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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    Stupid Laws Of Spacetime

    | UK | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I have been stuck in traffic for two hours due to a crash on the motorway.)

    Customer: “MY ORDER IS OVER AN HOUR LATE!”

    Me: “I am truly sorry; I was stuck in traffic on the motorway.”

    Customer: “And you didn’t call!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it is illegal to use a phone whilst in control of a motor vehicle.”

    Customer: “I know that! I’m not stupid. Are you? Are you stupid?”

    Me: “I’m sorry again, sir. If you call my supervisor, I’m sure they will reimburse you your delivery charge.”

    Customer: “Are you ignoring my question on purpose? Are you stupid? Or are you just retarded like the rest of your colleagues?!”

    Me: “No, sir, I’m not. I have a basic understanding of quantum physics and molecular biology. What do you have?”

    Customer: “Uh…”

    Me: “Good day, sir.”

    Doesn’t Have The Math Jeans

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (A customer is trying to exchange a pair of jeans. My coworker notices he will be getting some money back.)

    Coworker: “Sir, this pair of jeans is less than the pair you bought earlier, so I will give you the cash back.”

    Customer: “That’s it! Give me my d*** pants back! I don’t want to deal with this s*** anymore!”

    (My coworker looks stunned at the guy’s outburst.)

    Coworker: “But sir, you’ll be getting money back!”

    Customer: “I don’t care! Just give me my d*** pants back! Or explain it to me; I don’t understand this!”

    Coworker: “Well sir, this pair—”

    Customer: “Just give me the d*** pants! You guys always do s*** like this; you just lost a good customer!”

    (The customer grabs the pants and storms towards the doors. As he leaves, a second customer stars applauding, and yells after him.)

    Customer #2: “Sure doesn’t sound like it!”

    New Degrees Of Stupidity

    | WA, USA | Canada, Math & Science

    (I work in a clothing store at an outlet mall where we get a lot of Canadian customers. It was particularly cold on the day this occurred. Two teenage girls walk into my store.)

    Me: “Hey, how are you girls doing this morning? Are you staying warm?”

    Girl #1: “We’re trying!”

    Me: “When I came into the store from my car this morning, it was 18 degrees! That’s FREEZING!”

    Girl #1: “Yeah it is… Wait, how did you know we were from Canada?”

    Me: “…I didn’t…”

    Girl #1: “But how did you know we needed Celsius instead of Fahrenheit?”

    Me: “Uh… that was Fahrenheit.”

    Girl #2: *laughs at her friend* “Wow! Now this girl probably thinks we’re stupid! Good job!”

    A Thick Slice Of Humble Pie, Part 2

    | MO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money

    (I’m working at the cash register of a pizza place. A customer storms in and demands his pizza.)

    Me: “Sorry, sir, it seems I don’t have anything in here by that name or phone number. Are you sure you called the right store?”

    Customer: “YES! The person who took my order refused to honor this coupon, and so I hung up on them!”

    Me: “Well, sir, that’s probably why it isn’t in here. Should I place a new order?”

    Customer: “Fine! But I want it delivered to my house!”

    (The customer proceeds to place the order, as more customers are lining up and watching the spectacle. I read him the final total.)

    Customer: “That’s not the total! What is wrong with you people?! Can’t anyone do math? It says here I get two pizzas for $11.95.”

    Me: “Actually sir, it’s two pizzas for $11.95 each. Do you still want to place the order?”

    (Everyone is watching at this point. The customer throws the coupon at me.)

    Customer: “WHAT DOES THIS SAY?”

    Me: “Two pizzas for $11.95 each, no limit, expires [date].”

    (The customer’s tail is between his legs, and he’s red with embarrassment. With an entire crowd watching, he reluctantly mumbles and pays the bill.)

    Related:
    A Thick Slice Of Humble Pie

    Bad At Math But Good At Infractions

    | Ventura, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Math & Science

    (My mom and I are in line at the register. In front of us is a customer with clearly a lot of things.)

    Cashier: “Okay, your total comes to $15.31.”

    Customer #1: “No, that’s not right. The dog food and water comes to $8.00!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry; let me try again. It still comes back to $15.31.”

    Customer #1: “Look, you stupid b****! This should all come to $8.00! Old hags like you shouldn’t be f****** working today. You’re too stupid!”

    (The cashier is in tears. My mom overhears this, and walks up to the customer.)

    My Mom: “Now you listen, little brat. This woman has been polite, calm and patient with you. Just shut the f*** up and buy your things! Maybe if you had the intelligence to check the prices instead of relying on others, you wouldn’t be in this situation, would you? I’ve had an awful day, and I don’t want to spend the next ten minutes listening to your God-d*** mouth!”

    (The customer remains silent the whole time. He buys his things and leaves. We walk up to the register.)

    My Mom: “So, how was your day?”

    Cashier: “Great! Thank you! I’ve been really stressed out. I really needed that.”

    Me: “If you lived with us, you would hear a lot more than that!”

    (We share a laugh, and the cashier gives us a discount on our things on behalf of my mom shutting the customer up!)


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