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    Category: Money

    Routine Trumps Common Cents

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (A regular buys the same bottle of liquor every couple of days and brings in just enough money to pay for the bottle. This week, we happen to get in “special edition” bottles and put them in place of the normal ones.)

    Me: “That will be [price].”

    (The customer hands me money and I give him a $5 in change.)

    Customer: “Is this on sale or something? You gave me too much change!”

    Me: “That’s a special edition bottle we got in. It’s actually cheaper than the normal one!”

    Customer: “Well, it’s been [price] for six years! Why is it cheaper?!”

    Me: “Well, at least it’s not more expensive?”

    Customer: *muttering* “It’s been [price] for six years…”

    Me: *speechless*

    Financially Bankrupt, Circumstantially Bereft, And Substantially Boneheaded

    | South Carolina, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, School

    (I work for the financial aid department at a local tech school. A student comes in and asks about his student loans.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Student: *dismayed response* “Yeah, I want to check my student loans request.”

    Me: “Sure thing. Can I get a student ID number?”

    Student: “I ain’t got one.”

    Me: “Can I have your last and first name?”

    Student: “Yeah.”

    (There’s an awkward silence as he doesn’t say anything.)

    Me: “Sir, may I get your last and first name?”

    Student: *gives name*

    (I search for the student, but can’t find him.)

    Me: “Sir, are you a student here?”

    Student: “I ain’t got time for this! I want my money!”

    Me: “Sir, you have to be a student to get student loans.”

    Student: *shocked* “Oh, s***, really?”

    Be Thankful You Have A Job At All

    | USA | Money

    (I work for a utilities company in collections, meaning I get people who are being shut off, or have been shut off. Our policy is to send several notices, and then shut off an account if no satisfactory arrangements are made. Where we give them a date, we can shut off the account with no one there, provided the meter is outside.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [utility company]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m holding a shut off notice here dated for November 10th. When will my services be shut off for non-payment?”

    Me: “As of November 10th, it is subject to termination.”

    Customer: “Oh. Do I have to be there? I’m going on vacation.”

    Me: “No, you don’t need to be there.”

    Customer: “Oh. Can I get a hold on the account? I don’t have any money.”

    Me: “Well, is there a medical condition pertaining to the services?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “How about an infant or an elderly person?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Okay, how about a financial hardship?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Okay, are you unemployed, or was there a loss of income?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, nothing like that! I spent all my money on my vacation!”

    The Bank Appreciates Your Donation, Part 2

    | Shoreview, MN, USA | Money

    (I work in the personnel assistance phone queue. Basically, it means I take escalated calls from angry customers.)

    Customer: “My deposit is missing.”

    Me: “Okay, was it a branch deposit or an ATM deposit?”

    Customer: “I went through the drive-through at your bank branch and made my deposit. It’s not in my flipping account yet and I need it now!”

    Me: “Okay, I’d be happy to take a look at it. What’s your account number?”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t have an account with your bank…”

    Related:
    The Bank Appreciates Your Donation

    All Or Nothing Or Nothing At All

    | United Kingdom | Money

    (I work in a pound shop, which is the UK equivalent of a 99 cent store in the US. Everything in the store costs one pound.)

    Customer: “How much it this?”

    Me: “It’s a pound. Everything costs one pound.”

    (The customer walks away and returns two minutes later with a different item.)

    Customer: “How much is this?”

    Me: “That’s a pound, too.”

    Customer: “Sorry to keep asking, but you don’t seem to have any prices on anything.”

    Me: “Everything in this store costs one pound.”

    (The customer walks away and returns a few minutes later with yet another different item.)

    Customer: “What about this?”

    Me: “That’s a pound. They’re all a pound.”

    Customer: “Why isn’t anything labeled in this store? You’re all so lazy!”

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