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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Money

    A Small Sample Of Big Stupid

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (In the local mall there is a kiosk that only opens during the holidays which sells products such as smoked meats, cheeses, and the like. I always stop by there to get a few things when they open and am a customer while this is happening.)

    Customer: “Could I get another one of these? This one is open.”

    (She hands the employee a bottle of honey mustard that is marked ‘sample.’)

    Employee #1: “Oh! I’m sorry, ma’am, that’s the sample bottle. The unopened ones are right down there on the other side of the counter.”

    Customer: “Oh, thanks!”

    (She grabs an unopened bottle and starts to walk off with it.)

    Employee #1: “Ma’am, you have to pay for that.”

    Customer: “But it’s a sample.”

    Employee #1: “No, it’s not. You have to pay for it.”

    Customer: “But that one’s marked sample.” *she points to the sample bottle* “Samples are free.”

    Employee #1: “Yes, that one is. That’s the bottle we use to get samples out of. We have it marked so we don’t accidentally try to sell it to a customer.”

    Customer: “But she’s getting one!”

    (She points to me and the bottle of honey mustard that I have in my hand.)

    Employee #1: “She is, ma’am, and she’s paying for it.”

    Customer: “Paying?”

    Employee #1: “Yes. With money.”

    Customer: “So I have to pay with money to get this? It isn’t free?”

    Employee #1: “No. It isn’t free.”

    Customer: “Oh… Well, I don’t want it then, but thank you.”

    (She sets the bottle of mustard down on the counter and walks away without further issue.)

    Me: “What just happened here?”

    Employee #2: “Oh, did the crazy sample lady come back? I’ve worked this kiosk for three years now and she does this every year. You’d think she’d have figured out that that’s not how samples work by now.”

    Talking Turkey About Cold Cuts

    | Charleston, SC, USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (It is just after one of the months where all of our sandwiches were $5. The promotion is over, so now only a few regular sandwiches are $5. I ring up a woman’s foot-long turkey sub and the total came out to about $6.)

    Female Customer: “No, it’s supposed to be $5.”

    Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry. That promotion is over. The prices are back to normal.”

    Female Customer: “But that sign says cold cuts are $5.”

    Me: “No, it says the cold cut combo is $5.”

    Female Customer: “Turkey is a cold cut.”

    Me: “Okay, but it’s not a cold cut combo. That’s a completely different sandwich.”

    Female Customer: “Turkey is a cold cut!”

    Me: “…”

    Female Customer: “You’re just trying to trick all of us! Turkey is a cold cut!”

    (She then proceeded to storm off without her sandwich and yelled at me she hoped I was happy I had lost her business. Yeah, the person making $7.25 really cares about the store losing a customer.)

    Has An Expensive Chip On His Shoulder

    | Charleston, SC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

    Customer: “How much are the bags of chips?”

    Me: “Just a little over two dollars with tax.”

    Customer: “What? That’s unreasonable! Why would you charge me that much?”

    Customer’s Wife: “Shut up. What makes you think that poor girl set the prices on the chips?”

    No Money, More Problems

    | Washington, DC, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work at a law office that represents banks in their dealings with the SEC, Federal Reserve, FDIC, etc.)

    Caller: “I need bankruptcy help!”

    Me: “We represent banks in their dealings with federal and state regulators.”

    Caller: “I need to file bankruptcy!”

    Me: “We don’t do that here.”

    Caller: “Well, who does?”

    Me: “I don’t know, sir.”

    Caller: “Let me talk to the lawyer. He knows.”

    Me: “We don’t do that sort of work, sir. We can’t help you.”

    Caller: “I’ll tell everyone about you! I’ll tell your boss you’re not helping me! You’re supposed to help me! It’s in the Hippocratic Oath!”

    Me: “Have a nice day, sir.” *hang up*

    A Small Charge To Cure The Hiccups

    | Germany | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (I am a teller at a bank, and I have a nasty hiccup I cannot get rid of. A customer approaches me, having questions about his savings account. He also has a 50 Euro bill in his hand. I answer his questions, while trying to suppress my hiccup. When I hand him his documents he had given me before, he takes them, turns away, then turns back to me.)

    Customer: “Where are my €50 notes?”

    Me: “You did not hand it to me.”

    Customer: “I did give it to you; it was in my savings book.”

    (I panic, because our branch is pretty busy, and sometimes I forget things. I look around for the €50, even underneath the service station, but nothing. We argue about the money for a bit, and then he smiles.)

    Customer: “Sorry, I have the money. I just needed to scare you a bit to help you get rid of that hiccup.”

    (I was staring at him while he proceeded to the cashier to put the money onto his savings account. I was shocked, but he was right: my hiccups were gone!)

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