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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    Gluing Up Appearances

    | North Carolina, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (This happened while I was working at an upscale restaurant in North Carolina. It’s during one of the worst droughts in history.)

    Me: “Alright, ma’am, here is your table. It’s right by the window as requested.”

    Customer: “Can we have another table?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I’d be glad to move you to another table, but this is the only one available near a window.”

    Customer: “Well, I just don’t want to look out at the dead tree.”

    Me: “Dead tree?”

    Customer: “Yes, you see that dead tree out there? Honestly, your groundskeeper should be doing a better job.”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s because we are currently in a drought.”

    Customer: “So? He should at least water it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s against the law to water lawns and trees right now.”

    Customer: “Well, he should at least go and glue some fake leaves to the tree!”

    Seeing The Sun In A Whole New Light

    | Narvik, Norway | Geography, Math & Science, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in a store, where a lot of tourists come through. A German motorcyclist couple are on their way up to the North Cape.)

    Customer: “Oh, your country is so beautiful! We’re going all the way up to the North Cape on our motorcycle.”

    Me: “Wow, how fun! Hope you get lucky with the weather then.”

    Customer: “Thank you dear. Yes, we have always wanted to see the midnight sun. We have saved up for this trip for years.”

    Me: “Well, then I really hope the weather gods are on your side. Would be a shame if it were all cloudy and grey when you get there.”

    Customer: “Oh, they say the midnight sun is so bright, it’ll shine through just about anything when it comes up! Can’t wait!”

    Me: “When it comes up? The sun is up all the time now.”

    Customer: “What? We’re here to see the midnight sun! You know, the one that shines at midnight?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the midnight sun is the sun. The only sun. Only difference is that it’s so high here up north that it never sets. It just circles around a little. Therefore we can see it at night.”

    Customer: “What!” *she turns to her husband and rants in German* “Did you hear that? We’ve been ripped off! It’s the same sun as we have at home! And to think we came to this s*** expensive country, drove all the way, and it’s the same Sun!?”

    Reaching New (Faren)Heights Of Stupidity

    | Manila, Philippines | Math & Science, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I overhear a tourist couple at breakfast one table over.)

    Customer: “Every day! This coffee is never hot enough.”

    Customer’s husband: “You’re just gonna have to get used to that. In these countries that use the Celsius scale, they boil their water at only 100 degrees.”

    Can’t Keep A Good Waitress Down

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Top

    (I am working as a bartender at a restaurant. The waitress has added a 15% gratuity because the party has been large and difficult to deal with.)

    Customer: “Miss? What’s this ‘gravity’ crap?! I ain’t paying for no ‘gravity!’”

    Waitress: *without missing a beat* “Ma’am, that’s what holds the food to your plate.”

    Customer: “Oh, alright then.” *pays the check*

    A Customer You Would Prefer To Circumnavigate Around

    | Durham, NC, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (An employee calls me over to deal with someone who is angry that they can’t take their restaurant leftovers into the theater.)

    Customer: “Why can’t I bring this in? I’m not going to eat it or anything!”

    Me: “I’m sure you wouldn’t, but unfortunately it is a rule here that you can’t bring it in, and I can’t circumvent it.”

    Customer: “What the h*** does geometry have to do with my food?!”


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