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    Category: Money

    Just Paper Cut Right To It

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Rude & Risque

    (I answer the phone at work.)

    Customer: “Hi. My name is [Name] and I am with [Gentlemen's Club].  I am going to need to order some change.”

    Me: “Okay. What will you need?”

    Customer: “I need $1,400 in old ones.”

    Me: “I believe I have $1,400 in ones, but I am not sure if they are all old.”

    Customer: “Oh, I have to have old ‘ones’ because the new ones give the strippers paper cuts.”

    A Truly Confusing Exchange

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology, Tourists/Travel

    (I have a customer who is getting ready to travel out of the country. I often have people ask about using cash, travelers checks, and credit cards while abroad.)

    Me: “… Another option that is available to you is using ATMs to get cash out once you are where you are going. That way you aren’t walking around and traveling with a large sum of cash.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I can get some money and exchange it at a bank there.”

    Me: “No, you can just get the money from the ATM directly without having to

    exchange it.”

    Customer: “But the money I get from the ATM is US dollar.”

    Me: “No, the ATM dispenses the local currency.”

    Customer: “Why can’t I get money from an ATM when I’m out of the country?”

    Me: “You can. It will just be in the local currency.”

    Customer: “This is unacceptable! Why can’t I get US money from an ATM?!”

    Me: “Because the ATM is not in the US. The same reason our ATM out front does not dispense any money other than US currency.”

    Customer: “I just can’t understand why I can’t get my money when I’m traveling!”

    Do Not Like

    | USA | Bizarre, Language & Words, Money

    (I work at a branch in a college town, so our customers are often in their late teens. I have just been commenting to a coworker that all these kids make me feel old when this happens.)

    Customer: “I, like, want to, like, deposit some money in, like, my, like, account.”

    Me: “Certainly. Is that going to checking or savings?”

    Customer: “Like, checking?”

    Me: “Of course. Do you want all of your check going in or would you like some cash back for yourself?”

    Customer: “Like, can I, like, get $20, like, back?”

    (I process everything through and the customer leaves.)

    Me: *to coworkers, who are dying laughing* “And that, my friends, is the future of the world. Dear god, I hope she isn’t an English major.

    Verbal Abuse Of Contract

    | Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “You have a 24-month contract. If you cancel before the end of the agreement you will have an early termination fee.”

    Customer: “I am telling you verbally to cancel the contract. So you can’t charge me a fee.”

    Me: “Ma’am, you signed the contract. It is binding. Do you recall signing the contract when your service was activated?”

    Customer: “Yes, I signed the contract. But it’s void because I’m telling you verbally to cancel it.”

    Me: “Telling us to cancel the contract does not void it. That’s like calling my mortgage company and saying my contract is invalid and I don’t owe any more payments because I am telling them verbally it’s cancelled.”

    Customer: “But I am saying it. Verbally. So now I don’t have a contract.”

    (I sent her a copy of her contract. Hopefully someone helped her to understand what a contract was.)

    Be The Change You Want To See

    , | Houston, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money

    (I’m picking up my son from elementary school when he asks for ice cream. The man selling outside is in his 50s-60s and pushing an ice cream cart in 100+ degree weather. There’s a 10 year old boy with his 5 year old sister ahead of us.)

    Girl: “I want that one”

    Boy: “How much is that?”

    Ice cream Man: “$1.50″

    Boy: *to sister* “We only have two dollars.”

    Sister: “I want that one.”

    (She points to another that also turns out to be $1.50, this goes on for another three times until the man finally sells them for $1 instead of $1.50.)

    Boy: “I’ll take two.”

    (The man’s expression seems like he can’t afford to lose a penny but he gives it to them anyway.)

    Son: “I’ll take that one.”

    Ice Cream Man: “That’s $1.00.”

    (I hand him $3.00 and tell him it’s to cover the kids in front of us. The man seems so relieved it made me wish I had more change.)

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