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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    TARDIS Rental Services

    | Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Math & Science, Money, Transportation

    (I work in a travel agency and we handle a lot of rental car bookings. Note: if you book a car early, and want to change something about the booking, the rate for the car will change. This exchange takes place with a customer who has booked a car about three months prior:)

    Customer: “I’d like to change my booking to pick the car up a day earlier.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to take care of that.” *pulls up new booking info* “Your new rate is going to be  [several hundred dollars more].”

    Customer: “For that much, I could just go buy a car. The new rate is supposed to only be $30 dollars more for an extra day.”

    Me: “That’s not how it works. You booked this three months ago and that rate isn’t available anymore. That extra day rate is if you return it a day later, not if you pick it up a day earlier.”

    Customer: “Can’t you just go back to then and re-book it for me?”

    Me: “You want me to travel back to March and book this for you again?”

    Customer:“Yes.”

    Me: “I can’t travel through time to re-book this for you. I’m sorry. If you want to change it—”

    Customer: “—well never mind. I’ll just take care of it myself.” *storms out of the office*

    Wise To The Pennywise

    | Dallas, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money, Top

    (I am a customer waiting in line. There is only one register open, and the woman before me with her five grown children only has five items. The cashier gives the woman her total.)

    Customer: “That’s not right. You didn’t add the coupons.”

    Cashier: “I did, ma’am. They were on [item #1] and [item #2]. The coupons do not apply to already discounted items.”

    Customer: “But it should be less. You’re cheating me out of $1.20!”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, your coupons did apply. You had two of them and they went to the two items not on sale. The other three items were on sale.”

    Customer: “This isn’t fair! You see me with these kids?” *she gestures to her five grown children wandering around the aisle* “I have to feed them tonight! I need that money! You are cheating me!”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, I can go over the receipt with you to show you exactly how the register calculated your total. Or I can return the items if you need the money.”

    Customer: “No! I know I am right!”

    (This goes on for 15 minutes, with the line behind me building. A manager is called up to explain that there was no error, but the customer keeps insisting. The manager tries to get the cashier onto another register to help the line, but the customer is refusing to let anyone leave their spot.)

    Customer: “You’re cheating me out of my money! I should call your head office. You are cheating a poor mother so she can’t feed her kids. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

    Me: *fed up* “Ma’am, if it’s that big of a deal, I’ll give you $1.20 to cover your purchase. In fact, we can start up a collection. Everyone! This poor woman is unable to pay for some of her order, and she needs every penny that she can to feed her kids. Let’s ignore the fact that all of them are holding iPhone 5s and the three young ladies have Coach and Gucci bags that are probably worth more than what any of us make in a month. This woman can’t afford to feed them, and is spending her money on general crafting supplies. Who would like to help me pay for the $1.20 that she can’t cover on her purchase?”

    (The customer starts fuming and stomps off without her items; her wide eyed kids walking behind her in shock. I was called up to the register a moment later.)

    Cashier: “Thank you…”

    Me: “No need. I have dealt with b****es like that for years. I’ve always wanted to do that and not worry about getting fired!”

    Not The Brightest Question

    | Australia | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Technology

    (I’ve been talking to this customer for about five minutes already, answering questions about telescopes that we sell, and some of the questions just end up getting a bit silly…)

    Customer: “So, with these telescopes would you be able to see meteors and other stars with them?”

    Me: “You would be able to see meteors though they’re going to pass through your field of view so quickly it’d be pointless trying to find them, as you’d need to be aiming at the exact spot they’re going to pass through. As for other stars, they’re so far away that they will still just look like dots of light in the night sky.”

    Customer: “What about our sun? Could you look at that?”

    Me: “If you wanted to suffer eye damage, you certainly could, though it’s not recommended.”

    Customer: “Doctors can fix blindness though, nowadays, can’t they?”

    Sums Up The Point Quite Nicely

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

    (A customer comes up to my register ranting about how “Kids today don’t know math!” I’m in high school.)

    Customer: “Kids today are just so ignorant! I’ll bet this girl here doesn’t even know any basic math!”

    (She then starts quizzing me on mental math as I’m trying to ring out her order. By the grace of God, I get all of them right.)

    Customer: “Well, I guess you’re the exception to the rule, then.”

    (She then counts out her change for me.)

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes?”

    Me: “Your total was $10.60. You only gave me $10.50. I think you miscounted.”

    Customer: *embarrassed* “Oh.”

    (She quickly recounts her change and leaves.)

    Coworker: “That was the best thing ever.”

    Their IQ Is Below Zero

    | Portsmouth, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (Whilst taking a customer’s cocktail order on a Friday night:)

    Customer: “Is your ice fresh or frozen?”

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