Category: Money

More Taxing To Some People

| Austin, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(A customer brings a pack of gum to the counter. The MSRP, 69 cents, is printed on it.)

Me: “Okay, that’ll be 75 cents.”

Customer: *practically yelling* “No, it says 69 cents right here!”

Me: “Yes, and sales tax makes it 75.”

Customer: “Tax is 8 cents to a dollar, and this is less than a dollar, so there isn’t supposed to be any tax on it!”

Me: “That’s… that’s not how sales tax works…”

(He left without buying the gum.)

Paying Caesar’s Things Back To Caesar

| IL, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Religion

Customer: “Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?”

Me: “Nope. Your total is $7.00.”

Customer: “I don’t pay non-believers.”

Me: “Well, it’s a good thing you’re paying [Delivery Company], then.”

Customer: “Do you know any commandments, you Satan worshipper?”

Me: “Thou Shalt Not Steal. Seven dollars, please.”

(Then he threw a $10 on the counter and left. Three bucks for Satan!)

Some Customers Really Need To Change

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

(I work as a cashier in a small grocery store. An older woman comes to my register with two gallons of milk and some bread.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total comes to $10.08.”

Customer: “I only have ten dollars!” *waves a ten dollar bill in my face*

Me: “You know what? I’ll just pay the difference for you, since you’re a regular.”

Customer: “Fine.”

(I take a quarter out of my pocket, complete the transaction, drop the change in my pocket, and hand her the milk.)

Me: “Have a great day, ma’am!”

Customer: “Where is my change? The screen says my change is 17 cents.”

Me: “Well, since I used a quarter to pay just the eight cents I took the rest of the change back.”

Customer: “You should give it to me! You’re stealing from me, you little b****! Let me talk to your manager!”

(She continues to yell at me and my manager for a few minutes, calling us evil thieves.)

Manager: “No one is stealing from you, ma’am. She didn’t even need to pay the difference on your total.”

Customer: “I’m never coming back here again!”

(She storms out.)

Driving Her Own Price Up

, | CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Transportation

(A policy holder calls to complain about the very high premium she is paying for her auto insurance. I review the policy with her and determine that she’s had many accidents and violations. Easily the worst driving record I’ve seen, and I’ve been doing this job for years.)

Customer: “So, what can be done so that I don’t pay so much?”

Me: “As your driving history is the reason for the high premium, there are no opportunities to reduce the cost until your record improves.”

Customer: “There has to be something you can do?”

Me: “I’ve verified that the price is accurate. There is nothing more I can do.”

Customer: “Is there something I can do?”

Me: “Have you had a recent check up with a doctor to see if there is a physical reason you are having difficulty while driving? You may want to consider using public transportation, at least until you’ve been medically cleared.”

Customer: “There’s nothing wrong with my health, and I’m not going to stop driving!”

Me: “If you must continue to drive, I’d suggest taking a driver education or improvement course.”

Customer: “You’re joking, right? I’m a good driver! Everyone gets into a bit of trouble now and again!”

(This call was chosen by my supervisor for monthly call review and coaching, which was less than a week later. There were already two more accident claims filed!)

Give Her Family Credit

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Money

(Our system uses a PLU (Product Listed Under) list, which consists of numbers from 1-200, which are used for produce, milk, flowers, and meat coming through the registers. It has been a long busy day and I was getting a bit bored with repeating the same spiel over and over, so I decided to mix it up a little bit.)

Me: “Your total comes to $94.55. Would you like to pay by cash, card, or firstborn child today?”

Customer: “Firstborn child? How much is she worth?”

Me: *turns to customer’s daughter* “How old are you this year?”

Customer’s Daughter: “I’m five and two thirds!”

(I put the number five into the system, which corresponds with a 750 gram bag of tomatoes, worth $3.50.)

Me: *to the customer* “She’s worth $3.50.”

Customer: “D***, not enough. It’ll have to be card.”

(The transaction finishes and she starts to head off.)

Customer: “Can I pay with my husband next time?”

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