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    Category: Money

    Has A False Sense Of Security

    | NM, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work outside of an ATM at night. I drive a company vehicle with the word SECURITY and the company phone number on both sides. One night a woman pulls up to the ATM. She sits in her car for a few minutes, and I can’t see through the tinted windows. Eventually the door flies open, and she runs as fast as she can into the small room where the ATM is. I can’t actually see the ATM or what she’s doing until she comes back to the door, but she comes to the door, leans against it, and watches me intently. I don’t do anything, but I know where this is going. After a few minutes and realizing I don’t want to waste the police’s time, I move the car to a parking spot (passing the bank door so she can see the side of the car), and get out of the car. As soon as I open the car door, she bolts as fast as she can from the bank into her car. Then she rolls down the window an inch, sees me (in a security uniform, with a badge on it) and screams:)

    Customer: “I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE OR WHY YOU’RE WATCHING ME, BUT I’M GOING TO CALL THE NUMBER ON THE SIDE OF YOUR CAR AND GET YOU ARRESTED! CREEPY PERSON SITTING OUTSIDE THE BANK! DON’T FOLLOW ME!”

    (I never heard anything more about this incident, so she must not have called, but I can’t understand how she saw the number, but not the SECURITY written right above it.)

    Eventually Made The Right Decision

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bizarre, Money

    (I work as a claims adjuster for a major insurance company and have made a liability decision on a minor parking lot accident in which both parties told the exact same story. Unfortunately my client was majority at fault, but we would only be paying 60% of the other party’s repairs. I call my customer and leave a message regarding the liability decision and my phone number. He calls me back a short time later.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe you did this!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

    Customer: “How could you do this without calling me first! You decided I was at fault!”

    Me: “Sir, I took a recorded statement from you and from the other party and outlined exactly the kinds of things would factor into the decision.”

    Customer: “But you didn’t call me first!”

    Me: “I did call you; I took your statement.”

    Customer: “But then you made a decision!”

    Me: “Sir, it’s my job to make a decision, as you know, and I don’t need your permission or approval to do so.”

    Customer: “I know! But I can’t believe you did that!”

    Me: “Sir, are you contesting liability? You both told the exact same story and given the facts and damage to both vehicles, you’re both telling the truth. No matter how we look at it, you were backing out and didn’t pay attention to what was behind you.”

    Customer: “I know! I agree that’s what happened!”

    Me: “Then why are you upset? How can we resolve this?”

    Customer: “You made this decision!”

    Me: “Sir, I had to make a decision. Again, are you questioning the liability decision? Do you have other information to add?”

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “Sir, then please tell me what you want me to say because I simply don’t understand how to resolve this for you.”

    Customer: *pauses* “Well, you know what? I’m just mad about the whole thing. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “I’m really sorry. I work in customer service and I hate when people call and yell at me, and that’s what I’m doing to you. You made the right decision, I accept it, and I’m sorry for yelling at you. I just… needed to yell at someone.”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Well… thank you, then. I can definitely understand that!”

    Customer: “Thank you for being so patient with me. I’m really sorry, again, to have yelled at you and hope the rest of your day goes better.”

    Me: “Thank you.” *we go on to resolve claim payment and I explain repair procedures, etc.*

    Manager: “I heard you talking and picked up to listen in. I didn’t know what he was angry about either!” *laughing* “I’ll put a few notes in file about how you handled the call.”

    (A few minutes later, a team leader comes up to my desk.)

    Team Leader: “Hey, I just wanted to let you know I just took a call from a guy who said he just yelled at you for no reason. He wanted to make sure your supervisor knows he thinks you’re excellent at your job, you’ve provided great customer service and he’s happy with the outcome of his claim. I’m passing this on to your team leader and manager.”

    (I STILL laugh about that call, and think it’s one of the reasons I was promoted shortly afterward. Thank you, sir!)

    A Few Planets Short Of A Solar System

    | Cartersville, GA, USA | Bizarre, Math & Science, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the administrative offices of a museum. One of my job duties is to answer the phone. The following call takes place one afternoon.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [Museum]. May I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I would like to sign up for the astronomy workshop.”

    Me: “Are you a member?”

