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    Category: Money

    Too Taxing On That Brain

    | Houston, TX, USA | Money

    (If the customer has 1) a very small tax refund in comparison to the preparation fees and 2) a simple tax situation, we will prepare and file their tax return for free. We also run a promotion where we’ll give customers $50 cash if they have to pay for tax return preparation. This is a conversation between my manager and a very loud customer.)

    Manager: “Since your refund is $137, I will file your return for free.”

    Customer: “Thank you! What about my $50?”

    Manager: “I cannot give you $50 because I am not charging you anything.”

    Customer: “I NEED THAT $50!”

    Manager: *remaining calm* “If I gave you $50, it would be like me paying you so that I can prepare your return, right? To give you the $50, I would have to be charging you something first, right? I am doing this return for you free.”

    Customer: “Okay, do that! Charge me!”

    Manager: “So you are saying that you would like me to charge you $100 for preparation so that I can then give you $50?”

    Customer: “YES!”

    Low On Sense

    | Gulfport, MS, USA | Money

    (I am a cashier. When customers are polite, I have no problem letting them slide on few cents when they are short on change.)

    Me: “That’ll be $20.96.”

    Customer: “I got $20!”

    (He roughly slaps a $20 bill on the counter.)

    Me: “Um, it’s $20.96.”

    Customer: “I got a hundred.”

    Me: “Okay, I can break it.”

    Customer: “Well, it’s at my house. What am I supposed to do, go get it?! Just cover it, s***! It’s a couple cents!”

    (I make minimum wage and can barely make ends meet. I also don’t open my wallet for rude strangers.)

    Me: “It’s $0.96, so I’m not going to just give you a dollar. Do you want to put something back?”

    (I start taking items out of his bag to show him what he can put back.)

    Customer: “I need all that stuff!”

    Me: “You need two packs of cigarettes?”

    Customer: “Put the soup back, s***!”

    (I void his soup, ring up the rest of his items, and give him his change.)

    Customer: *as he’s leaving, sarcastically* “Thanks for your hospitality!”

    Me: “You’re welcome! Have a nice day!”

    (After he leaves, my coworker comes over.)

    Coworker: *laughing* “What were you supposed to do, pay him for being an a**hole?”

    Cash Back (And Forth)

    | Gulfport, MS, USA | Money, Top

    (I am a cashier at a drugstore. A man is buying about $60 worth of merchandise.)

    Customer: “Can I pay $40 in cash and put the rest on my debit card?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I take his money and give him his new total. He swipes his card and the machine asks him if he wants cash back.)

    Customer: “Oh, yes, I DO want cash back!”

    (He gets $20 in cash back. I look at the $40 in my hand and slowly hand one of his 20′s back to him.)

    Customer: *has a moment of clarity* “Hm, that didn’t make much sense, did it?”

    Me: “No, sir, not really.”

    (He leaves with his head down in shame, clutching a $20 bill.)

    When Intelligences Cancel Out

    | New Zealand | At The Checkout, Money, Top

    (I am a checkout operator in a supermarket, and I have just finished ringing up a customer’s order. )

    Me: “So, that comes to a total of $36.76.  Is there anything else?”

    Customer: “I also want a $50 gift card.”

    (I add on the gift card and hand it to her.)

    Me: “Okay, now the total is $86.76. Will that be all today?”

    Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

    Me: “How would you like to pay for your order?”

    Customer: “I’d like to use this gift card.” *hands me the same $50 gift card that I just activated for her*

    Me: “Uh, you still need to pay for this gift card.”

    Customer: “Yes, but I’d like to pay for it with the gift card.”

    Me: “But the gift card is worth $50.  Your order is $86.76.”

    Customer: *rolls eyes* “Uh-huh, so just pay $50 of it with the gift card, and I’ll give you cash for the rest!”

    Me: “So that will take your total back to the original $36.76.”

    Customer: *looks at me like I’m stupid* “Duh!”

    Zombies Need Debt Too

    | Illinois, USA | Money

    (I work in customer service for a chain store credit card. I get a call from a manager, calling on behalf of a customer.)

    Manager: “Hi, one of our customers just applied for a store card and she’d like to use it today. Can you look that up for me?”

    (After pulling up the application, I see that the name on the application doesn’t match the customer’s name. However, for security reasons, I’m not allowed to come right out and say that.)

    Me: “I’m afraid that application was declined due to some of the information not matching. Usually this means a typo somewhere. Could you have your customer try again, please?”

    Manager: “Okay, she just tried it again. Did it go through this time?”

    Me: “No, it’s still saying that the information isn’t matching. Um, you keep saying ‘she’, but on the application, it says ‘Mr.’. Is she applying jointly with someone?”

    Manager: “I’ll ask.” *pause* “Okay, she says everything she does is in her late husband’s name, so that’s the social security number she’s using.”

    Me: “Thank you. I’m not sure how her temperament is, so we’re going to have to be delicate about this. Could you very tactfully let her know that [store name] does not issue credit to dead people?”

    Manager: *laughs* “Will do. Thank you!”

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