October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Money

Service With Room To Improve

| USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money

(I work at a hotel in an affluent city. Property around here goes for millions of dollars.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want a room.”

Me: “Okay, the rate is [rate].”

Customer: *eyes bug out* “What?! How do you justify that?!”

Me: “Um… I don’t know. The sales department sets the prices, not me.”

Customer: “They must be on crack! It’s four walls! And a bed!”

Me: “Right… So, do you want to rent the room?”

Customer: *starts cursing and swearing* “No, I don’t want the room! I just want to know how you can charge that price!”

Me: “Well, the room comes with free internet, and free breakfast… and free gym.”

Customer: *sneeringly* “F*** the breakfast! Take that room and shove it up your a**! And tell that to the ‘sales’ department, too!” *struts off*

Coworker: “Man, what an idiot. He needs some anger management classes.”

Me: *to Coworker* “He’s going to check the hotel next door and across from us, and be back in fifteen minutes.”

Coworker: “No way!”

(I was right!)

Gotta Give Them Credit For Trying

| Finland | Hotels & Lodging, Liars & Scammers, Money

Me: “Okay, so now that your arrival tomorrow will be after 6 pm, we’d need your credit card details to guarantee for the arrival.”

Customer: “So here’s the number: 123 7881”

Me: “What kind of a credit card is it?”

Customer: “It’s a Visa card”

(All Visas and Mastercards are 16 digits.)

Me: “Are you reading the numbers in front of the card?”

Customer: “Yes. It’s 123 899912”

(I notice that it’s a different number than what he said before.)

Me: “I’m not sure if that’s your library card number or something else but I definitely know it’s not a credit card number.”

Customer: “Oh, you noticed.”

All Scream For Free Ice Cream

| Surrey, England, UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

(A coworker is working the ice cream counter with me nearby. The customers are a family of four and this happens when she has finished preparing the ice cream. When we ring up an item on our tills, it is stored on a list on the right hand side of the screen that resembles Excel cells. When we complete the payment process the cells’ background changes from white to red. Also, the previous transaction value, cash tendered, and change are at the bottom of the screen.)

Son: “I already paid you, lady! I put my money on the counter and you took it.”

Coworker: “No, I haven’t. I didn’t touch your money and the till clearly shows that I haven’t taken payment for it yet.”

(My coworker turns her till to emphasise this point, since I still have a complete transaction on mine I do the same.)

Father: “How dare you accuse my son of lying? I demand to see your manager!”

(I call the manager down.)

Father: “Your employee is claiming my son didn’t pay for his ice cream!”

Manager: “What did your son order, sir?”

Son: *ice cream scoop cup*

Manager: “I see this order is on the till, but the payment hasn’t been processed yet.”

Father: “Then she must’ve pocketed the note!”

Manager: “I don’t see any pockets on her uniform, but I’ll be happy to check the CCTV for you.” *points to the camera over the ice cream case, pointing over the counter on which my coworker’s till is*

Father: “Forget it! Enjoy the £10, you lying witch!”

(My manager checked the CCTV in the presence of the employee. The son did put the money on the counter but quickly pocketed it when my coworker was scooping the ice cream! We haven’t seen him since!)

A Crap Tipper

| Jackson, CA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money

(I am dealing craps at a casino, and we only have one player at the table. He has won about $500, and keeps ranting about how he has just gotten there, and this is all winnings. After he finally changes his chips up and leaves, without tipping, we close the table. I get sent to a $25 blackjack table, where, lo and behold, the same player has moved to. He just happens to be changing up another $400, and he has the original winnings in his hand.)

Player: “Man, I’d love to tip you, but I’m still down for the night.”

Me: “You already lost all the money you won on craps? That must have been rough!”

(The player turned red as a beet and all but ran off. My supervisor was laughing too hard to yell at me!)

Minimum Spend, Maximum Satisfaction

| Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Books & Reading, Criminal/Illegal, Money

(I work at a small bookstore. We have a credit card minimum. I get so sick of people telling me that this is illegal that I look up the legislation a few months ago. A woman brings a greeting card to the front.)

Me: “$2.66, please.”

Woman: *hands me a credit card*

Me: “Do you happen to have cash? We have a $7 minimum.”

Woman: *gleefully angry* “Oh! That’s against the law young man, and I’ll be reporting you!”

Me: “Actually, it’s not.”

Woman: “Yes, it is! What’s the name of this business?!”

Me: “2010 house resolution 4173, also known as the Dodd-Frank act, says we can set up to a $10 minimum as long as it’s consistent between issuers. It’s on page 698. And the name is [Store].”

Woman: “You’re a little smart a**.” *throws greeting card on the ground and walks away*

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