October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

When Life Demands Too Much, Go Scientology

| Naperville, IL, USA | Math & Science

(I work in a store where we blend toppings in with the ice cream. The prices for addition “mix-ins” are posted in giant numbers.)

Customer: “Hi, I’ll have a small cake batter with Oreos, Heath Bar, M&Ms, fudge, and peanut butter sauce!”

Me: “Okay, coming up!”

(At the register.)

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $x.xx”

Customer: “What?! It says on your board that it is $3!”

Me: “Yes, but you got additional toppings, which increase the price.”

Customer: “Numbers aren’t real! Only scientologists believe in numbers! Why should I have to pay if I don’t believe in numbers?”

Caldera Cravings

| CA, USA | Math & Science, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Tourist: “Have I seen everything there is to see here?”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. What have you seen?”

Tourist: “Everything on the way in. Have I seen it all?”

(I point out several of the other options.)

Tourist: “Can I drive through any of the caves?”

Me: “Nope, sorry. They all have to be walked through.”

Tourist: “That’s ridiculous! Is there at least an elevator?”

Me: “Nope, just stairs.”

Tourist: “Well, where’s the river of lava? I was here a few years ago, and I got to stand by the lava.”

Me: “Ma’am, molten lava hasn’t been here for over 1,000 years.”

Tourist: “Yes it has! I’ve seen it! You just haven’t been here long enough!”

Talking Turkey Results In Mass Deviations

| Seattle, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Uncategorized

Customer: “I want a turkey, but I’m not sure how large.”

Me: “Well, how many people are you having over?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Maybe seven.”

Me: “How about a ten to twelve pound turkey?”

Customer: “Oh, that’s too small.”

Me: “Well, then how about a twelve to fourteen pound turkey?”

Customer: “Oh, that’s too big.”

(We go back and forth like this for ten minutes or so until the customer decides on a fourteen pound turkey. The customer behind her asks for and gets an 18 pound turkey which has a $10 off sticker on it.)

Customer: “How come that turkey’s $10 off? I want $10 off for my turkey.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s for turkeys that are at least sixteen pounds. Turkeys less than sixteen pounds are $5 off.”

Customer: “I don’t want a turkey that’s that big. Don’t you have a sixteen pound turkey that’s only fourteen pounds?”

Discounted Intelligence

| North Bay, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “I’m fine, and you?”

Me: “Also fine, thanks for asking! Just to let you know everything in the store today is 40% off.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “I….I don’t know how else to explain that to you.”

Let Me Just Go Check In The Back-terium

| Rockland, MN, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Uncategorized

Customer: “Your Stilton doesn’t have enough blue cheese in it!”

Me: “I’m sorry. We should be getting some more in tomorrow if you’d like to come back.”

Customer: “Can’t you just go in the back and put more penicillin in it or whatever?”

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