, look it up with my name. And if you can’t find it, you call me back and tell me exactly what you need, and I’ll get it for you.”

    Laptop Flop, Part 2
    Laptop Flop

    It’s Cent-less To Argue

    | Allentown, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

    (I am a cashier at the front end of a grocery store. A customer hands me four $1 bills.)

    Customer: “$3.50 in quarters please!”

    Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

    Customer: “You heard me; I’d like $3.50 in quarters.”

    Me: “Wouldn’t you just like the $4 in quarters?”

    Customer: “No? If I wanted that, then I would have asked for $4 in quarters.”

    Me: “Then how would you like the remaining $0.50?”

    Customer: “What remaining $0.50? Look, I don’t know what is so hard about this.”

    (I just gave the customer his $4 worth of quarters, and he walked away.)

    Checkouts Are Places For Change

    | Sandy, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Money, Top

    (I am standing in line around midnight. In front of me is a pregnant girl, around 20 years old. She is wearing pajamas, and clearly looking as if she has seen better days. She also has a black eye, which is a little alarming to me.)

    Cashier: “Did you find everything alright?”

    Pregnant Customer: “Yes, thanks. Can you see if my card has anything on it before you ring it up?”

    Cashier: “No, sorry. I could ring things up one at a time and see if it’ll take for each one. If you don’t mind waiting for me to cash out the other three people in line, I’ll be more than happy to do that for you.”

    Pregnant Customer: “No, no, let’s just try. I hope the deposit has hit already.”

    (The cashier rings everything in, and the pregnant customer swipes the card. It declines.)

    Cashier: “Do you have another form of payment?”

    Pregnant Customer: “No…” *starts crying* “He must have already cancelled the card.”

    Cashier: “Cancelled the card?”

    Pregnant Customer: “My ex-boyfriend kicked me out tonight. He came home and said the baby couldn’t be his, hit me, and threw me out. He must have called and cancelled our food stamp card. I don’t even know where I’m going to put all this. A friend is letting me use her extra fridge until I can get an apartment.”

    (One of the customers in line behind me speaks up.)

    Customer Behind Me: “Ma’am, just put it on my ticket.”

    (I move out of the way so the customer behind me can push his cart forward. He clearly has $200 or more worth of food on his own, and the pregnant customer has about $150.)

    Cashier: “Sure.”

    Pregnant Customer: “No, no I can’t.”

    Customer Behind Me: “Honey, don’t lecture me. My mom was kicked out by my dad because he thought she was sleeping around on him. She worked two jobs to keep a roof over my head. I’m not letting some deadbeat a**-hole throw his girlfriend out because he has trust issues.”

    Pregnant Customer: “I can’t. It’s too much. I don’t have a job; I can’t pay you back.”

    Customer Behind Me: “Take my card. I’ve seen you in here a few times during regular shopping hours. You’re always very nice to the employees and everyone in line. I need a receptionist for my apartment complex on [street]. Come by tomorrow, and we’ll have an interview. I give discounts to my employees on their rent.”

    (By this time, the cashier has finished ringing in the items, and they’re bagged already.)

    Cashier: “Your total is $459.92.”

    (The customer behind me gently pushes past the pregnant customer. He swipes his card, enters his pin, and then hugs her.)

    Customer Behind Me: “Things do get better. See me tomorrow; I’m serious.”

    (Sir, wherever you are… You restored some of my faith in humanity. Thank you. Ma’am, wherever you are, I hope you and your baby have a great life, and you find someone to take care of you both and love you the way you deserve. I hope you got that job, but judging from how the man was talking, I’m sure you did!)

    Please Dial Down The Dumb

    | TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (I work customer service for a cell phone company.)

    Me: “How can I assist you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, my friend bought me a tablet, but I keep getting this bill. Why?”

    Me: “I see that you’re using the Samsung Galaxy, right?”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “That’s okay; what you actually have is a smart phone. It’s like a touch screen computer you can make calls on, but it is a cell phone and comes with a monthly bill.”

    Customer: “You can’t make calls on this; it’s a computer! Stop billing me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but do you see the green icon that looks like a phone on your screen? Tap that. What do you see?”

    Customer: “A keypad.”

    Me: “That’s how you make phone calls; you just dial the number.”

    Customer: “This proves nothing! I know a computer when I see one! This is a tablet, and I’m not paying anything!”

    Bill Of Rights Makes Up For All The Wrongs

    | USA | At The Checkout, Money, Technology, Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling [wireless company]; my name is [me]. May I have your first and last name, please?”

    Customer: “I just want to make sure I’m reading my bill right. It’s my second bill, but I just want to make sure I understand what I am paying for.”

    Me: “Sure, what questions do you have?”

    Customer: “So, I see that the first bill is $260.71. That has, I assume, the activation charges. It looks like my first month from June 6 through July 5, as well as the two days before from the previous bill cycle before my regular one started, and was due on July 1, right?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s correct.”

    Customer: “Alright, and so then the current bill here for $176.20 is for July 6 through August 5 and is due on August 1, and the late fee for not having the first bill paid on time, right?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, absolutely.”

    Customer: “Okay, so if I pay the $260.71 today, I won’t have to pay anything else until the first, and I also won’t get an interruption?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Okay, I just wanted to make sure I understood it all. Thanks!”

    Me: “No problem, ma’am, so… thank you for reading and understanding your bill.”

    Customer: “You expected me to yell at you, didn’t you?”

    Me: “Honestly? Yes.”

    Customer: “I used to work in a bank, so I know what it’s like to be yelled at, especially when the issue isn’t your fault. After working there, I never yell at customer service reps, because I remember being there, myself.”

    Me: “On behalf of all of us here at [company], thank you. Let me waive that late fee.”

    Customer: No! No! Don’t waive it! I didn’t pay; it’s only fair I get the late fee!”

    Me: “Too late.”

    Customer: “It really meant that much?”

    Me: “You made my night. Have a good one!”

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