Category: Money

Give Her Family Credit

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Money

(Our system uses a PLU (Product Listed Under) list, which consists of numbers from 1-200, which are used for produce, milk, flowers, and meat coming through the registers. It has been a long busy day and I was getting a bit bored with repeating the same spiel over and over, so I decided to mix it up a little bit.)

Me: “Your total comes to $94.55. Would you like to pay by cash, card, or firstborn child today?”

Customer: “Firstborn child? How much is she worth?”

Me: *turns to customer’s daughter* “How old are you this year?”

Customer’s Daughter: “I’m five and two thirds!”

(I put the number five into the system, which corresponds with a 750 gram bag of tomatoes, worth $3.50.)

Me: *to the customer* “She’s worth $3.50.”

Customer: “D***, not enough. It’ll have to be card.”

(The transaction finishes and she starts to head off.)

Customer: “Can I pay with my husband next time?”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34

| OR, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I’m next in line at a chain arts and crafts store. Everyone who shops here complains about how long the lines always are, and how there are never any employees around, but I think it’s more because there is ALWAYS a difficult customer at the front of the line.)

Customer: “I’d like to do an even exchange, this ribbon for this yarn. I don’t have a receipt for the ribbon.”

Cashier: “Well, we don’t do exchanges without a receipt, but I can do a return on the ribbon and then we can use the money you’ll get back toward the yarn.”

Customer: *death glare at the cashier* “Fine.”

Cashier: “It looks like you’ll get $2.61 back for the ribbon. I’ll just put that toward the yarn if that’s okay?

Customer: “Yes.”

Cashier: “Okay, and the yarn comes out to $2.51. So you’ll actually get a dime back!”

Customer: “WHAT?! I TOLD YOU I WANTED AN EVEN EXCHANGE! WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, this is just the price of the yarn. I have nothing to do with it. It’s in your favor. You’re getting money back.”

Customer: “WHY WOULD I WANT MONEY BACK?! I HATE THIS STORE! EVERYONE HERE IS SO INCOMPETENT!”

(Everyone in line stares in confusion as she storms out of the store with the yarn and not the dime. As I’m next in line, the cashier looks at me.)

Cashier: “Well, then. Looks like you get a 10-cent discount on your purchase, miss! I hope that’s okay; I know money’s so darn inconvenient these days!”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 33
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 32
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31

It’s An Acquired Taste

| Fort Collins, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Wild & Unruly

(I work in acquisitions for a major credit card company. We’re the people you call when you want to sign up for a new credit card, or to be taken off the mailing list for pre-approved credit card offers. This day, I am listening in to help train a new employee. I’ve been explaining to her some of the things about this department before she takes any calls.)

Me: “So, a lot of calls you get will be people wanting to be removed from the mailing list for pre-approved offers. It’s usually not a big deal, but some people make it way bigger of a deal than they need to. So, get used to a lot of yelling and verbal abuse.”

New Employee: “Oh, well, I worked in Retention before transferring here. I had to deal with all SORTS of angry customers trying to cancel their credit cards, so I know how to diffuse angry customers.”

(The phone rings.)

New Employee: “Thank you for calling [Credit Card]. My name is [New Employee]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, you can take me off your d*** mailing list!”

New Employee: “Okay, I’d be happy to help you with that. First I just need—”

Customer: “I can’t believe you people keep sending me this crap! As if I don’t have enough junk mail to deal with already!”

New Employee: “I’m terribly sorry to hear that, but—”

Customer: “And you f****** scam artists, always trying to swindle people with your credit scams! Probably selling my social security number to everyone you know! What if someone else had stolen my mail and filled out this offer in my name?!”

New Employee: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but to—”

Customer: “Do you know how much of a headache you cause me with your d*** f****** junk mail?! I oughtta sue all your a**** for everything you’re worth!”

New Employee: “Ma’am—”

Customer: “You haven’t heard the last of me! I’ll tell everyone I f****** know to stay away from you! All you’ve done is harass me!”

New Employee: “Ma’am, can I—”

Customer: “Well, F*CK YOU!” *slams down the phone, ending the call*

Me: “Welcome to Acquisitions.”

This ID Is Sub-par

| Westchester, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(I am the customer in this story. I am checking out with a few items of food and some beer. I keep my ID and subway card in the same pocket of my wallet.)

Cashier: “Could I see some ID?”

Me: “Sure!”

(Not paying any attention, I hand her my subway card.)

Cashier: *holds card while staring at me, waiting for me to notice it’s not a driver’s license* “Um…”

Me: “Oh, oops! Sorry!” *hands her my ID*

Her Coworker: *while bagging my groceries* “Now, if it was a twenty, that might have worked!”

Total Recall

| WI, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

(Whenever a customer hands me actual cash, I always recount it and repeat the sum back to them to ensure they have given me the right amount, The customer is in a rush and not listening to me.)

Me: “With your coupons, your total is $12.34.”

(The customer hands me $21 and some change while looking at the display.)

Me: “Out of $21.46?”

(She ignores me so I enter the amount into the computer, take out her change and close the drawer.)

Me: “Your change is $9.12. Would you like your receipt with you or in the bag?”

Customer: “What? I didn’t want change back! That’s why I gave you exact change! I should be getting $5 back!”

Me: “No, Ma’am. I told you the total was $12.34 after your discounts and repeated how much you gave me back to you.”

Customer: “But the display says $16.46! Give me the right change back; I’m trying to lighten my purse and I don’t want coins!”

Me: “That was before the discounts. The display shows the amount due after discounts on this side of the display.” *I reach over the monitor to point*

Customer: “Open the register back up and get me the correct change! NOW!”

Me: “The register will only open for a cash transaction.”

(The lady continues to yell at me, disregarding her own stupidity until another customer eventually pushes in front of her while giving her a dirty look.)

Next Customer: “She told you the correct total and you didn’t bother paying attention.”

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