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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    Reached Rock-Bottom Dollar

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m finishing up a transaction with a customer when she hands me two coupons. I scan the $5 off coupon first, and then the 10% off coupon.)

    Me:“Your total comes to [total].”

    Customer #1: “YOU JUST CHEATED ME OUT OF A DOLLAR!”

    Me: *taken aback* “I’m sorry, what?”

    Customer #1: “You scanned the $5 one first, which then lowered the price so the 10 % off comes out to less!”

    Me:“Oh, I’m sorry it looks that way. It’s actually just the way our system works. The $5 coupon is seen as a coupon, and not a form of tender. You haven’t actually paid $5, so if I had scanned the 10% one first, once I scanned the $5 one, it would have lowered your discount to the same.”

    Customer #1: “No, it wouldn’t have. You’re just making that up. You did that on purpose!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I promise you it would have. That’s actually why I did the $5 one first, because I’ve seen it happen, and customers get upset when they see the discount get smaller.”

    Customer #1: “Look, I know it’s only $1, but what you’re saying makes no sense. You have no idea what you’re talking about!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve been here three years. I can promise you that is what would have happened, However, if you would like, I can call the manager up here to void the transaction and I will do it your way so you can see.”

    Customer #1: “No, I don’t have time for that! It’s only $1, but you cheated me. I don’t have time for this!”

    (This goes on for a full three minutes of her yelling at me for cheating her out of $1 and me offering to have the transaction voided and her insisting that she doesn’t have time. Finally, a customer at the tag engraving machine decides that he’s had enough.)

    Customer #2: “Lady! You keep insisting that it is no big deal and that you don’t have time, but you’ve wasted her time and mine by arguing even though she has offered numerous times to do it your way. I will give you the d*** dollar if it means you will shut the h*** up and just leave!”

    Customer #1: *grunts, glares at me and him, RIPS her bags out of my hands, and storms off*

    Customer #2: *sighs* “You couldn’t pay me enough to work even one shift for you.”

    A Thought For Your Pennies

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Math & Science, Money

    (I’m a pharmacy tech working the drive thru. An older customer pulls up, and we go through getting her prescriptions.)

    Me: “Okay, your total will be $67.29.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (I go and grab her prescriptions from our waiting bin and come back to finish the transaction.)

    Customer: “Was that $68?”

    Me: “$67.29.”

    Customer: “$67.34?”

    Me: *now trying to not laugh* “$67.29″

    Customer: “Oh, 29.”

    (I looked back at my pharmacist and he’s trying to not crack up while in view of the customer. I finish the transaction and close the window.)

    Pharmacist: “Where on earth did she get 34 from?!”

    Lucky Dollar Thirteen

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (It is my first day working the cash register, and everything is going well. A customer approaches my register with a handful of items. At first, she can’t figure out which items she wishes to use for which promotions, constantly changing her mind. Then she wants to use multiple (expired) coupons on her purchase. I call my coworker over to help explain to the customer how the promotions and coupons work. We finally get her straightened out on the promotions, and then this exchange happens.)

    Customer: “Okay, I think I got it. Now, with this coupon I get one item free, right?”

    Me:” Yes, ma’am, one item up to $13.”

    Customer: “Okay, well, these items here are about $13 total. Can I use those?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, the coupon is for one item up to $13.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I’d like to use this item, then.”

    (She places her coupon on a $14 item.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t use the coupon to get that item free; it’s $14.”

    Customer: “But, you said $13.”

    Coworker: “Yes, up to $13, but that is $14.”

    Customer: “But, you said $13.”

    Coworker: “Yes, up to $13. THAT’S $14.”

    Customer: “But… didn’t you say $13?”

    Coworker:  Yes, the coupon is up to $13. That item is $14.”

    (This continues back and forth for nearly a minute.)

    Customer: “OH! You mean INCLUDING $13!”

    Coworker: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Well, the coupon should say that. I’ll find another item.”

    (The customer goes to get another item– We still don’t know if she understood a word we said. Since we don’t know how long the customer is going to take, I invite the next customer in line to come to the register.)

    Next Customer: *sets her items on the counter with a gracious smile* “I have four items and no coupons.”

    Me: “I am so sorry for your wait, ma’am…”

    Drive (Thru) The Price Up

    | TX, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money

    (For my drive-thru customers, I try to give them the price from memory. Also, some of our customers try to be funny by being outraged at our prices.)

    Me: “That’ll be [price].”

    Customer: “How much?!”

    (As I’m getting his items, I notice that one of them costs slightly more than I remembered.)

    Me: “It’s [correct, slightly higher price].”

    Customer: “D***, I should have kept my mouth shut!”

    No Helium For The Airhead, Part 2

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (Because of a helium shortage, we currently have a limited amount of tanks to use on balloon orders. We run out in the middle of a day that has a special event going on.)

    Store Owner: “I’m sorry to say we can’t fill any more balloons unless it’s with air. If you want any helium balloons, you will have to go to [other store known for its poor service].”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I need 20 balloons and you’re telling me I can’t have them now?”

    Store Owner: “I’ve called in for more tanks, but I won’t have them in before tomorrow, so if you need them you’ll have to go elsewhere.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! You should have planned better and ordered more tanks to begin with.”

    Me: “We could try that, but we’re only given four tanks a week. Hospitals have a priority on helium for their machines, so their demands come first.”

    Customer: “If the hospital needs helium so badly, why don’t they make their own?”

    Me: “Helium isn’t man-made. That’s why.”

    Customer: *scoffs* “Yes, it is. How else do you think they put it in those tanks?”

    Store Owner: “They trap it when they mine, but—”

    Customer: “That is the dumbest thing I’ve heard. I can’t believe you idiots believe that shortage crap. I’m going to [other store]. I bet they won’t make up crap to get out of work!” *storms out*

    Store Owner: “I bet he also thinks H2O is an energy drink.”

    Related:
    No Helium For The Airhead

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