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    Category: Money

    No Chance Of Defying Gravity

    | Texas, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

    Customer: “I bought tickets for Wicked on Broadway and I want a refund.”

    Me: “Okay, was your show postponed or canceled? That’s the only time we can give refunds.”

    Customer: “Well, I wasn’t able to watch the show so I want my money back.”

    Me: “Why were you unable to watch the show?”

    Customer: “When we got to our seats my husband felt sick from being so high up and we had to leave.”

    Me: “When you purchased the tickets were you aware that they were in the balcony?”

    Customer: “The woman told me they were in the balcony but I didn’t know what that meant. I know what a balcony on a house is, but a theater isn’t a house. I’m not stupid.”

    Me: “If you weren’t sure about the seat placement, why didn’t you ask for clarification?”

    Customer: “I didn’t want to sound stupid. I’m not stupid!”

    Unleashes A Whole Raft Of Problems

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Money

    (I am a supervisor called to returns for an override.)

    Me: “Hello! I understand we’re returning an inflatable raft?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s right. I don’t like this one.”

    Me: “Okay, sorry to hear that. Give me just a sec to reverse the transaction. There you go! Anything else?”

    Customer: “No, that’s all, I’m going to shop & look for another raft.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but it’s a seasonal item, we no longer carry them.”

    Customer: “Oh, alright.”

    *comes back about 20 minutes later*

    Customer: “Excuse me, since you don’t have any more rafts & I need one, can I buy the one I just returned?”

    Me: “Uh, sure!”

    Customer: “Well, since it’s used and it’s the last one, can I get a discount?”

    A Not So Pregnant Pause For Thought

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids, Money

    Customer: “Can I have an adult and two students for [film]?”

    (The film is rated ‘15’, and the two children with her look like they might not be old enough.)

    Me: “Can I just ask your dates of birth?”

    First Child: “September 1995.”

    Second child: “Umm…”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t sell you the tickets as your son can’t give me a date of birth to confirm he is 15.”

    Customer: “Oh, for God’s sake! He was born in August 1995. They’re my children. I think I know how old they are! Now will you sell us the tickets!”

    Me: “Wait, they’re both your children?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “Yes!”

    Me: “And they were only born a month apart?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “You have to be pregnant for nine months.”

    Customer: “Yes! So?”

    Customer: *realises*

    (The customer swears and walks off.)

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Money

    Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I deposited a cheque in your ATM and wanted cash back, but it won’t let me. I need that money!”

    Me: “Alright, let me just pull up your file.”

    (I find her in the system and see the deposit’s held as she’s overdue on her credit card payments by several months, which caused her accounts to freeze.)

    Me: “Your deposit was definitely completed and is in your account, but unfortunately I cannot give you any cash as your accounts are frozen.”

    Customer:”What! No! They can’t do that! That’s my money!”

    Me: “Well yes, they can, because you haven’t made a single credit card payment in months.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “So, you need to pay it back.”

    Customer: “I have to pay? Why?”

    Me: *blinks* “You didn’t know you had to pay it back?”

    Customer: “No one told me!”

    Me: “Miss, it’s a credit product, meaning you’re borrowing money from us. We don’t give money away. After you borrow the money, you’re expected to pay it back. All of it’s explained in your Card Agreement.”

    Customer: *stares blankly at me*

    Me: “The agreement you would’ve received in the mail along with your card.”

    Customer: “That sheet full of ‘garbledygook’ that no one ever reads?”

    Me: “Just because you didn’t read it doesn’t mean you’re exempt. By using the card, that means you agree to the terms associated with the card.”

    Customer: “But I need my money! They can’t do that, it’s my money! I got no job, I have no money!”

    Me: “Don’t worry, I’ll call them and speak with someone for you. We’ll figure out a solution together based on your current situation, okay?”

    (I call them and discuss with the rep, then they ask to speak to the customer. I hand the phone over, and within seconds she starts yelling.)

    Customer: "GIVE ME MY MONEY! You can’t do this! No one told me I have to pay!"

    (She slams down the phone, storms off while shouting "They won’t give me my money!" to random people on the way out.)

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

    About To Get A Fist For A Dollar

    | Fort Knox, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Top

    Me: “Your total comes to $2.15.”

    Child Customer: “Okay.”

    (He slides his card, touches the key pad and reaches for his things.)

    Me: “Hun, you paid through gift card and there wasn’t enough to cover it all. You’re short 46 cents.”

    Child Customer: “Oh, um…can you just remove something?”

    Me: “I can’t cancel a transaction in the middle of it.”

    Child Customer: “Well, I don’t want the drink no more.”

    Me: “Look, I’ll cover the rest but next time just make sure you know how much is on your card or ask us to check before hand.”

    (I go through my pocket and pull out a dollar to cover the change after not being able to find enough change to cover the rest. I finish cashing it out and notice the kid’s still there, hand held out and ready to receive change back.)

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