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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    It’s Cent-less To Argue

    | Allentown, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

    (I am a cashier at the front end of a grocery store. A customer hands me four $1 bills.)

    Customer: “$3.50 in quarters please!”

    Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

    Customer: “You heard me; I’d like $3.50 in quarters.”

    Me: “Wouldn’t you just like the $4 in quarters?”

    Customer: “No? If I wanted that, then I would have asked for $4 in quarters.”

    Me: “Then how would you like the remaining $0.50?”

    Customer: “What remaining $0.50? Look, I don’t know what is so hard about this.”

    (I just gave the customer his $4 worth of quarters, and he walked away.)

    Anatomy Of An Idiot

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Books & Reading, Health & Body, Math & Science, Movies & TV

    (A customer comes to the register and puts a leather bound copy of ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ on the counter.)

    Customer: “Yes, I would like to return this book; it wasn’t what I expected.”

    Me: “Okay, I can do that for you.”

    Customer: “It was terrible; it’s not at all like the television show.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “It’s my favorite show, and I was really excited to read this, but I don’t know what they were thinking with this book.”

    (I am dumbfounded, but I finish the transaction and send the customer on her way. The next customer in line approaches.)

    Next Customer: “How is it you manage to get through a full day of that sort of bull-s*** and not punch yourself in the face?”

    Me: “No idea, sir.”

    Stupid Laws Of Spacetime

    | UK | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I have been stuck in traffic for two hours due to a crash on the motorway.)

    Customer: “MY ORDER IS OVER AN HOUR LATE!”

    Me: “I am truly sorry; I was stuck in traffic on the motorway.”

    Customer: “And you didn’t call!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it is illegal to use a phone whilst in control of a motor vehicle.”

    Customer: “I know that! I’m not stupid. Are you? Are you stupid?”

    Me: “I’m sorry again, sir. If you call my supervisor, I’m sure they will reimburse you your delivery charge.”

    Customer: “Are you ignoring my question on purpose? Are you stupid? Or are you just retarded like the rest of your colleagues?!”

    Me: “No, sir, I’m not. I have a basic understanding of quantum physics and molecular biology. What do you have?”

    Customer: “Uh…”

    Me: “Good day, sir.”

    Doesn’t Have The Math Jeans

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (A customer is trying to exchange a pair of jeans. My coworker notices he will be getting some money back.)

    Coworker: “Sir, this pair of jeans is less than the pair you bought earlier, so I will give you the cash back.”

    Customer: “That’s it! Give me my d*** pants back! I don’t want to deal with this s*** anymore!”

    (My coworker looks stunned at the guy’s outburst.)

    Coworker: “But sir, you’ll be getting money back!”

    Customer: “I don’t care! Just give me my d*** pants back! Or explain it to me; I don’t understand this!”

    Coworker: “Well sir, this pair—”

    Customer: “Just give me the d*** pants! You guys always do s*** like this; you just lost a good customer!”

    (The customer grabs the pants and storms towards the doors. As he leaves, a second customer stars applauding, and yells after him.)

    Customer #2: “Sure doesn’t sound like it!”

    New Degrees Of Stupidity

    | WA, USA | Canada, Math & Science

    (I work in a clothing store at an outlet mall where we get a lot of Canadian customers. It was particularly cold on the day this occurred. Two teenage girls walk into my store.)

    Me: “Hey, how are you girls doing this morning? Are you staying warm?”

    Girl #1: “We’re trying!”

    Me: “When I came into the store from my car this morning, it was 18 degrees! That’s FREEZING!”

    Girl #1: “Yeah it is… Wait, how did you know we were from Canada?”

    Me: “…I didn’t…”

    Girl #1: “But how did you know we needed Celsius instead of Fahrenheit?”

    Me: “Uh… that was Fahrenheit.”

    Girl #2: *laughs at her friend* “Wow! Now this girl probably thinks we’re stupid! Good job!”


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