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    Category: Money

    Wined And Dined And Fined

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (I wait tables at a popular Chicago Italian restaurant that gets a lot of traffic from Cubs fans on game day. Another waitress has a table full of young men who have come down from an affluent suburb to see the game. They’re very friendly, and charming, and drinking up a storm. She drops their check, and goes to serve another customer and comes back to find that they’ have ‘dined and dashed.’ We are required to cover our tickets, so she is now $100+ in the hole, and starts trying to pick up a later shift so she doesn’t lose money. A few other waiters head over to the bar where we usually go after our shifts. One comes back, bursting with excitement.)

    Waiter: “Those guys who stiffed you are all drinking at the bar!”

    (Our restaurant also happens to be a popular cop hangout. One of our regulars, a 6’9″ fierce-looking cop, who is sitting in the poor waitress’s station at that very moment, speaks up.)

    Cop: “Can you take care of her tables for a moment?”

    (The cop takes the waitress down the street to the bar, with several of us following to see the fun, and storms up to the group of young men.)

    Cop: “Gentlemen, I believe you forgot to take care of something this evening.”

    (Horrified, the young men frantically dig through their pockets and start throwing money at her. She ends up with a 50 percent tip!)

    Not So Smart-Money

    | Perth, WA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I’m a blackjack dealer, and get many players that are confused when a blackjack (ace and 10, jack, queen, or king) beats a hand with a total of 21.)

    Player: “How did your hand beat mine? We both have 21.”

    Me: “I have blackjack and you have 21. Blackjack is a winning hand.”

    Player: “It’s like the casino just wants to make money.”

    No Vocation For Location, Part 9

    | Folkestone, Kent, UK | Extra Stupid, Money, Tourists/Travel

    (I am serving two customer, who are talking amongst themselves.)

    Customer #1: “You off on holiday then?”

    Customer #2: “Yeah, off to France. Need to get my money!”

    Customer #1: “What do they use in France anyways?”

    Me: *having overheard* “They use the Euro over there, madam.”

    Customer #1: “Nah, they don’t! France ain’t in Europe! It’s just across the Channel!”

    (Folkestone is a port on the English Channel separating the UK and France, and is just 26 miles away from the French town of Calais!)

    Related:
    No Vocation For Location, Part 8
    No Vocation For Location, Part 7
    No Vocation For Location, Part 6
    No Vocation For Location, Part 5
    No Vocation For Location, Part 4

    Hasn’t Got A Mind For Business

    | Draper, UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a call center for a website that sells musical equipment. A customer has called in with a complaint. He places an order for a pair of powered speakers. There is also a canceled order for a different pair of powered speakers. Apparently, the wrong set of speakers was canceled and the customer is very upset that he received the wrong speakers. I immediately set up a return/exchange for him so he could get the speakers he wanted. For some reason, he was also under the impression that the price he was quoted for the second set of speakers was for the speakers and a wireless microphone. Unfortunately, it was just for the speakers.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the price you were quoted is only for the set of speakers. If you want to add the wireless microphone to the order, it will be [price].”

    Caller: “That’s not right. I was quoted [price of speakers] before! I want that price!”

    Me: “I do apologize, sir. I can’t get you that price. You need to pay for the microphone before we can send it to you.”

    Caller: “I already paid for it! It was on the order with the other speakers!”

    Me: “That order was canceled, sir. We didn’t take any money from you for that order.”

    Caller: “You’re wrong. I paid for that.”

    Me: “No, sir. You didn’t. The order was canceled. We legally cannot take money from you until we ship something out. Since that order was canceled, it was never sent out. You did not pay for that order. If you would like to add the wireless microphone, your order total will be [price].”

    Caller: “NO, IT’S NOT! YOU’RE WRONG! NOW SEND ME WHAT I BOUGHT!”

    Me: “You didn’t buy them! The order was canceled!”

    Caller: “That’s not my fault! I shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s mistake!”

    Me: “I apologize, sir. It is our fault, but we can’t just send you the microphone for free.”

    Caller: “I don’t want it for free! I want it at the price I was given!”

    Me: “To get it to that price, I would need to send it to you for free. I cannot do that.”

    Caller: “That’s not my fault. It’s not my problem. I shouldn’t have to eat that money. It’s your mistake! Now give me what I paid for, d*** it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you did not pay for those items. We will not send them to you. The order was canceled, so you did NOT pay for those.”

    Caller: “Well, in my mind, I did!”

    A Centless Journey

    | Fort Wayne, IN, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (A customer places a book at my register to check out.)

    Me: “Did you find everything alright today?”

    Customer: “I did! I’ve been waiting to get this book for a long time. Wait a moment… Oh, no. I think I left my coupon at home.”

    Me: “What a shame! How much was your coupon for?”

    Customer: “It was a special coupon for 25 percent off any item.”

    Me: “Well, you’re in luck! I happen to have an extra coupon under my register. It’s for 20 percent off any item.”

    Customer: “But mine was for 25 percent. Your coupon won’t save me as much money.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, take a look at the price tag on the book. It’s only $10. With your coupon, the price would drop to $7.50, and with mine the price would be $8.00. It’s only a fifty-cent difference.”

    Customer: “But my coupon would save me more money! Can you hold the book for me? I’m going to go home and get my coupon.”

    Me: “Where do you live?”

    (The woman gives me an address on the other side of town, probably a 40-minute round trip at least.)

    Me: “Are you sure you want to drive all the way home? The time and gas alone are probably worth more than the 50 cents you’d save with your coupon. Why don’t you just use this 20 percent off right now?”

    Customer: “No. My coupon would save me more money than your coupon would.”

    (She leaves. An hour later, she’s back with her coupon.)

    Customer: *smiling* “Look how much money I just saved!”

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