    Caller: “No, but I want to be. How much does it cost?”

    Me: “There are different levels…”

    (I explain the different levels of membership and prices.)

    Me: “If you join today, I can give you the member price of $10 for the workshop and book your spot. If you are unable to join today, I will have to wait until the advance member registration is over and the cost will be $25.”

    Caller: “I guess I need the family membership to cover my daughter and my mother. Well, she’s really not my mother but the nursing home was going to throw her out on the street…”

    (She tells me a lengthy story about how a woman who isn’t her mother came to live in her home.)

    Caller: “But I don’t have $95 to pay for it. I really want to come!”

    (At this point she begins sobbing hysterically because she wants to come to the workshop, but we are only accepting member reservations at the moment.)

    Caller: “I come and sit in your parking lot on the weekends and watch the happy expressions of people who are leaving your museum, wishing I could go in. Sometimes I will come and walk amongst the trees and think about what is going on inside the museum.”

    (At this point, I’m a little creeped out but I try to help her because I feel a little sorry for her.)

    Me: “I think it would be okay to make an exception for you and let you sign up, and even give you the member price.”

    Caller: “Oh, thank you. Thank you. I will come see you next time I come to walk among the trees.”

    (She never showed up for the workshop. I guess she got tired of walking among the trees.)

    Not Reassuring To Those Doing Insuring

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work for an insurance company. Sometimes we issue customers a card with funds for things like hotel and food. While our call center is there 24 hours, we have limited access, particularly to information relating to payments and funds. As these things are rarely ever an emergency we’re asked to transfer the calls to the claims associate, who is typically out on Saturday.)

    Customer: “I got a credit card from your company that I can’t access. And I can’t reach the adjuster.”

    Me: “Okay. It’s Saturday today and I don’t think anyone is in.”

    Customer: “You guys should have a phone number somewhere where I can call and get the pin number. Or have it on file or something.”

    Me: “I’m afraid we don’t. Was there not a letter with that card that had that information?”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I threw it away!”

    Don’t Discount A Customer’s Inability To Discount

    | UK | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work for a catalogue company and I’ve just finished taking an order over the phone. I know that each catalogue comes with a unique discount code that gives substantial savings. The customer hasn’t quoted her discount code. I decide to prompt her, so she doesn’t miss out.)

    Me: “I notice that you’re ordering from the spring catalogue. You should have a discount code on the front page.”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Great. Could you give me the number?”

    Customer: “The what?”

    Me: “The six-digit discount code number?”

    Customer: “The ‘discount’ what?”

    (She doesn’t seem hard of hearing and we both have the same regional accent, but I speak louder and slower, just in case.)

    Me: “Discount NUMBER.”

    Customer: “The what-number?”

    Me: “The DISCOUNT NUMBER.”

    Customer: “Where is it?”

    Me: “On the front of the catalogue.”

    Customer: “I don’t see it.”

    Me: “It’s at the very top of the page.”

    Customer: “Where?”

    Me: “Along the top of the front page, in a white box.”

    Customer: *pause* “15% off.”

    Me: *finally getting somewhere* “Great! Now, if you could give me the six-digit code number at the end of that sentence.”

    Customer: “It says I get ’15% off.’”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. I just need the six-digit discount code so my computer will make the reduction.”

    Customer: “There’s nothing else here.”

    Me: “That’s odd. Can you read to me exactly what it says?”

    Customer: “To get 15% off” *stops*

    Me: “Carry on…”

    Customer: “Please quote… oh! It says here ‘DISCOUNT CODE.’ Is that what you wanted?”

    Me: “Yes please.”

    Customer: “So, have I got my discount?”

    Me: “Sure, if you give me the six-digit discount code.”

    Customer: “I don’t see it.”

    Me: “Could you read the full sentence to me?”

    Customer: “15% off.”

    Me: “Okay, could you read all of it to me? Including the bits before and after the ’15% off.””

    Customer: *huffy* “To get 15% off please quote discount code 123456.”

    Me: *enters in number* “Great, so you’ve got 15% off your order.”

    Customer: “Finally! God, you people make these things so difficult!”

    Related:
    Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount

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