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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    Must Have Lymphed Their Way Through Biology

    | St. John's, NL, Canada | Math & Science, Pets & Animals

    Me: “Okay, well I’d like to do some tests on your cat.”

    Client: “Which kind of tests, how does that work?”

    Me: “I’d like to do some blood-work. We take it just like a doctor would take human blood.”

    Client: “Cats have blood?!”

    Knows Knot Of Mass

    | Houghton Lake, MI, USA | Math & Science

    (I work for a discount store that sells bulk birdseed that the customer scoops themselves. A customer approaches the counter with a bag that’s quite full but not tied.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, how are you today?” (I start tying the bag shut so I can lift it on the counter to weigh without spilling.)

    Customer: “No! Don’t!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Don’t tie a knot in it or it’ll weigh more!”

    Me: “Ma’am. I’m sorry but, how’s that possible?”

    Customer: “It’s a knot! They’re heavier!”

    (Ursa) Major Pain In The A**

    | Moscow, Russia | Crazy Requests, Math & Science

    (A customer calls and asks that he and his friend need to be picked up. He sounds intoxicated.)

    Me: “Where should the driver pick you up?”

    Caller: “Do you know Ursa Major?”

    Me: “Ursa Major? Is it a name of a local business? A restaurant or a hotel?”

    Caller: “What is this world coming to? It is a constellation! In the sky! We are standing right under it!”

    Spewing Obnoxious Gases

    | Sandy, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science

    (I’m putting an item in a customer’s plastic bag after ringing them out.)

    Customer #1: “Uhm… could you maybe use that bag for somebody who wants to kill the environment?”

    Me: “Yeah, I think I can.”

    (I turn to the next customer in line.)

    Me: “Do you want to kill the environment?”

    Customer #2: “Yes!”

    Me: “A bag it is.”

    Environ-mental

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Math & Science

    Me: “Ma’am, would you like a bag to carry any of these items?”

    Customer: “No, I’m an environmentalist. I don’t want to add to destroy our environment.”

    Me: “Ma’am, security for this store requests that everyone at least receive a bag to know that you’ve bought items here.”

    Customer: “You can’t tell me that I have to take a bag and I won’t have it. I refuse to contribute to the garbage problem!”

    Me: “Fine, would you like to keep these hangers that your clothes came with?”

    Customer: “No, just throw them out.”


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