November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Money

Yesterday, All My Combos Seemed So Far Away…

| ME, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(It is my second day: An old customer comes in and rattles off a long combo order. Still getting used to the registers, I hit a wrong key, which causes the price to register without the combo discount.)

Me: “Okay, your total is [amount].”

Old Customer: “NO, it is NOT! It should be [different amount]. You did the same thing to me last week!”

Me: “…I just started yesterday, sir.”

Should Have Declined The Marriage

| USA | At The Checkout, Love/Romance, Money

(Customer walks up with his wife and a basket of items of which he spends ten minutes looking over and returning over half. With what he’s kept he lets me ring him out, then decides to pull out a check that has been scribbled over with five different store names.)

Customer: “You can take this as long as I initial it, right?”

Me: “Actually, sir, I don’t think I can because of the amount of times it’s been written over.”

Customer: “Oh, sure, you can take it.” *he tries to write our store name in the bottom corner*

Me: “I’m afraid not. However, if you have any other tender I can take that.”

(He has a white out pen in the items he is trying to purchase.)

Customer: “What if I used white out? Can I open that one and see if it will work?”

Me: “You unfortunately won’t be able to use it until it’s purchased. I can call my manager just to ensure you we can’t take the check, if you’d like.”

Customer’s Wife: “Well, then, do it. We don’t have all night for your incompetence.”

(The manager arrives and states that we cannot take his check but are glad to take any other tender.)

Customer’s Wife: *to her husband* “Just great! Give me your card, dumb-s***. Probably nothing on them since you’re always broke.”

Me: “Sorry, that card was declined.”

(She storms out of the store while he husband is asking her a question.)

Customer: “Sorry, she wrote on my last check to the wrong place.”

(He continues to slide cards that are coming up declined. Eventually he gives up and before leaving shouts:)

Customer: “Don’t ever get f****** married!”

Mother Is Due For A Conversation

| Dhaka, Bangladesh | Family & Kids, Money, Technology

(My mom just hung up on a call center employee about her phone bill.)

Me: “Mom, what’s wrong?”

Mom: “The d*** people at [Phone Service call center] won’t reduce my phone bill!”

Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

Mom: “Look!”

(She hands me the bill, which says that her current bill is BDT 4200, with this month’s charges being 500, and dues being a bit over BDT 3500.)

Mom: “I don’t even talk that much on my phone! All I do is get an Internet package every month and make a few calls! It shouldn’t be this high!”

Me: “Mom, you do see that it says here that you didn’t pay the last few bills fully, so you have dues of over BDT 3500, that is added to your existing bill.”

Mom: “But I didn’t talk that much! It shouldn’t be BDT 4000!”

Me: “Mom, that’s the DUES. Not this month’s bill. This month’s bill is BDT 500.”

Mom: “But I didn’t talk that much!”

Me: “Mom, you didn’t pay fully—”


Me: “So, even though you didn’t pay your bill fully and have dues, you still think your bill should be less? The dues you racked up should just be forgotten?”

Mom: “YES! Is that so hard to understand?”

Exchanging Un-Pleasantries

| Auckland, New Zealand | Extra Stupid, Money, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Hi there, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, hello love. I need US Dollars, please… I’m going on a family holiday to Italy then France.”

Me: “Ma’am, US Dollars cannot be used in those countries. Italy and France use the Euro.”

Customer: “NO, NO, NO! They use US Dollars; most countries use the US Dollar. It’s the most powerful money in the universe.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you, US Dollars are not used in those countries. You’ll end up exchanging it for Euros when you get there.”


Me: “Ma’am, I work in a foreign currency exchange.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Would you like the Euros, ma’am?”

Customer: “No, you smart little cow, give me US Dollars or I will complain to your manager!”

Me: “All right then, ma’am.”

(I give the customer US Dollars for use in Europe.)

Customer: “Now, that wasn’t hard to do was it?”

Me: “No, ma’am, thank you for your business.”

(She returned three hours later with her son (who seemed extremely annoyed with his mother) and exchanged the US Dollars back to the local currency then into Euros.)

That Tipped Her Over The Edge

North Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

(I’m at a popular Canadian coffee shop waiting in line. This coffee shop does not usually have tip jars available but today there is one at each counter. The older lady waiting in front of me strikes up a conversation.)

Customer: “Look at that! They’ve put tip jars out!”

Me: “Oh, yeah. I guess those aren’t usually there.”

Customer: “I’ve been to…” *lists every franchise in the area* “…and they all have tip jars now, too. The management changed and they are allowing them to put out tip jars!”

Me: “Well, every other coffee shop has tip jars.”

(Before she can reply the lady is called up to the cashier.)

Cashier: “What can I get for you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’ll have a medium double-double and just so you know I am never coming here ever again!”

Cashier: *obviously taken aback* “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. May I ask why?”

Customer: “You put out tip jars!”

(The customer begins to berate the poor cashier about a decision that clearly wasn’t hers. After about a minute I’ve had enough. I grab a few dollars out of my bag and go up the counter, reach around the crabby customer and throw it in the tip jar.)

Me: “This is for having to deal with her.”

(They finished up their transaction and the woman waited for her order while staring daggers at me. I went up to make my order and the cashier thanked me for standing up for her. I went in there about a week later and lo-and-behold, who did I see? The same cranky old bat! Looked like the tip jars weren’t so offensive after all. Hopefully she was treating the lovely staff there more respectfully… Maybe even throwing in a tip or two – though I doubt it.)

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