July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

Customer’s A Real Dodo

| Fresno, CA, USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, do you guys sell any extinct fish?”

(I pause to see if she is messing with me, but she is serious.)

Me: “No, sorry. They are really hard to come by.”

Intelligence Levels Are Falling

| Adirondacks, New York, USA | Math & Science, Uncategorized

(It is the peak of foliage in the fall. We’ve just had a few massive rain storms and lost a lot of the leaves that had already changed.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [lodge], how can I help you?”

Customer: “We wanted to come up and stay to check out the foliage. About how far would you say you are from peak?”

Me: “Well, we were probably about a week away, but after recent storms we lost a lot of the leaves.”

Customer: “About how many would you say you lost?”

Me:”Um, I would say maybe half?”

Customer: “Do you think you’ll be getting any more?”

Build Up Of Hot Air

| Wellington, New Zealand | Math & Science, Uncategorized

(Our store is mostly outdoors, but it has a small greenhouse where cafe customers often sit and have coffee.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I would like to sit in the greenhouse. Could you open a vent for me?”

Me: “Actually, when it’s windy like today it rattles a lot when the doors are open, so you might be more comfortable with them closed.”

Customer: “But we can’t sit in there without ventilation. What about the greenhouse gas?!”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Greenhouse gas! Like global warming! You can’t let people sit in there if you’re letting the greenhouse gas build up!”

Must Have Lymphed Their Way Through Biology

| St. John's, NL, Canada | Math & Science, Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

Me: “Okay, well I’d like to do some tests on your cat.”

Client: “Which kind of tests, how does that work?”

Me: “I’d like to do some blood-work. We take it just like a doctor would take human blood.”

Client: “Cats have blood?!”

Knows Knot Of Mass

| Houghton Lake, MI, USA | Math & Science, Uncategorized

(I work for a discount store that sells bulk birdseed that the customer scoops themselves. A customer approaches the counter with a bag that’s quite full but not tied.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, how are you today?” (I start tying the bag shut so I can lift it on the counter to weigh without spilling.)

Customer: “No! Don’t!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Don’t tie a knot in it or it’ll weigh more!”

Me: “Ma’am. I’m sorry but, how’s that possible?”

Customer: “It’s a knot! They’re heavier!”

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