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    Category: Money

    Completely Taking The Mickey

    | Madrid, Spain | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (A customer approaches me in the counter while I finish ringing up another. I’m sure she has come to the bakery a couple of times, but she’s not exactly a regular.)

    Customer: “So nice to see you!”

    Me: “Sure, it has been a while since I last saw you.”

    Customer: “That’s because I was on a trip, to [Theme Park]”

    Me: *smiling politely* “That sounds good.”

    Customer: *looking in her purse* “I actually bought you something.”

    (She takes a Theme Park Character figurine, putting it in the counter. I stare, confused.)

    Me: “Uh, thanks, I guess… So, have you found anything you like around? We just made these new cupcakes.”

    Customer: “Of course I saw them.”

    (Puts three boxes on the counter, and I proceed to ring them up.)

    Me: “Your total is €9.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, just with the [Theme Park Character] is fine.”

    (I stare confused.)

    Customer: “Yes, you see, this thing was €10, so I give you this in exchange. An exchange. That’s fine, right?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m truly grateful you thought of us, but we do not accept exchange here.

    You can either pay with cash or credit card…”

    (She shakes her head, and grabs the figure to slam it in the counter. The thing doesn’t seem €10 in the slightest, since it’s about three inches tall.)

    Customer: “No! I already told you this covers all the total! And even, you owe me €1!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t accept this. You can keep this [Theme Park Character] and pay with cash or credit card, as I said.”

    Customer: “No way!”

    (She grabs the cupcake boxes and starts to leave. My yells to call her back are heard by my coworkers, who help me and stop her from leaving. The woman had to be practically dragged away. The Theme Park Character remained on the counter for several hours, until a family comes up to the counter and the figure catches the attention of the son.)

    Kid: “I’ve got one like this! It came with my meal at [Famous Burger Chain]!”

    A Lot Of Hot Air Over Very Little Gas

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Transportation

    (When customers pre-pay for gas with a credit card, but their vehicle won’t take as much as they’ve put on it, the system automatically refunds the remaining portion onto the card that was used. This conversation takes place near the end of a 10-hour shift.)

    Customer: *in a not-so-nice tone* “I sent a kid in here earlier to get gas and he only pumped $17, but I was charged for $25. Why was I over-charged?”

    Me: *looks at his receipt* “Oh, well, it looks like they pre-paid for gas and it was charged to a credit card. The remaining portion would have been automatically refunded to your card.”

    Customer: “I need a receipt showing that it refunded.”

    Me: “I am so sorry, sir, but I can only print receipts for the past 10 transactions, and it looks like the kid you sent in got gas well over two hours ago. There isn’t a way for me to pull it up.”

    Customer: “Well how the h*** am I supposed to know that it refunded? How do I know you didn’t steal my money?”

    Me: “As soon as the nozzle on the pump is hung back up, it refunds automatically. You could actually call your credit company right now, and it would show that the balance is there.”

    Customer: “No! I will not call them! I want you to show me proof right now that you didn’t steal my money!”

    Me: “As I just said, there is nothing I can do. It’s been several hours since this transaction took place, so I can’t look it up. I assure you, if you would just call…”

    Customer: “I need you to write down that I only pumped $17 worth of gas and sign it so I can dispute it when it charges me $25 on my bill!”

    Me: “Sir, I have no idea how much gas you pumped, so I will not sign anything saying you only pumped $17. Furthermore, you’ve been yelling at me for over three minutes during a very busy time and I’m the only person here to ring out the 12 people behind you. I’ve told you that all you have to do is call the number on the back of the card to verify that you were only charged for what you pumped, and yet you’re still unsatisfied. The only other thing I can offer is that you call our customer service center and file a complaint. The number, and our store number are posted right beside you, and my name is on your receipt from earlier.”

    Customer: *shoves a pen and his receipt in my face* “I’m not leaving until you write a statement about my gas and sign it!”

    Me: “If you don’t leave, I will call the police to escort you from the premise.”

    (Just then, one of our regulars, who is a police officer and in uniform, walks in. I sigh in relief, but the customer doesn’t notice.)

    Customer: “You WILL write down that I only pumped $17. I’m not going anywhere!”

    Me: “Hey, [Officer], could you do me a favor?”

    Officer: “That depends… What is it?”

    (The customer looks over at the officer, back at me, and scrambles out the door.)

