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    Category: Money

    Dressing Up The Situation More Than Required

    | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

    (I work in a small corner shop. It’s around two pm and the store is pretty dead. A lady walks in and purchases a large quantity of alcohol, paying in cash. She spots the engagement ring on my finger as I hand her the change.)

    Customer: “Aww, are you getting married?”

    Me: “Yeah, I’ve been engaged for almost two months now.”

    Customer: “That’s nice. I’ve been married for just under thirty years now.”

    (She reaches back into her purse and pulls out a twenty pound note.)

    Customer: “You seem like such a sweet girl. Here, take this. Put it towards your husband’s suit or something.”

    (I don’t like taking other people’s money, especially from strangers, so she puts it on the counter.)

    Me: “Well, um, actually my, uh, girlfriend and I are both gonna be wearing dresses but thanks.”

    (I don’t tend to discuss my personal life with customers much, and this one showed me why. Nodding for the briefest of moments before she realised what I’d said, her eyes widened in shock and she turned around and sprinted out of the store faster than I would have believed for someone of her age, leaving behind the £20 as well as all her purchases. We kept them behind the counter for a week before my boss decided to donate them to me and my now wife for our wedding. It’s been a month now since the wedding, but no-one since has asked about it.)

    Damaging Your Chances

    | Allentown, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (A husband and wife are browsing the store, with the wife wanting to buy things and the husband saying everything is too expensive. Finally she selects a figurine from our clearance rack.)

    Husband: “Wait, this is only [price]? The one over there was [bigger price]. What’s the difference?”

    Me: “This one is damaged, sir. It fell on the floor and the head broke off – you can see where I’ve glued it back on. It’s a clean break, but we can’t in good conscience sell it at the full price.”

    Husband: “So if I get the other one and break it, you’ll sell it to me for the cheaper price?”

    Me: “No, sir. I will call security because you’re intentionally damaging our merchandise.”

    (They did buy the clearance figure, but hurried out without their receipt. To my knowledge, they’ve never come back.)

    Reached The Tipping Point

    | Huntsville, AL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Money

    (We are catering a Christmas party for a client and his seventy employees. The party includes an open bar and dinner. There are four servers, and two bartenders. I am a bartender. After five hours of making non-stop bar drinks, and receiving non-stop compliments on our drinks, last call arrives, and this conversation happens.)

    Client: “I need to go ahead and sign the check. Can you print me one ticket for everything?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Here you are.” *hands over one complete invoice*

    Client: “I needed this separate.”

    Me: “Oh, yes, sir. I’m sorry. Here.” *separates food and drink tickets and hands them over*

    Client: “No, this isn’t right. I need a complete ticket.”

    Me: “I don’t understand. You want the tickets together?”

    Client: “No! Where the h*** is [Server not working that night]? She knows how I want things done! I REQUESTED HER AND SHE ISN’T HERE TONIGHT!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know why she’s not working. Now, about the ticket…”

    Client: “NO! I REQUESTED HER. She’s my friend; she knows how I want things done on the invoice. I won’t come back next year for my Christmas party if you won’t do what I want.”

    Me: “If you could explain to me, I can help you.”

    Client: “Never mind, I’ll just sign this ticket. Did you autograt this?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, 15%.”

    Client: “And you’re sharing that with everyone working tonight?                  ”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Between six people.”

    Client: “Well, then, that’s more than enough for you.” *signs, leaves no extra tip, and stomps out*

    (He baffled the entire crew, since he spent five hours giving us nothing but compliments on our service, and never once mentioned the other server’s absence. I can only guess that when he saw the large bill, he made up a reason to be angry so he wouldn’t have to tip any extra for the incredible service we provided. Splitting the 15% between the servers, we barely made minimum wage.)

    No Longer Power-Mad Over Those With Power

    , | TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

    (At the fast food place where I work we’re constantly getting customers complaining about the prices of our food, mostly when it’s only women working the counter. Though we tell them they can call the number provided to complain to our main branch, they never do. This day, however, corporate representatives, including the owner of the store, was at our restaurant for a routine inspection.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe how high this stuff is! This is ridiculous!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but we have no control over the prices.”

    Customer: “It’s still f***ed up! You need to lower the prices!”

    Manager: “Sir, I have no control the price of the food. However, if you have a problem with it, you can go talk to the man in the tie right over there. He’s the one that sets the prices.”

    (The man looks at the owner and turns back, red-faced. He takes his food and leaves the store, not even glancing back in the direction of the owner.)

    Manager: “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

    (He’s never complained about the prices since.)

    The Rules Are Carved In Stone

    | KY, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

    (I ring up a lady who got only a carving pumpkin, which are quite large, and she slides her card through the machine. Note: I’m 16 and relatively new to my job.)

    Me: “That’s weird; it didn’t charge your card.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “It charged $0.00 to your card. Could you slide it again for me?”

    Customer: “No, it’ll charge me twice.”

    Me: “Well, it charged $0.00 the first time, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

    Customer: “Fine.”

    (She slides her card again. This time I realize she’s using food stamps.)

    Me: “Oh, ma’am, it’s not food stamp eligible.”

    Customer: “Yes, it is.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s not.”

    Customer: “Pumpkins are technically food, so yes, it is.”

    Me: “The computer doesn’t think it is.”

    Customer: “Look, kid, have they not taught you in school yet that you can pay for food with food stamps?”

    Me: “Ma’am, these are ‘carving’ pumpkins.”

    Customer: “Okay, now you’re p***ing me off. Pumpkins are food. Now, ring it up right or I’m going to talk to your manager.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I understand that pumpkins are food, but we sell these pumpkins specifically for carving, not for eating.”

    Customer: “Pumpkins. Are. Food.”

    Me: “Do you intend to eat it?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Are you going to eat this pumpkin, ma’am?”

    Customer: “…no, but that shouldn’t matter.”

    Me: “Ma’am, food stamps are for people who can’t afford to buy food themselves. If you can afford to use them to buy decorations, then maybe you shouldn’t be using them.”

    Customer: *she glares at me for a second, then hands me a five dollar bill* “Unbelievable.”

    (She then stormed out.)

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