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    Category: Money

    A Centless Journey

    | Fort Wayne, IN, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (A customer places a book at my register to check out.)

    Me: “Did you find everything alright today?”

    Customer: “I did! I’ve been waiting to get this book for a long time. Wait a moment… Oh, no. I think I left my coupon at home.”

    Me: “What a shame! How much was your coupon for?”

    Customer: “It was a special coupon for 25 percent off any item.”

    Me: “Well, you’re in luck! I happen to have an extra coupon under my register. It’s for 20 percent off any item.”

    Customer: “But mine was for 25 percent. Your coupon won’t save me as much money.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, take a look at the price tag on the book. It’s only $10. With your coupon, the price would drop to $7.50, and with mine the price would be $8.00. It’s only a fifty-cent difference.”

    Customer: “But my coupon would save me more money! Can you hold the book for me? I’m going to go home and get my coupon.”

    Me: “Where do you live?”

    (The woman gives me an address on the other side of town, probably a 40-minute round trip at least.)

    Me: “Are you sure you want to drive all the way home? The time and gas alone are probably worth more than the 50 cents you’d save with your coupon. Why don’t you just use this 20 percent off right now?”

    Customer: “No. My coupon would save me more money than your coupon would.”

    (She leaves. An hour later, she’s back with her coupon.)

    Customer: *smiling* “Look how much money I just saved!”

    It’s All Dutch To Me, Part 2

    , | Amsterdam, The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money, Tourists/Travel

    (I am traveling with a group from my American university for a conference, back when the Netherlands still used guilders as currency. At the time they were at about two to one dollar.)

    Classmate: “Wow! Beer is so expensive here!”

    Me: “Not really… they’re only three or four dollars each.”

    Classmate: “But it says beer is $6!”

    Me: “No, it’s 6 guilders. That’s the currency here. Remember when we changed our money?”

    Classmate: “No. That must be in dollars.”

    Me: “Why would it be in dollars? We’re in Amsterdam!”

    Classmate: “But stuff was in dollars at the airport. And I don’t get why [American beer] is so expensive and the [Dutch beer] costs less.

    Me: “Because they have to import the [American beer] from America.”

    Classmate: “But it isn’t an import!”

    Me: “We’re in AMSTERDAM now!”

    (By now, the guy behind the bar is doing an increasingly bad job of hiding his laughter.)

    Classmate: “Oh, my god. How will I order? I don’t speak… uh…”

    Me: “—Dutch? I’ll do it. You go sit down.”

    Me: *in English, to the bartender* “Two beers, please.”

    (The bartender gets me the beers, but only charges me for one of them, and winks at me. I tip him well and go back to my classmate.)

    Classmate: “Wow! I didn’t know you spoke the language!”

    Me: “I’m a fast learner.”

    Related:
    It’s All Dutch To Me

    Not A Bad Penny Among Them

    | Flagstaff, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m working as a cashier. I have a line of three people.)

    Me: “Hi. How are you doing tonight?”

    Customer #1: “Not bad, and you?”

    Me: “Well, to be honest, it’s my first night, and it definitely could be going better! I just had a customer pay for her entire $25 order in dimes and nickels!”

    (Customer #1 and Customer #3 wince and make sympathetic noises as I finish ringing out Customer #1. Meanwhile, Customer #2 goes absolutely white as a sheet.)

    Customer #2: “I’m really, REALLY sorry. You are going to hate me.”

    (Customer #2 places a $40 bottle of whiskey on the counter, and begins emptying his pockets…of pennies.)

    Me: *whimpers*

    (Thankfully, Customer #2 and Customer #3 helped me count!)

    Tipping The Scale

    | AB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (I am in a horrible mood because I have discovered during the previous night’s shift that someone had stolen my wallet from my purse in our back hallway while I was working. Along with all my ID and bank cards, I lost $140 in tips from the night before. I needed that money to pay bills. However, I try to put my best foot forward during the shift. I serve a young customer and his girlfriend. They are friendly, funny, complimentary about my service, and just make me smile.)

    Me: *as I walk up with their check* “You know, I’m having a really bad weekend, so for putting a smile on my face today, I only charged you for the teen brunch instead of the full priced brunch.”

    Customer #1: “Oh! Well, thank you! Why are you having a bad weekend?”

    Me: “Well… my wallet was stolen while I was working last night.”

    Customer #1: “I’m really sorry to hear that! Can I pay with credit card?”

    (I put his bill price into the portable machine and hand it to him, and he begins to enter in the tip.)

    Customer #2: *eyes widen, whispers* “Really?!”

    Customer #1: *whispers* “She’s having a bad day.”

    Customer #2: “Yeah. Fair enough.”

    (They hand the machine back to me, and I print off the receipt. They tipped me $100 on a $48 tab.)

    Me: “Are you sure?!”

    Customer #1: “I hope you have a better day.”

    (I began to cry, and each of them hugged me before they left. I smiled for the rest of the day. Faith in humanity: restored.)

    Finally Sees Cents

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Math & Science, Money, Themed Giveaway

    (The price of the fuel has gone up, from $0.537 cents per litre, to $0.539 cents per litre. We always change the outside signs BEFORE we change the price on the pump. A customer pulls up just as the price is changing. She fills her car with fuel and pays. She turns to leave, then looks at her receipt. She returns to the counter.)

    Customer: “Um, excuse me, but you have ripped me off. You have charged me the wrong price.”

    Me: I’m sorry? Let me take a look at the receipt.

    (I look at the receipt, and it clearly shows the price as being $0.539 cents per litre. She had purchased 25 litres.)

    Customer: “See, it’s the wrong price. You are rip-off merchants. You have stolen my money!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the price is correct, I’m unsure as to what you are referring.”

    Customer: “When I drove in, the pump said 53.7 and then you charge me 53.9 cents a litre! That’s extortion!”

    Me: “Well, actually the signs outside clearly indicate the price, and the pumps had just changed as you pulled up.”

    Customer: “So you admit it! You have ripped me off! I want to see the manager!”

    Me: “I am the manager, ma’am. For the inconvenience, I shall refund you the difference.”

    (I hand her the five cents.)

    Customer: “Seriously? I’m not stupid you know! It’s a lot more than just five cents!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, you purchased 25 litres yes?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “The price went from 53.7 CENTS a litre to 53.9 CENTS a litre?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “So 25 multiplied by .2 of a cent equates to 5 cents.”

    (Red faced and obviously extremely mortified, the customer raced out of the store without so much as a ‘sorry!’)


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