November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Money

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 40

, | Manchester, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work full time in a call centre for a major UK Bank.)

Me: “Hello, you’re speaking to [My Name]. How I can help?”

Customer: “I am mad about this!”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that. How can I help?”

Customer: “Well, frankly [My Name], I understand how you can justify this! You have ruined my day completely!”

Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Well, like I said, I don’t understand this. I spent all the money on my credit card and I cut it up. WHY DID I RECEIVE A BILL FOR IT?!”

(There is a long pause while I attempt not to laugh at this.)

Me: “You do realize that this is money you have borrowed from the bank? It is isn’t free money!”

Customer: “But why do I have to pay? I cut it up!”

Me: “That doesn’t invalidate the bill; this is an amount you have borrowed from the bank which needs to be repaid. Just because you throw it away doesn’t cancel the debt!”

(After several attempts to explaining to customer that she needs to pay and the customer screaming like a banshee:)

Customer: “But how will I pay this? Absolutely ludicrous. You people didn’t make aware of this at all! I thought it all ended if I just cut up the card. I shouldn’t have to pay this debt if I don’t have the card! I want to make a complaint about this.”

Me: “Okay, hold the line. I will put you through to complaints.”

(I could only imagine the pain the poor man went through on the other line, and I could only hope the customer learned a valuable lesson!)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 38
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 37

How Em-Bra-assing

| GA, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(I am working the customer service/returns desk when a customer approaches the counter. The customer has quite an attitude throughout the whole transaction.)

Customer: “I think I was charged wrong!” *thrusting receipt at me*

Me: “All right, let’s take a look.”

(She pulls two bras out of her bag and points at clearance stickers on each, one is marked $9 and one is marked $7.)

Customer: “These bras rang up wrong!”

(I find the bras on the receipt, and sure enough the one marked $9 rang up for its original price… however, it was also VOIDED OFF at the original price and not rung up again for the clearance price. In other words, she didn’t pay for the $9 bra.)

Me: “Well, this bra you didn’t pay for.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “You can see here, it rang up for $12.94…”

Customer: “Right! It’s supposed to be $9! It rang up wrong!”

Me: “Yes, but if you look just below it, it was voided off… and not added again at any price,. Therefore, you have not paid for that one. Now, as to the other one, oh, if you’ll look here, it rang up for $5.”

Customer: “I told you! They are not ringing up right! The sticker says $7! They should be ringing up at the right price!”

Me: “Well. ma’am, I can re-ring this one and charge you $2 more if you really want me to, but this other one you haven’t paid for at all, so there’s not much I can about it except ring it up for you at $9.”

Customer: *mutters* “Ring it up.”

(I rang up the $9 bra and she paid for it without another word.)

Trying To Re-Coup

| Tampa, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(I answer the phone while working the register during holiday rush.)

Customer: “Hey, I made a several hundred dollar purchase a few days ago during the big sale. And I got a 20% off everything coupon today. Can I bring the coupon in and get 20% off my original purchase?”

(Is this a test? A recorded call from one of my superiors, because this cannot be serious.)

Me: “I’m sorry. That coupon is intended for your next purchase, not one that was already completed!”

Customer: “But I spent so much money! Can’t I just return everything and then re-buy everything with the coupon?”

Me: “I’m sorry. That is incredibly unlikely and will not work. That coupon is intended for the next purchase.”

Customer: “But I spent so much money… You sure?”

Me: “I’m pretty gosh darn positive. Have a nice day, though!”

(The lines were already backed up and I could not imagine if she honestly tried to bring everything back in and argued for the coupon discount!)

A Catalog Of Errors

| FL, USA | Food & Drink, Money, Technology

(I am working a temporary account for a well known holiday gift catering service that specializes in meats and cheese. The account has ads in newspapers, and in their catalogs and website.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How may I assist you?”

(The caller sounds like a woman in her late thirties.)

Customer: “Hi, I saw you were having a special sale on a spiral cut honey glazed ham. I’d like to get one of those.”

