Category: Money

Multiple Call Back Attack

| Grove, OK, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I’m the store manager of a lease-to-own business, so I know who my new employee is speaking with on the phone even though he has no idea. The customer, whom I have had dealings with for over six years, would throw fits and scream and cry while flailing about on the beds in our showroom if she didn’t get what she wanted. Previously she wanted me to force my employees to deliver an item to her that she wouldn’t pay for until she’d tested it out in her own house. I explained that we closed in just a few minutes and that I couldn’t allow that. I wasn’t pleased that she’d called back to try and do business again. My employee couldn’t help her to her satisfaction, so I had him transfer the call to me.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Oh, good. You know who I am. I need you to deliver an [electronic item] to my house.”

Me: “Ma’am, due to you not paying your last balance, I am unable to bring the item to you until that balance is taken care of.”

Caller: “You mean I still have to pay that?”

Me: “It’s policy, ma’am. The balance is much like that of a past due fee on library books or rental movies.”

Caller: “I knew it! You just don’t like me. Fine. I call [Competitor] instead.”

(At this point the false tears and the slurred speech begin and I am unable to understand what she’s babbling, but I won’t let her get to me… regardless of how much I may want to go off.)

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. Have a nice day.”

(I hang up and turn to my new employee:)

Employee: “What the heck was that? I could barely understand what she was saying to me.”

Me: “Trust me; you’d be used to it if you had to deal with her. She told me she was going to call—”

(I’m cut off due to the phone ringing. The caller ID shows that it’s the same customer. I (almost gleefully) answer the phone.)

Caller: “Thank goodness. I’m needing an [electronic item] delivered. I just called another place, but they seem to jack up their prices and they lie to all of their customers. They tried to cheat me!”

Me: “Ma’am…. I hope you realize that you’ve called me back. I’m afraid that none of what you’ve just told me was even discussed during our phone conversation. Somehow you’ve dialed the wrong number. Please, call [Competitor’s phone number] instead. Hopefully, they’ll take care of you in whatever way you desire.”

Caller: “…Okay. What was the number again?”

(I gave her the number and hung up. I called the other store and informed them of what had just happened. They told me that they won’t do business with her any longer either, mainly due to her antics and her bothering the other customers with her hysterics. While I was on the phone with the competitor’s store manager… she called them. Luckily, she hasn’t attempted to call back.)

Don’t Drink And Dial And Deliver

| BC, Canada | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Money

(In this story, I’m the unreasonable customer. I had just come back from a bar with my friends, and we are all drunk & craving Chinese food. It’s rather late, but we REALLY wanted some Chinese food, so I call up a nearby restaurant.)

Owner: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi! I’d like to place an order for delivery, please.”

Owner: “I’m sorry, but we’re closed. I’m afraid we’re unable to fulfill orders anymore.”

Me: “Aw, man, really? When did you close?”

Owner: “We actually closed just a few minutes ago.”

Me: “It’s only been a few minutes, right? You couldn’t possibly have started cleaning up already, right? Can’t you do one more order?”

Owner: “I’m sorry sir, but even though the kitchen is still technically open, I still need to send my delivery boy home, as his shift is already over.”

Me: “Is he still there? If he is, tell him that I’ll pay him $50 extra.”

Owner: “One moment, please.”

(The owner puts down his phone and I hear some talking in the background.)

Owner: “All right, he says he’ll do it. May I take your order, sir?”

(I place my order and wait patiently for my food. 20 minutes later, a car pulls up to my driveway. The delivery boy gets out of his car, and walks up to my door with my order.)

Me: “Hi! I’m really sorry for doing this to you, but we’re all drunk as s*** here and the alcohol’s making us want Chinese food.”

Delivery Boy: “It’s okay. You got that $50?”

Me: “H*** yeah, I do!”

Delivery Boy: “Then all is forgiven.”

