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  • Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    Dispense With The Pedantries

    | Ohio, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    Me: “Hello, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was in here yesterday and picked up a liquid allergy medication for my dog.”

    Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “You didn’t give me the right syringe to give it to them.”

    (The customer places a bottle of medication and a plastic 3CC syringe on the counter. I pick up the the syringe and the bottle, which instructs the owner to give 5CC’s orally, three times per day. I test the syringe to make sure that it’s working properly.)

    Me: “I’m sorry miss, but what problem do you seem be having with this?”

    Customer: “Can’t you see that the instructions say to give 5CC’s per day?!”

    Me: “I can see that.”

    Customer: “Then why did you only give me a 3CC dispenser?”

    Me: “Well, we don’t have any 5CC syringes. You’re supposed to fill the syringe up to the 3CC mark, dispense it, and then give another 2CCs.”

    Customer: “But that’s not 5CCs.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “That just isn’t going to work! 3CC’s plus 2CC’s isn’t 5CC’s!”

    (I decide not to argue with her, so I go back into the back and grab another 3CC syringe.)

    Me: “I’m sorry about the mix up. The doctor is very sorry. He says to give the dog the first syringe clear full. Then, fill this new syringe up to the 2CC mark, and dispense that orally.”

    Customer: “Well, why couldn’t you have done that in the first place?!”

    A Few Slices Short Of A Pie

    | Mississippi, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I am taking an order over the phone. The caller has never ordered here before and isn’t familiar with the menu.)

    Caller: “How many slices are on your 12 inch?”

    Me: “8.”

    Caller: “What about your 18 inch?”

    Me: “8.”

    Caller: “I thought the 12 inch had 8 slices.”

    Me: “It does. They both have 8 slices.”

    Caller: “How is that possible? If they both have 8 slices, shouldn’t they be the same size?”

    Me: “No, miss. The slices are just different sizes. The number of slices doesn’t make the size of the pizza. They both have 8 slices, but the 18 inch has much bigger slices.”

    Caller: “Oh. Right. Can you cut it twice, to make the slices smaller?”

    Me: “Of course. We can double cut it for you.”

    Caller: “So, how many slices would that be? What, 12?”

    Me: “16.”

    Caller: “No. If you normally have 8 slices, and you cut them twice, it should be 12 pieces, not 16.”

    Me: “It’s 16, Miss. 8 times 2 is 16.”

    Caller: “Whatever…I don’t think so. You have wings?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Caller: “What sizes?”

    Me: “8, 12, 18, 24, and 50.”

    Caller: “Oh, alright. I’ll take a 10 piece.”

    Me: “We have an 8 piece and a 12 piece.”

    Caller: “No, I said a 10 piece.”

    Me: “I know…we don’t have a 10 piece, but we do have an 8 piece or a 12 piece.”

    Caller: “I’m pretty sure you have a 10 piece. My sister said she always gets a ten piece. Are you new? Maybe you should check the menu!”

    Me: “I’ve worked here for 3 years. We’ve never had a 10 piece and I’m looking at the menu on the computer right now. 8 or 12?”

    Caller: “Fine. 12!”

    You’re Just Shorting Yourself

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money, Top

    (On this day, we are selling cups of tall coffee for a quarter to celebrate our 25th anniversary in Canada.)

    Customer #1: “One short dark coffee.”

    Me: “Oh, today is your lucky day! A tall coffee is a quarter, so let me get you a bigger cup of coffee for less money!”

    Customer #1: “I want a short.”

    Me: “Well, a short is 8 oz at $1.74 after tax, but a tall is 12 oz at $0.28 after tax—today only.”

    Customer #1: “Don’t cheat me! I don’t want more coffee!”

    Me: “But it costs less…maybe I could charge you for a tall and just fill it half way?”

    Customer #1: “Stop your trickery and give me what I want. You are trying to rip me off!”

    Me: “Okay. One short coffee…that’s $1.74.”

    Customer #1: “Thank you. Was that so freaking hard?!”

    (The customer walks away, and the next customer approaches.)

    Customer #2: “So, let me get this straight: I can get like four coffees for the price of a short?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer #2: “Oh, that’s a great deal! I’ll get four!”

    (Hearing this, Customer #1 turns back to the counter, enraged.)

    Customer #1: “You’re giving him FOUR?! You’re playing favorites, you b****!”

    Me: *shocked*

    Customer #2: “How much do you hate your job right now?”

    Animal, Mineral, Debatable

    | Boston, MA, USA | Math & Science

    (The store I worked at sells rock and mineral specimens, so it’s quite common that customers don’t know much about what they are buying. Luckily, I have a geology background, so I can explain in detail what things are.)

    Customer: *points up at a piece* “What is that?”

    Me: “It’s a chrysanthemum stone.”

    Customer: “Well, what is that?”

    Me: “It’s strontium sulfate that forms on top of a black limestone.”

    Customer: “But what IS that?”

    Me: “Strontium sulfate is Celestite. This is just a different form of it, but deposited on a limestone; it looks like a flower.”

    Customer: “But what is THAT though? It’s not a fossil of a flower, is it?”

    Me: “No, it’s a mineral on top of a limestone. Limestones are a fine-grained sedimentary rock. The crystallization just makes it looks like a flower.”

    Customer: “So it’s a rock on top of another rock?”

    Me: “Not technically, but sort of…I don’t know how to explain it simpler than that.”

    Customer: “So, it’s two rocks in one! I’ll take it.”

    Me: “Okay, great. I’ll assume you want an info card on it?”

    Customer: “Nah, it’s just a rock on a rock. That’s all I need to know!”

    Dumb By Any Metric

    | Oklahoma, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    Customer: “What’s the difference between these two water heater gas lines?”

    Me: “One is two feet long, and one is four feet long.”

    Customer: “But what is the difference? They’re priced differently.”

    Me: “Um, one is 24 inches long, and one is 48 inches long.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand! Why should I buy one over the other?”

    Me: “Because one is only this long.” *holds arms two feet apart* “And one is this long.” *hold arms four feet apart*

    Customer: “You don’t have to be so rude!” *storms away*

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