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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    Acting Totally Incremental

    | TX, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I am out on delivery late at night. The customer to whom I am delivering has been very drunk on the phone. When I arrive at his house, he stumbles outside to meet me, pulling out his wallet. A girl follows him outside.)

    Me: “Mr. [Name]?”

    Drunken Customer: “Yep, that’s me.”

    Me: “Here you are, sir! Your total this evening will be $46.70!”

    Drunken Customer: “Okay. Here you go.”

    (The customer hands me $70.)

    Me: “Of course, sir; let me get your change.”

    (I hand back a twenty dollar bill and three ones, but he won’t take it.)

    Drunken Customer: “Nope. No change. That’s your $5 tip right there.”

    Me: “Um, yes, sir, I appreciate it very much, but—”

    Drunken Customer: “No, no, no. Listen. 46 and whatever is like 47, right?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Drunken Customer: “Well, fifty minus forty-seven is this three, right?” *points to the three $1 bills*

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Drunken Customer: “That leaves the two and the zero.” *points at the $20 bill* “And two plus zero is two, and then plus the other $3, and two plus three is five, and that’s your $5 tip!”

    Girl: “Just take it and go. He thinks he’s good at math when he’s drunk.”

    Me: “Thank you very much, sir! Have a wonderful evening!”

    Drunken Customer: “Don’t spend all your $5 in one place!”

    (He is the best tipping customer of the night! When I get back to the store, my manager can’t believe how thoroughly the customer explained his math!)

    A Bad Frame Of Mind

    | IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I work in a frame shop for a large craft store chain. I take a phone call.)

    Caller: “Yes, do you have black frames?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Caller: “How much are they?”

    Me: “Well, it depends on the size, style, etc.”

    Caller: “Okay, can you tell me what each of them costs?”

    Me: “Ma’am, there are at least 75 different black frames; you really are going to have to come in and look for yourself.”

    Caller: “Well, I’m not going to come in unless I have some idea how much they cost.”

    Me: “Anywhere between $1 and $70.”

    (The caller hangs up. Later that same day, the caller comes in. I recognize her voice.)

    Caller: “Excuse me; can you tell me where your frames are?”

    Me: “This whole section over here.”

    Customer: “I see you have this frame in a 16 x 20, but I need it in a 20 x 16.”

    (I take the frame from her and turn it on its side.)

    Customer: *huffs* “Well, they should put on the package that you can turn it either way!” *storms off*

    Coworker: “Dude, seriously?”

    Cold Customers To Calculating Staff

    | Ashford, Kent, UK | At The Checkout, Math & Science

    (Working on the till can sometimes get a bit boring and repetitive, especially when having to ask the same questions over and over again. To keep my brain busy, when a customer pays with cash I sometimes work out the change in my head before the till tells me what it is.)

    Me: “Your change today will be [amount].”

    (I enter the amount of money given into the till. Sure enough, I am correct with the change.)

    Customer: “You knew it beforehand? How did you know?”

    Me: “Um, mental arithmetic?”

    Customer: “No, no! You work in a shop! You shouldn’t know math! Honestly, what next?!”

    Waiting For That Light Bulb Moment That Never Comes

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in a call center making camping reservations for several state parks.)

    Me: “Okay, are you looking for an electric or a non-electric site?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “Well, one site has electricity for you to hook an RV or a camper up to, and the non-electric has no hookups.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand.”

    Me: “An electric site has electricity. A non-electric site does not.”

    Customer: “I still don’t understand.”

    Me: “Um… an electric site has an outlet for you to plug things into. A non-electric site does not.”

    Customer: “So… what’s the difference again?”

    Me: *sighs* “Are you camping in a tent or an RV?”

    (I end up being on the call for 40 minutes. The customer continues asking me the difference between an electric site, and a non-electric site.)

    Count On A Teenager

    | FL, USA | Math & Science, Money

    (I am doing some shopping. I am in the soda aisle, when an older customer comes up to me. I am 18.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; I was hoping you could do me a favor. I don’t have a calculator, and I only need one of these.”

    (The customer points to sodas marked five for $11.)

    Customer: “Could you figure out how much one is?”

    Me: “Of course! One is $2.20.”

    Customer: *suddenly angry* “If you didn’t want to do it, you could have just said so! There’s no way some stupid teenager like you could figure that out without a calculator! You teenagers can’t even add or subtract without one; how could you possibly work out decimals without one? You just made up a number to get me to go away! I’m on a budget, trying to make sure I have enough to pay for my groceries, and here you are telling me an incorrect number! You could have completely ruined my budget for the rest of the month by making me go over!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry that you think I was trying to do that to you.”

    (I pull out my phone and do the math.)

    Me: “The price is still $2.20. But just because you only know stupid teenagers, doesn’t mean you should assume everyone you meet is the same. Might I remind you that you had me do it for you, because you didn’t have a calculator?”


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