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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Money

    Gives New Meaning To The Pink Dollar

    | ACT, Australia | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Money

    (At the store I work at, we sell gift cards for a certain popular online music store, with pre-set values of $20, $30, and $50. To help tell the difference between the cards, they are colour-coded, with $20 being pink, $30 being blue, and $50 being green. One day, an old lady comes up to my register with a $20 card.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but do you have these $20 cards in blue?”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, the $20 [Music Store] gift cards only come in pink.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? I really would like a blue $20 [Music Store] card.”

    Me: “All the $20 cards are pink, I’m afraid. Why were you after a blue card in particular?”

    Customer: “Well, I want to buy this card for my grandson’s birthday, but I can’t get him a PINK card. That’s a girl’s colour! He’s a boy; he needs a BLUE card!”

    (The customer is a bit grumpy at this point, and I am a bit put off by her gender stereotyping, but I try to remain polite and helpful.)

    Me: “Oh. Well, as I said, we unfortunately do not have blue $20 [Music Store] cards.”

    Customer: *disappointed* “I see.” *pause* “Are you sure you don’t have any blue ones out the back?”

    Me: “Positive, ma’am. The $30 [Music Store] cards are blue. You could spend and extra $10 and get one of those.”

    Customer: *outraged* “$30?! I love my grandson, but not that much!”

    Should Have Made An Earlier Check

    | WA, USA | Money

    (It is April 15th and I work in a tax office. The office is actually fairly quiet, as most of our clients have already completed their taxes or filed extensions, so I have more time to answer calls. The phone rings, and I answer.)

    Me: “Hello, how can I help?”

    Caller: “I think I’m in trouble. I already filed my taxes a month ago, and wrote a check, but it hasn’t cleared yet.”

    Me: “Are you a client of ours?”

    Caller: “No. Do you think the IRS got my check?”

    Me: “You said you sent it a month ago? Did you mail it certified?”

    Caller: “No. Do you think they got it?”

    Me: “I’m 99.9% sure the IRS did not get your check.”

    Caller: “How do you know?”

    Me: “They’re extremely quick to take your money. They were even taking payments during the government shutdown.”

    Caller: “Crap, what do I do? Can I call the IRS?”

    Me: “You technically can call the IRS, just not today.”

    Caller: “Why not?”

    Me: “It’s deadline day. During the off season hold times are measured in hours. Today you’d never even get through. Plus, it’s past seven on the east coast, so I’m pretty sure all the agents are drunk right now.”

    Caller: “What do I do?!”

    Me: “Stop payment on the first check, write another one, and get thee to the post office and send it certified. You have forty minutes. Have a good day!”

    Channeling Through Some Good

    | USA | Money, Movies & TV

    (I work in a call center for paid TV service. They’ve recently lost a major broadcasting contract over the price for some VERY popular channels. Said channel viewers are known for being… let’s say fanatical.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Provider]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “What’s happened to [Channel]?”

    (I explain the expiring contract, reasons behind it, and how we are trying to resolve it. Then I brace for the outrage I am getting all too used to.)

    Customer: “Why they being so mean to you guys?”

    Me: *dumbstruck over this response* “I… uh. don’t know but I guess everyone wants more sometimes.”

    Customer: “They’re just being greedy! I’ll wait this out; don’t let them get what they want!”

    Me: “Uhh… well, I guess I’ll report that as feedback.”

    (This was hands down the most polite person on this issue I have talked to so far. This call single-handedly made every other call that day seem much better!)

    A Very Low-Rent Girl

    | Dublin, Ireland | Bad Behavior, Money, Rude & Risque

    (I work as a representative for a landlord as he has many apartment buildings. I collect the rent and deliver it to him. I deal with any problems that the residents have. I also deal with people whose rent is overdue. I am speaking with a young woman.)

    Me: “Do you realise that your rent is one month overdue?”

    Woman: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize; can I pay it now?”

    (I go to get a form for her. When I come back, she is lying on the desk, completely naked.)

    Woman: “Is this enough to pay my rent?”

    Me: “If you put your clothes on right now I will pretend this didn’t happen.”

    (She walks up to me.)

    Me: “Miss, I recommend you put your clothes on right now or I will have to contact the landlord.”

    Woman: “Oh, come on. I know you want it.”

    Me: “Miss, there is a security camera in the corner.”

    (She looked up, screamed and calls me a pervert, and then ran out of my office. A few seconds later she ran back in, grabbed her clothes, and ran out again.)

    A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 4

    | CO, USA | Money, Religion, Technology

    (I graduated with a PhD in mathematics from a major state university, but being from a fairly tight-knit family, when a storm takes out power to my grandfather’s family-owned business many family members go to help keep things running.)

    Customer: “I’m so glad you’re open without power. I can finally get some shopping done.”

    Me: “Yeah, I guess a power outage has its upsides, frees up some time.”

    Customer: “No, no, no. I had a vision from God, and he told me that math and money were created by the devil…”

    Me: “Umm… and the storm changes that how?”

    Customer: “Well, without power, you don’t have those machines to add for you, so we can go back to good old fashioned charity, like God intended.”

    Cousin: “You do realize we can do the math in our head, right? I mean this guy has a PhD in mathematics. I think he can add some prices up. Also, we have a backup generator; the registers should be up now.”

    (The customer couldn’t get out of the store fast enough, brandishing a cross at the cash registers. Apparently, anyone who can do some mental addition is a servant of the devil; that or he wanted free stuff, your pick.)

    Related:
    A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3
    A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2
    A Price For The Devil To Pay

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