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    Category: Money

    Running Some Marriage Checks

    | OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

    (A man comes up to my teller window and gives me an account number that he wants to deposit a check into. I pull up the account to see that his wife is the only name on the account, but the check is written out to him.)

    Me: “Hmm, do you have an account with us? Since the check is written out to you, I would have to first deposit it into your account and then transfer it to your wife’s account.”

    (After having to explain this concept a couple more times, he gives me his own account number, and I notice just how much the check is for: almost $30,000.)

    Me: “You know, I am actually going to need to put a three-day hold on this check.”

    Husband: “What? Why?”

    Me: “It’s based on a lot of factors, like your account activity and current balance, which is not much and under $500, and that you’ve chosen to come to a branch an hour from your house, which is a little odd.”

    Husband: “What? I’ve been banking here for 30 years; you’re not putting a hold on my check. That’s just ridiculous. It’s a good check! Give it back to me. I’ll just take it somewhere where they’ll actually be happy to take my money!”

    (After several more minutes of this, I ultimately agree to not put any hold on the check and he leaves. I show the check to my supervisor a couple minutes later, who says that we ARE going to put a hold on the funds. My manager is about to call the customer to let him know, when a woman walks up to my station.)

    Wife: “Hi, I wanted to transfer my husband’s check into my account. He was just in here.”

    Me: “Oh hi, give me just a second.”

    (I grab my supervisor, who tells her that we will need to put a hold on the check, so we can’t transfer it to her account just yet.)

    Wife: “Oh that’s fine. We don’t need the money now, but my husband is just so bad with his money that he’s not allowed to touch it. That’s why we keep it in my account. Otherwise he would just spend it.”

    Me: “Oh, well thank you for understanding!”

    Wife: “Oh I don’t care. It’s not a big deal. My husband was probably not very nice about it though, was he?”

    Me: “Haha, well…”

    Wife: “Yeah, he’s not very sociable.”

    Saving Money And Wasting Time

    | Brighton, England, UK | At The Checkout, Money

    (I work for a supermarket that has launched a ‘price promise.’ If you spend more in the supermarket than you might have spent in a competitors, the till system automatically prints a coupon for the difference. If you saved money over shopping with competitors, it prints a little ‘for information’ slip to tell you how much money you saved over going elsewhere.)

    Me: “That’s £14.87 please, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh! I have this coupon! I can save 50p!”

    (The customer hands me a ‘for information’ slip that is not actually a coupon.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid that’s an advice slip. You already saved your 50p on your last shop.”

    Customer: “Exactly, so I get 50p off now, right?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. This piece of paper says ‘You saved 50p’ and is for information only. If it was a coupon, it would have the writing ‘Save 50p off your next shop!’ instead.”

    Customer: “So it’s a coupon?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. It’s for information. If it was a coupon it would have the text as I described, and also a barcode beneath for me to scan to apply that discount. As there is no barcode, regrettably it is not a coupon, and unfortunately I cannot credit you with this 50p.”

    Customer: “So why did they give me a coupon to save me money if I can’t actually save any money?”

    Customer’s Husband: “FOR LORD’S SAKE WOMAN! The lady has very nicely tried to explain several times that THIS IS NOT A COUPON. You ALREADY saved your money, so you can’t save it twice. Can we PLEASE just pay and go before people start questioning why I’ve not divorced you yet?”

    Customer: “Oh, sorry dear.” *and to me* “Sorry to you too dear! I don’t understand why they gave me a coupon I can’t spend though.”

    Customer’s Husband & Me: “It’s not a coupon.”

    Some People Never Change

    | UK | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I’m on my first shift at a new grocery store job as a cashier. The store isn’t very busy, and things have been running quite smoothly. A middle-aged customer and her teenage daughter approach my register. I ring her up and bag her items.)

    Me: “That will be £8.90, please.”

    (While smiling sweetly at me, she hands me £10. I give her the appropriate change and receipt.)

    Woman: “Um, excuse me, trainee, but I handed you a £20 note.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry, I’ll just check that for you.”

    (During the transaction, I had opened only the register to put her £10 inside. Due to store policy, all £20 notes have to be put in a security box under the register. Therefore, no £20 notes are in the register at all. I apologize, and explain this to her. She is all the while still smiling sweetly.)

    Woman: “No, stupid girl, it was definitely a 20, wasn’t it?” *turns to her daughter*

    Daughter: “Yeah, I saw it.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but there is absolutely no physical £20 note in my cash register. Please, feel free to look.”

    (She leans over and looks, then withdraws, still smiling.)

    Woman: “Well, you must have just pocketed it while I wasn’t looking. Let’s not drag this out, honey. I’m not leaving until I get my change.”

