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    Category: Money

    Not Exactly Gifted

    | Culver City, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (Customer has been hovering around my register for the past few minutes.)

    Me: “Can I help you find something, sir?”

    Customer: “Do these gift cards have expiration dates?”

    Me: “Nope, they’ll last until you feel like spending them.”

    Customer: “Oh. Uh, where can I find the restroom?”

    (As soon as I turn around and point to the bathroom, he grabs a rack of gift cards and sprints for the door, trailing cards behind him.)

    Me: *yelling after him* “Sir, those don’t have anything on them until you purchase them.”

    (He stops at the door for a moment, then sheepishly returns and puts the rack back.)

    Customer: “Why don’t you guys have a freaking sign out saying they’re empty?!”

    If You Build It, They Will Come Early

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Top

    (I am working on a new gas station still under construction. Please note that the station is still nothing but a concrete building and new pumps. The gas signs read ‘00.00’.”)

    (A customer pulls up in a car and sits there for ten minutes. She then lays on the horn. I go over to her, and she looks extremely annoyed.)

    Me: “Do you need some help, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Finally! Yes, I want my free gas!”

    Me: *puzzled* “Free gas?”

    Customer: *ridiculous sigh and rolling eyes* “Yes! The sign says zero dollars, so the gas must be free! You have to give me some or I’ll sue for false advertising!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we’re not even open yet. We haven’t even finished the roof on the building, we don’t have gas yet. See all the construction stuff?”

    Customer: “Well there’s a sign! It says gas for zero dollars and I want my gas for zero dollars! Now!”

    Me: “Again ma’am, I’m sorry but there is no gas at this station. We’re still building it, we’re not open. Those gas pumps aren’t even hooked up yet.”

    Customer: “Well that’s completely unacceptable! You shouldn’t put signs up before you’re open!”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we’re still building it.”

    Customer: *screaming* Well you shouldn’t build it until you’re open! Idiot!”

    Taking A Leap (Year) From The Truth

    | Rothschild, WI, USA | Home Improvement, Money

    Customer: “I bought this heat gun a month and a half ago. I don’t have a receipt. I just want an exchange.”

    Me: “You bought this a month and a half ago? About early June?”

    Customer: “Yes. I just want an exchange.”

    Me: *double checks computer* “Sir, we discontinued this almost a year ago. We sold our last one this past October.”

    Customer: “Maybe it was a little longer than a month and a half…”

    Read Her Lips

    | Brisbane, Australia | At The Checkout, Money, Top

    (I am scanning a customer’s order when I notice she is buying a $30 lip-gloss that is also being given away with a magazine).

    Me: "Miss, if you’d like to buy [magazine] for $7.20, you get this exact lip-gloss free inside."

    Customer: "But I don’t want the magazine. I just want the lip-gloss."

    Me: "I understand, but even if you give the magazine away, you still get the lip-gloss for $7.20 and save $22.80."

    Customer: "Do I look like a charity? I’m not going to give away a $7 magazine. Haven’t you heard of saving money?"

    Me: "Well yes, what I’m saying is you can save money by buying the magazine–"

    Customer: "Stop trying to rip me off and scan my lip-gloss!"

    (I ring up her lip-gloss for $30 and she storms off. The next customer puts the same magazine on the counter.)

    Next Customer: "I don’t want it either, but I have half a brain."

    Death Refunds Her

    | Minnesota, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    Customer: “I’d like to return these pants.”

    Me: “Was there something wrong with them?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t think so. They were my mother’s, but she died.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

    Customer: “It’s okay. Here’s the receipt.”

    Me: “Did she wear these pants?”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “The tags are off.”

    Customer: “She just did that to try them on.”

    Me: “But there’s a Kleenex in the pocket.”

    Customer: “Well, she’s not going to be wearing them anymore. She died.”

    Me: “I understand, but if there wasn’t anything wrong with them and they’ve already been worn then I can’t return them.”

    Customer: “Wouldn’t you rather let someone buy them who is going to wear them?”

    Me: “That’s not for me to decide. If there’s nothing wrong with them, I can’t return them.”

    Customer: “Well, there’s something wrong then! They have a hole in them.”

    Me: “Oh, okay. Where’s the hole?”

    *long pause*

    Customer: “You should just automatically make refunds for dead people!”

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