Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

Dumb By Any Metric

| Oklahoma, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

Customer: “What’s the difference between these two water heater gas lines?”

Me: “One is two feet long, and one is four feet long.”

Customer: “But what is the difference? They’re priced differently.”

Me: “Um, one is 24 inches long, and one is 48 inches long.”

Customer: “I don’t understand! Why should I buy one over the other?”

Me: “Because one is only this long.” *holds arms two feet apart* “And one is this long.” *hold arms four feet apart*

Customer: “You don’t have to be so rude!” *storms away*

The DST Fairy Bids Thee Good Morning

| Grapevine, TX, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Math & Science

(I am working in guest care at a hotel. It’s the morning after “springing forward”, and a guest calls down to ask the time.)

Guest: “What’s the current local time?”

Me: “It is 7:45 AM.”

Guest: “Then why does my clock say that time already? Did you send a maid into my room while I was sleeping to set my clock forward?! That is just unacceptable!”

Me: “Sir, the rooms all have atomic clocks that are automatically set by satellite signal.”

Guest: *click*

Less Than Or Equal To Dumb

| Portland, OR, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Math & Science

Guest: “We have a party of six. Will that fit in your hotel’s van?”

Me: “Well, our hotel van has room for eleven.”

Guest: *blank stare*

Me: “So, your party of six will fit.”

Guest: “Oh! Good.”

The Engendered Confusion

, | Miami, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I’m in the back taking money and orders when a customer pulls up to my window.)

Customer: “I heard that your chicken sandwiches aren’t made of chicken. I heard they’re actually made of rooster.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your chicken sandwiches aren’t made of chickens, but roosters, right?”

Me: “Roosters are chickens, sir.”

Customer: “No, they’re not!”

Me: “Yes, roosters are male chickens and hens are female chickens.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s like that human thing, too…boy and girl! I see…” *drives off without ordering anything*

Intelligence Doesn’t Quite Measure Up

| Massachusetts, USA | Math & Science

(Two coworkers and I are sitting around when a woman who appears to be approaching 60 years of age walks in. My newer coworker takes her order.)

Coworker: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, hi…I was wondering, how long is a footlong?”

(We all think she’s joking.)

Coworker: *holds hands up about a foot apart*

Customer: *still confused* “Hmm…okay…uh, can I see one?”

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