Category: Money

Gives New Meaning To ‘Phone Bill’, Part 2

, | CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(A customer calls in to a bank call center.)

Customer: “I need to make a deposit.”

Me: “I can certainly help you with that deposit. What do we need to deposit? Cash, check, money order?”

Customer: “I need to deposit money.”

Me: “What type of deposit? There are different ways to make a deposit depending on what you need to deposit.”

Customer: “I need to deposit cash.”

Me: “I can find you the closest ATM so you can make your cash deposit.”

Customer: “You mean I have to go somewhere to make the deposit?”

Me: “Yes, if you are depositing cash.”

Customer: “Well, can’t I just deposit it over the phone?!”

Me: No, I’m sorry. There is not a way to deposit cash over the phone.”

Customer: “What kind of service is this?” *click*

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Gives New Meaning To ‘Phone Bill’

Flyer Doesn’t Fly With You

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

Customer: “Is this the item that’s on for $69?”

Coworker: “Yes, that’s the one in the flyer for $69″

Customer: “Okay, I’ll get it but I want to get other things too.”

(Later the customer brings the item to my checkout.)

Customer: “Is that the one on sale?”

Me: “Yes, for $69.”

Customer: “That’s the sale price?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “That girl over there told me it was in the flyer.”

Me: “It is. For $69.”

Customer: “Can you check the flyer?”

(I humor her and check, but it takes me a little bit to find it in the flyer. Before I find it, the coworker from before walks by.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s her! How much is this item?”

Coworker: “$69.”

Customer: “Great, thanks!”

Mocking Beliefs Will Cost You

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

Customer: “Hey, how much is this?”

(I don’t know the price either, but there is a haphazardly placed sign in front of the item that vaguely matches its description.)

Me: *looking at sign* “I believe it’s $49.99.”

Customer: “You BELIEVE? Can you go check the actual price?”

Me: “Why certainly, sir.”

(I grab the item and bring it to a cash register to scan it. It comes up as $89.99.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I checked the price for you. It’s actually $89.99.”

Customer: “What?! But that sign says $49.99!”

Me: “But sir, you very obviously had doubts about this sign, because you asked me for the price.”

Customer: “But you even said it was $49.99!”

Me: “No sir, I said that I BELIEVED it to be $49.99. You didn’t like that answer, so I went to check the price like you’ve asked me to. All I’ve done was follow your directions.”

Customer: “D*** it! Me and my big mouth!”

(He still bought it, though. After all, isn’t the customer ‘always right’?)

Don’t Do The Crime If You Can’t Tell The Time

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Money

(My store has a grocery section, including an aisle of wine and beer. Since, in my state, alcohol cannot be sold before noon on Sundays, during that time the aisle is roped off. A customer comes up to my till at 10 on a Sunday, carrying bottles of wine.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I won’t be able to sell these to you before noon.”

Customer: “What?! Why?”

Me: “It’s state law. Alcohol can’t be sold before noon on Sundays.”

Customer: “But I have to have these for a lunch party! It’s starting soon, and I said I’d bring the wine!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but I can’t sell these now. It’s illegal and my register will reject it if I try to ring it up.”

Customer: “Don’t you understand? I NEED THESE. I will look like a FOOL if I show up at the party without any wine.”

Me: “That’s… not really something I’m able to help with. I can’t break the law for that.”

Customer: “What law? I just want you to sell me wine!”

Me: “Texas state law forbids the sale of alcohol before noon on a Sunday. If you’d like, you can come back after noon and buy the wine then.”

Customer: *suddenly calm* “Fine. I’ll come back later and pay for these then.”

(She then picks up the bottles and starts walking towards the door with them. I call security.)

Security: “Ma’am, you can’t take those without having paid for them.”

Customer: “But she won’t let me pay for them!”

Security: “Alcohol can’t be sold before noon. That doesn’t mean you get to walk out with it.”

Customer: “But I was going to come back and pay for it later!”

Can’t Go Without Within

| Detroit, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

Caller: “Why did you send me a letter saying I have to pay my bill 31 days before it’s due?”

Me: “Ma’am, that letter is simply stating that you have to pay the bill WITHIN 31 days of the due date.”

Caller: “Yes! The letter says WITHIN 31 days! That means BEFORE!”

Me: “Ma’am, I deal with accounts similar to yours all day every day, and I’m telling you, you have 31 days PAST the due date to pay the bill.”

Caller: “That’s not what this letter says! I want you to send me a letter in writing stating what you just said.”

Me: “Ma’am, if I sent you a letter stating what I just said you would receive the same letter you’re calling me about right now.”

Caller: “Well, I’m going to send your company a letter to tell them I still haven’t received my bill for next month! I can’t afford not to have coverage!”

Me: *finally giving up* “Would you like the address, ma’am?”

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