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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    (Ursa) Major Pain In The A**

    | Moscow, Russia | Crazy Requests, Math & Science

    (A customer calls and asks that he and his friend need to be picked up. He sounds intoxicated.)

    Me: “Where should the driver pick you up?”

    Caller: “Do you know Ursa Major?”

    Me: “Ursa Major? Is it a name of a local business? A restaurant or a hotel?”

    Caller: “What is this world coming to? It is a constellation! In the sky! We are standing right under it!”

    Spewing Obnoxious Gases

    | Sandy, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science

    (I’m putting an item in a customer’s plastic bag after ringing them out.)

    Customer #1: “Uhm… could you maybe use that bag for somebody who wants to kill the environment?”

    Me: “Yeah, I think I can.”

    (I turn to the next customer in line.)

    Me: “Do you want to kill the environment?”

    Customer #2: “Yes!”

    Me: “A bag it is.”

    Environ-mental

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Math & Science

    Me: “Ma’am, would you like a bag to carry any of these items?”

    Customer: “No, I’m an environmentalist. I don’t want to add to destroy our environment.”

    Me: “Ma’am, security for this store requests that everyone at least receive a bag to know that you’ve bought items here.”

    Customer: “You can’t tell me that I have to take a bag and I won’t have it. I refuse to contribute to the garbage problem!”

    Me: “Fine, would you like to keep these hangers that your clothes came with?”

    Customer: “No, just throw them out.”

    Somebody’s Not Listening

    | Provo, UT, USA | Health & Body, Math & Science

    (I am leaving the small, medical clinic where I work in the laboratory. A couple enter the doors looking lost.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Woman: “We’re trying to find the, ‘er-ology’ clinic?”

    Me: “Ah urology. That’s on the second floor so if you go up the elevator-”

    Man: *interrupting* “Wait, wait! There it is right there!” (He points to a door that says ‘Ear, Nose and Throat’.)

    Me: “Well, actually that’s the door for Ear, Nose–”

    Man: *interrupting again* “Yeah! Ears. Like Ear-ology!”

    The Union Of Soviet Solar Systems

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Language & Words, Math & Science

    Customer: “Excuse me, does this planet mobile include Pluto?”

    Me: “Well, there’s only eight planets on the mobile. So no, it does not.”

    Customer: “I refuse to accept that Pluto is not a planet anymore. I don’t care what the socialists say!”

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