    (At this point, I call over my supervisor to help me deal with the situation. The woman explains her stance and I tell him exactly what I informed the customer. My supervisor explains that he would be more than happy to review security footage if she suspects theft. At this point her smile seems to disintegrate.)

    Woman: “I really don’t have the time for this nonsense. If my hard-earned money means so much to that tramp then she can keep it.”

    (The woman finally picks up her bag and leaves, her daughter following briskly, but not before telling me to ‘get a life.’ My supervisor leans in and speaks in a low voice.)

    Supervisor: “Don’t worry about her. The girl she was with does the same thing whenever there’s a new face on a register. Now I see where she gets it from.”

    Pray For Her Math Students

    | Asheville, NC, USA | Books & Reading, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (As the manager of a large bookstore, part of my job is to call customers who have written bad checks to arrange payment. I call one such customer. I identify myself and verify that I am speaking to the check-writer.)

    Me: “I’m calling in regard to a check you wrote for $534 on [date]. It has been returned for insufficient funds, so we’ll need you to come by—”

    Customer: “Oh my God! I can’t believe you’re calling me about this! I gave you the books back!”

    Me: “I’m sorry? You gave them back? Did you speak to anyone?”

    Customer: “Of course! I gave them to the cashier and filled out paperwork!”

    (On a hunch, I search the returns for her name. She did return the books, and got a cash refund.)

    Me: “Okay, I see you brought them back on [date] and got a cash refund. Is that right?”

    Customer: “Yes! And you should be fired for calling me at home for no reason!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you still have to pay for the bounced check.”

    Customer: “What? I don’t have the books! I am not paying for books I don’t have!”

    Me: “You wrote a bad check for merchandise, then returned the merchandise for cash. But the check is still worthless and has to be paid.”

    Customer: “What kind of idiot are you? Listen carefully: I. Do. Not. Have. Your. Books. I gave them back and that’s the end of it.”

    Me: “I’m afraid it doesn’t matter whether you have the books or not. Now, instead of books, you have our money and we still have a worthless check. You really need to take care of this, or it will be a police matter. I’m sure you don’t want me to go to the magistrate.”

    Customer: “Are you calling me a thief?! If you turn me into the police, I’ll have YOU arrested for false reports! I’ll have your job for this! I am a school teacher! I teach math!”

    Me: “Ma’am. I need you to follow along here. You wrote a bad check for merchandise, and then returned that merchandise for cash. That is fraud, and it is in an amount that can get you in serious trouble.”

    (The customer screams about how I am trying to rob her of money, then hangs up. I phone back a few days later, to give her another chance. Still furious, she sticks to her guns. I try my best, but she just won’t listen or try to understand. After sending her several certified demand letters, I have no choice but to file a criminal complaint. And being over $400, it is a felony fraud charge. Not long afterward, I get a final phone call from her.)

    Customer: “ARE YOU THE B**** WHO SENT THE POLICE TO MY SCHOOL?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I had to turn your NSF check over for prosecution because you refused to pay. I gave you many chances to avoid that.”

    Customer: “I MIGHT LOSE MY JOB! I have never been so humiliated! I’m going to sue you and your company for this! You are going to jail for what you’re doing to me!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I’ve tried everything to make you understand, so do what you think you need to do.”

    (Ultimately, she is found guilty and told to pay the check and fee, plus court costs. Even when the magistrate explains it to her, she refuses to believe that she owes the money.)

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 23

    | The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Money

    Customer: “I have a direct debit, but now you’re charging me extra costs. Why? You can just take the money from my account!”

    Me: “Well we tried twice, but the bank refused the payment. That’s why we sent you two reminders before adding the costs. Did you receive the letters?”

    Customer: “Probably, but I never read your mail because I have a direct debit.”

    Me: “But how are we supposed to let you know something is wrong if you don’t open the mail? We’re not sending you spam; we’re sending you a legitimate message.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but as I said I don’t read them. So, now I feel I don’t have to pay the costs, because I didn’t know the payment failed.”

    Me: “But we told you in the letters that the payment failed. Twice.”

    Customer: “I DON’T READ THEM. You should have let me know!”

    Me: “We did! How else were you expecting to receive our notices?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! I just think the costs shouldn’t be charged.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the costs are correct. You just told me that you received our letters, but you don’t read them. We let you know that the bill wasn’t paid and stated in our letters when the payment was due to prevent the costs. I am fully willing to discuss payment, but you will have to pay the costs.”

    Customer: “I am not happy about this. I was expecting more from you.”

    Me: “More? What were you expecting besides two letters?”

    Customer: “I don’t know. Just… more…”

    (The customer did end up paying the costs. I’m still wondering to this day what kind of ‘more’ he expected from us.)

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12


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