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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Category: Money

    Take Note Of The Note, Part 2

    | Auckland, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I’m a cashier and food server working alone on the morning shift in a small store. I have just served a customer and he is waiting for his fries to cook.)

    Customer #1: “How long until my chips are ready?”

    Me: “1 minute and 45 seconds away.”

    Customer #2: “Hey, man. I don’t mean to be a bother, but I’m in a hurry. Can you change some money for me?”

    Me: “Possibly. How much do you need changed?

    (Customer #2 holds up a $20 note.)

    Me: “Yeah, sure. Why not?” *I take the $20 off of him, and give him two $10 notes*

    Customer #2: “Thanks, man.” *leaves the store*

    (I have a funny feeling about the exchange, so when I put his note in the till, I fold the bill below just in case. A minute later…)

    Customer #2: “Hey, man. You only gave me $20. I gave you three $20 notes.”

    Me: “I’m 100% sure you only gave me $20.”

    (I am about to offer to take his details which is procedure in these circumstances when he cuts me off.)

    Customer #2: “Look, man. I’m not trying to scam you. My cousin gave me $60 and I needed them changed. They might have been stuck together and looked like one bill but there were three. I would like my $40.”

    Me: “I am 100% sure you only gave me $20. If you had asked to change $60 I would have said no in the first place. I also folded the bill below so I can check should a customer come back.”

    Customer #2: *about to begin arguing*

    Customer #1: “Dude, you only gave him $20.”

    Customer #2: *stammers* “Oh, really. My bad, then!”

    (Customer #2 walks of rather fast, only to stop at the door, come back, and grab the two $10 notes he’s left on the counter. A few seconds later, Customer #1′s order is ready.)

    Me: “Here’s your chips and some sauce on the house, for before.”

    Customer #1: “Thanks. So was that guy trying to scam you or what?! He seemed genuine and dodgy at the same time.”

    Me: “Yeah, but he didn’t come back to change the other $20 notes.”

    Customer #1: “I wouldn’t hate Monday mornings if I saw something that entertaining each week!”

    Related:
    Take Note Of The Note

    They’re Magically Cannibalicious!

    | Northern Ireland, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a small store in Northern Ireland where we sell some American imports but for quite a bit more expensive prices.)

    Me: “That’ll be £6.95, ma’am.”

    Customer: “How dare you try to scam your customers?!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Selling Lucky Charms for seven dollars? That is preposterous. At home they are only two dollars in Target.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, we do have to import them… This IS Northern Ireland.”

    Customer: “This is part of Ireland?”

    Me: “I guess you could say that.”

    Customer: “I’m so sorry! I didn’t think about how I might be offending you! Don’t worry this cereal isn’t really leprechauns. We wouldn’t eat your relatives!” *pays and leaves without cereal*

    (My manager got a call later that night saying that the cereal was for me and that she was very sorry for ‘acting like some sort of cannibal.’)

    More Money, More Problems

    | New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Money

    (I work for a cinema that has a gaming area attached to it. All the games run on coins only, and there are signs up everywhere stating this. I am the person working in the Games Zone today, and am currently patrolling around the area for game faults or shady characters. A woman with two children approach me.)

    Patron: “Excuse me, miss?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

    Patron: “Your game is broken. I am very upset. My children really wanted to play on this but it won’t accept our money! It just ate the money and gave us no game!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Sometimes the games do eat the coins. I’ll just fetch some tokens and come over to see if I can get it working.”

    Patron: “Well, hurry up! We have a movie starting soon but they really want to play this game first! We don’t have all afternoon!”

    (I return to my booth to collect a couple of tokens to put in the machine, to see if I can get the game running. When I return to the game the woman has already seated her children in the seats, in a way that I cannot get to the coin slot.)

    Me: “‘Scuse me kids. I just need you to move for a moment.”

    Patron: “What are you doing? Kicking my kids off the game?!”

    Me: “No. They are in the way of the coin slot, so I can’t put the tokens in. I just need them to shift for a moment.”

    Patron: “Geez, just lean over! You’re tall, even I can do that!”

    (She snatches my bag of tokens from my hand and gets a few out. She practically smothers her children as she leans over to reach the coin slot, violently jamming the token in. It is obviously not going to go in, as something clearly is blocking it.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I just need you to stop trying to shove the token in. Something is blocking the way. I think the money you put in before might have jammed up inside. I just need your kids to move and I’ll see if I can clear it.”

    (She scoffs at me and mutters about how stupid the game is, but makes her kids move. I lean down to inspect the coin slot and to my surprise, find a $5 note folded up and jammed in the slot. After a little bit of wriggling I manage to pull it out.)

    Me: “Um, did you fold up a note and put it in here?”

    Patron: “Yes, that’s mine!”

    Me: “Well, that is the problem. The machines only take coins, not notes. The slot doesn’t accept bills of any sort.”

    Patron: “Well that’s stupid! Anyway, I did put coins in. I put two $1 coins in, and they wouldn’t go all the way through, so I thought it must take notes instead!”

    (I inspect the coin slot again, and after a little wriggling with a key, manage to spot two coins that she has pushed in TOGETHER at the same time, which became wedged. The note had wedged them further down the slot, so I cannot get them out.)

    Me: “Well, I’m afraid the coins are well and truly stuck in there now. I cannot get them out and no other coins can get past. Your kids can’t play the game today.”

    Patron: “What? Well that is f****** ridiculous! We paid money for this game, it’s still running. Just credit it a game or something by opening up the computer slot or something!”

    Me: “I just give out change and put up ‘Out of Order’ signs… I don’t fix games.”

    Patron: “Well, you’re useless down here then, aren’t you?!”

    Always The Same Old Song

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Money, Musical Mayhem

    (I am DJing an office Christmas party. A guy who had made tons of requests, most of which I’d played, approaches my workstation.)

    Guy: “Where’s my request?”

    Me: “I’ve been playing your requests where they fit.”

    Guy: “Well, play [Specific Song] next.”

    Me: “I’ll get it in soon, but I don’t think it’ll be next. I’ve got a lot of requests coming in, so I have to play them where they fit.”

    Guy: “Don’t worry about anyone else’s requests. I’m the boss. Just play my requests.”

    Me: “Oh, good. You’re the boss? Then where’s my cheque?”

    Guy: “What?”

    Me: “Well, since nobody’s bothered to come over and introduce themselves to me yet, I didn’t know who to come find to collect payment.”

    Guy: “So, just play my request whenever you can…”

    Setting Daddy’s Little Girl Straight

    | New Haven, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money, Rude & Risque, Top

    (I’m gay and working in a clothing store for teens/young adults. A roughly 15-year-old girl comes into the store. Her dad is sitting on a bench right outside the store in clear view of the check-out counter.)

    Girl: “Hey there. Do you offer discounts for pretty girls?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not. Unless you have a coupon, your total will be [total].”

    Girl: “Maybe you can give me a discount for a different kind of coupon?” *slowly pops open the top buttons of her shirt*

    Me: “Oh, honey, you’re gonna need a few more years and a surgery before that’s going to work on me.”

    Girl: *scowling* “Are you calling me flat-chested?”

    Me: “Different kind of surgery, honey.” *pointing out my rainbow bracelet*

    Girl: “Oh, ew!”

    (The girl’s dad has managed to storm right up next to his daughter without her noticing. He’s clearly fuming.)

    Girl’s Dad: “You better have a good reason for flashing this kid your cleavage, [Girl’s Full Name].”

    (He made her put all her clothes back and leave the store in tears.)

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