October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

Only A Hundredth Of The Intelligence

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Math & Science

(Our shop prints a lot of the sizes on products in cm when a lot of older customers are more familiar with inches.)

Customer: “Hi, I need help with these curtain sizes, please!”

Me: “What’s the matter?”

Customer: “It says here the length is 228 cm, but I’m not sure what that means.”

Me: “Okay, well 228 cm is roughly—”

Customer: “Because I need a 2.28 m length curtain!”

Me: “…”

Small Minds Can’t Do Small Print

, | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I work for a big fast food company and occasionally we have coupons for which no one bothers to read the fine print, which says to let the order taker know of the coupon prior to ordering.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, can I get this meal?”

(Because I have worked for so long and know most of the prices I don’t always punch the orders in right away which comes in handy when the people don’t tell me about the coupon beforehand.)

Me: “Okay your total is [total]. Please drive ahead.”

Customer: “But I have a coupon!”

Me: “Sure. In the future please let me know before your order.”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(Customer drives off and pulls up to my window.)

Me: “Okay your new total is [total]; may I have the coupon, please?”

Customer: “I don’t have it.”

Me: “I’m sorry but I cannot give you a discount without the coupon.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

Me: “Well, my management requires me to collect the coupons.”

Customer: “But I can print them online as much as I want!”

Me: “True. However I do need to collect the coupon to give you the discount.”

Customer: “This is bull-s**t! I don’t understand why I can’t get the d*** discount!”

(I try to explain it the concept in the simplest terms I can think of.)

Me: “Think about it this way: Can you get into a concert without the ticket?”


(Clearly natural selection has stopped since people like this are still around…)

In For A Penny, In For A Pound Bag

| Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

Boyfriend: “Baby carrots are $0.99 for a one pound bag and $1.99 for a two pound bag.”

Me: “I need two pounds.”

(My boyfriend grabs a two pound bag and a customer next to him does as well.)

Me: “You know, it’s technically cheaper to buy two one pound bags—”

(The customer next to my boyfriend suddenly SLAMS his carrots down, snatches two one pound bags from the display and SPRINTS away.)

Me: “…by one penny.”

TARDIS Rental Services

| Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Math & Science, Money, Transportation

(I work in a travel agency and we handle a lot of rental car bookings. Note: if you book a car early, and want to change something about the booking, the rate for the car will change. This exchange takes place with a customer who has booked a car about three months prior:)

Customer: “I’d like to change my booking to pick the car up a day earlier.”

Me: “I’d be happy to take care of that.” *pulls up new booking info* “Your new rate is going to be  [several hundred dollars more].”

Customer: “For that much, I could just go buy a car. The new rate is supposed to only be $30 dollars more for an extra day.”

Me: “That’s not how it works. You booked this three months ago and that rate isn’t available anymore. That extra day rate is if you return it a day later, not if you pick it up a day earlier.”

Customer: “Can’t you just go back to then and re-book it for me?”

Me: “You want me to travel back to March and book this for you again?”


Me: “I can’t travel through time to re-book this for you. I’m sorry. If you want to change it—”

Customer: “—well never mind. I’ll just take care of it myself.” *storms out of the office*

Wise To The Pennywise

| Dallas, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money, Top

(I am a customer waiting in line. There is only one register open, and the woman before me with her five grown children only has five items. The cashier gives the woman her total.)

Customer: “That’s not right. You didn’t add the coupons.”

Cashier: “I did, ma’am. They were on [item #1] and [item #2]. The coupons do not apply to already discounted items.”

Customer: “But it should be less. You’re cheating me out of $1.20!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, your coupons did apply. You had two of them and they went to the two items not on sale. The other three items were on sale.”

Customer: “This isn’t fair! You see me with these kids?” *she gestures to her five grown children wandering around the aisle* “I have to feed them tonight! I need that money! You are cheating me!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I can go over the receipt with you to show you exactly how the register calculated your total. Or I can return the items if you need the money.”

Customer: “No! I know I am right!”

(This goes on for 15 minutes, with the line behind me building. A manager is called up to explain that there was no error, but the customer keeps insisting. The manager tries to get the cashier onto another register to help the line, but the customer is refusing to let anyone leave their spot.)

Customer: “You’re cheating me out of my money! I should call your head office. You are cheating a poor mother so she can’t feed her kids. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Me: *fed up* “Ma’am, if it’s that big of a deal, I’ll give you $1.20 to cover your purchase. In fact, we can start up a collection. Everyone! This poor woman is unable to pay for some of her order, and she needs every penny that she can to feed her kids. Let’s ignore the fact that all of them are holding iPhone 5s and the three young ladies have Coach and Gucci bags that are probably worth more than what any of us make in a month. This woman can’t afford to feed them, and is spending her money on general crafting supplies. Who would like to help me pay for the $1.20 that she can’t cover on her purchase?”

(The customer starts fuming and stomps off without her items; her wide eyed kids walking behind her in shock. I was called up to the register a moment later.)

Cashier: “Thank you…”

Me: “No need. I have dealt with b****es like that for years. I’ve always wanted to do that and not worry about getting fired!”

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