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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    Hollywood, M.D.

    | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Health & Body, Math & Science, Movies & TV

    (A customer comes to the counter with a bleeding hand.)

    Customer: “Have you got a first aid kit back there? I caught my hand and it’s bleeding.”

    Me: “Of course. I’ll go get it.”

    (I come back with the kit and take out some antibiotic ointment and some bandages.)

    Customer: “Oh, I shouldn’t need the bandages.”

    Me: “Are you sure? It’s bleeding quite a lot.”

    Customer: “Well, that ointment will just fix it, won’t it?”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “That stuff you’ve got in your hand, that’ll just heal it up right?”

    Me: “This helps it heal faster and prevents it from getting infected, but it doesn’t heal it immediately.”

    Customer: “Don’t you have the stuff that just fixes it right away?”

    Me: “I don’t believe they have anything that does that, ma’am.”

    Customer: “They do, I saw it before!”

    Me: “Where did you see it?”

    Customer: “I saw it on some movie. I don’t want that stuff there. I want the stuff I saw in the movie. Just get that stuff and fix this already, will you?”

    Bulk Mail To The Future

    | Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Math & Science, Technology

    Caller: “Hi, I called earlier and spoke with someone about getting a quote? She was supposed to email it to me, but I haven’t seen it yet.”

    Me: “Not a problem, ma’am. How long ago was she supposed to have sent it?”

    Caller: “Maybe ten minutes ago?”

    Me: “Let me check with her. Did you check the spam folder, just in case?”

    Caller: “I’ve never opened that folder. I really don’t think it would be there anyway.”

    Me: “Well, sometimes business emails will automatically go to a spam folder based on their settings. You might want to check anyway.”

    Caller: “That’s ridiculous! It wouldn’t be there. Those emails are from the future!”

    No Brains And The Bees

    | Maryland, USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “Excuse me, but do you have anything I can spray on my flowers to keep the bees off them?”

    Me: “You want to keep the bees off your flowers?”

    Customer: “Yes. Do you sell that?”

    Me: “Do you understand how flowers work?”

    Damage Your Self E-Steam

    | New South Wales, Australia | At The Checkout, Math & Science

    (A customer brings in a steamer set.)

    Customer: “This doesn’t work. It’s faulty.”

    Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem with the item?”

    Customer: “It doesn’t steam the food.”

    Me: “Ok, I’m just going to have to test it, to confirm that it’s faulty.” *I ask my co-worker next to me* “How much water do I put in it?”

    Customer: “You put water in it?”

    Stupidity Comes In Different Wavelengths

    | New England, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I am a lifeguard at my local water park, and we are required to scan pools with our eyes following our hand.)

    Customer: “Hello!”

    Me: “Hi sir, can I help you find something?” *continues scanning*

    Customer: “Yes, I have a question. Are you controlling the waves in this pool with your hand?”

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