    Me: “Never mind; he left on his own.”

    Taxing Taxing

    | MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

    (Two customers come in close to closing and order three milkshakes. One of my employees makes them, they pay and leave. Five minutes later they come back in.)

    Customer #1: “These shakes all taste funny. We tried all three. They’re all sour. We would like our money refunded.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that. Give me just a moment.”

    (The card charges for the day don’t go through until we manually process them at the end of the night. Rather than giving them a refund for the charge amount, I find their exact order and comp off the shakes, making their order total $0.00 and removing their charge from having ever existed. I hand them a copy of the comped receipt.)

    Me: “Well, here you go. Sorry about the shakes. Have a good night.”

    Customer #1: “This is only for $8.70. We were charged $9.22.”

    Me: “It just says $8.70 because that’s the price for the shakes without tax, which was removed from the bill making the total bill zero. The tax isn’t displayed because no tax can be added to a total of zero.”

    Customer #2: “What, so I’m still being charged the tax!?”

    Me: “No… The total is zero. There is no charge being made at all to your card. The comp here says $8.70 because that is the original price for the shakes. ”

    Customer #2: “So you only refunded me $8.70, not $9.22.”

    Me: “The original price was removed entirely, making the total zero. As there is no total on your order now, there is no tax, so it’s not displayed. That’s just the way the receipt displays the information. The charge was reversed entirely. The total displayed is zero dollars and zero cents, which is the new total for your order.”

    (The customers, brows still furrowed, cautiously leave. Another moment later, customer #2 comes back in.)

    Customer #2: “Could I just have your name to reference in case of further incident?”

    Me: “Uh, sure, my name is [My Name].”

    (I include the incident in my end of the night communications to the next day’s managers in case anything comes up. I also work the next day, but am not the manager in charge. The next day, the manager comes to talk to me about mid-afternoon.)

    Manager: “Did you see your shake lady come in?”

    Me: “No. What? You mean the lady who thought I was charging her tax? From last night?”

    Manager: “Yeah, she actually came in! I had to explain to her that it wasn’t an actual refund but a reversal. She wasn’t getting it. I was like, it was a same day charge so we can just remove the charge from ever having happened rather than the hassle of doing a refund.”

    Me: “Yeah, I explained the same exact thing to her…”

    Manager: “She asked to speak to a manager, I should have gotten you!” *laughs*

    Me: “Oh, man, that would have been great. She drove all the way back up here over 52 cents.”

    Bill Of Rights

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (The gas station I work at frequently runs out of small bills on the weekends so we have a difficult time making change. Normally, we put large, colorful signs on the front counters asking for smaller bills, and most people will oblige, but we still get people who try to ask for change after using the ATM.)

    Customer: “Could I get change for this twenty?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t have any small bills to spare.” *points at neon pink sign*

    Customer: “That’s stupid. Just give me some change.”

    Me: “I can’t. I won’t be able to make change for people who actually buy something.”

    Customer: “Fine, whatever!”

    (He then proceeds to wander the store, finally picking out the cheapest item we have, a 50-cent package of crackers, and walks back up to the counter.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I’d like these.” *hands me a twenty*

    Me: “Sir, I really don’t have change for this.”

    Customer: “Just sell me this so I can get some f****** change!”

    (I ended up giving it to him just to get him out of the store.)

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31

    | Lewiston, ME, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (Working at a telesales company, I sold credit cards to people who wanted them.)

    Me: “So, I need your total annual income. What is it?”

    Customer: “$1200.”

    Me: “That’s… $1200 annually?”

    Customer: “Yup!”

    Me: “And…. now I need to know how much you pay for rent or mortgage each month.”

    Customer: “$500 a month.”

    (We go through the rest of the call rather well. At the end of the application we can usually see if they are approved or not. In this case they were not approved, so this is the rest of the conversation.)

    Me: “I’m sorry but you weren’t approved.”

    Customer: “What?! Why?”

    Me: “Well… it’s probably because you pay more in rent or mortgage in three months than you make in a year.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t! I make $1200 each month!”

    Me: “Oh! So you meant that $1200 was MONTHLY and not ANNUALLY?”

    Customer: “What does annually mean?”

    Me: “It means yearly. How much you make a year.”

    (The customer hung up. They were too stupid to be trusted with a credit card anyway.)

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 30
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 29
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 28


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