Category: Money

Finders Stealers

| Wilmington, VT, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Money

(I am bagging groceries at the checkout for a family during Christmas week. This is the busiest week of the year, with many rich out-of-staters coming up to go skiing.)

Little Girl: “Mommy, look what I found! What should I do with it?”

(I look over and see that the little girl has found money on the ground.)

Mother: “Shhhh! Just put it in your pocket, quick!”

(Knowing our store’s policy, I speak up.)

Me: “Actually, if you don’t mind, can I hand it into the service desk? That way, if the person who lost it returns, they can get it back.”

(The little girl hands it to me willingly and I go hand it in. A couple minutes later, the parents come up to the service desk.)

Father: “My little girl found some money on the ground, and some employee made her hand it in. However, I think she should just have it.”

Manager: “Store policy says that if no one comes to claim it after 30 days, then the person who found it—your little girl, in the case—can have it.”

Father: “But it was all tightly rolled up! The person who dropped it was obviously using it to snort coke or something!” *leaves with his family*

(Ten minutes later, the same family managed to con their way into getting the money by speaking with a different employee at the service desk. The real, original owner—one of our regulars—came in two hours later inquiring about $40 he dropped, which at that point was unfortunately long gone.)

Too Taxing On That Brain

| Houston, TX, USA | Money

(If the customer has 1) a very small tax refund in comparison to the preparation fees and 2) a simple tax situation, we will prepare and file their tax return for free. We also run a promotion where we’ll give customers $50 cash if they have to pay for tax return preparation. This is a conversation between my manager and a very loud customer.)

Manager: “Since your refund is $137, I will file your return for free.”

Customer: “Thank you! What about my $50?”

Manager: “I cannot give you $50 because I am not charging you anything.”

Customer: “I NEED THAT $50!”

Manager: *remaining calm* “If I gave you $50, it would be like me paying you so that I can prepare your return, right? To give you the $50, I would have to be charging you something first, right? I am doing this return for you free.”

Customer: “Okay, do that! Charge me!”

Manager: “So you are saying that you would like me to charge you $100 for preparation so that I can then give you $50?”

Customer: “YES!”

Low On Sense

| Gulfport, MS, USA | Money

(I am a cashier. When customers are polite, I have no problem letting them slide on few cents when they are short on change.)

Me: “That’ll be $20.96.”

Customer: “I got $20!”

(He roughly slaps a $20 bill on the counter.)

Me: “Um, it’s $20.96.”

Customer: “I got a hundred.”

Me: “Okay, I can break it.”

Customer: “Well, it’s at my house. What am I supposed to do, go get it?! Just cover it, s***! It’s a couple cents!”

(I make minimum wage and can barely make ends meet. I also don’t open my wallet for rude strangers.)

Me: “It’s $0.96, so I’m not going to just give you a dollar. Do you want to put something back?”

(I start taking items out of his bag to show him what he can put back.)

Customer: “I need all that stuff!”

Me: “You need two packs of cigarettes?”

Customer: “Put the soup back, s***!”

(I void his soup, ring up the rest of his items, and give him his change.)

Customer: *as he’s leaving, sarcastically* “Thanks for your hospitality!”

Me: “You’re welcome! Have a nice day!”

(After he leaves, my coworker comes over.)

Coworker: *laughing* “What were you supposed to do, pay him for being an a**hole?”

Cash Back (And Forth)

| Gulfport, MS, USA | Money, Top

(I am a cashier at a drugstore. A man is buying about $60 worth of merchandise.)

Customer: “Can I pay $40 in cash and put the rest on my debit card?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I take his money and give him his new total. He swipes his card and the machine asks him if he wants cash back.)

Customer: “Oh, yes, I DO want cash back!”

(He gets $20 in cash back. I look at the $40 in my hand and slowly hand one of his 20’s back to him.)

Customer: *has a moment of clarity* “Hm, that didn’t make much sense, did it?”

Me: “No, sir, not really.”

(He leaves with his head down in shame, clutching a $20 bill.)

When Intelligences Cancel Out

| New Zealand | At The Checkout, Money, Top

(I am a checkout operator in a supermarket, and I have just finished ringing up a customer’s order. )

Me: “So, that comes to a total of $36.76.  Is there anything else?”

Customer: “I also want a $50 gift card.”

(I add on the gift card and hand it to her.)

Me: “Okay, now the total is $86.76. Will that be all today?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

Me: “How would you like to pay for your order?”

Customer: “I’d like to use this gift card.” *hands me the same $50 gift card that I just activated for her*

Me: “Uh, you still need to pay for this gift card.”

Customer: “Yes, but I’d like to pay for it with the gift card.”

Me: “But the gift card is worth $50.  Your order is $86.76.”

Customer: *rolls eyes* “Uh-huh, so just pay $50 of it with the gift card, and I’ll give you cash for the rest!”

Me: “So that will take your total back to the original $36.76.”

Customer: *looks at me like I’m stupid* “Duh!”

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