Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

Can’t Keep A Good Waitress Down

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Top

(I am working as a bartender at a restaurant. The waitress has added a 15% gratuity because the party has been large and difficult to deal with.)

Customer: “Miss? What’s this ‘gravity’ crap?! I ain’t paying for no ‘gravity!'”

Waitress: *without missing a beat* “Ma’am, that’s what holds the food to your plate.”

Customer: “Oh, alright then.” *pays the check*

A Customer You Would Prefer To Circumnavigate Around

| Durham, NC, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Uncategorized

(An employee calls me over to deal with someone who is angry that they can’t take their restaurant leftovers into the theater.)

Customer: “Why can’t I bring this in? I’m not going to eat it or anything!”

Me: “I’m sure you wouldn’t, but unfortunately it is a rule here that you can’t bring it in, and I can’t circumvent it.”

Customer: “What the h*** does geometry have to do with my food?!”

Customer’s A Real Dodo

| Fresno, CA, USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, do you guys sell any extinct fish?”

(I pause to see if she is messing with me, but she is serious.)

Me: “No, sorry. They are really hard to come by.”

Intelligence Levels Are Falling

| Adirondacks, New York, USA | Math & Science, Uncategorized

(It is the peak of foliage in the fall. We’ve just had a few massive rain storms and lost a lot of the leaves that had already changed.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [lodge], how can I help you?”

Customer: “We wanted to come up and stay to check out the foliage. About how far would you say you are from peak?”

Me: “Well, we were probably about a week away, but after recent storms we lost a lot of the leaves.”

Customer: “About how many would you say you lost?”

Me:”Um, I would say maybe half?”

Customer: “Do you think you’ll be getting any more?”

Build Up Of Hot Air

| Wellington, New Zealand | Math & Science, Uncategorized

(Our store is mostly outdoors, but it has a small greenhouse where cafe customers often sit and have coffee.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I would like to sit in the greenhouse. Could you open a vent for me?”

Me: “Actually, when it’s windy like today it rattles a lot when the doors are open, so you might be more comfortable with them closed.”

Customer: “But we can’t sit in there without ventilation. What about the greenhouse gas?!”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Greenhouse gas! Like global warming! You can’t let people sit in there if you’re letting the greenhouse gas build up!”

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