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    Category: Money

    Cutting Down Credit Fraud

    | Managua, Nicaragua | Liars & Scammers, Money

    Me: “Thank you for calling [bank], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hey man! I got some fraudulent charges on my credit card.”

    Me: “Ok sir, I understand let me help you report this.”

    Caller: “Don’t worry son, I already took care of it.”

    Me: “So you already called to report it?”

    Caller: “No son, I cut my credit card in thousands of pieces. Now I need a new one.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “Hello, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get a piece of candy?”

    Me:  “Sure, that’s one dollar.”

    Customer:  “Oh. I only have a five.” *starts walking away*

    Me: “Excuse me, Ma’am? I said it’s only a dollar.”

    Customer: “I know. Why would I waste four dollars?”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

    Just Wait Until She Finds The Penny Slots

    | Wellington, New Zealand | Money

    Customer: “I’ll take a $2 scratch-and-win, please.”

    Me: “Awesome. Here you go.”

    Customer: “I was wondering how much you have to pay for one with prizes?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “If I got a $3 one, would it have a chance to win prizes?”

    Me: “That one you have has a chance to win prizes, ma’am. They all do.”

    Customer: *surprised* “Really?”

    Me: “Of course.”

    Customer: *excited* “You learn something new every day!”

    Best Quote An Alternator Price

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Auto Parts], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I need an alternator for my vehicle.”

    (I look up his car and the alternator.)

    Me: “Okay, the one we have in stock is $79.99.”

    Caller: “$49.99?”

    Me: “No, sir, $79.99.”

    Caller: “$49.99?”

    Me: “$79.99.”

    Caller: “Hey, you said $79.99!”

    Me: “Indeed I did, sir!”

    Unfeasible Fees

    | Montreal, Canada | Crazy Requests, Money

    Customer: “I don’t like these hidden fees! You guys never told me I would have a fee for this!”

    Me: “Sorry sir, however we did send you documentation when you opened your account, and the fees were clearly explained.”

    Customer: “No one reads those! I shred the mail as soon as I receive it!”

    Me: “It’s also on our website if you’d like to have a look.”

    Customer: “I don’t have the computer. You can’t expect people to go online to search for your hidden fees. I bet if I go on the site, it won’t even be there!”

    Me: “If you’d like I can tell you all our fees over the phone right now, I’d be more than happy to.”

    Customer: “I don’t have time for that! Do I look like someone who has time for that?”

    Me: “Would you like me to remail you the agreement of the account? You’d receive it 5 business days.”

    Customer: “You’re not even listening, you’re an idiot! I told you, I shred my mail when I get it!”


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