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    Category: Money

    About To Get A Fist For A Dollar

    | Fort Knox, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Top

    Me: “Your total comes to $2.15.”

    Child Customer: “Okay.”

    (He slides his card, touches the key pad and reaches for his things.)

    Me: “Hun, you paid through gift card and there wasn’t enough to cover it all. You’re short 46 cents.”

    Child Customer: “Oh, um…can you just remove something?”

    Me: “I can’t cancel a transaction in the middle of it.”

    Child Customer: “Well, I don’t want the drink no more.”

    Me: “Look, I’ll cover the rest but next time just make sure you know how much is on your card or ask us to check before hand.”

    (I go through my pocket and pull out a dollar to cover the change after not being able to find enough change to cover the rest. I finish cashing it out and notice the kid’s still there, hand held out and ready to receive change back.)

    One Mother, One Cup

    | Springfield, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Money

    Customer: “Hi I need to return this.” *hands over an opened and clearly worn jock cup*

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, this is a completely non-returnable item.”

    Customer: “I called and you said your return policy is 30 days with receipt.”

    Me: “That’s except for jocks and mouth-guards. Cashiers tell you at the time of purchase that they’re completely non-returnable.”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t understand. So, there’s nothing you can do for me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. It’s store policy based on our health-code.”

    Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that my little boy would have such a big wee-wee?” *grabs her very embarrassed-looking son and leaves*

    Pride Goeth Before A Deal

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Canada, Money, Top

    (I work at a call center in Canada dealing with American cell customers. This is a call from a customer in Seattle.)

    Me: “Hello, thanks for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Does your company outsource to India?”

    Me: “I don’t know for sure, but I know it does hire companies out of the USA.”

    Caller: “I’d like to cancel my service, then.”

    Me: “I can do that for you. May I ask why you’d like to cancel?”

    Caller: “I don’t support companies that don’t support America. If they’re hiring out of America, then I don’t want to support them.”

    Me: “All right, I’ll process that cancellation for you.”

    Caller: “Am I calling to India?!”

    Me: “No. I’m actually in Canada.”

    Caller: “Oh, I love Canada! I do all my shopping there. Everything is so much cheaper!”

    Now We Know Why Bob Retired

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    Me: “Your total comes to $15.49.”

    Customer: “Don’t I get a discount?”

    Me: “Are you in the military or a member of our frequent shopper club?”

    Customer: “I’m in the club. I shop here all the time.”

    Me: “Great! I should be able to find you in our database and apply your discount. What is your last name?”

    Customer: “Well I’m not in your computer but I know I get a discount. I shop here all the time and I’m a senior citizen.”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t have a senior discount, but I’d be happy to help you join our frequent shopper club.”

    Customer: “You don’t have a senior discount?!” *she turns to an older couple in line behind her* “Did you hear that? These
    people don’t respect the seniors in this community! This is outrageous! I shop here all the time. I’m a senior. I should get a discount. Let me talk to Bob!”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, Bob retired 4 years ago.”

    Customer: “Okay, well then I need to speak with Claudia. She and I are very close.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with a Claudia.”

    Customer: “Well, you need to ask someone who’s not new.”

    Me: “Well, I’ve been here three years, but let me check.”

    (I call my manager, who’s been here forever.)

    Me: "I’m sorry ma’am, but I just spoke with my manager, and she said that Claudia passed away in 2005."

    Customer: “She’s dead?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Well, do I get a discount? I shop here all the time!”

    H2Slow, Part 3

    | Minnesota, USA | Money, Tourists/Travel

    Caller: "I was just wondering if my credit card will work the same in Hawaii as it does here?"

    Me: "Well, ma’am, Hawaii is part of the US, so it should."

    Caller: "I know. I was just making sure since we’d be flying over a body of water."

    Related:
    H2Slow, Part 2
    H2Slow

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