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  • Category: Money

    Doesn’t Know Beans About Listening

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a cashier in restaurant with a store attached. All purchases, either food or merchandise, are done through me. When a customer finishes their meal, they bring me a receipt to pay for their meal, along with any other things they feel like buying. Like many stores, we have an item we try to sell to every customer who comes through the line. Its currently jelly beans.)

    Me: “Hello, sir! How are you today? Did [Server] take good care of you?”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah. She was great.”

    Me: “Is that everything for you today? Would you like to add on any jelly beans today? We have a bunch of different kinds, with just about every flavor.”

    Customer: “Yes, please. Seven.”

    Me: *shocked* “Seven, sir? Absolutely. which kind would you like? We have the regular 20 flavors, sour, ice cream, smoothie…”

    (I proceed to list every bag I can think of.)

    Customer: “What? No. I want to add seven.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, but I need to know what kind you want.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? I. Want. To. Add. Seven.”

    Me: “Seven what?!”

    Customer: “DOLLARS.”

    Me: “Sir, are you referring to a tip? You want to add seven dollars for your server?”

    Customer: “Yes! What else would I be talking about?”

    Me: “Well, sir, I had just asked if you would like to add any jelly beans to your purchase today…”

    Counting And Discounting

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Math & Science, Money, Top

    (I’m a cashier at a place that sells small items of furniture, storage containers, and so on. We are having a 10% off sale. My last customer caused a huge amount of trouble due to getting angry and shouting over not understanding the difference between 10% and $10, so I’m feeling frazzled. A mother and her child, probably seven or eight, come up to my register and start unloading their items while they talk.)

    Mother: *to the kid* “Now, this container was $19.95, but we bought two, so how much is that?”

    Kid: “$39.90!”

    Mother: “Well done! But remember, there’s 10% off today. What’s 10% of $39.90?”

    Kid: “$3.99, so the real price would be… umm, $35.91?”

    Mother: “That’s right! Nicely done! But now here comes the hard one, so look out! I have my membership card!”

    (The child’s eyes widen. Membership cards give a further 25% discount.)

    Kid: “Okay, okay, umm…”

    Mother: “You can do it!”

    (By this time, I’ve scanned the items and bagged them. Just as I’m about to say the total, the child beats me to it.)

    Kid: “$26.93!”

    Mother: “Fantastic job! I think we get to stop at the playground on the way home!”

    Kid: “Yes!” *jumps up and down gleefully*

    (After my last customer, a fully grown man who couldn’t understand what a percentage was, I’m literally dumbfounded. In the end, I call my manager and we give the mother a further employee discount, which her child also worked out.)

    Takes A Toll On The Soul

    | USA | Bizarre, Money, Religion

    (I am a phone customer service rep for a government agency that has been strongly encouraging constituents to use our website for basic governmental functions. It is my first day out of training.)

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello. I just want to know if you charge spiritual taxes to people of certain religious beliefs?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: “Spiritual taxes. Do you charge them for using your website?”

    Me: “… I think that’s more a question for your religious leader of choice, but no, to the best of my knowledge we do not charge taxes on the soul for using our website.”

    Caller: “Oh, wonderful!” *click*

    Returns From The Dead

    , | Pasadena, MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology, Transportation

    (At the auto parts store I work for we offer free battery charging for any car/truck/boat batteries as long as they do not test bad.)

    Customer: “I’d like to get this battery charged please.”

    Me: “Okay, let me just test it real quick.”

    (This battery looks like crap, but it’s not leaking so I go ahead and test it.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this battery is not good. It has a bad cell in it. I can’t charge it.”

    Customer: “What do you mean it’s bad?! This battery is pretty much new. You need to charge anyway.”

    Me: “Not gonna happen. It is actually dangerous if I try to charge this.”

    Customer: “I demand you charge this right NOW!”

    Me: “No. Your battery is dead; no amount of charging is going to bring it back. You will need to get a replacme—”

    Customer: “I SAID, CHARGE IT!”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Well, I demand to—”

    Me: “I am the manager. I will NOT charge this battery. It has a bad cell, and there is no way this battery is anywhere near new. Judging by the inch worth of grease around the case and the ungodly level of corrosion on the terminals, I would say this battery is at least 7-8 years old. And If I were to attempt to charge this over sized paperweight, there is a chance it could explode and cause serious damage to the people around it.”

    Customer: “But—”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “But—”

    Me: “Not happening.”

    Customer: “Crap… but I can’t afford a new battery.”

    Me: “Look, give me a chance to check the back. We do have a used battery program, and I may have one in stock.”

    (I walk in the back and find a used battery that fits the customer’s car.)

    Me: “I found this one in the back. Now it is classified as used, but that just means that someone returned a battery with no problems to it, but we can no longer sell it new.”

    Customer: *brightens* “Really? How much?”

    Me: “$43.”

    Customer: “Really? That’s great! I was worried that I was going to have to spend hundreds on a new battery. Thank you so much!” *buys battery and leaves*

    Me: *to coworker* “Why do people always demand we bring dead things back to life?”

    Coworker: “I don’t know, but let me know when you figure out how to do that.”

    A Chequered Credit History

    | GA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (We had just stopped taking checks the day before. A customer walks in, and starts writing a check.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t accept checks. You can pay with cash, or a debit or credit card.”

    Customer: “Do you know who I am? My family has owned ALL of the pharmacies here in town for the last hundred years!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Our system won’t allow checks. You’ll have to pay with another option.”

    Customer: “My family has more money than this whole mall!”

    (The customer then pulls out a credit card to pay.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Your card was declined.”

    (The customer walked out of the store without saying another word.)

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