November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 18

| AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Math & Science

(A sorority full of girls calls in with one girl as the primary contact, unable to connect to their wireless router. First, as I’m verifying the address:)

Customer: *…[digit], [digit], [digit], one slash two.”

Me: “So that’s [full number] and a half.”

Customer: “NO, one slash two.”

(Later on while troubleshooting:)

Me: “So how many devices are you trying to connect wirelessly?”

Customer: “Well, we have seven or eight devices total, but only two are ‘wirelessly.’ The rest use the wifi.”

Me: “…”


Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 17

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 16

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 15

Counting Up The Idiots

| USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

(I’m a supervisor at a well-known department store. I am ringing up a customer.)

Me: “Okay, sir, so that’ll be $20.24.”

Customer: “But the sign said it was on sale for $24.99.”

Me: “Okay… but it’s $20.24.”

Customer: “BUT THE SIGN SAID $24.99!”

Me: “Sir, 20 is cheaper than 24.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s cheaper? Okay.”

Me: “…”

The Sun Never Sets On Ignorance

| CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(Several highways intersect at our small town. It is morning. People tend to get turned around easily.)

Customer: “Does the sun always rise in the north here?”

Me: “…”

Their Math Education Came At A Discount

| Aurora, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

(My work has a toilet on sale for $189.00, which is a 40% discount. Most people are very pleased with the deal and I personally have sold quite a few.)

Customer: “Why is this on sale?”

Me: “It’s just a deal that we came up with for our customers.”

Customer: “Is it damaged?”

Me: “No, sir, not at all. This is only a display model, as well. You will be getting one that is boxed.”

Customer: “What if I want this one?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s a display model. Displays are not for sale. You get one in a box, straight from the maker.”

Customer: “That is just weird.”

Me: “Well, the display model gets touched by hundreds of people. The one you get will be nice and new.”

Customer: “What about the price?”

Me: “It’s a great deal. It’s 40% off!”

Customer: “That’s it?”

Me: “Sir?

Customer: “That doesn’t seem like that great of a deal.”

Me: “Well, sir, the original price is $315, so you would be saving $126.00 on it.”

Customer: “Can I pay $126 and still get it?”

Me: “No, sir. You would still owe me over $60 dollars.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because the price is $189.”

Customer: “That doesn’t make sense. It’s $126 off so that is what I should pay. That is my offer.”

Me: “We don’t sell things by offers, sir. We sell them by the listed prices. The item is 60% off, which makes the price $189.00. It is a huge discount from the original price.”

Customer: “But I made my offer.”

Me: “Yes, but we don’t sell things by best offer. We sell things by our prices. The price is $189.00.”

Customer: *pulling out his phone and using a calculator app* “But $126 is only 40% off! So your 189.00 is way higher than what you think! So because you are wrong, I should get it at $126.”

Me: “Sir, discounts don’t work that way. You subtract the discount from the original. 315 minus 126 is 189, making it a 40% discount. To pay $126, you would be receiving a 60% discount.”

Customer: “That is not true! Give me the discount you advertised!”

Me: “That is what I am trying to do.”

Customer: “Liar!” *storms off*

Next Customer: “Was he really unhappy saving over a hundred dollars?”

Me: “Apparently, yes.”

Next Customer: “Well, I think it’s a great deal. I’ll buy two for my house, as long as you ring it up!”

Physically Hilarious

| PA, USA | Health & Body, Math & Science

(I work at a science museum, running interactive exhibits that demonstrate scientific principles, although mostly it’s just fun and games. I’m currently running an exhibit that consists of a unicycle on a track 20 feet in the air; it’s held steady by a 300-pound weight underneath it, and rides simply like a bike with an elaborate seat belt. The bike does wobble, and we’re told to warn people of that.)

Me: “Once you put your feet on those peddles, you will feel the bike sway. That’s alright; it’s supposed to happen. With the weight underneath you, there’s no possible way you’ll fall.”

Guests: “Are you sure?”

Me: “I’m sure. If you fall, I’m going to be way more concerned about the laws of physics breaking.”

(Surprisingly, not many guests think I’m funny.)