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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    Periodically Stupid

    | Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Technology

    (I work in the kitchen department of a department store.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I have a complaint about your microwave-safe bowls.”

    Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Well, I was cooking my lunch, when all of a sudden I see sparks inside the microwave. I quickly stopped it, took it out and the side of my microwave was burnt. This is disgusting; these are meant to be MICROWAVE SAFE. These are a hazard.”

    Me: “Well, sir, many customers have purchased the same microwave-safe bowls as this and have not had any problems. It may have been a problem with the microwave, or maybe you had a bit of metal on the inside which caused the sparks? Did you perhaps accidentally leave a metal spoon or fork in the bowl?”

    Customer: “There was no metal.”

    Me: “Okay, what did you use to cover the food?”

    Customer: “Aluminum foil.”

    Me: “That would be the problem. Like having any other metal in the microwave, aluminum foil can cause sparks and possibly be a fire hazard. You need to use plastic, such as cling wrap.”

    Customer: “But aluminum foil isn’t metal.”

    Me: “Yes it is, Aluminum is metal.”

    Customer: “Don’t be stupid; aluminum foil can’t be metal. It’s soft, so it is a plastic. Metals are hard.”

    He Wants Coffee As Dense As He Is

    | NY, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

    Me: “Here is your coffee, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh, could you add more milk to that?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (Since the coffee cup is already full, I walk over to the sink to pour a little out before adding more milk.)

    Customer: “Stop that! I didn’t say to pour any out!”

    Me: “Sir, the cup was full. In order to add more milk, I have to pour a little coffee out.”

    Customer: “You should obey what your customers tell you!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but sometimes I have to obey the laws of physics instead.”

    Weekly Roundup: Math Counts!

    | Not Always Right | Math & Science, Roundups

    Weekly Roundup: Math Counts! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories where math skills don’t add up!

    1. Equivalence, Meet Ignorance (5,254 thumbs up)
    2. The Count Would Be Proud (2,508 thumbs up)
    3. Adventures In The Third Dimension, Part 2 (1,571 thumbs up)
    4. Those Heathens And Their Time-Telling Ways (2,368 thumbs up)
    5. Don’t Count Out The Cost Of Education (1,181 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Fractional Intelligence, Part 2

    , | Jasper, IN, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I work at the drive-thru.)

    Me: “Thank you for choosing [restaurant]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I would like a 16 piece family meal with two thirds of it fish.”

    Me: I’m sorry, ma’am; did you want 10 or 11 fish?”

    Customer: “What do mean?”

    Me: “Two thirds isn’t a proper fraction to use. It will give you between 10-11 pieces. So how many pieces would you like?”

    Customer: “I don’t see how you get those numbers. Just give me 12 fish. Is that a fraction you can figure out?”

    Me: “Yes, one 16 piece, 3/4 fish the rest chicken. Is there anything else for you today?”

    Customer: “I don’t see the difference between 3/4 and 2/3, but okay.”

    Related:
    Fractional Intelligence

    Putting The Pain In Pain Au Chocolat

    | Portland, ME, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Top

    (I’m 21 years old, but look considerably younger. I have just spent the day with my professor collecting ticks for a research internship, as well as driving quite a bit to find proper fitting gear for the next time we go out.)

    Me: “…and I’d like a chocolate pastry.”

    Cashier: “Okay! That’s the last one; they’re fantastic!”

    (The customer behind me suddenly starts shouting.)

    Customer: “NO! I wanted one of those; what makes you so special you get to have one? I’m your elder; you should give it to me!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I was here first, and I’ve had a long, stressful day. I would like to get it, as it is the first thing I will have eaten since 7:30 this morning.”

    Customer: “What could you have done that was so stressful? You’ve clearly been laying out in the sun; you’re sun burnt for crying out loud! I’ll have you know that I have had an extremely stressful day, and as your elder, I would like this pastry.”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, she was here first. Unless she wants to give it to you, I am going to let her have it.”

    Customer: “Well, she should give it to me. I mean, how hard is it to lay out in the sun all day?”

    Me: “Ma’am, with all due respect, I have been outside working in the field all day, capturing small mammals and collecting deer ticks from them, and releasing them. I have dealt with angry squirrels, as well as a very frightened cardinal. I then had to drive about 300 miles today to find proper fitting gear. While I may look younger, I am 21 years old. I would like that pastry, as it is now 5:00 pm, and I have not eaten anything since this morning, and I need to continue driving home after this. If I may ask, what was so stressful about your day that could possibly compare to that?”

    Customer: “I BROKE A NAIL! Do you understand how much that hurts?”

    (The customer storms away to get a manager, who, having heard the whole thing, laughs in her face.)


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