• A Pain In The Nugget
    (1,343 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Money

    Doesn’t Fit The Bill

    | Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Money, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in a gift shop at a castle. A puzzled customer comes up to the till.)

    Customer: “How much are your postcards?”

    Me: “They’re 50 pence.”

    Customer: “So 50p means 50 pence?”

    Me: “Yep, they’re the same thing.”

    Customer: “Okay, so, I have a certificate for 5.”

    (We don’t do gift certificates to the best of my knowledge, so…)

    Me: “Sorry; when you say certificate, what exactly do you mean?”

    Customer: “It’s like a… bill?”

    Me: “A five pound note?”

    Customer: “A what?”

    Me: *baffled* “May I ask where you’re from?”

    Customer: “I’m from California.”

    Me: “Right, well, basically, our pence are like your cents, and our pounds are like your dollars. It’s 100 pence to a pound.”

    Customer: “OH! That makes so much more sense of all of your shops!”

    Putting The Green Into The Machine

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (The customer orders her food and starts to drive off before the total was told.)

    Employee: “The total will be $10.27.”

    Customer: *muffled, because she’s pulled forward* “Did you received my $20.”

    Employee: “I’m sorry.”

    Customer: *still muffled* “Did you get my $20?”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Could you please pull up to the first window and we’ll take care of it?”

    (The customer pulls up to the drive thru window.)

    Customer: “I was asking if you received my $20. I put it in the machine.”

    Employee: *trying not to laugh* “Ma’am, we don’t have a machine. We take cash at the window.”

    Customer: “Oh, I guess my money is outside, then.”

    (One of the employees was sent out to get the customer’s money from the drive thru speaker.)

    TARDIS Rental Services

    | Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Math & Science, Money, Transportation

    (I work in a travel agency and we handle a lot of rental car bookings. Note: if you book a car early, and want to change something about the booking, the rate for the car will change. This exchange takes place with a customer who has booked a car about three months prior:)

    Customer: “I’d like to change my booking to pick the car up a day earlier.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to take care of that.” *pulls up new booking info* “Your new rate is going to be  [several hundred dollars more].”

    Customer: “For that much, I could just go buy a car. The new rate is supposed to only be $30 dollars more for an extra day.”

    Me: “That’s not how it works. You booked this three months ago and that rate isn’t available anymore. That extra day rate is if you return it a day later, not if you pick it up a day earlier.”

    Customer: “Can’t you just go back to then and re-book it for me?”

    Me: “You want me to travel back to March and book this for you again?”


    Me: “I can’t travel through time to re-book this for you. I’m sorry. If you want to change it—”

    Customer: “—well never mind. I’ll just take care of it myself.” *storms out of the office*

    Twice The Cheese, Double The Effort

    , | Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

    (I used to work at a small sandwich shop at which the manager and I were the only daytime employees. Our franchise serves shredded cheese on sandwiches, and customers often try to get us to put extra cheese on, since it’s more difficult to gauge the proper amount. The following happens during our regular lunch rush, as my manager and I are running back and forth, ringing people through and making their sandwiches.)

    Me: “And what kind of cheese would you like?”

    Customer #1: “Shredded.”

    (I measure out the proper amount with our scoop and put it on his sandwich.)

    Customer #1: “No, put more than that.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is our standardized amount. If you want more, you’ll have to pay for extra cheese.”

    Customer #1: “No, you didn’t put enough on. You need more than that.”

    (My manager has just finished ringing someone through and comes over.)

    Manager: “No, sir, I saw her measure it out. That is the standardized amount for a footlong sandwich.”

    Customer #1: “No. I need more cheese than that!”

    (This goes back and forth for a minute as I get to work on the next customer’s order, and finally my manager puts a full extra serving of cheese on.)

    Manager: “So that will be [amount] extra when you get to the till, then.”

    Customer #1: *mutters* “Well, put more than that on, then.”

    (My manager ignores him, and I finish making his sandwich and start punching it into the till.)

    Customer #1: “And I’m not paying for extra cheese.”

    Manager: “I gave you double cheese. Are you saying you would like me to give you free food?”

    Customer #1: “You didn’t put double cheese! You put a tiny bit extra.”

    Manager: “No. You received the regular, doubled, amount. Are you going to pay for it?”

    Customer #1: “No! You should have put more! I won’t pay for extra cheese.” *smiling smugly* “So, how much is it without extra?”

    (My manager raised her eyebrows at him, canceled the order, threw the sandwich in the garbage, and went back to help the next customer in line. He stood there speechless until the other customers started applauding. Then his face turned red and he stormed out, muttering that we lost “$30.00.” His sandwich was only worth about $8.00, even with the extra cheese.)


    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money

    (I run a daycare for folks around my town. On this particular day one of them calls me up saying they’ve run into some financial troubles and won’t be able to pay me this week. After crunching some numbers I decide I can take the hit to my budget and tell them I’ll still look after their child. The next week I add the amount they owe to their total when they come to pay me for my services.)

    Mother: “Hey, why is the fee double what it usually is?”

    Me: “You weren’t able to pay last week as you said, so I added what you owe to this week’s total.”

    Mother: “What I owe? I said I wasn’t able to pay that!”

    Me: “Well, now you can.”

    Mother: “Uh, no, no that’s wrong. I pay you [total] per week to watch my child and that’s it! If I can’t pay one week that’s just how it goes.”

    Me: “Uh… ma’am, if that were the case I wouldn’t be able to stay in business. You wished to make use of my service; I need you to pay for it.”

    Mother: “And so I am. The same amount I pay every week and nothing more! I run my own business, too, and I know that if you want to hang onto a customer you should learn to respect when they are having problems and not bleed them dry!”

    Me: “Be that as it may, you still owe me for last week.”

    Mother: “NO, I DON’T! Now go get my son for me and stop being so rude!”

    (After she leaves I take a few hours to cool down and think over what to do about this. Finally I pick up the phone.)

    Me: “Hello, it’s [My Name] again. Just wanted to let you know that I thought over what you said and decided that if you aren’t going to pay for me watching your child then don’t bother bringing him to the daycare anymore.”

    Mother: “WHAT!? No, you have to look after him! I’ll be terribly inconvenienced if you don’t!”

    Me: “Too bad. I have a business to run. too, and I can’t keep it going if the customer expects me to work for free. If you aren’t going to pay what you owe for the services rendered then you’re going to have to find someone else to watch your son.”

    Mother: “How dare you! This is going to terrible inconvenience me! Do you know how much the other places charge in this town!? You can’t do this! You can’t—”

    (I hung up while she was still screaming. She still turned up the next day demanding I watch her kid, then left when I refused, screaming some more about how unprofessional I was and how I just lost a good customer.)

    Page 30/158First...2829303132...Last