Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

Discounted Intelligence

| North Bay, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “I’m fine, and you?”

Me: “Also fine, thanks for asking! Just to let you know everything in the store today is 40% off.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “I….I don’t know how else to explain that to you.”

Let Me Just Go Check In The Back-terium

| Rockland, MN, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Uncategorized

Customer: “Your Stilton doesn’t have enough blue cheese in it!”

Me: “I’m sorry. We should be getting some more in tomorrow if you’d like to come back.”

Customer: “Can’t you just go in the back and put more penicillin in it or whatever?”

Spaced Out

| New Mexico, USA | History, Math & Science

(I work in the astronomy section of my local natural history museum, which features several large NASA photos. A visitor approaches me and points at a picture of an astronaut doing a spacewalk.)

Visitor: “What is that astronaut doing?”

Me: “Oh, he’s doing a spacewalk.”

Visitor: “You can walk…in space?!”

Me: “Well, no. They just sort of float there while tethered to the spacecraft. They only do it when they need to exit the shuttle to do repairs.”

Visitor: “Oh…” *points at a photo of Apollo 11 launching* “What’s that?”

Me: “That’s Apollo 11 launching to put the first humans on the moon.”

Visitor: “Oh…why didn’t they just build a big ladder?”

Your Argument Doesn’t Hold Water

| Tempe, AZ, USA | Books & Reading, Math & Science, School, Uncategorized

(At the college bookstore where I work, students can sell their books back for cash at the end of the semester.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I won’t be able to buy your textbook back because of the water damage.”

(I flip through the book’s crinkled, sticky pages.)

Student: “Oh, it’s okay. It’s not water damage, it’s humidity. I went on vacation to Missouri and it was humid.”

Me: “I still can’t take your book back because I cannot sell this to another student in this condition.”

Student: “But it’s not water damage! It’s humidity! Humidity made the pages stick together!”

Me: “Ma’am, what is humidity?”

Student: “Water, duh!”

(There’s a pause while the wheels begin to turn in her head.)

Student: “Oh…can you help me find my other books, then?”

Gluing Up Appearances

| North Carolina, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Uncategorized

(This happened while I was working at an upscale restaurant in North Carolina. It’s during one of the worst droughts in history.)

Me: “Alright, ma’am, here is your table. It’s right by the window as requested.”

Customer: “Can we have another table?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’d be glad to move you to another table, but this is the only one available near a window.”

Customer: “Well, I just don’t want to look out at the dead tree.”

Me: “Dead tree?”

Customer: “Yes, you see that dead tree out there? Honestly, your groundskeeper should be doing a better job.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s because we are currently in a drought.”

Customer: “So? He should at least water it.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s against the law to water lawns and trees right now.”

Customer: “Well, he should at least go and glue some fake leaves to the tree!”

Page 27/34First...2526272829...Last