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  • Category: Money

    Zombies Need Debt Too

    | Illinois, USA | Money

    (I work in customer service for a chain store credit card. I get a call from a manager, calling on behalf of a customer.)

    Manager: “Hi, one of our customers just applied for a store card and she’d like to use it today. Can you look that up for me?”

    (After pulling up the application, I see that the name on the application doesn’t match the customer’s name. However, for security reasons, I’m not allowed to come right out and say that.)

    Me: “I’m afraid that application was declined due to some of the information not matching. Usually this means a typo somewhere. Could you have your customer try again, please?”

    Manager: “Okay, she just tried it again. Did it go through this time?”

    Me: “No, it’s still saying that the information isn’t matching. Um, you keep saying ‘she’, but on the application, it says ‘Mr.’. Is she applying jointly with someone?”

    Manager: “I’ll ask.” *pause* “Okay, she says everything she does is in her late husband’s name, so that’s the social security number she’s using.”

    Me: “Thank you. I’m not sure how her temperament is, so we’re going to have to be delicate about this. Could you very tactfully let her know that [store name] does not issue credit to dead people?”

    Manager: *laughs* “Will do. Thank you!”

    Patience Is Priceless

    | USA | Family & Kids, Money, Top

    (Today I am the only teller working at the bank, as the rest of my coworkers have called in sick. A little boy whose head barely peeks over the counter waves his hand with a bag of coins in it.)

    Boy: “I want to put this on my savings account! I worked hard! I’m saving money for my girlfriend’s birthday!”

    (As it happens the cash counting machine is broken, so I have to count them by hand.)

    Me: “All right, let’s see how much you got there!” *starts adding up the pennies*

    (The customer behind the boy, an elderly woman, is growing very impatient.)

    Woman: “Oh, come on! I’ve got more to do!”

    Me: “Just a moment, ma’am.” *continues counting*

    Woman: *angry* “Hurry up! My time is valuable!”

    Me: *finally finished counting* “That’s $31.75! You can buy her a handsome gift!”

    Boy: *smiles* “Yeah, she’ll be happy! Bye!” *rushes outside*

    Me: “Bye!” *to the woman* “How can I help you?”

    Woman: *confused* “Oh…I forgot…”

    Me: “Please step aside, then, so I can help the next customer…”

    Woman: *face turns red, mumbles, leaves the bank*

    Show Me The Color Of Your Money

    | Ontario, Canada | Money

    (I work in a shoe store. Sometimes we have the same style shoe in different colors and the colors vary in prices. A customer is having a problem with the listed price.)

    Customer: “Why are the green and black shoes different in price? You should give me the price of the green one for the black one.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the prices listed on the shoe are the final price. Different colors can be different prices, because they are a different shoe.”

    Customer: “You can’t have a different price for a different colored shoe! That’s racist!”

    It Pays To Be Correct

    | South Carolina, USA | Money

    (I work at a popular tax office. One day, a woman in her 30s, whose taxes I had done the year before, comes in to file. Once we finish entering her information, I tell her how much she would be getting in her refund, which is substantial.)

    Me: “So, your state return is $1,570, and your federal is $4,900, for a total of $6,470.”

    Customer: “That can’t be right.”

    Me: “Do you have another W-2 or 1099 that you need to add?”

    Customer: “No, I mean that’s too much money.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “I only got $300 last year, so I think you did my taxes wrong.”

    Me: “Mrs. [name], I assure you I did them right. You also did get a better job last year, got married, and had a child. All of those things qualified you for credits and a higher refund.”

    Customer: “No, No, NO! You did it WRONG and I am not going to JAIL because you are INCOMPETENT!” *grabs her purse and walks out, leaving all her tax documents behind*

    (My manager later told me that the customer had come back for her tax documents. She said she had done her taxes online herself, and was getting less than $1000.)

    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 6

    | Pennsylvania, PA, USA | Math & Science, Money

    (A woman comes up and gives me $2 for her daughter to print. With our computers, you need to have money in your account in order to print. The daughter prints something, then tries to print again. The mother comes up twice, complaining that nothing is coming out and that something is wrong.)

    Me: “How much is it saying it will cost?”

    Patron: “We have enough.”

    Me: “Okay, then it should print.”

    Patron: “It’s saying it’s printing, but nothing is coming out.”

    (I go over and try to print it. They don’t have enough.)

    Me: “You need to put more money on the card.”

    Patron: “Why?!”

    Me: “The prints costs more than you have on there.”

    Patron: “But she only printed once.”

    Me: “This new print costs $1.50. She already spent at least $0.70, from what I can see. You only gave me $2.”

    Patron: “So?”

    Me: “So $2 minus $0.70 is less than $1.50.”

    Patron: “I don’t get it.”

    Me: “You need to give me more money for the prints.”

    Patron: “But why?!”

    Related:
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 5
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 4
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 3
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

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