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  • Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    Reaching New (Faren)Heights Of Stupidity

    | Manila, Philippines | Math & Science, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I overhear a tourist couple at breakfast one table over.)

    Customer: “Every day! This coffee is never hot enough.”

    Customer’s husband: “You’re just gonna have to get used to that. In these countries that use the Celsius scale, they boil their water at only 100 degrees.”

    Can’t Keep A Good Waitress Down

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Top

    (I am working as a bartender at a restaurant. The waitress has added a 15% gratuity because the party has been large and difficult to deal with.)

    Customer: “Miss? What’s this ‘gravity’ crap?! I ain’t paying for no ‘gravity!’”

    Waitress: *without missing a beat* “Ma’am, that’s what holds the food to your plate.”

    Customer: “Oh, alright then.” *pays the check*

    A Customer You Would Prefer To Circumnavigate Around

    | Durham, NC, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (An employee calls me over to deal with someone who is angry that they can’t take their restaurant leftovers into the theater.)

    Customer: “Why can’t I bring this in? I’m not going to eat it or anything!”

    Me: “I’m sure you wouldn’t, but unfortunately it is a rule here that you can’t bring it in, and I can’t circumvent it.”

    Customer: “What the h*** does geometry have to do with my food?!”

    Customer’s A Real Dodo

    | Fresno, CA, USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “Hey, do you guys sell any extinct fish?”

    (I pause to see if she is messing with me, but she is serious.)

    Me: “No, sorry. They are really hard to come by.”

    Intelligence Levels Are Falling

    | Adirondacks, New York, USA | Math & Science

    (It is the peak of foliage in the fall. We’ve just had a few massive rain storms and lost a lot of the leaves that had already changed.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [lodge], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “We wanted to come up and stay to check out the foliage. About how far would you say you are from peak?”

    Me: “Well, we were probably about a week away, but after recent storms we lost a lot of the leaves.”

    Customer: “About how many would you say you lost?”

    Me:”Um, I would say maybe half?”

    Customer: “Do you think you’ll be getting any more?”

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