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    Category: Money

    Picky Penny Pinching Plant Pilfering Patrons Provide Poor Perks

    | Ohio, USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (A couple walks in, takes a look at the buffet, and then signals me over.)

    Me: “What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “So, we’re vegetarian. What can we eat?”

    (I point out which dishes are vegetarian and explain a little bit about the food.)

    Customer: “Okay, thanks, but we aren’t going to be eating any meat. Can you please take the chicken dishes away? We don’t want them.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a buffet open to everyone. Other customers will eat the chicken dishes.”

    Customer: “Well, can you just move them aside for me then? I don’t want to look at them. We won’t be needing them.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t change the order of the buffet. If you look, you’ll notice that the chicken and vegetarian are completely separate from each other. It would be hard to get them confused.”

    Customer: “Okay, fine! Also, we don’t eat that much, so you should only charge us for one buffet.”

    (They both proceed to get at least 5 plates each. Normally I would have charged them for two people, but my workplace is pretty lenient. I don’t want to cause any more trouble, so I only charge them for one buffet when the wife comes up to pay.)

    Me: “That will be $8.50, please.”

    Customer: “What?! But I told you to only charge us for one buffet! We didn’t eat that much!”

    Me: “We charge $7.99 per person plus tax. I only charged you for one.”

    Customer: *happily* “Oh, okay!”

    (She hands me 25 cents.)

    Customer: “Here you go, dear! I know how you servers don’t like being tipped on a credit card! This way, you won’t get taxed! Thanks so much!”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 9

    | London, ON, Canada | Money

    (I’m setting a customer up for a pre-authorized payment so her checking account pays her credit card automatically on the due date. I’m going over all the details.)

    Me: “If there aren’t sufficient funds in the bank account at the time of payment, an NSF fee will be charged.”

    Customer: “What?! You mean I have to have money in my bank account?”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 8
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

    Massive Fan But Sadly Not A Breeze

    | London, UK | Money

    (Customer calls to order some Justin Bieber-printed merchandise. We get to the checkout phase.)

    Me: “Right, that’s [price].”

    Caller: “I’m a massive fan. Can I get a fan discount?”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Caller: “I’m a member of the fan club. I should get discount for that or something!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, madam, but we aren’t able to give that kind of discount.”

    Caller: “This is appalling. You should give his fans money off! We deserve it! His fans shouldn’t have to pay as much for his products!”

    Me: “Madam, I doubt anyone who wasn’t a fan would be buying these anyway. So, technically, you are getting the fan price.”

    *silence*

    Caller: “Screw this. I’ll do it online!”

    Customers Are Going Gaga

    , | San Juan, Puerto Rico | At The Checkout, Money, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I’m working the cash register. A male customer of about 40 comes by and places their order. He proceeds to give me his credit card.)

    Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

    (He stares at me for a moment then breaks out into song as he hands me the ID.)

    Customer: “Can’t read my, can’t read my, no you can’t read my pooooookeer faaaaaaace!”

    No ID, No Idea, Part 3

    | Akron, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (A customer is trying to pay with an unsigned card.)

    Me: “Ma’am, since your credit card is not signed I will need to see your ID.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t have it. I left it with someone at [department store] because they’re signing me up for one of their credit cards. Can’t you just put it through?”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, no. Do you have another form of payment?”

    Customer: “Oh for God’s sake! This is ridiculous! I’ll be right back!” *storms off*

    (Because she has already put a gift card toward the purchase, I have to wait several minutes for my busy manager to come cancel the transaction before I can ring any other customers. The customer’s signature is still on the pad when she returns.)

    Customer: “Fine! Here’s my ID! And you left my signature up on the screen for anyone to see!”

    Me: “I assure you, no one else approached the register while you were gone.”

    Customer: “Someone could have stolen my identity!”

    Me: “But you left your ID and social security number with a stranger in another store?”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 2
    No ID, No Idea


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