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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    All That Glitters Is Not Gold

    | Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    Customer: “Excuse me, what are these earrings?”

    Me: “Those are an amethyst stone set in rose gold.”

    Customer: “Rose gold? What is that, some cheap, fake gold? Gold is expensive!”

    Me: “No, no, it is gold. Gold comes in different hues – like white gold, classic yellow gold, and rose gold.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, it’s too cheap to be pure gold.”

    Me: “Well, gold has to be set as an alloy. It is too soft to be in pure elemental form, so they use another metal to keep it solid.”

    Customer: “What other metal is it? That’s too expensive if it’s not gold.”

    Me: “It’s set over sterling silver.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, never mind then…”

    Three-dom Isn’t Free

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I’m a cashier at the local supercenter and I’m working the afternoon shift. We have impulse candy racks at the end of each register that come in both normal and king-sized packages. Under the price tags is a strip that reads “all king-sized candy bars three for $3.” A customer approaches my register.)

    Customer: “The candy is three for $3 dollars, yes?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. The king-sized candy bars are all three for $3.”

    (The customer grabs a few of the candy bars from the candy rack and sets them down on the conveyor belt with the rest of his items. I check them all out like normal and I notice that he had purchased two candy bars for $0.68 and one king-sized candy bar for $1. The customer gives me a strange, irritated look as I hit the total button on my keyboard.)

    Customer: “The candy was three for $3. You said it was three for $3.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, the king-sized candy bars are all 3 for $3. You bought two candy bars that cost $0.68 and one king-sized candy bar for $1.00.”

    Customer: “But your sign says three for $3! Why is it not $3 for these candy bars!?”

    Me: “Because, sir, the candy bars that you purchased amount to less than $3.00.”

    (The customer went silent for a moment, though his irritated expression never left his face. He paid for his merchandise without another word and left. I stood there for a few moments trying to figure out what kind of math he was using.)

    Not Exactly Heavy Math

    | Roscoe, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I just finish helping someone when a young man walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Do you guys sell ice cubes?”

    Me: “Yes. Would you like an 8-pound bag or a 16-pound bag?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The 16-pound bag holds twice as much ice cubes as the 8-pound bag.”

    Customer: “Is that the heavier one?”

    Not As Easy As ABC, 123

    | Crystal Lake, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    Patient: “I’m picking up some meds. My name is [Name].”

    Me: “I have three prescriptions here for you today. Is that correct?”

    Patient: “I think so. Can you show them to me?”

    Me: “Sure”

    (I pull out three bottles from the bag and show all three to the patient.)

    Patient: “Okay, where’s the third one?”

    Me: “I just showed you all three. What are you talking about?”

    (I hold each one up and count as I go along. I get to three and he still looks confused.)

    Patient: “I thought you said I had three… I don’t see the third one!”

    Me: “I just showed you three bottles! What are you talking about?! Do you know how to count?!”

    Patient: “Oh… okay. I’ll take your word for it but I still don’t think there’s three here”

    A Few Planets Short Of A Solar System

    | Cartersville, GA, USA | Bizarre, Math & Science, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the administrative offices of a museum. One of my job duties is to answer the phone. The following call takes place one afternoon.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [Museum]. May I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I would like to sign up for the astronomy workshop.”

    Me: “Are you a member?”

    Caller: “No, but I want to be. How much does it cost?”

    Me: “There are different levels…”

    (I explain the different levels of membership and prices.)

    Me: “If you join today, I can give you the member price of $10 for the workshop and book your spot. If you are unable to join today, I will have to wait until the advance member registration is over and the cost will be $25.”

    Caller: “I guess I need the family membership to cover my daughter and my mother. Well, she’s really not my mother but the nursing home was going to throw her out on the street…”

    (She tells me a lengthy story about how a woman who isn’t her mother came to live in her home.)

    Caller: “But I don’t have $95 to pay for it. I really want to come!”

    (At this point she begins sobbing hysterically because she wants to come to the workshop, but we are only accepting member reservations at the moment.)

    Caller: “I come and sit in your parking lot on the weekends and watch the happy expressions of people who are leaving your museum, wishing I could go in. Sometimes I will come and walk amongst the trees and think about what is going on inside the museum.”

    (At this point, I’m a little creeped out but I try to help her because I feel a little sorry for her.)

    Me: “I think it would be okay to make an exception for you and let you sign up, and even give you the member price.”

    Caller: “Oh, thank you. Thank you. I will come see you next time I come to walk among the trees.”

    (She never showed up for the workshop. I guess she got tired of walking among the trees.)

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