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    Category: Military

    That Kind Of Behavior Is Just Not Cricket, Part 2

    | UK | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Military, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a customer. I witness an argument at one of the tills over a false label on an expensive cricket set. It appears as though the label has been attached by the customer. It is obviously written in green felt tip and not real.)

    Customer: “Why won’t you give me the discount?”

    Employee: “Because this is obviously a fake label.”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A SCAM ARTIST! GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

    (The employee fetches a manager.)

    Manager: “Sir, we are not going to sell you a set that costs £189.99 for only £15. This is obviously not a real label.”

    (The customer takes a bat out of the pack and raises it in a threatening motion.)

    Customer: “GIVE IT TO ME FOR FREE OR I’LL BREAK YOUR SKULLS!”

    (Suddenly, out of nowhere, a random customer who is just walking past grabs the bat. He moves it round the unruly customer’s shoulder, flooring the bad customer and disarming him in one motion. The random customer goes right up to his face.)

    Random Customer: “Buddy, you ain’t gonna get s*** unless you calm down and learn to be an honest man instead of a p***k. F*** off.”

    (The unruly customer gets up and runs off, only to be grabbed by security and arrested a few minutes later. The good customer was given a £100 gift card and was even offered a job as a security guard! He declined, saying it was his duty to be a good citizen. I found out he was an ex-colonel in the British army and had been in tougher situations than that.)

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    That Kind Of Behavior Is Just Not Cricket

    Talking To Private Line

    | OH, USA | Bizarre, Military

    (I am a customer service representative for a big phone company.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Phone Company]! My name is [Name]! Is the phone number you’re calling in reference to [Phone Number]?

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Great! And how can I assist you today?”

    Caller: “I am just calling to warn you. I have an army ready to take down [Phone Company].”

    Me: “Uhm… okay. I’m sorry? Is there a problem I can help you resolve?”

    Caller: “No! I don’t want your help. I know how you people are. You’re all after one thing. Money. You’ve charged my bill like crazy. ON. PURPOSE. We are going to take you down!”

    Me: “I’m sorry that you’re having a billing issue sir. I’m sure I can fix it for you. I’m taking a look at your bill right now—”

    Caller: “I don’t want your help! I have friends in the government!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not sure what the issue is. What can I do to help you?”

    Caller: “Tell your boss. And your boss’s boss. I’m going to take you down! You think you can cheat me!?”

    Me: “No… sir?”

    Caller: *hangs up*

    Should Have Stolen Some Military Intelligence

    | Albany, NY, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Military, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m working at the service desk of a large retailer when I’m called into the security office by the asset control associate while he detains and questions a female who was caught shoplifting. I walk in and the girl is obviously in her early 20s. She’s sitting there trying to force out the most fake sobbing I’ve ever seen. Her boyfriend has come in to support her, but at the moment he has to wait outside the room.)

    Coworker: “Alright, well, the police are on the way and the Store Manager is on her way up—”

    Shoplifter: “No! Please! You can’t do this! I can pay for the stuff!”

    Coworker: “Miss, you tried stealing $300 worth of electronics.”

    Shoplifter: “No, you don’t get it! I can pay for it! I was just… I wasn’t thinking! I’ve been really stressed!”

    Coworker: “Stressed enough to try and walk out the front door with groceries covering a blu-ray player?”

    Shoplifter: “Please! I can pay!”

    Coworker: “You had a chance to pay for it when you went through the cash register to pay for your groceries, and you had a chance to pay for it when you walked through the store again, picked it up and walked right by MORE registers to leave with it.”

    Shoplifter: “I just… you’re wearing dog tags, right?! What military branch?”

    Coworker: “Marines.”

    Shoplifter: “Please! My boyfriend is a marine too! He just got back from Afghanistan!”

    Coworker: “Really?”

    (My coworker stands up, opens the door, and looks to her boyfriend who is still standing there waiting.)

    Coworker: “Hey, what military branch were you in?”

    Boyfriend: “Huh? I just finished boot camp for Air Force.”

    Coworker: “Thanks.”

    (My coworker shuts the door, and stares at the shoplifter accusingly.)

    Coworker: “Air Force boot camp? Really? That’s cheap, miss.”

    Shoplifter: “SAME THING!”

    Coworker & Me: “It really isn’t.”

    Shoplifter: “You guys suck! This is so stupid! Let me pay for it! Don’t call the cops! Please!”

    Coworker: “Too late. Speaking of the police, your chariot awaits.”

    (The Store Manager decided to press charges as it turned out she’d stolen from other stores in the area.)

    War On Terrible Customers

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Military

    (My husband and I are waiting in line. There is a customer in front of us that is finishing up her transaction, and a younger customer in the line behind us. The customer cashes out but then tells us it will be just one more minute since she has to ring up some other items in a separate transaction.)

    Younger Customer: “Oh my God, lady! Just hurry up already! People have places to be you know!”

    Customer: *turning to speak to us* “I’m so sorry; I just needed to ring my personal items up separately. You see, I volunteer to send care packages to our troops overseas and need to keep the donated items separate from my personal stuff.”

    My Husband: “Oh, no problem. It’s really awesome of you to do that! Take your time.”

    Customer: “I figure it’s the least I could do in exchange for everything they do for us.”

    (By this point, the younger girl behind us starts groaning again and I turn around and shoot her a dirty look. She turns a little red and looks away.)

    Customer: *after finishing her last transaction* “Oh dear, I forgot to scan these last few items. Oh well, I guess these will just have to be put back. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience!”

    My Husband: “Here, let us pay for those. Just stick them with our stuff.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay, thank you! Here you go. Have a wonderful evening.”

    (We put the items through on our order and just as the last one is scanned, the customer starts to walk away.)

    Me: “Ma’am, wait! Don’t forget about these!”

    Customer: “Oh, you guys are buying them for the care packages? I thought you were just going to keep them for yourself so they wouldn’t have to be put back. Oh my goodness, that is just the nicest thing!” *starts welling up* “You didn’t have to do that. You are such good people. Thank you so much! I know they will be appreciated!”

    (At this point, the customer comes back and gives us a hug before walking off. The younger customer starts unloading her cart full of stuff on the belt, but as soon as our transaction is finished, the checker decides to close the lane, forcing her to go stand in a line with about 10 other people waiting. Serves her right!)

    What Your Country Can Do For You

    | Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Military

    (I’m with my dad, who is an army vet, and three of my friends. My family has no money right now, so my friends are paying.)

    Waiter: “Here’s your bill. The couple over there paid for $50.”

    Paying Friend: “What?”

    Me: “What?”

    Waiter: “They didn’t tell you?”

    My Dad: “No, they didn’t.”

    Waiter: “They saw your vet hat, and said that they’ll pay for $50.”

    Me: “Faith in humanity is über restored!”

    (To that couple who paid for most of our meal, thank you. Your actions did more than you know for not just my family, but my friends as well. You are saints among men.)

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