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    Category: Money

    Funny Money

    , | LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am working in the drive thru lane. A car with two women in it pulls up. Both look strung out, like they are on drugs.)

    Me: “That’ll be [total].”

    (The driver doesn’t say anything to me but pulls a bill out of her wallet, smells it carefully, then nods to herself.)

    Customer: “Okay. This one’s good.”

    (She hands me the money and I try not to be too obvious that I’m very gingerly handling it. I washed my hands after they left, just in case!)

    Sound Of The Penny Dropping

    | London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, History, Money

    (We get a lot of people call us up when they find old banknotes and coins. Mostly, they’re worthless.)

    Customer: “I’ve found a really old £1 note, and I want to know if it’s worth anything?”

    Colleague: “Is there a signature on the front?”

    Customer: “It’s ‘DHF Somerset.’”

    Colleague: “Ah, well, that note was produced in the early 1980s. It’s not worth anything.”

    Customer: “No, it’s much earlier than that! It has the dates ’1642 to 1727′ on the back, and a picture of Isaac Newton. That’s very old!”

    Colleague: “Those are the dates he was alive. Besides, if it was produced back then, they couldn’t have put a picture of the current Queen on the front. Could they?”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    Underpinning Their Own Stupidity

    , | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Money

    (We aren’t allowed to know customer’s personal identification numbers (PIN). If they disclose it, we have to reissue a new one, blocking their current one and starting a seven day wait for a new one to be sent.)

    Me: “Okay, you’ll need your PIN to set up online banking. Without telling me what it is, can you tell me if you know your PIN?”

    Caller: “Why can’t I say my PIN?”

    Me: “It’s your secure PIN. You shouldn’t disclose it to anyone, not even me. If you do, I’m required to replace it. That will delay what you want to do today. So, please don’t tell me what it is. Do you know your PIN? Just yes or no will be fine.”

    Caller: “My PIN is 1234. I forbid you to replace it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I asked you not to tell me, and I explained why. I have to replace it now. I am truly sorry. It will take up to seven business days for you to receive it by mail.”

    Caller: “DON’T YOU DARE! I NEED ONLINE BANKING TO WORK TODAY!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I did explain this. I also have no option. I’m now required to replace your PIN for security.”

    Caller: “But I need this set up today! It’s urgent!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you clearly understood me. Can I ask, why did you tell me your PIN after I asked you not to?”

    Caller: “I DON’T LIKE BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO!”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 28

    | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Hotels & Lodging, Money, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (An American guest approaches me at my desk.)

    Me: “Morning, sir! What can I do for you?”

    Guest: “Hi there! I’m going to rent a car today to drive around the highlands. Could you just tell me how much gas costs here?”

    Me: “Gas? As in petroleum? Sure. Petrol here is about £1 a litre.”

    Guest: “How much is that in gallons though?”

    Me: “Well, as far as I know, there is slightly less than four litres in a gallon. So about £4 a gallon I suppose.”

    Guest: “Awesome, that’s $2 a gallon! That’s cheap!”

    Me: “Sir, the exchange rate is currently $2 to £1, so it is in fact equal to $8 a gallon.”

    Guest: “Pfft! I doubt that. The dollar is the strongest currency in the world!”

    Me: “Well, it’s the largest reserve currency, but I assure you the rates are as I described.”

    Guest: “You know, considering you work with tourists, you should probably know the exchange rate a little better, son! Don’t they teach you math in high school?!”

    Me: “They do, sir.”

    Guest: “Not well enough!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 27
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 26
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25

    Wined And Dined And Fined

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (I wait tables at a popular Chicago Italian restaurant that gets a lot of traffic from Cubs fans on game day. Another waitress has a table full of young men who have come down from an affluent suburb to see the game. They’re very friendly, and charming, and drinking up a storm. She drops their check, and goes to serve another customer and comes back to find that they’ have ‘dined and dashed.’ We are required to cover our tickets, so she is now $100+ in the hole, and starts trying to pick up a later shift so she doesn’t lose money. A few other waiters head over to the bar where we usually go after our shifts. One comes back, bursting with excitement.)

    Waiter: “Those guys who stiffed you are all drinking at the bar!”

    (Our restaurant also happens to be a popular cop hangout. One of our regulars, a 6’9″ fierce-looking cop, who is sitting in the poor waitress’s station at that very moment, speaks up.)

    Cop: “Can you take care of her tables for a moment?”

    (The cop takes the waitress down the street to the bar, with several of us following to see the fun, and storms up to the group of young men.)

    Cop: “Gentlemen, I believe you forgot to take care of something this evening.”

    (Horrified, the young men frantically dig through their pockets and start throwing money at her. She ends up with a 50 percent tip!)

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