Category: Money

Remember, Remember, The Fifth Of October

| Saratoga, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(It is about a half hour from closing when the phone rings. If you want to pay for delivery with a card, you have to do it over the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. This is [My Name]. Will this be for pickup or delivery?”

Customer: “Delivery, please.”

(We go through the normal ordering process of phone number, address, what she actually wants; when we get to the payment.)

Customer: “Yeah, I like, want to charge it.”

Me: “Okay, I just need your card number whenever you’re ready.”

Customer: “It’s [Number].”

Me: “Expiration date?”

Customer: “October 2014.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s coming up declined. Let’s try the number again.”

Customer: *in a huff* “Okaaay, it’s 4… 2… 3…”

(She’s saying each number slowly and dramatically, as if I processed it wrong because I’m stupid. I’m a bit disgruntled until the next part happens.)

Me: “And for the expiration, I have ten-fourteen?”

Customer: “No, October. Like, eleven-fourteen.”

Me: “Okay, I think I see the problem here. You’re all set and it’ll be about forty minutes. Have a great night.”

Receipting Back A Decent Dose Of Karma

| Detroit, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money

(I am working the register when I am approached by a mother, daughter, and grandmother with a return, which happens to be a $140 coat.)

Me: “Oh, I see you have a return. Was there anything wrong with the coat?”

Mother: “No, her uncle bought it for her and she doesn’t like it.”

Me: “All right, I’ll just need to see the receipt.”

Daughter: “I wasn’t given a receipt when I got it.”

Me: “Okay, not a problem. However, I will need to see some form of ID and I can only return it for the current sale price.”

Mother: “Okay, that’s no big deal.”

(I enter all of the required information, scan the item and am ready to complete the transaction.)

Me: “You’ll be getting back $84.80. Did you want a copy of the receipt sent to your email?”

Mother: “What? No, the coat was $140. That can’t be right.”

Me: “Like I said ma’am, the coat is currently on sale and that’s the price I can return it for.”

(The grandmother decides to chime in.)

Grandmother: “Listen here, you little s***. My son paid $140 for that coat; now we want a full refund. My granddaughter shouldn’t be punished for your god-d*** incompetence.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but there is nothing I can do without the receipt.”

(After being cussed out by the entire family, the girl, without even looking, promptly reaches into her purse and pulls out the receipt. I scan it and the return comes out to $84.80.)

Me: “Once again, you’ll be getting back $84.80, and would you like a copy of your attitude sent to your email?”

(The family quickly grabbed the coat and hustled out of the store.)

She’s Not Stupid, She Just Acts Like It

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(I am a manager and have been called up to the register by my cashier because a customer is disagreeing with a price on a cat bed. They have pre-printed prices and have just gone up in price. We have missed tearing one of the old price tags off. The beds are also on sale for $3.00 off with a rewards card.)

Customer: “This bed of a different color said it was $14.99 but it’s ringing up as $19.99.”

Me: “Of course! The price of these actually just changed. We must have missed that other one while taking the tags off. I can change that for you.”

(I go to the screen and point the numbers out to the woman as I speak.)

Me: “Okay! So, the bed is also on sale today for $3.00 off. So what I’m going to do is push the computer to change the price to $17.99 and then it will automatically take off that additional $3.00 for me, bringing the price down to that $14.99 for you today!”

Customer: “Okay, so the bed is on sale, after being $14.99? So shouldn’t the price be lower?”

Me: “The sale is for $3.00 of off the $19.99 price. So if I price match that lower price for you, it’s the lower price of the two options.”

Customer: “But the other bed said $14.99 and it’s on sale! I’ll show you!”

(At this point I try to interject as I believe her 100% and have no problem changing the price for her. She insists though and I wait patiently for her to bring the bed back to me. Meanwhile, her husband is laughing and apologizing for her. Note, she had no idea the bed was on sale previously.)

Customer: *holding the other bed out to me* “See! This says $14.99 right on the tag.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, and that’s what you’re paying for the bed today.”

Customer: “But it was on sale!”

Me: *getting agitated* “Yes, ma’am, it is, off the price of the bed now. But since we forgot to remove that price tag I’m giving it to you for $14.99 instead of $16.99.”

Customer: “Okay, but if I came into the store right now and went to go get a bed, how much would I pay for it?”

Me: *exasperated* “$16.99!”

Customer: “Listen, I’m not stupid! I’m a smart person; I’m just trying to get you to understand. I need to understand. Why am I paying that much for the bed?”

Me: *literally throwing my arms in the air* “Ma’am, how much would you like to pay for the bed today!?”

Customer: “It’s not that! It’s the principle of it!”

Me: “No, Ma’am. I am not going to stand here all day and argue with you. Please, tell me how much you think you should pay for the bed and I will change it for you.”

Customer: “No, just forget it! I’m not stupid; you’re missing the point.”

Me: *sighs* “All right, Ma’am. Well, you have a great day.”

(I walked away, finding several associates in the nearby aisles, that had been listening and laughing. Apparently, after checking out, she tried to explain to my cashier how I was wrong, expressing again how she wasn’t stupid!)

Unlimited Capacity To Be Annoying

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I am working at a high end outlet store, welcoming customers, when the power unexpectedly cuts out. Most of the customers are understanding of this when we ask everyone to please leave the store and offer to hold items behind the register until the power comes back and we can ring people out.)

Customer: “These are MY items; you can’t steal them from me. I am going to BUY them.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but we cannot check you out without power.”

Customer: “Why not? You can’t add prices without the cash register?”

Me: “Ma’am, you have over $4000 dollars worth of merchandise here. Do you have that much cash?”

Customer: “Ugh, no one carries that much cash. I have a credit card. Unlike SOME people I have an UNLIMITED card.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but I cannot run your card with no power. If you will please give me your items, I will hold them here. We need to vacate the store now, please.”

Customer: “It’s an UNLIMITED CARD. Do you understand what that means? It means I CAN’T be denied! UNLIMITED!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but I still have to run the card. Please give me your items.”

Customer: “NO! You’re going to steal my things. I have an UNLIMITED CARD!”

(Finally my manager and a security guard were able to get her out of the store until power was restored. The best part? When she came back to buy her items, her card was declined.)

Abroadly Lying

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Liars & Scammers, Money

(I work in a cancellations department for a high end TV provider. On a day where I’ve had decent customers, I get one who has a discounted service and the following happens:)

Me: “You’re through to [cancellations]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Hi, there. I need to cancel my account. I’m moving abroad.”

Me: “No worries. Your account will cancel in 31 days and you will pay one last bill.”

Customer: “Wait, why didn’t you offer me a discount to stay?”

Me: “Because you can’t take your service abroad with you.”

Customer: “My friend said if I try to cancel you’ll give me a discount.”

Me: “Well, your friend was wrong. We can’t transmit the service outside the UK.”

Customer: “But I want one!”

Me: “Are you moving out of the UK?”

Customer: “No. I lied. Can I have my discount, please?”

Me: “We are a business, not a charity. We provide a service that you pay for. That doesn’t make you entitled to a discount. Plus you’re getting 75% off your package so you’re not getting another discount.”

Customer: “I will go to [Competitor] if you don’t make it cheaper than what I’m paying for the same service.”

Me: “They aren’t available in your area and you’re currently tied to a contract.”

Customer: *screams and hangs up*

(Cheeky cancellation save!)

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