(I gave him a $50 bill, and I paid for the food on debit. I would later learn that this was very poor judgment on my part, because in my drunken stupor, I ended up choosing the tip option on the debit machine. So not only did I give this poor guy $50, I also gave him a 30% tip on a $90 order. I may have been a dick, but I certainly hope the delivery boy had a good night! Always drink responsibly. Seriously, it may cost you.)

Laptop Flop, Part 7

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology

Me: “How can I help?”

Customer: “I need to buy a computer. I don’t want you to sell me insurance or anything else, just the computer.”

Me: “What will you be using it for?”

Customer: “I need to use ‘The Google,’ and some word processing. I’ve been told by my technical friend it needs two ‘tetrabites’ and at least eight ‘jiggabites.'”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “I think you mean terabytes and gigabytes.”

Customer: “Yes, I am well aware of what I need.”

Me: “For the things you are using it for, I don’t think you will need those specifications. You might end up spending a lot of money and not make full advantage of the machine. You could get a cheaper machine and spend more money on attachments.”

Customer: “No, I know what I need; my friend told me.”

Me: *politely* “Is your friend a technician?”

Customer: “No, he’s a decorator.”

Me: “Right.” *shows customer to a computer that matches her specifications, priced £899*

Customer: “That’s too expensive. I was hoping to spend £150 – £200.”

Me: “We have nothing that cheap. The lowest priced and most basic laptops start at £350.”

(The customer walked off, whilst muttering how customer service was terrible.)

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 6
Laptop Flop, Part 5
Laptop Flop, Part 4

Doesn’t Have The Gift(card) Of Foresight, Part 2

| SK, Canada | At The Checkout, Money

(Customer is paying at the checkout at a world-wide chain supermarket.)

Me: “That’ll be $11 please.”

Customer: *digging out pockets of pants, jacket, and purse* “Where the h*** is my card?”

(Five minutes pass; the line starts to build up.)

Customer: “I’m sorry; I’m looking for my gift cards.” *place five cards on the desk*

Me: “It’s okay, take your time.”

Customer: “You can help others first.” *keeps searching for more gift cards*

(I clear the rest of the line in five minutes.)

Customer: “Here, try this one.”

(Hands me a gift card with three-year-old design and at least 10 cards on the desk. I swipe and it get a $0 balance.)

Me: “Sorry, madam, this one didn’t work out. It has a $0 balance.”

Customer: “Okay, then try this one.”

(I kept trying with her other five cards and they all turn out $0.)

Customer: “How the f*** can that be? That’s why I never trust any of these gift cards! Do they expire or what? See, that one’s got a $20 written (hand-written) on top! Get me your manager!”

Me: “Madam, as far as I know they are required by law not to have an expiry date, and I can get you the manager.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

(I explained the situation.)

Manager: “Well, madam, these cards will never expire, they can only be used up, is there any chance that they’ve already been used up?”

Customer: “H*** no! See this f****** writing?! It says $20 and that one got $30 and that—”

Manager: “Well, then, I can help you figure out how much they worth at my till.”

(The manager cancelled her order at my till, and the customer went with manager to check values of her cards. Later, when I talked to the manager, she said all but one of her cards had value, which added up to $25.30. And after double checking with the pin number of each gift card, Manager was able to pull out records of all the gift cards, rendering the customer speechless and walk away shamefully. Oh, yeah, and she still kept all those empty gift cards in her purse mixed altogether with the only charged one.)

Related:
Doesn’t Have The Gift(card) Of Foresight

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 37

| England, UK | Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “Hello. I’ve got an email from you saying you’ve not been able to take my direct debit this month. Why’s that?”

(I take the customers policy number, confirm his details, and investigate his payments. Nothing’s changed at our end to account for it, so I ask…)

Me: “Did you have [amount] in your account for the payment?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “And you haven’t told your bank to cancel the direct debit?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “No changes, at all, to your bank or finances? Nothing you can think of that may have caused this change?”

Customer: “Well, I closed my bank account recently…”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 36
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 35
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34

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