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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    His Repair Method Doesn’t Hold Water

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Technology, Top

    (A customer brings his laptop in to be fixed.)

    Customer: “It won’t turn on.”

    (I plug it in, and press the power button, doesn’t work. I flip it over to make sure the battery is locked into place and see rust/corrosion all over the battery.)

    Me: “Whoa! We can’t fix this. It isn’t safe. What happened to it?”

    Customer: “It got hot, so I put water on it.”

    The Sun Is Such A Slacker Sometimes, Part 2

    | Green Bay, WI, USA | Math & Science

    ( I work near to a city park where a lot of events like fairs or public concerts are held.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling, how may I help you?”

    Caller: “You will be shooting off fireworks tonight, right?”

    Me: “We won’t be, but yes, the city is setting off fireworks.”

    Caller: “When is that going to happen? When have you scheduled it?”

    Me:  “We aren’t scheduling it, but my guess is the city will be shooting them off at around sunset.”

    Caller:  “Well, when is that going to happen?”

    Me: “I don’t know ma’am.Wwe aren’t in charge of that. Perhaps you want to try calling the park and rec department?”

    Caller: “How can you not know when you scheduled the sun to set?”

    Related:
    The Sun Is Such A Slacker Sometimes

    It Will Be Kilo-Hours Before He Get’s It

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Canada, Math & Science

    Me: “Alright, your cell phone will be in service in twenty to thirty minutes.”

    Customer: “How much is that in American time?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Well, in Canada you use the Metric system, right?”

    H2Slow, Part 2

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I’m watering plants in my aisle when a customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Are these real?”

    Me: “Yes they are.” * continues pouring water*

    Customer: “Really?”

    Me: “I’m watering them, miss.”

    Customer: “Doesn’t mean they’re real.”

    Related:
    H2Slow

    Naturally Stupid, Part 2

    | New York, NY, USA | Math & Science, Technology

    Caller: “I can’t access [cable channel]!”

    Me: “Okay, let me assess your problem. When was the last time you tried to access [channel]?”

    Caller: “It was last night.”

    Me: “Alright, was there any out-of-the-ordinary weather last night? Say, like a storm?”

    Caller: “Yeah, there was a thunderstorm. I had nothing to do, so I was trying to watch [channel name], but it wouldn’t let me! It was all fuzzy on the screen.”

    Me: “Sir, I think the thunderstorm interfered with your television power lines, which is why you couldn’t access your channel.”

    Caller: “But I thought your cable company was supposed to make me able to watch any channel in any weather! That’s the whole reason I switched!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, nothing can prevent Mother Nature. When she strikes, we cannot do anything to bring back channels that may have been lost momentarily.”

    Caller: “Who’s ‘Mother Nature’? Is she the one sabotaging my TV?!”

    Related: Naturally Stupid

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