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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    Total Recall

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

    (Whenever a customer hands me actual cash, I always recount it and repeat the sum back to them to ensure they have given me the right amount, The customer is in a rush and not listening to me.)

    Me: “With your coupons, your total is $12.34.”

    (The customer hands me $21 and some change while looking at the display.)

    Me: “Out of $21.46?”

    (She ignores me so I enter the amount into the computer, take out her change and close the drawer.)

    Me: “Your change is $9.12. Would you like your receipt with you or in the bag?”

    Customer: “What? I didn’t want change back! That’s why I gave you exact change! I should be getting $5 back!”

    Me: “No, Ma’am. I told you the total was $12.34 after your discounts and repeated how much you gave me back to you.”

    Customer: “But the display says $16.46! Give me the right change back; I’m trying to lighten my purse and I don’t want coins!”

    Me: “That was before the discounts. The display shows the amount due after discounts on this side of the display.” *I reach over the monitor to point*

    Customer: “Open the register back up and get me the correct change! NOW!”

    Me: “The register will only open for a cash transaction.”

    (The lady continues to yell at me, disregarding her own stupidity until another customer eventually pushes in front of her while giving her a dirty look.)

    Next Customer: “She told you the correct total and you didn’t bother paying attention.”

    They Don’t Charge Extra For Time

    | UK | Math & Science, Movies & TV

    Customer: “Two tickets to see [Film] this evening, please.”

    Me: “Of course. Would you like to watch in 2D or 3D?”

    Customer: “Oh, I wish you had 4D, too, That would be cool!”

    Me: “Well, technically, since films are moving images our 3D films are 4D. They move through time!”

    Customer: “The fourth dimension!”

    Coupons Can Be Taxing

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month

    (I manage a fast food/coffee shop. A customer presents a coupon for $1.99 coffee. I make her drink and I ring it up.)

    Me: “That’s going to be $2.11.”

    Customer: “That’s with the coupon?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “But it’s supposed to be $1.99.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. $1.99 plus tax.”

    Customer: “But why is it $2.11? That seems like too much.”

    Me: “Well its $1.99 plus 12 cents tax which comes to $2.11.”

    Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense! It should be $1.99!”

    (This goes on for a couple minutes and my boss is next to me counting money.)

    Customer: *to my boss* “You understand what I’m saying right?”

    Boss: “I’m not sure I do. The drink is $1.99 plus tax and the tax is 12 cents so the total should be $2.11.”

    (The customer stops and thinks for a second and then, looking quite embarrassed turns to me.)

    Customer: “OH, MY GOSH I’m so sorry! I really need this coffee!”

    Reached Rock-Bottom Dollar

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m finishing up a transaction with a customer when she hands me two coupons. I scan the $5 off coupon first, and then the 10% off coupon.)

    Me:“Your total comes to [total].”

    Customer #1: “YOU JUST CHEATED ME OUT OF A DOLLAR!”

    Me: *taken aback* “I’m sorry, what?”

    Customer #1: “You scanned the $5 one first, which then lowered the price so the 10 % off comes out to less!”

    Me:“Oh, I’m sorry it looks that way. It’s actually just the way our system works. The $5 coupon is seen as a coupon, and not a form of tender. You haven’t actually paid $5, so if I had scanned the 10% one first, once I scanned the $5 one, it would have lowered your discount to the same.”

    Customer #1: “No, it wouldn’t have. You’re just making that up. You did that on purpose!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I promise you it would have. That’s actually why I did the $5 one first, because I’ve seen it happen, and customers get upset when they see the discount get smaller.”

    Customer #1: “Look, I know it’s only $1, but what you’re saying makes no sense. You have no idea what you’re talking about!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve been here three years. I can promise you that is what would have happened, However, if you would like, I can call the manager up here to void the transaction and I will do it your way so you can see.”

    Customer #1: “No, I don’t have time for that! It’s only $1, but you cheated me. I don’t have time for this!”

    (This goes on for a full three minutes of her yelling at me for cheating her out of $1 and me offering to have the transaction voided and her insisting that she doesn’t have time. Finally, a customer at the tag engraving machine decides that he’s had enough.)

    Customer #2: “Lady! You keep insisting that it is no big deal and that you don’t have time, but you’ve wasted her time and mine by arguing even though she has offered numerous times to do it your way. I will give you the d*** dollar if it means you will shut the h*** up and just leave!”

    Customer #1: *grunts, glares at me and him, RIPS her bags out of my hands, and storms off*

    Customer #2: *sighs* “You couldn’t pay me enough to work even one shift for you.”

    A Thought For Your Pennies

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Math & Science, Money

    (I’m a pharmacy tech working the drive thru. An older customer pulls up, and we go through getting her prescriptions.)

    Me: “Okay, your total will be $67.29.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (I go and grab her prescriptions from our waiting bin and come back to finish the transaction.)

    Customer: “Was that $68?”

    Me: “$67.29.”

    Customer: “$67.34?”

    Me: *now trying to not laugh* “$67.29″

    Customer: “Oh, 29.”

    (I looked back at my pharmacist and he’s trying to not crack up while in view of the customer. I finish the transaction and close the window.)

    Pharmacist: “Where on earth did she get 34 from?!”

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