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    Category: Money

    Death Refunds Her

    | Minnesota, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    Customer: “I’d like to return these pants.”

    Me: “Was there something wrong with them?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t think so. They were my mother’s, but she died.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

    Customer: “It’s okay. Here’s the receipt.”

    Me: “Did she wear these pants?”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “The tags are off.”

    Customer: “She just did that to try them on.”

    Me: “But there’s a Kleenex in the pocket.”

    Customer: “Well, she’s not going to be wearing them anymore. She died.”

    Me: “I understand, but if there wasn’t anything wrong with them and they’ve already been worn then I can’t return them.”

    Customer: “Wouldn’t you rather let someone buy them who is going to wear them?”

    Me: “That’s not for me to decide. If there’s nothing wrong with them, I can’t return them.”

    Customer: “Well, there’s something wrong then! They have a hole in them.”

    Me: “Oh, okay. Where’s the hole?”

    *long pause*

    Customer: “You should just automatically make refunds for dead people!”

    Fanning The Flames

    | England, UK | At The Checkout, Money, Spouses & Partners

    (A customer wants a specific electric fireplace that is discontinued and so we cant order it. One of my colleagues says that they will go to nearby store after their shift and get one. The customer comes in the next day to collect it.)

    Me: “Okay, because this is discontinued and we don’t stock it here, you won’t be able to return it unless it’s faulty.”

    Customer: “Why would I want to return it? I’m not a moron like you are!”

    (He storms out but comes back in the next day.)

    Customer: “This fireplace won’t work! You put me through all this trouble and you gave me a faulty product! I will report you to your manager for all the stress this has caused!”

    Me: “Sir, the box is still sealed. You haven’t even opened it yet.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, my wife didn’t like it. Can I return it?”

    It Also Adds Money This Way

    | Michigan, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    Me: “Will this be credit or debit?”

    Customer: “Credit.”

    (I notice she has the card facing the wrong way.)

    Me: “Alright, you just need to turn the card around.”

    Customer: “Does that make it run as credit, then?”

    Cutting Down Credit Fraud

    | Managua, Nicaragua | Liars & Scammers, Money

    Me: “Thank you for calling [bank], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hey man! I got some fraudulent charges on my credit card.”

    Me: “Ok sir, I understand let me help you report this.”

    Caller: “Don’t worry son, I already took care of it.”

    Me: “So you already called to report it?”

    Caller: “No son, I cut my credit card in thousands of pieces. Now I need a new one.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “Hello, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get a piece of candy?”

    Me:  “Sure, that’s one dollar.”

    Customer:  “Oh. I only have a five.” *starts walking away*

    Me: “Excuse me, Ma’am? I said it’s only a dollar.”

    Customer: “I know. Why would I waste four dollars?”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

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