Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!
Caller: “Hi, I called earlier and spoke with someone about getting a quote? She was supposed to email it to me, but I haven’t seen it yet.”
Me: “Not a problem, ma’am. How long ago was she supposed to have sent it?”
Caller: “Maybe ten minutes ago?”
Me: “Let me check with her. Did you check the spam folder, just in case?”
Caller: “I’ve never opened that folder. I really don’t think it would be there anyway.”
Me: “Well, sometimes business emails will automatically go to a spam folder based on their settings. You might want to check anyway.”
Caller: “That’s ridiculous! It wouldn’t be there. Those emails are from the future!”
Customer: “Excuse me, but do you have anything I can spray on my flowers to keep the bees off them?”
Me: “You want to keep the bees off your flowers?”
Customer: “Yes. Do you sell that?”
Me: “Do you understand how flowers work?”
(A customer brings in a steamer set.)
Customer: “This doesn’t work. It’s faulty.”
Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem with the item?”
Customer: “It doesn’t steam the food.”
Me: “Ok, I’m just going to have to test it, to confirm that it’s faulty.” *I ask my co-worker next to me* “How much water do I put in it?”
Customer: “You put water in it?”
(I am a lifeguard at my local water park, and we are required to scan pools with our eyes following our hand.)
Me: “Hi sir, can I help you find something?” *continues scanning*
Customer: “Yes, I have a question. Are you controlling the waves in this pool with your hand?”
(I am working in the garden shop. Note that we’re experiencing 60 mph winds.)
Customer: "You people really have a problem out here!"
Me: "I’m sorry sir, what seems to be the issue?"
Customer: "You have trees blowing over all over the place!"
Me: "I do apologize. We have been trying to contain them, but mother nature is winning."
Customer: "Screw your mother nature! Just take them inside. It’s where they belong anyway!"