Category: Money

Sums Up The Point Quite Nicely

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

(A customer comes up to my register ranting about how “Kids today don’t know math!” I’m in high school.)

Customer: “Kids today are just so ignorant! I’ll bet this girl here doesn’t even know any basic math!”

(She then starts quizzing me on mental math as I’m trying to ring out her order. By the grace of God, I get all of them right.)

Customer: “Well, I guess you’re the exception to the rule, then.”

(She then counts out her change for me.)

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes?”

Me: “Your total was $10.60. You only gave me $10.50. I think you miscounted.”

Customer: *embarrassed* “Oh.”

(She quickly recounts her change and leaves.)

Coworker: “That was the best thing ever.”

If It Ain’t Broke, Book It!

| New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

(This conversation takes place over the messaging system on my website.)

Customer: “Hi. Are you available to come out to [Place approx 50 minutes from where I am located] to take some photos of my car club’s meet up?”

Me: “Hi, there. What date are you having the meet up?”

Customer: “The 18th of this month. How much will it cost?”

Me: “Yes, I am free then. Cost will depend on how many hours you require me to be there, All your photos are included in the price and will be edited and placed on either USB or disk for you.”

Customer: “Um, I don’t know. A couple of hours or so.”

Me: “Okay, well, the best deal I can give you is $[total] for the first hour and $[other amount] for every half hour after that. The travel costs are included in the first hour.”

Customer: “Oh, I can’t afford that; I’m a bit broke at the moment.”

Me: That’s fine. Unfortunately, I cannot lower the price anymore. However, if you do change your mind let me know and I would be happy to schedule you in.

Customer: “Bummer, Do you have a camera I could just borrow for the day? I won’t wreck it or anything.”

Me: “I am sorry, but I cannot lend my equipment out.”

Customer: “I will be real careful; I could even give you a $20 bond.”

Me: “No, sorry. I am unable to do that, maybe you could ask a friend to borrow their camera.”

Customer: “Nah, they are broke, too.”

Me: “Okay, then. If you change your mind about scheduling in with me let me know. Have a nice day.” *bangs head on desk*

Freely Bathing In Stupidity

| Hiram, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Pets & Animals

(The pet store I work at sells coupon books for $20 that are meant for people who are planning to buy puppies or have just bought them. They greatly help with a lot of the up-front cost and include a sign-up for the customer to continue receiving coupons through their email. A customer comes up with a grooming slip to pay for her dog’s grooming. She is holding a puppy kit and reading it over.)

Me: “Hey, how are you today? Find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yeah. Hey, am I allowed to take this book thing home with me and decide later if I want to come back and buy it?”

Me: “Um, no, ma’am. You have to purchase merchandise before you are allowed to leave the store with it.”

Customer:” Oh… Well, I guess I don’t want it then. Maybe I’ll get it some other time.”

(She puts the puppy kit back with the ones at the register and places the grooming slip and a coupon on the counter. I notice the coupon is for $5 off the grooming. In the puppy kit, there is a coupon for a free puppy bath which is what is listed on the grooming slip. To try and save her some money, I decide to explain that to her.)

Customer: “Hmm… sounds good. I’ll take it.”

Me: “So you do want to get a puppy kit?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: *confused look* “Then what are you wanting to get, ma’am?”

Customer: “Just the free bath.”

Me: “Ma’am, the coupon for the free bath is in the puppy kit.”

Customer: “So, I’ll take the coupon. But I don’t think I want the kit today.”

Me: “Ma’am, unless you purchase the book I can’t just give you a free bath. It’s a coupon included in the puppy kit and you can’t use the coupons without buying it first.”

Customer: “Oh… Well, I don’t want the kit thing tonight.”

Me: “Okay. I’ll just run it through with the $5 coupon, then.”

Customer: “Yeah, that would be good. Since I can’t get the bath for free without the book, I’ll at least save something that way…”

Should Have Been Carted Away

| Cedar Hill, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(The woman currently being served has a shopping cart PILED with food, clothes and toiletries, but most of it has been rung up and bagged, so I think she is almost done. However, the next man in line, cart about 2/3 full, turns out to be her adult son, and his cart is added to her purchases. No problem, I think; only one payment to process instead of two, this will be even faster. Then the trouble begins.)

Cashier: “Your total is [nearly $900].”

Customer: “Okay.” *swipes card*

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, it’s declined.”

Customer: “Try it again!”

Cashier: *does so* “Hmm, declined. Do you have another card?”

Customer: “No, I know there’s money on that card! You’re not doing it right!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, sometimes the machine doesn’t read the strip. Let me type your number in manually… No, I’m sorry, it’s still declined. Do you have another method of payment, like a check?”

Customer: “Who writes checks anymore? I got this check CARD! That’s what it’s for!”

Cashier: “How about a credit card? Visa, Mastercard, Amex—”

Customer: “No, credit cards are a scam. Are you saying I don’t have any money? I HAVE MONEY!” *waving debit card*

Cashier: “It doesn’t tell me why it’s declined, ma’am, just that it is. There’s an ATM right there, if you’d like to step out of line and verify your balance while I ring up the next person—”

Customer: “NO! You’re helping ME! Don’t you move!”

(She has her adult son stand behind her carts so I can’t move up to the scanner belt. The cashier sighs, and shoots me an ‘I’m sorry’ look. The customer goes over to ATM and fiddles around for a few minutes, then gets on her cell phone to the bank but is stymied by the automated prompts. I think this surely can’t go on much longer, as we’re approaching the 15-minute mark for her transaction.)

Cashier: “Ma’am, if you can’t pay at this time, I need you to move aside and let other customers through. I can suspend your transaction so we won’t have to ring everything up again when you have your payment ready.”

Customer: “NO. I have money on this card! I always use this card here, and you always give me trouble about it!”

Cashier: “Do you have another card I can try? Or possibly you could remove some items from your transaction and try again with a lower total—”

Customer: “NO! I need all this stuff! And I always pay with THIS CARD! I’m not on welfare. I have money! Why won’t you take my card?!”

(The cashier summons a manager, who tells the woman the same thing; if she doesn’t have a working debit card or other form of payment, she will have to leave her two full carts of bagged items and come back when she can pay.)

Customer: “…and THAT is why I always carry cash!”

(She whipped out a huge roll of bills and peeled off the required amount, with plenty left over, then strolled out with her son and their two shopping carts as every employee and customer in earshot stood with jaws on the floor.)

More Taxing To Some People

| Austin, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(A customer brings a pack of gum to the counter. The MSRP, 69 cents, is printed on it.)

Me: “Okay, that’ll be 75 cents.”

Customer: *practically yelling* “No, it says 69 cents right here!”

Me: “Yes, and sales tax makes it 75.”

Customer: “Tax is 8 cents to a dollar, and this is less than a dollar, so there isn’t supposed to be any tax on it!”

Me: “That’s… that’s not how sales tax works…”

(He left without buying the gum.)

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