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    Category: Money

    Ripping Your Credit To Pieces

    | Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I am at the checkout and overhear this conversation between my manager and a customer she just finished helping.)

    Customer: “You gave me a ripped dollar bill. I need you to replace it.”

    Manager: “I didn’t give you the ripped bill.”

    Customer: “Are you trying to call me a liar? I want a manager!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, I am a manager, and you just paid with a credit card.”

    Use Your Inside Voice Invoice

    | Tulsa, OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work in a cafe and store that serves a large corporate staff which works in the building, and only them. I am in the back office working on orders and balancing accounts when I overhear an exchange between a member of my staff and a customer escalating.)

    Cashier: “Okay, ma’am, all told that will be $11.30.”

    Customer: “Ya’ll are too f****** proud of your f****** food. No way in h*** am I paying that!”

    Cashier: “I am sorry, ma’am, but all our prices are clearly posted and this is the total for the items you have selected.”

    Customer: “Like h***! I worked in food, I know how it works, and this is overpriced! I want to see your b****-a** manager; where’s he hiding!?”

    (I come out of the office and address the customer.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I have heard, quite clearly, everything you have said, and I assure you the prices are right.”

    Customer: “Prove it. Prove that the s*** cost you four bucks!”

    (I dig through my paperwork and find the appropriate invoice and bring it out to the customer. She looks through it with an expert eye.)

    Customer: “See! F*** you! This s*** should have only been like $13!”

    Cashier: “Okay, ma’am, that’ll be $13.”

    Not A Laptop Flop

    , | Chicago, IL, USA | Money, Technology

    (I’m a consultant and cashier at a popular electronics store. Most people come into the store to buy laptops and computers, and it’s part of my job to promote our computer repair service on every purchase. It just turned dark and it’s my last customer I have to deal with, who’s buying an expensive laptop. Some kids are playing outside and making a lot of noise.)

    Customer: “I don’t really want your protection plan. I’m really careful with my things.”

    Me: “Are you sure? We have a discount that reduces that price every year you have it, and it’s not a high price to begin with.”

    (After a minute of trying to convince him to buy it, he relents.)

    Customer: “Whatever. I’ll get it, I guess.”

    (I ring up his purchases, including the protection plan.)

    Me: “Thanks for shopping at [Store], and have a nice day!”

    Customer: “Yeah, you too—”

    (Out of nowhere, a few of the kids playing outside bump into him and knock his things to the ground, including his laptop. I can hear some shattering noises from all the way from my station. The customer looks into the box he had his laptop in and everything in it is completely broken. He looks straight at me blankly and amused.)

    Customer: “Good thing I got that protection plan!”

    Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 4

    | New Zealand | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (My manager is serving a customer who has asked for a discount.)

    Manager: “Sure, I can give you 10% off.”

    Customer: “Hmm, what about 15%?”

    Manager: *feeling generous* “Yeah, I suppose I could give you 15% off.”

    Customer: “What about 20%?”

    Manager: “20% is okay.”

    Customer: “30%?”

    Manager: “15%.”

    Customer: “30%?”

    Manager: “10%.”

    Customer: “What do you mean 10%? You already said I could have 20%.”

    Manager: “Which you asked for and I agreed but you upped it; you can either take the 10% now or my next offer.”

    Customer: “Hmmm, I’ll take the next offer then.”

    Manager: “Zero percent discount it is, then.”

    Customer: “What? You can’t do that!”

    Manager: “I just did.”

    Getting Loony Over A Loonie

    | Niagara Falls, NY, USA | Geography, Money

    (The border crossing tolls between Canada and the US are $0.75 US; or $1.00 Canadian, which is a pretty fair exchange rate at the time.)

    Toll Booth Operator: “Toll, please.”

    Driver: *hands over a loonie — a Canadian $1 coin*

    Toll Booth Operator: “Thank you; have a nice visit!”

    Driver: *just sits there*

    Toll Booth Operator: “Did you need something else? Customs is on the other side.”

    Driver: “No, I’m waiting for my change.”

    Toll Booth Operator: “You’re not due any change; you gave me a loonie.”

    Driver: “Yes, but I’m American!”

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