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    Category: Money

    Getting All Hancocked Over A Benjamin, Part 2

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I am a manager working the concession stand at a theater attached to a hotel/casino.)

    Cashier: *over radio* “Manager to register two.”

    (I head over. The cashier has a customer at her station who looks angry.)

    Me: “What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, this b**** stole my money! I paid with a hundred and she only gave me change for a fifty! I want my f****** money back!”

    Me: “Alright. Did you see what she did with the bill?”

    Customer: “Yeah! She put it below the counter!”

    (We are only allowed to keep bills $10 and smaller in the till itself. All larger bills go into a lockbox right below the cash register. I walk behind the desk and point to the lockbox.)

    Me: “She put it in here?”

    Customer: “Yeah! Now give me the rest of my money!”

    (I unlock the lockbox and remove it from its position, placing it on the counter in front of the customer. I then open it to reveal three $20 bills, and one $50 bill, which is the last bill deposited.)

    Me: “Well, sir, it looks like the last bill deposited was a fifty. Is it possible you simply forgot which bill you paid with?”

    (At this point, I know he’s lying. The cashier is one of my best employees, and the evidence is stacked against him.)

    Customer: “NO! I PAID WITH A F****** HUNDRED! I WANT MY F****** MONEY!”

    Me: “Alright, sir. If you’re that adamant, I’ll call the casino’s security.”

    Customer: “Good!”

    Me: “I just don’t like calling them. They’re so harsh about fraud. I mean, they drag people into the back room just for TRYING…”

    (The color drains out of the customer’s face.)

    Customer: “That… that’s a myth…”

    Me: “I wish it were, sir. I wish it were. Let call them.”

    (I pull my radio up, but he stops me.)

    Customer: “You know what; it’s not worth the hassle.” *to the cashier* “Enjoy the tip, b****.”

    (The customer storms off as fast as he can towards his theater.)

    Related:
    Getting All Hancocked Over A Benjamin

    Christmas Day Meets Groundhog Day

    | St. Catharines, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (It is a very busy Sunday afternoon in the store. One of our staff is late due to bad weather and a dead car battery, so we are all rushed off our feet. I take a call.)

    Me: “[Store Name]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes. Hi. Do you have any sales going on with your Christmas dresses?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not, ma’am. There are no dresses on sale at the moment.”

    Caller: “How much are the dresses you have?”

    Me: “They range from $30 to $50, depending on the dress. But, we might be having a 40 percent off sale later this week. If you’d like to, call back then and check the dresses at that point.”

    Caller: “So, what sale do you have for your dresses right now? I want one just above the knee.”

    Me: “Well, most of our dresses fall just above the knee, ma’am. Like I said, we have no dresses on sale today, but we might have them on sale later this week.”

    Caller: “I’m going to a holiday party, you see, and I need a dress that falls above the knee.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. I understand. If you check back in a few days you might be able to get a dress for 40 percent off.”

    Caller: *finally clues in* “40 percent off you say? So what price would the dresses be then?”

    Me: “It would depend on the dress, ma’am. As I said, they range from $30 to $50.”

    Caller: “Oh, so how much would the $50 dollar dress be? I’m going to a holiday party and need a dress above the knee. You don’t have any dresses on sale today? Do you?”

    Me: *facepalm*

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 26

    | Belgium | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work a summer job in a bank. An angry customer storms in and slams a card on the counter.)

    Customer: “I tried to get money out of the cash machine but it won’t give me anything!”

    Me: “Well, sir. It seems—”

    Customer: “I’m not poor! There’s money in my account! You can check it!”

    Me: “Well, sir—”

    Customer: “I just want my d*** money! Give it to me!”

    Me: “Sir… That’s a library card.”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 24
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 23
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

    Not Ex-static About Donating

    | Canada | Liars & Scammers, Money, School

    (The particular call centre I work at calls alumni from the university, both to give them updates and to solicit donations. The alumnus I’m speaking with is quite polite. I’m partway through the call.)

    Me: “…so the date of your reunion is in two months. It sounds like you really enjoyed your time here!”

    Alumnus: “I definitely did.”

    Me: “Part of the reason you were able to enjoy it so much is because of the generosity of other alumni, like you, from the past—”

    Alumnus: “Oh, we’re doing that part now.”

    Me: “…so if you’d like, I could—”

    Alumnus: “Hold on a second! Khrrrrrrrt…”

    (The alum has started making not-quite-static noises with his throat.)

    Me: “Uh, sir? Are you—”

    Alumnus: “You’re breaking up! Khhrrrrrrrtzzzzz!”

    (This is followed by an actual phone click.)

    Don’t Trust ‘em If They Bring No Custom

    | OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Money

    (I work in a big box electronics store that is liquidating. It is the last day, and my shift has ended. As I am on my way to the break-room after clocking out, the following exchange occurs near our former camera department.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, sir. Do you work here?”

    (I still have my company polo on.)

    Me: “Not any more!”

    Customer: “This is why you’re going out of business!”

    Me: “Actually, I never saw you in here once in the three years I worked here. YOU are the reason we’re going out of business, you vulture!”

    (I understand he called the store and threatened come to the parking lot to shoot me. Thankfully, by then, I had already gone home!)

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