Me: “I’d be happy to order you one today. May I have the gift code?”

Customer: “I don’t see a gift code. Where is it?”

Me: “It should be in a box on the side of the page, with the gifts letter designating the code.”

Customer: “I don’t see it? I’m scrolling up and down and don’t see any boxes.”

(I get a sinking feeling but keep strong.)

Me: “Oh, do you have a catalog or are you on the website? If you need assistance using the website I can help you with that as well.”

Customer: “I’m on the website.”

Me: “All right, then instead of looking for a gift code, all you need do is look for the button that says ‘add to c-‘”

Customer: “I know that! What do you think I am, a moron?! I want to order items off the website, over the phone!”

Me: “I can certainly do that for you. Now what weight spiral cut ham is it?”

Customer: “It’s the 20-pound for $35.99.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. The only 20-pound ham we have is for $49.99.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not possible. I’m looking at it!”

Me: “Is it a special offer?”

Customer: “Yes, it is. That’s obviously why I want to order it!”

(The sinking feeling kicks in all the way.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we cannot use the website specials in place of catalog specials. Website specials are for the website only.”

Customer: “So you’re telling me that I cannot get this ham for the price that it is advertised at?! That’s false advertisement!”

Me: “No, ma’am, you can, but you have to order it online. The systems at the call center can only process catalog specials. You can order the product online, just not through the phone.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to order it online. I want to order over the phone!”

(At this point I’m at a loss. My manager has noticed how long the call has taken, and takes a headset to listen into the call.)

Customer: “Here, I have a gift code, like what you asked before. Try that!”

Me: *I try the gift code that she pulled out of thin air* “It says it is void in my system, ma’am. As I’ve explained this is only an Internet offer and—”

Customer: “Can’t you just adjust the price of the ham on your end?! I’ve had people do that for me before!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but all catalog prices are as shown. We cannot adjust the product price.”

Customer: “What the h*** kind of customer service is this?! I want to speak to a manager!”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am. I’ll call him right over.”

(I mute my mic and take a moment to explain what my manager has missed on the call. My manager un-mutes his mic.)

Manager: “Hello, my name is [Manager], supervisor for [Company]. How may I be of assistance?”

Customer: “Your employee is refusing to give me correct price for a ham!”

(My manager then takes another 10 or so minutes on the phone. Outside of the call, I kind of get to laugh at the trouble the woman gives him. And then on top of THAT, after he re-explains EVERYTHING I have already told the woman, she demands to speak to HIS manager. The MOD manager, a woman I’ve never even seen before, comes on to the floor and takes a mic. She looks bemused.)

MOD Manager: “Hello I am [MOD Manager], [Manager]’s manager. How may I—”

(The woman on the other end immediately sets off on a rant.)

MOD Manager: “Ma’am, this is a business. You’re wasting our time. If you want an online product, order it online. Good-day.”

(The MOD manager doesn’t wait for a reply, just hangs up on the customer and turns to us.)

MOD Manager: “Thanks for the call. I needed a laugh.”

Going On And On And Coupon

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(I used to work as a cashier at [Large National Chain]. One afternoon I am ringing out an elderly couple’s groceries. The elderly woman has a duplicate coupon for an item that she can only use one for. I give it back to her and try to explain that we don’t allow duplicate coupons. The woman becomes irate.)

Elderly Woman: “We already spend so much money here! Why can’t we just use it?”

Me: “Ma’am, you only have one of those items, and the coupons are only good for one item each. You can get another one and use the coupon, but I can’t ring the second one up when you only have the one item.”

Elderly Woman: “I don’t understand. My husband and I spend so much here. Can’t you just allow it?”

Me: “I can’t. I’m sorry, but the coupon won’t even scan, and I’m not allowed to hand-key it in at this location.”

Elderly Woman: “That’s stupid. Just forget it.” *throws her items at me* “I don’t understand why you can’t just do it when I spend so much money here.”

(I apologized to the woman and continued scanning her items. Later, I was working at the customer service desk and she went up and complained about me. To me.)